Book II: The first day without a sun
by tdfireproof
Summary: NOTE: this is the sequel to "Some day the dream will end" DO NOT READ unless you have read the first one, then READ and comment like crazy. Story starts a month after Leah has left, Embry is trying to deal with it.
1. Prologue: the first day without a sun

**Disclaimer: I **_**do**_** actually own this, I was thinking about signing it at the bottom, or just not telling anyone I wrote it and put it up under my name saying it came from "some poet" but I didn't, it's mine… it will make sense once I'm done.**

The first morning without a sun

I woke up the first morning when there wasn't a sun

I was a bit unstable, as this day had begun

It was hard the first morning how my eyes did run

I didn't react because no one else missed the light

The overcoming darkness coming in to plain sight

The fleeting hope of a poem once to recite

Hope as elusive as doing what's right

Everyone didn't notice the hole in the sky

The gaping abyss that even if I try

They simply all shrugged by and by

They saw hope where my darkness lie

I throw my fist in the air, as if to defy

Perhaps this is a joke, of great orchestration

How else could I explain my vast exasperation?

I'm feeling over taken by the darkening sensation

I must preserve my memories, form this contamination

Maybe I'm dreaming, this is all my creation

Or is it possible my life before was my imagination?

I wonder again was there ever a sun?

A slight sky ray, that provided our fun?

Maybe all this time I've been living in darkness.

Where the power I had was what I couldn't harness.

Maybe darkness is a new kind of light.

One more understanding that would hear my plight.

**Okay so this was written by me, as I said before. I put it here because it explained how Embry felt, I'm not going to Explicate most of it but I'll give you the title and the main purpose, the rest of it I'd love to hear what you think.**

**The first day without a sun is the first day after the break up, everyone else is moving through their lives like nothing else has gone wrong but it's as obvious and missing the sun. I could go in to much more depth but I'll give away the rest of the explication and I'd like to hear your opinions, comments… next chapter is up… now!**


	2. Devastation and Reform

**Disclaimer: Well well well, guess who still isn't Stephenie Meyer, or owning Twilight, or any characters… me**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Re-read the Prologue before reading this, I added author notes and stuff about the poem, if you have read my author notes, well then go ahead and read.**

There were many things I did to try and forget her, she'd only been gone for a month but it felt like eternity. Every morning before my body could register what I was doing I'd strap on a back pack and heavy clothing, the back pack's weight was increasing every day, but the weights on my ankles stayed at fifty pounds each, I'd cheated and thrown some more weights in my pockets until I'd realized they'd fall if I did. I put more weight any where I could. Every day I ran for as long as I could, and every day I increased the weight. I realized I could jog for a couple hours but I didn't want that, I wanted pain faster, so I sprinted every day. And every day after I was done my muscles groaned in pain, a pain I'd gotten so used to I didn't even pay it any mind. Most mornings I'd end up back in La Push by the end of it but not today. Jasper had asked me to come over, and I'd stopped doing anything besides was Jasper asked me to do. Jacob tried to understand my pain, that is between playing tea party and dress up with Renesmee. Seth had gone oddly silent, pushing me away, he was the only one who hadn't imprinted in the pack and when I needed him, he'd just walked away, it was not like Seth, but I figured he missed his sister and blamed me for her leaving.

_Make's sense, you even think about telling her you love her and she fucking flies across the damn country to who the fuck knows where_. Yes I'd picked up swearing much more then before, even in my mind. I was nearing the Cullens, I always stayed away from roadways that were used often, even and idiot would notice I'm running faster then should be possible, not to mention the fact I had over three hundred pounds on me to slow me down.

I looked across the long fields of the Cullen home and realized this was more my home then my own, I spent just as many nights here as I did there, but I spent many more days here. I'd remembered how much time I'd spent with her here. _Come on you weak ass girl, say her name_. _No, I don't want to_._ Wow you're bitch owned and she isn't even here_. I ignored the thoughts, I couldn't even think her name anymore, I had to blur every memory of how she looked, sounded walking in to a room, how she felt, and the sweet smell of her, not to mention her taste. _Shut the fuck up!_ I yelled in my own mind.

My face was far from neutral, Renesmee was the first one out of the house, Jacob behind, she jumped in to my arms and I caught her, without thinking. She'd grown so much, but compared to Jacob and I who were pushing well over six and a half feet tall she could still be considered a toddler.

"What's wrong Embry?" she asked inquisitively. Jacob walked forward to stop her but I put my hand out in a motion to stop him. my eyes met hers and her hand timidly neared my chin. Through Renesmee's eyes I saw her, the two of us together, then just me. I nodded. She threw her arms around my neck, they almost didn't make it around. I just pulled her closer and hugged her. At first I resented the fact that Jacob spent all his time with her, but now she might as well be my younger sister how often I spent time here. My freakishly smart, growing faster then anything I've ever seen before sister.

Her eyes met mine and she reach and touched my jaw. She saw Jasper and I talking laughing. I smiled.

"Uncle Jasper helps make you better." I nodded, trying to make her feel better. It wasn't her job to make my life right. She turned around to look at Jacob then she breathed in quickly and put her hand back on my face. Her memories turned to Jacob and I laughed, spending time together. She pulled away but didn't say anything. I nodded. She pulled herself out of my arms and climbed up my shoulder till her mouth was less then an inch from my ear.

"We can share him" she whispered so quietly I knew Jacob didn't hear it. I smiled, Nessie had a heart of gold, but I didn't think she'd understand that he didn't want to spend time away from her. I gave her a quick hug and quiet literally tossed her to Jacob. He didn't find that nearly as entertaining as Nessie or I did.

"Hey you want to go hunting with us?" Jacob asked I guess it was time for her to go hunting. I shook my head.

"Nah, I'd prefer pancakes and eggs over deer and mountain lion." I said smiling. I didn't knock anymore, without saying the words Esme had basically told me I was part of the family now. She felt horrible for what happened with Leah. I tried to tell her not to worry about it, but she of course did.

I stepped through the front door and heard the kitchen coming alive. I turned to see who it was. Alice, Jasper and Bella were in there, Edward standing not too far behind. I felt bad.

"Hey Bella could I speak with you about something?" I said sheepishly. Her eyes turned to Edward and he nodded, I knew he could read what I was going to say, but it was something I have gotten used to. She led me outside to the porch. We stood there, it was awkward something she didn't catch, usually people sat like this.

"Hey, Bella, I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you about the werebears." I said trying not to look at her. She moved to touch me but I didn't feel the cold, I realized I was still wearing my heavy running gear. I started taking it off leaving me in beat up shorts and a tight tank top that Alice picked for me.

"It's okay, I guess I understood what you were trying to say." She looked almost as awkward as I felt.

"Hey if you need some one to talk to I'm always here." _Bella I said I was sorry, not that I wanted to cry on her shoulder_. I thought pointedly, obviously I wouldn't say it out loud, Edward laughed from the kitchen.

"What is it dear?" Bella asked turning around to face Edward. Edward and I had an agreement, basically I could think sarcastically as I wanted, as long as I didn't directly insult Bella in my thoughts, and he wouldn't share them.

"Sorry Bella, can't tell you." he said still smiling. I think he understood. I gave Bella a weak attempt at a smile which she bought. I turned back to the kitchen making my way over to the two inexperienced vampire cooks.

Jasper had started cooking shortly after Leah left, and Alice shortly after him. I had told him he didn't need to but he said he wanted to learn something new, Alice I wasn't even going to try and sway, I wasn't messing with Alice, she was a cute little force of nature. Edward laughed again. Alice realizing where why he was laughing turned to me.

"What were you thinking?" I smiled, and opened my mouth awkwardly. Edward saved me the humiliation and answered for me.

"He said you're a cute little force of nature." Alice smiled. She turned around with eggs on a plate. She was definitely getting better at cooking.

"Still my favorite wolf." I smiled. I loved my time with the Cullens, I knew they were leaving and I'd be left in a bad spot but until then I'd enjoy my time with them.

"Thanks Alice, but when you're gone what am I going to do for clothing?" I asked sarcastically. A grin spread across her face. Apparently she took my question seriously.

"I'll mail clothes to you!" she exclaimed. It was truly hard to be in a bad mood with Alice around, her and Jasper anyway. Jasper turned around with a hefty stack of pancakes, placing them in front of me. _I was going to miss her, she was kind of crazy but that's how I knew she cared, I wish they weren't leaving_. Bella turned around with a large stack of bacon and toast. It looked delicious, save Jasper's pancakes. in his defense he had the hardest task. I started with the eggs and bacon shoveling it in to my mouth. It became known to me to me they preferred me to shovel it down rather then side with etiquette. I finished the pancakes that definitely tasted better then yesterdays. But Alice had gotten very good with spices on the eggs.

"So which were better? My eggs or Jaspers pancakes?" She was jumping up and down in anticipation. I chuckled at the statement, no Alice was the best friend that could always make you smile, or annoy the hell out of you, either or.

"Both were great." I said neutrally, even if liked Jasper's more I would have said the same thing, but I had my loyalty to him. Alice's eyes turned to Edward who smiled.

"Your eggs Alice." Jasper sighed in defeat, obviously not too offended. My jaw dropped turning to Edward. He winced and turned to Bella.

"Pancakes are harder to make." I said trying to defend Jasper.

"He likes your seasoning." Edward commented to Alice not looking back to see me glare. Jasper sighed, Emmett smiling coming down the stairs. I never disliked Emmett, I just never got to know him.

"Hey Embry, Jasper, you two going to work on the bike?" I nodded. _I knew Jasper had a bike, I knew eventually this was going to be given to me_._ I didn't like the idea of the Cullen's giving me so much I never did anything to deserve, but I wasn't going to turn it down_. _Did that make me a horrible person?_ Edward appeared for a second, a small hint of concern on his face.

"Hey Emb can we talk outside for a second." _Translation I need to tell you something I don't want any one else hearing_. He nodded in response to my thoughts. I followed him out and to the edge of the tree line.

"Listen, I thought you'd understand but there is something you haven't picked up on yet." I felt kind of insulted, was Edward calling me stupid? He shook his head fiercely.

"It's not that Embry, look, before you came around and became friends with Jasper he pretty much kept to himself, him and Alice anyway, sure he did things with us but, he's been so happy when you're around, he's not struggling so much not to suck human blood." Jasper had changed. I just assumed he was protective of me as he was of anyone else.

"No, not at all… you might not know this but after Arin took a cheap shot on you Jasper killed him in cold blood, that was before Carlisle got to tell him that Arin needed to die for our problem to be over." It all made sense, I had heard Jasper killed Arin. Out of all the Cullens I had to say I related with Jasper best, he didn't seem as sewn to Alice's side as Edward, but I could still tell he loved her more then anything. I looked up to Edward.

"Sorry, it's hard to see people in love when…" I drifted off and thought of her, the way the edges of her lips curled up when she smiled, her beautiful brown eyes, the feeling of her hair in my fingers. _She's gone Embry, and she's never coming back_. Edwards eyes softened.

"I'm sorry, we'll be gone soon." He said as if that would fix the problem, no once they left I'd probably leave La Push also, I'd probably just live as wolf, like Jacob did. _In the best case scenario I'd go with them_… "_Oh, Canada_._"_ I forced myself to start singing in my mind, it was far out of the question, they'd given me too much already… then my mind drifted there for a second to long then back to Canada's national anthem. Edward's eyes widened then he disappeared back to the house, apparently forgetting I was out here. I sighed and walked slowly back, I didn't want to interrupt but I wasn't going to wait out here like an idiot either. By the time I'd made it out to the porch Jasper was out to meet me.

"Emmett's already working on his bike, come on let's work on yours." I smiled, it was the first time Jasper had came out and said it was mine, I'd known and he knew but we both acted like the other hadn't.

In contrast to my car, which still hasn't left their garage, my bike was a relatively knew crotch rocket, most the pieces were together before being shipped here. Jasper's bike was neatly parked in the corner, he'd given up on the guise that he needed a bike because I knew he had one. Emmett's bike was also a crotch rocket, but he was just tweaking it, his came fully functional, he just liked to play around. Jasper lifted the bike and a rolled the wheel in to place.

"Embry, I've been thinking about this since… a month ago." Jasper was nice, he didn't even say _when that bitch left_. Or _When that horrible little fucker walked out_. _Hell he didn't even speak of her, just the date, knowing full well we didn't need any more reminders_.

"And Edward just brought it to my attention." He finished. I looked up at Emmett for a second. He nodded.

"Yes he knows." Jasper said without my needing to ask. I sighed, why did he need to ask if Edward had just picked the fact I was trying to hide out of my mind?

"Well, I was wondering if you would want to travel with my family when we move." I didn't respond at first reaching for the socket set for the tire.

"Didn't your family kind of already pick up three at this stop, don't you think four is pushing it?" _Sure, They expected Bella coming along, and when Renesmee was born she'd obviously come along, but Jacob too?_ Emmett laughed.

"Yeah we seem to be collecting them." Emmett said not looking up, Emmett never took anything too seriously, the more I got to know him the more I loved that fact about him.

"You didn't answer the question." Jasper said bringing my attention back to the question at hand. I sighed, I never got anywhere in life by lying anymore, might as well give him the whole truth.

"Honestly?" I asked.

"If you didn't give it to me honestly I'd just have Edward pull it out of your mind." He said smiling I reached down and threw a wrench across the short distance of the bike, he of course caught it. I sighed again, refocusing my thoughts.

"Honestly? I want to go with your family, you guys are the only family I've got. I can't go back to my pack, it's not right, everyone's imprinted, besides Seth and he's acting funny, I don't want to be around them, I can't take it, everything about here reminds me of her. I just need to get away." I said clutching a socket.

"You've got my vote." Emmett said from behind his bike.

"Thanks, that actually means a lot to me." I said truthfully.

"Do you need a handkerchief?" Jasper turned throwing the same wrench I threw at him at Emmett. Jasper's eyes turned to Emmett's. They were having a silent conversation, apparently the better part of half a century of time together could give you that ability.

"Embry, you never took your Corvette for a spin." I had to agree, we put it together two days after she had left, and I had never once started it, maybe it was time. Some where over the last month they had shipped it out and had a beautiful blue paint job done, with white stripes, _My god it looks amazing_. I thought climbing in the keys were in the ignition. I turned the car and it started the first click, the car's purr betrayed the true age of the engine. It was the newest model, I didn't mind though, I never wanted an insanely loud car that announced my arrival from three miles away, _farther if you were a vampire or werewolf_. I thought smiling. No this engine was much faster, and much less conspicuous just how I wanted it. I revved the engine once, indulging, then slowly accelerated out of the driveway and then I was gone.

* * *

I had pulled everyone together for this. We were all sitting around the table, as we were when we voted Bella in to our family, hopefully we'd vote another in now.

"As you already know, we're moving soon and I would like to bring Embry with us." There was silence, not that people didn't want to say anything, but they knew better then to speak.

"I've seen what he's going through and I can't leave him behind." I said firmly, I thought I made my point. Alice smiled next to me.

"I'd love nothing more then getting to spend more time with him." she said agreeing, Edward looked terribly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Jasper, but I need to air in the side on caution, what with our numbers already increasing." My anger flared.

"So I welcome your Bella in to the family, when I wanted to kill her when she knew our secret and now you callously push Embry to the side? Knowing full well he might kill himself?" Edward bit down on his lip trying not to show it.

"You DO know that don't you." I said trying to understand, I expected this from Rosalie, but not from Edward.

"Calm down, let's continue the vote." Carlisle said and I didn't continue, but I did continue to shoot glares at Edward every time he lifted his head to the table.

"I vote against it." Bella said. Before anyone could stop me I muttered about how the tables had turned. I shook my head at Bella not even trying to hide my disgust. Rosalie was next.

"I vote against, it's a danger to expose, I'd say no to Jacob too if I didn't already know he'd just follow us." I nodded I expected this. Emmett was next, he smiled and that made me feel better.

"Yeah I want him with us, he's fun." Emmett said giving the thumbs up. Esme was next her eyes turned to me.

"Jasper, I've seen what he's done to you, how he's helped you, how could I not love him like my own son." This was too close for my liking, it left it all to Carlisle but his vote was the most important anyway. His eyes turned to me and I could tell his answer.

"Jasper, I'm sorry, but I don't know, it seems like a very big risk, I'm not saying no right now, but I want to think about it." I was passionate about this one, I stood up a gesture not missed by any of my family.

"I'm not leaving without him, he needs us, and if he can't get us, he'll get me." I said before storming out of the house.

**Yes more is coming, Yes it will EVENTUALLY include she who cannot be named, yes I just made a Harry Potter reference, yes I hate Harry Potter, Yes, I am a Gemini, Yes I like pizza, Yes, this is getting annoying, yes, I like reviews, yes I also like rolls of twenty dollar bills**


	3. There are no Mathmatics for love and los

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight characters, well besides Arin Anen, but I kind of already killed him… ahh well Stephenie Meyer's characters are better anyway.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: So I'm writing the second chapter even though right now only one person has read the first chapter… epic fail!**

I wasn't speeding, I wasn't even paying attention really. My mind was simply drifting. I was on an old abandoned road, still paved well, just unused. I was so out of it I hadn't even noticed Emmett and Jasper running next to my car. Both my window were open, I wanted the wind in my face. I turned to see Emmett grin and Jasper frown in response, I didn't quite understand until there was a rather large vampire across my front seat and now on my lap.

"Hey Emb, just thought I'd drop in." Emmett said unwinding himself then crawling in to the back seat. Jasper sighed noticing I hadn't made any real choice to slow down. He ran next to my car, then unlocked it opened the door and stepped in. I laughed at the difference between their approaches. Jasper fastened his seatbelt, in a gesture to put me at ease, rather then protect himself. I smiled, it was like I was a teen again, only Emmett, and Jasper were my wingmen, not me being Jacobs. I forced a smile on to my face.

"What were you thinking about?" Emmett asked. Jasper turned his head back to him almost too fast for me to notice.

"Her." I said sighing. How long could I really keep playing these games? Acting like I was okay? I'll never be okay without her, but I'll be fine. _That's a little bit fucked up, even for your screwed head_. _Yeah, I know_. I thought in response to my own thoughts. _Speaking of screwed up, you should have screwed her when you had the chance_. _Yeah, I know_. _You're a dumb ass for expecting her to fall in love with you that way_. _Yeah, I know! _I said finally making a grunt of frustration. Jasper helped calm me down.

"I miss her." I finally said, was that the first time I'd actually admitted it? I couldn't tell.

"We can see that Emb." Emmett said, the more I learned about him the less I knew, he was so much more then just the strong intimidating Cullen brother. Jasper's phone started ringing. He looked down at it as if he didn't know if he should answer it or not. I nodded, _Was he really asking if he could answer his cell phone?_ I smiled.

"Yeah sure, We'll meet you at the nearest food place." Jasper continued, their going out to eat? Must mean he was talking to Jacob.

"Nah I'll just follow your B.O." Jasper answered laughing. _Yep, he was talking to Jacob_.

"We're meeting for lunch, somewhere, where ever his stench is." Jasper said. Emmett leaned forward.

"We put in a pretty nice sound system and you're not even listening to the radio. _Well there was a reason for that, all of my music reminded me of her, and when I listen to music everything is about love or breaking up_. I sighed might as well give it a try. I turned the knob.

"She broke my heart in the trailer park so I stole the keys to her ZEERIP'in car, and crashed that piece of ZRIP and walked away." I had to laugh, the song was so much better when it was beeped out. I turned the station.

"Cause nobody wants to be the last one there-" Turned the station again.

"On a Sunday morning sidewalk! I'm wishing lord that I was stoned! Cause there's something in a Sunday, that makes the body feel alone." I turned the station again getting frustrated.

"Tap on my window knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful." I switched the station again, I was getting pretty mad.

"Cold heart bitch!" I laughed, that sounded right, but I switched the station again.

"Why do you build me up? Build me up buttercup baby just to let me down, let me down, and mess me around-" switch.

"I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away, it's not fair to remind me-" I turned the station quickly.

"I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you, when you breathe I want to be the air for you, I'll be there for you!" I switched it angrily, nothing pissed me off more these days then Bon Jovi.

"I'm the one who wants to be with you, deep inside I hope you feel it too." I switched again.

"Lonely, I am so lonely. I have nobody for my own." My mouth opened, not even rap was sacred.

"All you need is love!" That moment is when Jasper reached for the radio and flipped it off.

"I think you've had enough." Jasper said sighing. Emmett was laughing rather hard in the back seat. _If it wasn't so painful you'd be laughing your ass off too_. I smiled at the irony, but isn't that how it always went? I knew where Jacob went to eat, he always went here. They didn't know that though. I stopped and waited, Jasper sniffed then nodded.

"Hey, how did you know?" I shrugged.

"Jacob always eats here." Emmett smiled.

"At least with Jasper and I here you guys won't look like you're eating too much."

A half hour later and who knows how many burgers eaten I looked up at Jacob asking the question I'd be wondering the whole time.

"Where's Nessie?" Jacob sipped at his pop.

"At home with his mom why?" I shrugged.

"Just wondering why you came out here to see us." By the look on Emmett's and Jasper's faces they had the same question.

"Wow, I'm that bad huh?" Jacob asked a bit offended. I nodded.

"Oddly enough Nessie wants me here, she said I need to spend more time with you, and since that's what she wants, I want it too." he said trying to make it less awkward. My mind followed a rather line of thought after that. _So when I start getting better, so he's only here as long as she wills it? Does that mean as soon as she thinks I'm okay he'll leave? Does that mean I'll go back to not meaning anything to him when she wants him back? _Emmett's eyes and Jasper's eyes met mine and they nodded. Jasper would take the hit for this one.

"Jacob, it's nice that Nessie is trying to help, but I don't think it's far for Embry when you'll just go back to spending every waking minute with her as soon as she says so." Jacob looked offended shaking his head.

"It's not like that." Emmett crossed his arms shaking his head.

"Yeah right, you need to spend every minute with her, if you're here it's because she wills it, and what about when she wants more of your attention?" I hadn't said anything, Jasper and Emmett made good wingmen.

"She wants me to have other friends, not just entertain them until she wants me back, she wants me all of the time, but she talked to me and told me she would like me to be there for Embry." _I guess I'm not here then, I guess they'll just talk over me_. I think I understood, Nessie didn't want the world to revolve around her, she wanted to help other people. The way Jacob said it however sounded more like he wanted to do this all along and Nessie simply let go of her grasp of him so he could. That seemed much more acceptable. I didn't know how to say that we should let him come with us, but I guess Jasper got my feelings because he turned to Emmett and nodded.

Jacob brought his bike to eat, so he rode back to house and Emmett and Jasper climbed in to my Corvette and we headed back. Instead of heading up to the house like we usually did we just made our way over to my bike. Jacob whistling, apparently he hadn't seen it in a while.

"Let's finish this so we can take them out riding tonight." I nodded as he sat near his bike, apparently parts had came in for his too, his could run, but not nearly as fast as the rest of ours would so he obviously needed to soup it up. All I really needed to do was check the fuel pump and finish putting the wheels on. My bike in contrast to my car had a custom paint job. The body was amazing.

"Where did you send this to get the custom paint job?" Jasper smiled obviously pleased.

"I did it myself actually." Jasper said proudly, the beauty of the red and black design didn't escape me. My eyes turned to Emmett's bike then Jacobs. _Wasn't Jacob's bike black?_ Now it had a beautiful navy blue tint to it. Jacob noticed my questioning look.

"Yes, he bought the parts for it as long as I let him try painting mine before yours. He did a good job." My eyes turned to Emmett's his was a dark green that seemed like it was meant to go with the body of his bike. Yes Jasper did Emmett's as well. My eyes turned to the bike in the corner, it was still silver but now it was darkened, in to more of a metallic silver color.

"Yours was the last one I did, I kind of worked up to it." _Worked up to it? All of these look like they were professionally done_. I rolled my eyes in anger. Jasper looked offended then my eyes turned to him apologizing before the words came out.

"Jasper it's amazing, I'm just frustrated, you Cullens seem to be good at absolutely everything you do." Emmett shrugged.

"I'm no good at Cribbage."

I couldn't believe I was already kicking my bike to life, Jasper grinned next to me on his, Jacob on my right and Emmett on the far left. We spread out down the nearly abandoned road outside of forks. Emmett was the first to show off, spun his legs and did a hand stand on the bike still steering. I responded by popping my front wheel, after all this was my first time riding. Jacob turned and rode side ways, nothing extremely crazy, that left Jasper. He smiled and leaned back in to a wheelie. Then dropped his index finger to the pavement and sparks started to fly, he continued to drag it there for the next minute.

_Like you said, Cullens are good at everything_. _Hey at least he's a bad cook_. I smiled thinking my last though. Jasper returned to riding normally then turned to me.

"What are you smiling about." I laughed a bit.

"Just thinking about the one thing you're not good at." Jasper raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, and what is that?"

"Cooking."

After the ride we caught supper, it was pretty late and I had no where else to be so the Cullens let me sleep on a bed that had been moved to an otherwise abandoned room. I woke up quickly realizing where I was. Fear overtook me. Jasper was at my side.

"What is it?" he asked obviously worried. I looked around.

"Well I just kind of feel weird, like I'm taking advantage of your family, like I shouldn't be." Esme was at her son's side.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're always welcome here." I returned her beaming smile.

"Thanks Esme, I just don't want to wear out my welcome, I don't know what I'd do without…" I trailed off. _What was I going to do when they left in the next months?_ Jasper came to my side.

"I'm here for you, if you need me I'll stay with you here." I was completely astonished.

"Jasper, I could never ask you to leave your family. You need to travel with them. I'll just need to leave Forks when you do." I felt pretty bad right now.

"There is no way you've worn out your welcome, Emmett actually wants to go running with you this morning."

"Really?" Jasper nodded

"He had to throw on as much weight as you're doing in his first run, but that isn't really fair since his muscles never get sore." Jasper responded dryly. I smiled Emmett will be Emmett.

* * *

Emmett didn't race me, he just ran by my side, he didn't seem labored by the fact he could run much faster, he seemed to enjoy doing something with only me, I didn't understand why I was so special, why not only Jasper and Alice liked me, (well the simplest way to Alice's heart was shopping) but Emmett too? Edward was waiting for us outside the house. He intercepted my thought

"Well, you don't smell like dinner to them so that always makes it easier." He said smiling, Emmett and I both stripped down our running clothes. Alice had insisted that I wear better clothes so I was wearing something she had bought for me to run in, since it was nicer then what I was wearing. As the day before started Bella, Jasper, and Alice were making breakfast for me, I never asked they always just did. All three turned around near the same time to hand me their food. Alice lit up when she saw I was wearing what she bought.

"Embry you look so good in that!" she cheered gleefully. I looked down at the pancakes that Jasper made, they looked nothing like the ones I had yesterday. I devoured everything and Alice came to my side, today not as jubilant.

"Which do you like more, Jasper's pancakes or my eggs?" I rolled my eyes, was this going to be an every day occurrence?

"They were both great." I replied then Edward appeared at Bella's side. Alice didn't even need to look up, he just answered. I had to admit I was kind of disappointed that now there was nothing I knew that Jasper wasn't good at.

"He liked Jasper's pancakes more." Alice pouted next to me, I sighed giving her a half hug. _Holy shit did you just hug a vampire on purpose? I think that's a first_. Edward chuckled to himself.

"He doesn't like the fact that now Jasper is good at everything, but he realized he just hugged a vampire for the first time." I glared at Edward. Alice brightened right up and hugged me back.

"Thanks Embry, you're still my favorite wolf!"

**Yes, I'm going to take my time and not rush Leah and Embry getting back together, in my opinion Embry needs to learn to live with out her before he's ready to be back with her again. Besides I really like where this is going with the Cullens. Give me comments, ideas, concerns, questions, high fives, and rolls of twenty dollar bills!**


	4. Home

**Disclaimer: So yeah I'm still not Stephenie Meyer but I've said that like this before, I think I've really hit rock bottom and I'm out of ways to say it**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I did not mean, to blow your mind! But that stuff happens to me all the time, yeah this chapter is going to be more focused on getting a couple things to happen, true the last chapter did need to occur because Embry needs to be very close to the Cullens.**

**This chapter takes place one month after the previous one (I don't like jumping ahead by like six years and then everything works out, it kind of cheapens the pain if we don't experience it. :-p)**

Jasper's POV

A month earlier we were gathered around the table in an unsuccessful effort to agree on Embry joining us when we leave next month, now we're arguing over where we will move. This argument is not nearly as hostile as the first. It is comical that they didn't believe I was serious when I said I'm not going without Embry. Alice told me later that she would have stayed with me if it was some hair brained escapade but she really agreed with me and was going to stay with me because she didn't want to leave Embry behind. He thought she just liked him because he let her shop for him. He could be foolish at times. He was my brother, and I couldn't leave him, neither could Alice.

It'd be hard for me to leave him behind if he was happy, He wasn't happy now, he just ignored his problems while we were around. If we all leave him it'll be murder, he'll need to look himself in the mirror and find something deep in there worth living for, I see it, Alice, Emmett, and Jacob see it, but does he? I've seen the way his pain shows as soon as some one mentions her. I've managed to only mention the date. He thinks he owes us so much, but I couldn't ask for a better friend, brother, mentor.

Why mentor? Well he takes the biggest challenge and does it without ripping everyone else down with him, something I tried to do but failed, he's a thinker, and being around him makes it easier not to feed on humans. Money is just an object, what he's given me is so much more important.

I must have missed everyone else's vote, Carlisle's eyes turned to me.

"Jasper you have the last vote." I was really wrapped in thought. I missed everything, who voted where.

"What are we looking at?" Rosalie rolled her eyes but Carlisle was calm.

"We're either going to Montana, or Minnesota."

What the fuck did it really matter? Who gives a shit where we go, we're still abandoning a friend, well I wasn't. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

"Right now it's four to three in favor of Minnesota." I didn't need to ask where Alice's vote was, her vote would be the Mall of America. Edward chuckled from across the table.

"Whatever, Minnesota." Did I really care? I wasn't going with them. Edward winced. My eyes turned to his and I glared. _Your fault ass hole, you and your 'Bellapoo' as Emmett calls her made this happen_. Edward glared again.

"Fine lets just say it out loud, what the hell is your problem with Embry? Is it honestly that he resents Bella?"

"Do you really think going with us will fix all his problems?" Edward finally said.

"It'll help a lot more the kicking him to the curb." Edward rolled his eyes.

"He's not our family to kick to the curb." I stood up and glared at him.

"He is mine!" Edward stood up slowly not intimidated.

"What are you trying to prove?"

"You can read my mind; if I had a hidden agenda you'd know it." Every second elapsed and no one calmed down, it didn't help when I was the one that was causing this situation, not fixing it.

"I'm going for a ride." I said turning and walking away, Alice didn't follow me knowing I just wanted to be alone.

Edward's POV

Jasper had just stormed off but I would take care of the business I needed to. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the Clearwaters.

"Hey, Sue here." I cringed internally, she wouldn't like talking to me any more then she needed to.

"Hey it's Edward Cullen, could you please get Seth on the phone?" She put the phone down saying something about how glad she'd be when the bloodsuckers were gone. She called up to Seth to get the phone I heard him running down the stairs, I of course didn't need good hearing to pick that up but I did.

"Edward?" he asked not sure, I suppose it made sense I'd never called for him before.

"Hey Seth, can I meet you I have some details to tell you."

We met in forks, it'd been a while since I'd walked around here. I saw him coming from a distance, had he gotten bigger?

"Hey Seth, how is everything?" He shrugged nonchalantly. I looked over his thoughts but something was off, so I thought I'd start questions.

"You haven't been out to our house since Leah left have you?" his thoughts flickered to Leah then away. Obviously he wasn't okay. I might as well tell him what I needed and leave, he didn't seem to want to talk to me.

"Well we should be leaving in the next month." He seemed disappointed but he was protecting his thoughts.

"We're moving to Minnesota." _Minnesota? But that's where Leah… _My eyes shot to his and his thought switched back to females in his grade. I grabbed both his shoulders. I looked him in the eyes.

"Where is Leah?" he slipped up thinking about how she'd given him a note and a phone number saying she'd gone to Minnesota. Seth's eyes turned to me as if begging for forgiveness.

"Is this why you haven't come by?" Seth nodded gulping.

"And why you won't talk to Embry?" Seth nodded again. _This definitely changed the situation_. _I can't vote against him coming now, it'd be cruel, besides I want him to fix his problem not run away from it, I wanted him to chase Leah down, I've read his thoughts, he keeps saying "Ten minutes late" as if it is some sort of refrain_. I had to think, Embry, Jacob and Renesmee would be returning tonight, I needed to get this information to everyone, making sure every one knows not to tell Embry, or Jacob. Jacob can't keep a secret from Nessie, and that could lead to complications. I started running back to my house at a vampire speed. I opened my phone and dialed Jasper. He picked up scowling.

"What is it Edward?" he was still on his bike.

"I'm changing my vote come home now."

Jasper's POV

Did Edward just say he was changing his vote? I was still going well over one hundred miles an hour. I smiled planting my left leg on the ground and spinning the bike in the air to face the opposite direction. I smiled pulling in to a wheelie, going one twenty. My mind drifted to what could have changed his mind so quickly, sure for most people it wouldn't be smart to let your mind drift doing a wheelie at a hundred twenty miles an hour but not for me. I turned on to the road near our house and let the bike coast. It rolled in to the garage and I stopped. I turned the key of, wiping off the body of the bike before returning to the house.

Everyone looked as confused as I was, besides Alice who was beaming. She apparently knew what was going on but wasn't going to tell me. Every one sat down, Bella wrapping her arm around Edward.

"I learned where Leah Clearwater is." I didn't understand how did he learn that in about thirty minutes?

"When I went to Seth I told him we were moving to Minnesota, His mind moved to Leah, too quickly, I asked him where Leah went, his mind replayed her leaving him a note to give Embry, she's in Minnesota, I think we need to bring Embry along." Bella nodded next to him.

"That does change my vote." Carlisle confirmed, Bella spoke out in agreement.

"I don't think we should tell Embry, Jacob, or Renesmee, and while we're there we should try to find her ourselves." I nodded in agreement Rosalie groaned.

"Since when is this mutt's mating problems our own? Has any one else noticed we're bringing too many people to be inconspicuous?" Carlisle was usually well tempered but he seemed a bit flustered.

"Well we'd be less conspicuous if our 'children' weren't going out at school." I smiled, truly Rosalie and Emmett didn't try to hide the fact they were going out, it didn't make it easier, it was something we'd all learned to deal with.

"I just want it to be known I was against this." Rosalie said defending herself.

"Yes we know you're against anything that isn't revolving around you." I responded my voice was acidic. Edward smiled apparently he agreed.

Embry's POV

"Race back to the house, and this time no taking it easy on me Embry!" Nessie said almost glaring at me. I smiled.

"Does that mean Jake needs to try his hardest too?" Nessie nodded. _Good, I wanted to see if my running in the morning would affect my running in form_.

"Jake, you better run your best, cause I want to beat you fair and square." Jacob rolled his eyes, laughing. We both knew he was the second fasting in the old back, but I think it was time for me to overtake him. I walked behind a tree tying my clothes to my ankle and phased. Jacob was next to me grinning as much as a wolf could.

_"Ready to get your butt kicked?" I rolled my eyes_.

_"Damn you're whipped you can't even swear anymore?"_ Nessie giggled next to us, this quickly changed from a race between Nessie and Jacob to a race between Jacob and I. Nessie ran out in front of us and counted down.

"Ready? Set. Go!" she screamed. I dug and pushed forward. My body was still sore from this mornings run but obviously much stronger then it was before I started running every morning. I didn't look to my side, I didn't look for Jacob, I just pushed myself harder. I dug my paws in to the ground as much as I could. My legs aching the house was in sight I stopped at our unofficial end point in front of the porch, looking around for Jacob, did he really beat me here by that much, then I heard him coming from the distance, _No way, I was that fast?_ I grinned, it was paying off. Jacob panted and joined my side. Nessie came last and launched herself at me, my first reaction was to defend myself but that was silly. She caught her arm on my shoulder and tucked herself in between my shoulder blades. I pushed my shoulder blades together and she jumped off me flipping and landing on her feet. She turned around and smiled.

"Uncle Embry, you're fast, you're much faster then Jacob!" I grinned still a wolf, as fun as this was, I'd rather be human, I couldn't step in to the House of Cullen for supper. I ran away to edge of the woods.

_"Holy shit Embry was fast, I swear he was faster then… Oh Canada, my home and native land!" _ I chuckled in my wolf form.

_"Thanks Jacob_._" _I thought before phasing back to my human form. I laughed to myself as a put my clothes back on, yeah Jacob picked up Oh, Canada from me. I walked a bit slower back to the house. I was a bit sore from pushing myself too hard twice in one day, I really needed to pass out on a couch. Carlisle met me at the door. Every one else was inside, Jacob and Nessie included.

"Embry I was wondering if you would like to live us when we move." _Are you fucking kidding me? Did he just offer that?_

"Yes sir." I responded, was this really happening.

"Yes, well, it came to our attention that being that we all look similar, besides him, We decided that you could play the part of Jacob's brother." I smirked, it shouldn't be too hard, I was his brother.

"Is something funny about that?" Carlisle asked looking slightly perplexed.

"Oh, I guess you never heard, Jacob is my half brother." Carlisle sighed.

"So the part won't be too much for you?" I smiled shaking my head.

"No of course not, thank you so very much." Carlisle smiled in response.

"There are some things you need to understand about our family before you come with us…" Carlisle spent the better part of the rest of the afternoon explaining to me the ways his family tries to avert attention. In the end it was all just small things, I was part of their family now.

**Don't worry, She who will not be named will make it back in to my story… eventually MUAHAHAHAHA**


	5. Still haven't found what i'm looking for

**Disclaimer: - doesn't know if he's a kingpin or a pauper, but either way he's not Stephenie Meyer, and he doesn't own twilight, hmm maybe I need to make more characters before I kill ones I made.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Hey if you're wondering why this story is rated M and the last was rated T, it's because Embry is very explicit in his thoughts… when he's angry.**

Embry's POV

I had managed to fit everything that held real meaning to me in to four large boxes, those were separate of all the clothes Alice bought me, she wanted to donate them since we were moving but I was stern on this one. No I wasn't that wasteful, I hadn't even worn everything yet, some of it I was saving for a special occasion that might never come. I was stuffing pictures in to my last box but stopped at two.

One was a month before all this phasing started, we were at the Clearwater's. All of the teenagers who now call themselves werewolves, we were so much smaller, so much happier, like the weight of the world wasn't on our shoulders, do I regret becoming a werewolf? _No, not for a second_, the responsibility might be heavy, but the pride of being a protector of the tribe outweighed that. _She was with Sam in this picture, they looked happy, like nothing could go wrong_. Yeah I believed that once, then she walked out on me, I could have died, and she wouldn't have been at my funeral. _Bitch_, I smiled finally agreeing with my argumentative side.

My eyes turned to the second picture, it was framed, even though it was only three months later it couldn't have been a similar picture, Sam had his arms wrapped around Emily, I clenched my teeth and my arms flexed, she was alone, I was the only one even remotely close to her, on the outside of Jacob and Quil. _Stop feeling sorry for the bitch, she fucking left you for dead_. _She did not, I fucking hate her but I know she didn't leave me to die_. I looked at the very least three years older in the second picture, ripped through and through. I placed the picture on the top of the third lifting the first two under either of my arms. There was a knock on my room door. _No one knocks to my room_. I thought then answered.

"Come in." Sam opened the door I didn't hate him, I didn't like what he did to his ex. It wasn't about her now, and that bitch left me so how can I be mad at him for doing that to her, how can I still defend her? _I don't know but you still do_. I sighed.

"I really wish you'd reconsider and stay in La Push, join the pack again." I shrugged.

"Your family is here, this is where you belong." I rolled my eyes I dropped both boxes and stared him in the eye, a feat I couldn't do before I'd claimed my birthright to Alpha.

"My family died when everyone imprinted." I said evenly not letting the ice fade through. Sam shook his head.

"No we're all still here for you." I laughed out right at that statement.

"No you aren't, no one is, Jacob barely is and I live with him." Sam was uncomfortable that Jacob was leaving too but he had a better chance of stopping me, I didn't have an imprint.

"If home is where the heart is, then my home is where she is." I said Sam didn't need any more explanation. He thought it was silly I couldn't say her name, and truly from the outside it was messed up, but it didn't make it any less painful.

"Listen Sam, the Cullen's have been there for me, and they are my family, the pack died, as every person imprinted people stopped caring about the pack and more about their three year old.

"I lost my friends the second they imprinted, I'm not important to them anymore because they've got their soul mate, well fuck soul mates, I'd rather fall in love then fucking be a slave, and if I get hurt by her, oh well, but here's something I never told you. I was about to ask her out when you did, you fucked up my life, not the Cullens changing me in to a wolf, YOU DID, so don't try to go fucking blaming everything on them and saying it's good, cause now that you get your perfect happily ever after and everyone else does I need to run away with the _"Enemy"_ cause their the only family I got, I didn't want my good bye to be like this but you've forced my hand." I was angry, very angry.

"And you know what else? I'm mad that she was so in love with you she got hurt when you left her, but then she left me, I'll always know who she really loved." Sam crossed his arms.

"Say her name." I shook my head.

"Get out, you had everything I ever wanted, and threw it away like it was nothing." Sam was hurt by that last comment. He didn't like how I was talking to him, well too fucking bad I was the alpha between us.

"Say her name." he continued, I couldn't say her name I couldn't hear her name.

"Le-" I put my hand over his mouth before it got out.

"If you really want a fight with me, follow me to where we're going, or I'll kick your ass in human form right here, but with respect to my mother I'd hope you saved it." Sam didn't say another word.

"I'm leaving, you can't stop me. No one can, anyone who could have already left me." Sam was going to say her name again but I cut him off.

"Quil died when he first saw Claire, Jacob working his way back to being him, because Nessie wants him to be." I lifted a box in either arm, a feat I couldn't do before I was a werewolf.

"You can't run from this forever." Sam called thinking he was smart. I walked out the door set the boxes on the porch and returned to Sam.

"She seems to think she can, besides, staying with you guys isn't going to help at all." Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" _Did he really need me to explain how he never was there for me?_

"Did you come visit me after she left? Did you invite me over to talk to me? Did you even try? No I don't know what the fuck your problem is but you were too busy with Emily to care about me."

"She might be pregnant!" Sam said as if trying to defend himself. _That was news I didn't know_.

"And I might have been dead!" Sam's face changed from confused to horror.

"Yes that's right, I've been in a hell hole, and I considered it, but you know who stopped me? It wasn't you, it wasn't Quil, it sure as hell wasn't Paul or Jared, Seth made it worse, Colin and Brady don't even know me, so if I would have died it would have been 'we never saw the signs, because we were way to fucking wrapped around our snuggly bunnies' No Sam, I used to respect you, I used to look up to you, you were imprinted before, but at least you put the pack first, but when I needed you, you weren't there. Jasper was." I finished, I didn't plan on being this harsh, I picked up the last box. I guess I'd really hurt Sam because he was looking away. I dropped the box and grabbed his shoulders.

"Listen, I always looked up to you, I still do, a little. Maybe when Jacob and I come back for thanksgiving we can all do something, as a pack, no imprints, go on a run, something." It might have sounded cheesy but it was real. I was serious. Sam's eyes turned back to me.

"Yeah, we should do that." I smiled.

"We could host our own hot dog eating contest." Sam laughed. For a second, if only a second it was like we were the same pack again. What happened next was somewhat awkward he pulled me towards him and I gripped him in a hug.

"I never said this, but I always felt like you should be leading the pack, not me, I never said anything because Jacob was the Alpha I guess I never figured out that it was you." I smiled grabbing the box.

"You know what'd be great?" Sam's eyes glistened with a little bit of hope.

"If you'd come to the Cullen's to say goodbye to me properly." Sam let a small grunt escape his throat.

"Why can't you have it at La Push?" I shrugged

"The Cullen's are my family now, if you can't accept my family I guess I can't accept you." I made my way down the stairs, Sam behind me. Quil was waiting outside with both my boxes under his arms. Sam put his arms out and Quil handed him one.

"Well let's roll." I said grinning. I turned to the Garage where I had put my corvette. Neither Quil nor Sam knew about it.

"Hey I'll see you at Cullens." Sam said as he put the box down next to the garage. He turned and ran away, guess he'd not see my car. the garage door started opening and a 'Holy shit!' Escaped Quil's lips. I smiled again putting my box in the backseat. Quil's mouth was still open, I grabbed his box and placed it in the back seat. I ran back for the box Sam had as Quil finally composed himself.

"This is yours?" I nodded setting the last box in the back.

"Yeah want a ride?" Quil's eyes rolled.

"No, I just want to watch you drive away."

* * *

There was only one moving truck left, and it seemed to just have enough room for my three boxes in it. The going away party had already started, Sam had worked fast, every member of his pack was here, even the young ones I didn't know by name. Hugs ensued and I faked plenty of smiles. I got to Emily and she ran up and hugged me, crying.

"I hope you find what you're looking for." I smiled.

"I hope I find your cousin too." I whispered. Paul and Jared both looked extremely awkward, but at the very least Paul had to be cordial because Jacob was leaving. I saw Jacob hug his older sister.

"Hey we're going to be back for thanksgiving I promise!" He said releasing him from his grasp. Billy rolled up to me and gave my hand a quick shake, I reached down and hugged him, wanting to make a sarcastic comment about him being my dad but I stopped myself. I turned to Sam and grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Thanks for getting the pack together." I said, but he didn't let go.

"They all wanted to be here to see you both leave."

"We're that bad huh? You need proof now?" Sam chuckled as he backing up. Seth was the last one for me to say goodbye to. I didn't understand why he was so nervous. I didn't know what to say so I didn't, I just gave him a quick hug.

"Goodbye Seth, I hope she comes back some day too." Something registered in his eye, something I wasn't suppose to see. I didn't understand it. Out of no where a cold hand hit my shoulder.

"Come on Embry, it's time to put some miles on your car." The wolves weren't all comfortable with our proximity to each other but what did they expect, they'd keep a five foot distance from us as all times, yeah that's probably exactly what they expected. Jacob climbed in to the silver Volvo with Nessie, Edward and Bella. apparently the rest of the Vampires left a couple of hours ago, Jasper said he wanted to ride with me so we could keep driving the whole night, but it was going to be a great chance just to talk and shoot the breeze. My mother appeared, I really didn't expect her to, I had said goodbye in the morning before she left for work, but there she was. Jasper released his arm from my shoulder and said.

"Hey, I'll be waiting in the car, take your time." I nodded. My mother walked up to me slightly awkward at first then she just hugged me.

"I love you Emb, take care of yourself."

"I know mom, I told you I'd write, I promise I will." She nodded I felt a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I love you too." she smiled letting go.

"I know this is what's best for you, goodbye Embry."

"Bye mom." I said before turning to my car and sliding in to the driver's seat. I turned the key and revved the engine just once for the viewing audience, the guys all made noises of appreciation but the females next to them simply rolled their eyes.

I'd never left the state, I'd barely gone farther then Forks, but as my childhood home disappeared behind me I looked forward to a life where I could fix my own problems. Maybe Minnesota would be better for me, maybe I could finally forget about her there.

**Yeah so Embry is going to be at MN in the next chapter. I'm getting back in to my groove of writing waaay to freakin' much, hope you like it, remember to give me all your high fives, comments, IDEA'S (if an original idea by you makes it in to my story I will properly give credit), questions, and of course, rolls of twenty dollar bills.**


	6. Distractions

**Disclaimer: And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if you will always need to know I'm not Stephenie Meyer, if you know I don't own twilight (no don't try to sing that, it won't work)**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Eventually she who cannot be named (I hate Harry Potter) and Embry will meet again, I've already wrote the chapter, just taking my time in to it. **

Embry's POV

Some things didn't change. Every morning when I woke up I went for a run, and every time Emmett joined me. Usually we didn't talk too much but today seemed different.

"Embry, have you ever considered learning an instrument?" Emmett asked it was an odd question but I answered it.

"When I was a kid I wanted to play the drums but my mom didn't have the money to buy a drum set, hah I just used my hands and feet, why do you ask?" Emmett shrugged. Our run was near the end and I wondered why Emmett had asked.

"Well everyone knows Edward is an amazing piano player." I rolled my eyes. Yes everyone knew that.

"I just think it's funny since Jasper is a guitar player, and I always wanted to learn Bass guitar." I didn't know where this was headed, but in a second I figured this out.

"This is going to end with you guys buying me a drum set far too nice for me isn't it?" Emmett nodded smiling.

"Think of it as part of your therapy." _If they put everything they've bought for me since she left and put it in the therapy fund it'd be nearly as much as a house_.

"Let's see, the car." Emmett shook his head.

"No that doesn't count in the fund." I rolled my eyes, of course it wouldn't.

"Fine then, the bike, the work out clothes?" he nodded.

"And the drum set, Edward is ordering it right now, he can read my mind from this distance." I sighed, I don't think I'd ever get used to the Cullen's generosity but I stopped fighting it after my talk with Edward, they didn't think they could ever pay me back for Jasper, I would have done it all for free. My thoughts turned back to Jasper playing guitar.

"He plays acoustic doesn't he?" Emmett nodded, following my thoughts. _That is so much like Jasper_. I smiled. Jasper never told me he played guitar, but like everything else he must be amazing at it. We were on the home stretch, I could see the house in the distance. I was going to try and push myself harder then I realized I'd been sprinting the whole time.

We ended at the house and I continued walking, knowing it was bad to stop flat out. I made my way up to the shower to clean up but Emmett went straight to the main room where Bella and Edward were playing with Nessie, more likely then not plotting to make a recording studio out of an abandoned building, or just making one from the ground up. I stopped minding so much, I had become part of the family, I'd need to get used to it, soon as we were out of Washington Jasper had handed me a credit card saying that it was mine to use as I see fit. _That was interesting. I really went hog wild, I bought a winter coat without looking at the price tag, it turned out to be fifty bucks, but I wouldn't have known that, no I was wasting money!_ I laughed to myself and I stretched in the large shower. I took my time, longer then usual. I felt like I was wasting time and when I stepped out all of seven minutes had elapsed. I found this nice of a shower a bit of overkill since none of the vampires need to shower, they never sweat, never produced heat, and rarely got dirty. I stepped out wrapping a towel around my waist. I moved toward the room that had been given to me, for the time being Jasper and Alice didn't have a room. The two of them had been designing the room, rather Alice had been designing it and Emmett and Jasper had been putting building it. It was going to be off the north side of the house. For the time being their belongings were in the basement. I had once wondered why they couldn't take the basement, or me. Edward answered me it wasn't big enough for Alice, and she thought you should have a nice sized room. I figured what that really meant was Alice wanted to decorate, design and such, Edward nodded smiling, yes I was beginning to understand Alice. I was changing in to clothing Alice had picked for me , I had started doing weight lifting a month or two ago as a joke and Carlisle had invested in weights that were way to heavy for normal humans. _Add that to the therapy fund_. I thought after finishing up lifting for the morning. I made my way down stairs and found the basement had a sign on it,

"_Embry keep out or endure my wraith, Love Alice_." I had to smile at the sign, she's the only one I knew who could pull off that kind of line. _Her and she who can not be named_. My heart panged for a moment then I recovered, _When are you going to deal with the pain? When are you going to actually face the fact that she left you and you have to move on? I don't know, but I'm not ready yet! It's been three months Embry, it's kind of fucking pathetic_._ But I loved her! Loved? Ha yeah right if she was right here right now you'd be begging for her forgiveness and you did nothing wrong, no you still love her_. _Yeah I know_. I thought losing another mental battle with myself. We still had over a months time until school started, I had learned that Dr. Cullen and talked to the principle and made a deal that we went to school and we took off when ever we wanted to for hiking and such, as this seemed highly irregular Dr. Cullen donated a substantial amount of money to the school for them to agree to these terms, as long as our grades stayed at B's or better. This wouldn't have been a problem besides Jacob and I, who weren't nearly as book smart as the rest of the Cullens, Carlisle assured us they'd help us. The high school was more then willing to agree to that, Private schools were strapped for cash, and I was told it wasn't that different from the public schools just smaller classes.

The plan to live in northern Minnesota was changed when they realized it would take money to bribe their way out of school over half the time, and for that you needed a poor private school. Enter Central High School of St. Cloud. The Central Sentinels that was a tongue twister. I smiled at the thought of Carlisle bribing the school. I don't know how much Carlisle paid them, but it must have been hefty. Jasper knocked on the side of the wall before entering not waiting for my response.

"Hey, let's go get you some drum sticks." He said grinning. I rolled my eyes. It didn't even surprise me.

"You're pulling me away so they can sneak a drum set in to the basement, aren't you?" Jasper shrugged at the door.

"Hey you can come of your own free will or Emmett and I can drag you." at least he was polite enough to say it would take two vampires. I followed behind Jasper my head down hands in front of me as if I was chained to him. Alice intercepted me and stood right in front of me, her face only a foot from mine.

"Now you go out and enjoy buying those sticks or I'll force make up on you when you get home." I smiled, she was really trying.

"Warden there is a pixie in the way." Jasper turned back as if giving a tug on my invisible chains. I tripped forward around Alice.

"And don't bring him back any time soon!" Alice called at Jasper as we made our way to the garage.

"Hey let's stop at that drum shop, for the sticks, I heard they have a whole wall full of them." Emmett suggested. I rolled my eyes.

"And I need to pick one pair out of all of them?" I asked as Emmett laughed jumping in the driver's door of his Jeep.

"No, we could buy ever pair if you'd like." I rolled my eyes climbing in shot gun. Jasper jumped in to the back and buckled his seat beat. Emmett and I both raised an eyebrow when we saw that.

"Hey you can get pulled over for not wearing a seat belt here, I read it somewhere." I turned around and buckled my seat belt, he would know that. Emmett buckled his as if it was a horrible task.

Emmett wasn't exaggerating, one of the walls was literally just drum sticks, how could I decide, what was the implicit difference between a Vic Firth 2b marching stick, and a Vic Firth 2b drum set stick? I was at a lost, Emmett and Jasper stood back and snickered. The man, probably in his late forties late fifties stood next to me. He must have seen that I was a deer in headlights. As I asked questions he answered as many as I could think of, apparently size changed the sound, and of course there was the feel of the drum stick in your hand, and how important that was. I obviously was jumping in to a pool before I had learned how to swim.

After about five minutes of discussion bought two pair of Hornets, because I liked the feel, a pair of brushes for soft sound, and a stick bag to hold the sticks. I paid for it all with my card, it felt better then letting them buy everything for me, but at the same time I was still buying it with their money wasn't I? I tried not to think of it. It was exciting to be learning how to drum. I climbed in to the Jeep expecting to head back home but Emmett was grinning,

"Well I don't own a Bass Guitar either, so I guess we'll take a road trip down to Maple Grove, I heard there's a Guitar Center down there." I groaned I guess this was always part of their plan. The day was cloudy, why not spend it outside?

The Jeep wasn't as fast as other Cullen cars but one hundred miles per hour wasn't beyond it. I was trying to familiarize myself with Minnesota. I'd be here for the next four or so years. I watched the street signs and I flinched. _You have got to be fucking kidding me?_ Jasper noticed my reaction and calmed me down, he didn't understand until we passed the water tower, plastered on the side was "Clearwater" _Of all the damn luck, there is a Clearwater Minnesota?_ Emmett laughed at my side.

"Wow, fate kind of hates you like that don't it?" I rolled my eyes.

"Must have spent too much time with her." I said trying to keep it casual. Jasper seemed a bit uneasy, as if some how he should have avoided this road, it was the freeway, going any other way would have been ridiculous just to avoid a town? _Jasper would try and blame it on himself_.

"Jasper, relax, I'm okay, it's just a town." He seemed to force himself to relax behind me.

"Come on how many times do we get to go and waste time all day?" Emmett laughed.

"Every day." Jasper answered.

The guitar center was a bit of false advertising, sure they had guitars, and many of them, but it wasn't even half of their store, they had amps, and drum sets, and any other thing a band would need. Emmett took his time picking out a bass guitar, I thought he knew what he wanted before he came in, but he just wanted to drag it out. He settled on a five string bass guitar, it wasn't the most expensive model, but it had a bulky feel to it.

I couldn't help myself from thinking about her, it wasn't the town, it was just that I felt helpless. No matter how many distractions there were did they really believe I could distract myself until I didn't miss her anymore? Some of them might have, but not Jasper. He knew something he hadn't told me, the way he saw a little sliver of hope in his eye, not real hope, but the chance that it might work out. Jasper was next to me calming me down, he put his cold hand on my sleeve, I found that more comforting. I turned and hugged him. He stood awkwardly for a moment then returned it.

_It was the first time I'd ever hugged him_. He understood though, he smiled back at me. This was the time most people said _'Everything will work out_._" Or "If you're meant to be together it will happen_._" _I never believed lines of bull shit like that, people fought, and pride got in the way, it didn't matter if they were _meant to be_ it could still not work out in the end. He just smiled, instead of those lines I'd never believe anyway he settled on something true.

"What ever happens, I'm going to be here with you through it." I forced a smile, more of a habit now then anything.

After lunch we got back in the Jeep and headed north, back home. We lived outside of St. Cloud in a wooded area, with a driveway leading away from the road, very much like their home near Forks, this place was similar. We hadn't been here long but since we settled in I felt like an arm was pulling me north, something was calling me.

Once we returned there was a new sign on the door reading.

"No boys allowed, go do something for the next couple hours or risk our wraith, with Love, Rosalie, Alice" Emmett looked at the note and laughed, Jasper smiled next to him.

"Rosalie is in on this too now?" I asked and Jasper shrugged.

"And apparently we're not in on this anymore." Emmett said laughing. The door opened and closed before I'd noticed and Rosalie was in front of us.

"Drop your instruments and get out of here." I slowly put my sticks on the ground as if they were a weapon, and backed up with my hands up in a retreating fashion. Rosalie smiled at me.

"That's right wolfy, you too Emmett." Emmett put his new bass guitar down and backed up. Jasper was still looking Rosalie in the eye. She raised her eyebrow to him.

"Alice will deal with you herself if you don't back up." I heard a muffled from the basement and Jasper laughed backing up. Rosalie disappeared behind the door. I didn't know what we were going to do for the rest of the day.

"There is this place that boasts of being "the man's mall" Emmett quoted. They were quick on their feet.

"Let's check it out, what's it called?" Jasper's eyes turned to me and I shrugged, why would I know?

"Mills Fleet."

It was everything it claimed at more. I thought walking in to it. the employees dressed in blaze orange, a color I assumed got annoying to put on every day but they'd never complain. It had any hunting gear we'd need. I was staring at the paint ball guns, they were amazing. The person dressed in orange and a vest asked if I wanted something, I shook my head.

"No thanks just looking." Emmett was at my shoulder.

"Looks cool you should buy one." I rolled my eyes.

"What's the point, I couldn't hit you with one, you'd just move out of the way." Emmett laughed. He had a box of paintballs under his arm, Jasper had one too. both walking up to the counter and placing them on it.

"I didn't know you had any paint ball guns." I noted, it wouldn't be a surprise though. Emmett shrugged.

"We don't, you should buy a gun though." My eyes met Jasper's for a second and he smiled. _You just throw paint balls at each other? I suppose that made sense, they could do that couldn't they? I wonder if I could throw one that fast, well I probably couldn't throw enough of them_. I looked down at the gun, it looked pretty standard. I couldn't hit them with it, why would I buy it? I turned to walk away and Jasper groaned.

"I'd like to buy this gun here, and can I get an eighteen inch barrel with that?" I just kept walking, I didn't know where I was going, maybe I'd hide from them. Jasper was at my side, grinning.

"Did you really think you could hide from me? I just had to follow your stench!" I was slightly offended.

"I thought it didn't bother you anymore?" Jasper smiled.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it disappeared." Emmett was next to him a second later.

"Really, did you think you could get away from us?" I sighed in defeat.

"There are some things we need to pick up at the girls mall." I flinched. I turned and Jasper shot Emmett a look.

"Don't scare him like that." Emmett laughed.

"I figured if this was the man's mall the normal mall would be the girls mall." I shrugged, I guess that made sense, why was I worried? It's not like they were going to take me shopping for lingerie.

The crossroads mall was much larger then any I'd ever been in, it had more then ten stores, it was way too much, interestingly enough what we were looking for was in a kiosk. I didn't know why we were here.

"Hey I need a cell phone." Emmett said to the sales person behind the desk. I was a bit confused, he had a cell phone why did he need a second one.

"Yes I'd like a nice flip phone, but no key pad." He said turning to look at me, or rather to look at my hands. _Yeah, he's buying me a cell phone_. I sighed, I'd given up fighting them, and really it made sense to own a cell phone before the drum set I was pretty sure was already in the basement. He handed Emmett the cell phone and Emmett opened it, typing numbers in quickly. Almost too fast to be considered normal, after about three minutes of this he flicked the phone up and snapped a picture of a very unsuspecting me. He handed the phone over to me. I opened it and he'd already put in all the Cullen's Cell phone numbers. That made sense I suppose. My phone buzzed in my hand as I was closing it and I reopened it, there was a text message.

"You look funny because it's like you've never seen a phone before." It was from Emmett. I rolled my eyes looking up at him.

I flipped my phone shut and placed it in my pocket. I had had enough public humiliation for the day. Jasper buzzed and he flipped his phone out.

"Yeah, okay, we'll get him one." That's all I heard but I was pretty sure it entailed buying another piece of something I didn't really need, and I'd abhor having. I was right of course, they didn't even ask me anymore, Jasper just grabbed an ipod off the shelf and bought it at the counter. He tossed the package to me before walking out of target. There is another thing I don't quite need, but now I have, courtesy of the Cullens. _Was all of this simply to distract me from her? Had they been throwing away that much money just to make me forget her? No, Jasper knows better_. Alice called to tell us we needed to get home soon, cloud cover would be disappearing, I wondered if it was always like this. _Would they just be having a fine day and then Alice would say_

_"Twenty minutes the sun is coming out, we better get inside_._" _I thought it was funny anyway. We were back at the Cullens before the sun came out again. This time Rosalie and Alice were standing in front of the door grinning.

"Your recording studio awaits." My jaw did drop, I'd never played drum set before and I had my own recording studio. I noticed Emmett's bass guitar wasn't where it was before. And my sticks had disappeared. Emmett pushed me forward down the stairs to take a look, it was amazing, the whole room had been sound proofed, which I thought was silly since the vampires could obviously hear from the outside. Across from the entrance to the basement was a drum set, had to assume was mine. It was a beautiful blue color, almost matching my car, a pearl drum set with Sabian cymbals. I didn't even know what most of them were called. I made my way around the drum seeing three foot peddles, two connected to the bass drum with two beaters, and one on the high hat.

There was so much to see I didn't know where to look. Jasper walked to the side and picked up an acoustic guitar. It looked old, but their was a brand new one next to it that was black. Apparently that was new to Jasper, still he took the one that looked twenty years older. He sat on a small chair and started playing with his head down, he was playing stairway to heaven. I laughed, that would be something Jasper would play.

"Thank you so much, you guys really shouldn't have done any of this for me." I said blushing. Alice was at my side hugging me.

"You are welcome!" Rosalie smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Well are you going to look at the drum set or sit down and play?" I blushed, sitting down not even knowing where to put my feet. Edward appeared at the door.

"I'd suggest one on the high hat, using a double bass drum peddle might be hard for some one starting out." Edward had been running this whole operation. Emmett sat down in a chair next to Jasper putting his bass guitar on, pulling out a music book that came with the bass guitar. I was playing around not knowing what exactly to do, now Bella Jacob and Nessie had joined Edward in the room. I really was helpless at this point. Edward ran to my side and reached cabinet that was above my head since I was sitting at the drum set. I gave me a look and dropped it on my lap. "Rudiments of drumming" and "Rudiments of drum set." I looked over the book. I began scanning the book. Emmett was already playing a couple notes, apparently it had a guide in the front of the book Emmett just looked at once, I envied their ability to remember nearly everything just like that. His mind was sharp, but his fingers were bad. Jasper moved fluidly over the strings, yes I suppose they never did forget those abilities. Jasper let a small laugh out when he opened the cabinet next to him and saw a new electric guitar. I pulled it out and looked up at Alice and Rosalie who were obviously enjoying the chaos that was ensuing. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Listen, just because you only listen to soft music doesn't mean that Embry doesn't like rock, if you're going to play together you'll need one of those." Jasper sighed in defeat and grabbed a guitar pick and started strumming the new electric guitar. The guitar was a cranberry color. I had been so focused on the drum set I hadn't looked up to notice the sound system set up and the large flat screen TV hanging from the opposite wall. _Why is there a flat screen on the wall?_ Edward laughed at my thought. He pressed a button on the wall and the screen came to life, there must have been a small camera in the wall because now the picture was of us.

"We can make videos if we so please, watch them as a family" the way he said family comforted me, as if I really belonged. His eyes caught mine to confirm my thought.

"It can record, as well as watch musicians, or anything, but it's also a music player, which is why Embry, you needed an ipod." I didn't quite understand.

"We can blast this thing loud enough so you can't even hear your drumming over it." A piano was on my left, opposite of Jasper and Emmett. _I suppose that is for Edward_. He nodded. I was flabbergasted.

"Oh yeah, and any books or DVD's for drumming are in the cabinet above your head." I nodded.

"Embry, name one of your favorite bands." I needed to think I liked a lot of bands. _Foo Fighters? _I thought for a moment.

"Foo Fighters it is." Edward said before I got the name out of my mouth. He was at my side, reaching behind me and grabbing a DVD he flashed it at me then he was back at the TV on the opposite side of the room. The TV switched to a live concert. The music was loud enough that I could play drums and hear it. I watched their drummer for a while Taylor Hawkins, _Damn, umm I need to think of something a bit easier to start with_. Edward turned the TV off, I'd only now realized that Edward, Jasper, Emmett, and myself were the only ones left in the room. I smirked.

"We could start a band, the greatful undead." Emmett smiled in response. I must have sat there for hours, just playing around, reading and such. Jasper had left, he didn't need to practice. Emmett was there on the side of the room. Practicing, he had found a book and was playing Beattles music on the bass. _No one should be able to pick up an instrument that fast_. I thought taking shots at my new drum set. I pulled another book down and started reading about basic drumming, basic beats, basic rhythms; I never gave drummers enough credit.

Hours later I was laying in my bed, and as was the usual my mind couldn't drift away from her, nothing could stop my thoughts, and like more nights then I'd like to admit, I cried myself to sleep.

**Yeah so I basically finished this chapter 3 hours before I posted it but 2 chapters in one day is a bit much, but since people are getting in to this I guess I will post it, I'm thinking of putting she who cannot be named (I still hate Harry Potter) POV in one of the next chapters, just so we know what's going on with her, but maybe it'd be better as a surprise. You know the deal, Comments, ideas, reviews, high fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills (reviews really do make the world go round)**


	7. Getting over Clearwater

**Disclaimer: I am beginning to believe that people don't appreciate the various ways I say I'm not Stephenie Meyer and that I don't own twilight**

**Disclaimer Deuce: E-mail is like a prison with no walls… and no toilet**

Embry's POV

Weeks had passed since our recording studio was up and running. Most days I spent half of the day here, it was a good release for me. school started tomorrow and I wasn't looking forward to it, at least I was starting off as a sophomore I'd always been smart, but with how much school I'd be missing with the Cullens I was worried I'd be able to keep up. Jacob walked in ducking under a low pipe. I stopped drumming and looked at him.

"Hey Embry!" he called to me, I nodded in response. My drum set was raised on a stage so I climbed down so I was at eye level with Jacob, I didn't like talking down at people. It'd been a while since we'd done something just the two of us, probably not since we got to Minnesota. He looked down then back up at me and smiled.

"I heard about the Clearwater incident." I rolled my eyes.

"What you mean me seeing the water tower?" Jacob nodded.

"You want to go for a walk?" He said neutrally. I shrugged.

"I'd rather ride our bikes, I haven't yet since I've gotten here and well I kind of just want to ride, no real destination."

"I was thinking north, it feels like I should be there, like something is pulling me there." Jacob's eye met mine.

"Yeah I was feeling that too, like I'm being pulled there." unease lit his face. All the Cullens had left for different places in different directions. It left Jacob and I in a home with nothing to do.

"I think we should do that another time." Jacob grinned then ran up the stairs.

"I've got a different place in mind." He said when I was behind him in the garage.

"It's not too far away, I think it'll be a good place to think." That did interest me, some where quiet, far away from everything else. Jacob grabbed a large chain swinging it across his chest and then a pad lock from the garage.

"It might be useful." He said in his own defense. I kicked my bike to start and he followed.

It felt good to race down the freeway on our bikes, we kept them within ten miles of the speed limit, we didn't have any fuzz busters with us, aka Alice or Edward. Jacob turned off at the Clearwater exit, he had better have a reason. I followed. He was on the outside of town and stopped, next to the water tower. He cut his bike off and I did the same, unwrapping the chain from his body he chuckled.

"I got a couple of funny looks on the road wearing that." He pulled my bike next to his and chained them together against the water tower, padlocking it.

"Why did we lock the bikes up? Where are we going?" Jacob was wearing one of his more endearing grins.

"Well we locked our bikes up because we can't take them with us, and we're going up." I looked up, and smiled, we're climbing the Clearwater tower. Jacob went first jumping up skipping rungs. I followed quickly after him and climbed to the top. I was right behind him. We stood here, it had an impressive view.

"Well is there a reason why we're up here?" I asked, wondering if there was any deeper meaning. He shrugged his smile growing.

"You need to get over Clearwater." I laughed and considered pushing him but decided against it, he'd probably get hurt from the fall. I sat down and he sat down next to me.

"I thought I'd be a good place to think" I nodded. It was, I could see so much, it made me feel like I had control. _The illusion of control can be so comforting_. _When did you get philosophical? _I smiled at my own thoughts.

"Embry, this is going to sound really stupid, but I love you like the brother I never had." I smiled.

"Or rather the brother you never knew you had." He nodded next to me putting his arm around me, I didn't even shy away.

"It still hurts…" I said trying not to cry.

"I know man, it's okay…" he didn't say anything else, he just squeezed my shoulder.

"Every one keeps telling me get over her, I can't." he sat silently. _Was I really going to tell Jacob this? Yes, I needed to tell someone and who better then Jacob?_

"I really think I loved her." I choked. I'd never said it out loud.

"Ten minutes late." I muttered under my breath.

"I'm always ten minutes late." I said if my life was a story the title would be ten minutes late.

"I was ten minutes late to ask her out, I was ten minutes late to protect her from Sam, I was ten minutes to my work, I got fired, I was ten minutes late to tell her I loved her, and now she's gone. Maybe forever." I said finally breaking down. Tears lined my eyes, sliding down my cheeks.

"All these distractions are great, but what about the ten minutes before I go to bed every night? The first ten seconds when I wake up and realize I get to do it all over again. I just feel like asking everyone to wake me up when it gets better." I sighed and my shoulders hunched.

"And everyone else is too nice to me, too good to me." I said now sobbing. Was I really sobbing? This was the first time I'd ever cried like this over her. I turned to face him.

"I'm sorry, I just haven't really told anyone how much it means, how much it hurts… I feel like I've been hiding it when I tell everyone." I managed to say between sobs. He pulled me to him wrapping both arms around me now, treating me rather much like a little brother who needed protecting, but that wasn't too far off.

"Nothing you're feeling is wrong Embry." I felt extremely immature here, like this was wrong, but I needed to get everything off my chest. I needed to know I wasn't crazy.

"You die to heal." I said out loud. I didn't know how I would have handled it without the Cullen's, I still couldn't picture my life down the expanses of four years with out her but that was something I needed to do. And when I did what would I say? _I broke up with her how many months ago and yet just now I can see a future without her in it_. _Give yourself a pat on the back, you've realized no matter what you do you'll look pathetic_.

"I miss her." I said simply. Jacob didn't laugh at my understatement, he just nodded.

"I know, and some times the simplest things to say have the real meaning, you don't just miss her, you miss the way her hair felt, her eyes, her smile…" he drifted off.

"The smell she had, the way she controlled or killed a room. The way her fingers felt on my face, the way her skin felt under my fingers, the way her lips curled up when she was failing to stay serious, or mad." I stopped to take a deep breath.

"The way she frowned when I wasn't serious and she was trying not to laugh. The way her hair fell on her face, the way she looked just before she woke up, the frustrated look she had when she looked when she knew she was wrong." I sniffed and wiped another tear from my eye.

"The way she looked when she wanted to cause a problem, the way you could hear her smile. The way her voice sounded." I stopped for a moment. Jacob coughed.

"You done yet?" he asked almost annoyed but he was trying to keep it light.

"She was also an amazing kisser." Jacob laughed.

"That's a bit more like what I was expecting." I smiled next him. My phone buzzed.

"Hey Jasper." I answered.

"Where are you?" He sounded slightly worried.

"Jacob and I are on top of the Clearwater water tower." I heard laughing sounds from the other side.

"Right, well supper will be waiting for you when you get home." I nodded even though he couldn't see it, _You know that he can't see it and you're still nodding, that's crazy_.

"I'm heading back now."

"bye"

"See you when I get back." the line died and I stood. Jacob followed my lead.

"I'm here, and I've got your back, always." I nodded patting Jacob on the shoulder.

That night I didn't sleep well, I never slept well, but tonight I kept waking up with my pillow wet, never remembering the dreams I'd just woken in fear from. After the third time Jasper came in and refused to leave, calming me down into an artificial happy sleep.

**Yeah I had this chapter done a whole day before I posted it, I'm posting it now grudgingly. I've got the next three chapters already written, I want people to spend the time to tell me what they think. Just waiting for enough response and want for me to post them. Comments, concerns, high fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills, ideas, questions, pats on the back, thumbs up, all go to review area, the more reviews that happen the more excited I get and the faster I write seriously.**


	8. Teenage politics

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns your soul, I don't but I'm about to create a character or two that are mine, **

**Disclaimer Deuce: I've seen "Rocker" and "the Pick of Destiny" in the last two days, I'll try to keep all references of them out of my story, (David Grohl is crazy)**

Embry's POV

I stirred when I woke up. Jasper was still sitting next to me completely still. I felt guilty

"Jasper, what did I do to deserve a friend like you, not get the fuck away while I change." Jasper chuckled, he never got used to my moods when I had just woken up. He disappeared anyway. Alice was disappointed when Carlisle said that Jacob and I would have to wear baggy clothing to cover up our muscle, I walked down stairs with a very small undershirt.

"Yeah I know Carlisle, I'm going to put a sweatshirt on over it, it'll be hotter then hell so I thought I'd wear something light under it, I'm not taking it off." Carlisle nodded as if approval. Alice handed me a pair of baggy pants, I'd need a belt to keep these on. The look on her face was betrayal, as if she was betraying me.

"Alice I like your clothing choices more." A big grin spread across her face.

"Favorite wolf!" she practically screamed. Esme and Edward had prepared two large plates of food.

"I'm sorry we didn't wake you up earlier we've never had to wake anyone up for school. You better eat fast." Alice looked at my hair then disappeared. shortly after she returned with a brush. I turned to her then eyed Jasper, he rolled his eyes.

"My wolf is going to look amazing, even in clothes that don't display his body, I won't let you go to school looking like this!" she was brushing and I was trying to eat pan cakes, I soon realized it was one or the other, and she allowed me to finish my pan cakes.

"All the girls are going to swoon over you." I rolled my eyes.

"Or Jacob, or Emmett, or Jasper, or Edward." I said naming off all the males.

"Yes but the Cullen's it's expected it always happens, maybe I should have Edward keep track of the girls for you." Alice said giddily. Edward grinned.

"It'd give me something to do." Rosalie shot Edward a look.

"You know it's your job to look out for us at least for the first couple of months." Edward nodded.

"I can do both." Rosalie turned to me and smiled.

"You look fine wolf." _Did Rosalie just pay me a complement? Maybe I should stop thinking of her as Vampire Barbie_. Edward laughed. Rosalie's attention turned to him.

"What did he think? I know it's about me." Rosalie glared back at Edward

"Well he was really surprised that you paid him a complement and was wondering if he should stop thinking of you as Vampire Barbie." Emmett hit the counter laughing.

"Nah, Vampire Barbie works for me." I smiled, _maybe we'd get along_.

Central High School, it wasn't like all the stuck up private schools you hear about, this really was just a small high school. It was still bigger then Forks High school but there weren't any school uniforms or anything. Jacob and I had lockers near each other but the rest of the Cullens were down the hall more. Jacob and I were posing as sophomores.

"Hi what's your name?" I heard a voice too high and perky. My eyes turned to Jacob and apparently he had the same assessment. I turned and there standing in front of me was a short girl who was wearing a shirt about two sizes too small. Apparently my body wasn't amply covered up.

"Embry Black." I mumbled barely loud enough for her to hear.

"Emily?" she asked giggling.

"Embry!" I said quite a bit louder. She was still smiling. I didn't find any of this cute, obviously she had gotten by on her looks in life, because there wasn't much up in the head area.

"My name Becky." I wasn't very interested in her name or anything about her really. She had a good body, but she wasn't worth it.

"Where is your first class, I can help you find it." she said nearly bouncing next to me. I sighed inwardly. _I don't think I can take this for another hour, much less all day_.

"No, I should be fine, I'll find it myself." She extended her hand to shake mine, I didn't care if I was impolite, but I remembered I had a part to play, I shook it with a smile, a small sheet of paper was in my palm when she left. I looked down at it. It had her phone number on it and the fact that she was the head cheerleader. I rolled my eyes showing Jacob next to me, he laughed. I was in classes that were far beneath my skill, I didn't even need to pay attention, I had graduated from high school and now I was in 10th grade again. Lunch was uneventful, besides the fact that Jacob and I ate all the Cullens props for them, they didn't seem to mind. Edward said if the food disappeared maybe it'd be more believable. The food wasn't bad compared to what we had at our old school.

After 6th period I saw a group of bigger guys crowding around something, or someone. I didn't know why but I had to see what it was.

"Come on little shit, take a shot at him." _Oh, my god they picked the wrong Cullen_. _I was surprised Jasper held out this long, from what I've heard being close to humans was nearly impossible, well before I came around_.

Jasper was standing in the middle, I could see his body tightening, he was resisting the urge but he was failing. he'd crack any second. I reached through them pushing to football players to the side easily.

"Come on Jasper, we'll be late for history." Jasper looked up at me as if I was a savior and walked past me.

"That was a bad idea." One of the five foot ball players said cracking his knuckles.

"I don't think so, especially since there is a teacher behind me, but hey by all means take the first punch." I said taunting them, I was right, I could hear my Biology teacher behind me. The five of them turned away grumbling. Jasper's cold hand patted my arm.

"Thanks man." He said I smiled.

"You could have taken them." He laughed.

"I know."

During history class Jasper explained how the rifles were shit, they wouldn't shoot at a person fifteen feet in front of him. He laughed at the project, we were suppose to write a story about that time, a history of a fictional character.

"I already know who I'm doing mine on." Jasper laughed at my side. I knew too.

"Jasper Whitlock." He answered. I laughed next to me. the entire class elapsed like this, he told me so much more then the teacher,

"Did you know that General Burnside had hilarious Sideburns." I muffled a laugh turning back to him.

"Are you serious?" he nodded.

"You should look him up, you'll laugh too." The teacher seemed to be frustrated with Jasper,

"Unless you have a full understanding of the Civil War I expect you to be quiet and listen." It was everything I could do to not laugh. _If Ms. Frank only knew, Jasper knows more about that war then you'd ever know_. Jasper had been able to keep a neutral expression on his face but don't ask me how.

"Are you really going to write your story for fiction?" he nodded smiling again.

"Well I'll need to leave out the part about changing. I'll pick a random battle to die at." He wouldn't say vampires, he took very seriously the secret.

History was by far my most interesting class, but only because Jasper was giving me a real history lesson instead of one out of a book.

After eighth period I ran down the stairs and took a side door outside. The same five football players were standing there.

"My name is Nick Jackson." The one in the middle announced, like everyone must kneel when they say his name.

"I heard you were hitting on my girlfriend." He said cracking his knuckles as if to intimidate me.

"It's not my fault your girlfriends a skank." I shrugged. I wasn't worried. I saw Edward across the lot, his eyes met mine and Jasper him Emmett and Jacob were heading my way.

"You also interrupted our initiating of another student. That was a bad choice." I laughed.

"I'm pretty sure he didn't want to be in your gang for dumb asses." I was goading them, deep down I wanted to fight them, take some of my anger out.

"You're new here so I'll let that go, but you will take your place under me." he said. _Did he just say that? I can't let that one slip, it's too golden of an opportunity_.

"Sorry I don't swing that way, the only one I'm getting under is your girlfriend." I taunted. The Cullens were behind them now, with Jacob.

"Hey Embry, let's roll" Jacob called and I walked through the line of dumb jocks. Jasper was at my side and Jacob at the other.

"That felt good." Emmett laughed next to me.

"That was a nice comment on the girlfriend thing." Emmett said patting me on the back

"I have to say I was rather impressed with that line, I didn't know you had it in you." Rosalie said agreeing with Emmett.

"Tomorrow is going to be sunny." Alice announced when we got home. I sighed, what was I going to do? I walked in to the house and headed straight for the basement, it was my place to think, Nessie jumped in to her mothers arms behind me. I shrugged, I wasn't feeling horrible yet, but I probably would. I grabbed a CD and popped it in not looking at it, it was Foo Fighters, I hadn't listened to them since the first day, I got too intimidated, I had gotten much better now though, still I wasn't nearly as good as the drummer was. _Have to try don't you?_ I thought throwing a custom made CD in the CD player. I jogged over to the drum set. I hit the drums a couple times, making sure none had been moved. No they were all where I wanted them. I grabbed a remote and hit play. The sound was loud enough I could still hear the drummer clearly over me. I wasn't done with three songs when Jasper and Emmett appeared at the door. They locked the door behind them, something I did notice. I turned off the music.

"What's up?" I asked usually the door was open or at the very least unlocked when we played, we hadn't played together yet, I was always too intimidated. Jasper grabbed his new acoustic guitar something I hadn't seen him use yet, but he must have. He plugged in to an amp. That was another first for me. He strummed once increasing the volume. Emmett set up next him then walked to the opposite side of the room. Jasper grabbed the microphone, turning it on and did a sound test. Emmett had turned the TV on record, trying to do so without me noticing, it didn't slip my attention.

"Hey Embry, we thought we'd start out one of your favorites." He said with his body facing the front of the room, as if it was an audience. _Wait start? Meaning he has some other songs in mind? Is he really recording all this_? His fingers started strumming and I recognized the song as "My Hero." By Foo Fighters. I played softly behind his acoustic guitar.

"Too alarming now to talk about." Jasper sang, it was the first time I'd heard him sing. _He's not nervous, he's calm, his voice is perfect_. I thought enviously. The whole song I tried to stay under his acoustic guitar, I was off more then a couple times. We all ended together and I smiled, this was fun.

"And this next one is a personal favorite of my brother Emmett's from a while back." Jasper spoke as if the audience was in front of him. He turned back to me.

"Country, just try something and stick with it." I'd never played country before. This was an accident waiting to happen. Emmett stepped up to the middle and Jasper stepped back. They both started playing together, I was lost I'd never heard the song before.

"Well my daddy left home when I was three, he didn't leave much for ma and me, just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Well I don't blame cause he run and hid, but the meanest thing he ever did was he went and named me Sue." I laughed at that line. I had to work to keep a constant beat because I found the song absolutely hilarious.

After it was over Jasper went in to the next song I recognized as Stairway to heaven. He sang it, beautifully of course. After it was over Emmett walked up to the TV and turned off the record button.

"Well that was painless." Jasper noted.

"Not for me!" I scoffed. Emmett removed the DVD and put it in a case. I looked at it. It had a nice cover, looks like Some one must have made these in their free time. I turned my attention away from it then up to Emmett himself.

"I never pegged you for a Country fan." He shrugged.

"I'm not, Jasper showed me that song and I loved it, he's the country fan." Emmett grinned.

"Time to watch it as a family." He said chuckling. He raced up stairs Jasper and I turned everything off in the room and followed him.

After enduring my musical faults in front of the whole family. I deciding to call it a night, I ate supper and went up to my room. I just laid there on my bed thinking, which was never a safe place for me to be. _What if you never see her again? What if you see her tomorrow? What would you say? Would you hate her or love her? Would you scream or make out with her? Would you still give your life for her? In a heartbeat_ I thought answering my own question. I'd still give up everything I had, and now I had much more for her, but I wouldn't give it up for her, I'd give it up for us. I wouldn't abandon my new family, the one that took me in and is fixing my broken pieces she left behind. Jasper was at my side again, calming me, _my own personal sleeping drug_. I smiled thinking about it before drifting to sleep.

**Next chapter… what will Jacob and Embry do when they don't need to go to school and they can be outside, but the Cullens can't? leave ideas, questions, love notes, high fives, comments, rolls of twenty dollar bills in the review section, seriously I've written another chapter already, I'm just waiting till I think enough people have read it to upload it.**


	9. You can't avoid what you're running to

**Disclaimer: not Stephenie Meyer**

**Disclaimer Deuce: sorry for how long it took, I've had some stuff happen… but anyway I'd love to drop four chapters on you guys but I decided to change my story a bit so I need to rehash a couple things… and yes this is something of a major change**

Embry's POV

It was morning, I didn't know what to do with the whole day but the pull inside of me north had gotten stronger, I needed to find out what was pulling me there. I could smell breakfast already. _Was Edward so good at reading my mind he could tell when I was waking up? No that was crazy, even for vampires_. I made my way down stairs and as was custom I threw breakfast in to my mouth, Jacob doing the same next to me. Our eyes met apparently I wasn't the only one to whom the pull got stronger. Jacob said something felt off ever since we came to Minnesota, I thought it was just me, but when he said he felt it too it confirmed my thoughts. We headed out to the garage, no one stopping us. I turned and called back.

"Hey Jacob and I are going for a ride on our bikes." No one responded but I didn't think any one would stop us anyway. Once we were out of the hearing range of Edward we started speculating.

"What do you think this pull could be?" I asked, neither one had asked where we were going we naturally just headed north.

"I don't know, but I never had this kind of feeling as a human, I think its werewolf related." He thought after a moment.

"I didn't want them worrying about us, besides them coming with us could make it much worse if it is werewolf related." We'd be riding for a while now I forget to check the time, but our hunches lead us to the same place. It was the Chippewa of White Earth we were looking for. Something was drawing us there. It was here at the Center of the small town, neither of us had paid attention to where. We left our bikes outside the rez, didn't think it'd go over to come in on shiny tripped out bikes on a poor reservation. _Honestly Embry, have you ever seen a rich reservation?_ I shrugged, it had never bugged me but I couldn't say the same for everyone. There appeared to be a large gathering and a familiar smell passed our noses.

"Werewolves? Here in Minnesota?" I said looking back at Jacob. He shrugged in response. That was probably what was pulling us here: to the other werewolves. When we were phased we heard dim sounds, not as if there was another person in our mind, but kind of like we were in a car and they were on the outside. Jacob tensed at my side. I smiled patting him on the shoulder.

"Come on we're in town, they wouldn't do anything stupid, besides we're Werewolves too! We should be welcome on this reservation." I don't know if I believed that last part, but if it'd calm Jacob down I guess it'd be worth it. I looked up at the place serving as a sort of meeting building. I could hear chatter in there, from the noise I guessed probably least twenty people were there.

"Probably a meeting of the elders." I assumed, but my words didn't seem to help. Something had Jacob spooked, and I couldn't tell what it was. Having him by my side did make me uneasy, though. We were both over dressed in hooded sweatshirts and long pants, the entire point was to try and make us look less intimidating, it didn't change the fact that Jacob and I were closer to seven feet then six and a half but it did hide our muscles very well, the shirts were too big for both of us. We neared the door and a teenager in an undershirt and shorts met us, obviously a new werewolf still swooning over himself. I had to hold back a smile, he was probably around six feet six inches tall but we were both a head above him. He had an aura of pride, like he hadn't been a werewolf too long, he was still walking around without a shirt on, showing off his new muscles, but the way he walked suggested his body hadn't completely gotten used to itself.

"Hi my name is Dave-" Is the last thing I hear before I was distracted. Something about David's smell is familiar. What is it? Why? His scent? I breathe in this time focusing on it. The smell does smell familiar but from where… Wait. A. Second. David was still talking I was completely unaware, I knew where I knew that scent from.

"I'd like you to meet my girl friend, Leah Clearwater." I knew that scent anywhere. I wince inwardly. I don't know why I winced. I knew it was her before David said HER name. Maybe it was because I hadn't heard her name since she left me. Maybe it was because it was how she left me. She walked over not paying attention and wrapped her arm around David. My blood started boiling, and that was because I still loved her and she was putting her arm around another guy.  
"Leah I'd like to introduce you to…" he drifted realizing we hadn't given our names yet.

"No… need… we've… met… before…" Was all I could say as my body started shaking uncontrollably. Her body stiffened immediately as if electricity ran up her body.

_You heartless bitch, you run off to some other guy, why? Cause I won't fucking screw your brains out!_

"Oh shit!" Jacob yelled at my side and then was in front of me pushing me back.

"Embry, run home, now… I'll take care of this… just get away before you do something you'll regret." I couldn't think straight but my body didn't need to think to kill. Jacob was right, I turned and sprinted fast as I ever had before, I needed to get to the woods before phasing. No I can deal with this when I have the control to. _Fuck her up, kill that whore! Shut up, I need to make it to the woods! That fucking bitch dropped you like a bad habit! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I yelled to myself phasing in the trees_. My clothes shredded at my feet as my transformation took place. My mental argument came out as one loud roar, louder then I'd ever done. _Now kill that bitch!_ My body wanted to run back to where I came, but I forced myself to run the opposite direction. I reached the edge of the reservation but didn't have any spare clothes. I'd better just head back home.

Jacob's POV

"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Leah Clearwater." My body stiffened at her full name. It was the first time I'd heard it since she left. She walked out not quite smiling, but wrapped an arm around David.

"Leah I'd like to introduce you to…" David said remembering we never gave him our names.

"No… need… we've… met… before…" Embry managed to grunt out as his body started shaking. Leah stiffened at the sound of his voice. Her eyes met Embry's and shock lit both of their faces. Leah's eyes didn't leave Embry's, his did leave hers though, he was still shaking.

"Oh shit!" I said realizing Embry was about to phase. If he did he'd probably kill David then Leah. Embry was bigger then I was now, he'd been working out and I hadn't worked out a single day of my life. I forced him backward, but he pushed forward against me. I couldn't over power him, hopefully he could control himself a little bit.

"Embry, run home, now… I'll take care of this… just get away before you do something you'll regret." He didn't move for a couple seconds then he turned and sprinted away. My eyes turned to her. She was still watching him leave. I wanted to swear at her, I wanted to say so many things, I don't remember ever seeing Embry phase like that. So many things I wanted to say to her, but she wasn't the one stupid enough to break the silence.

"Hey what was dumb asses problem?" David said laughing. She immediately freed herself from his side as though she should have done it before. I reacted instinctively smashing his nose with my fist. He fell down on his back and grabbed his nose. Blood was flying every where. He snapped it back in to place. Shock left her face only for a second and was replaced with an amused look, as if she wanted to do that herself but didn't. David got back to his feet wiping blood from his mouth and trying to look me in the eye, obviously failing. He smiled evilly like he knew something I didn't. She saw it in his eye and stepped between us.

"No, we're not going to fight here, Jacob back off." She said to me. something registered in his mind.

"You know them?" Leah nodded, _that's one way to put it_. _She knew all of us pretty good before stabbing Embry in the back and leaving_.

"You don't need to protect them from me dear, I wasn't going to hurt them too much." David said gallantly as possible. She rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't protecting them from you, Dave." I laughed pulling off my sweatshirt. I threw it over my shoulder showing off my much larger, and better body. David stared at me dumbfounded.

"Well let's take this outside then, and I'll show you my power." David said taunting me. _Honestly how stupid can he be? How can he not see I'm a wolf?_

"Don't follow me Leah." I winched saying her name, it hurt me too when she left, she was my beta, my friend.

"He's not ready to see you yet, especially since you replaced him so quickly." I turned to walk away and David grabbed my shoulder and spun me. I saw the pain in her eyes. _Good after what she did to Embry maybe she should feel something_.

"You will not talk to my girlfriend like that, Mr. hot stuff. The only reason I don't tear you limb from limb is because she's holding me back!" I rolled my eyes to Leah who bit back a smile. My eyes turned back to David and I punched him in the nose again, dropping him on to his back and walked over him till my feet between his arms and his torso.

"If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you." I turned and walked away, not once looking back at Leah.

_Her_ POV

Apparently there was some meeting of elders taking place today, to discuss with the wolves. I hadn't shown any one that I could phase, I didn't want to be the freak here. Dave might not want me anymore, and I couldn't lose him too after everything that happened with Emb. _You know it's sick and wrong that you're using him like that right? He asked me out, not the other way around! It doesn't change the fact that you're using him to get over Embry_._ Like I used Embry to get over Sam? No, you really did care about Embry_._ Do you really care about Dave? I don't know but I need him now_._ You are a sick demented bitch_. _You do understand what you're doing at the very least is morally questionable, and the worst completely ethically wrong_. _Yeah, I know_. _And you're not going to change are you?_

"Leah, hey come on we've got this meeting to go to." Dave said placing a kiss on my forehead. He led me to the center of the town. The building sort of served as a town hall of sorts. We stepped in the back and everyone from the pack was here. _The Minnesota pack_ I thought to myself. Harley Brown, the Alpha made his way to me.

"Leah how you feeling? you don't look so well." Dave made his way to the entrance something had caught his attention.

"No, I miss my ex… and I still feel bad about going out with Dave" I said quietly so no one else could hear.

"You know where I stand on this, I think you shouldn't go out with him, it's not fair to him, it's not fair to you and it's definitely not fair to your ex."

"What's he got to do with this, He left my life." I bit back.

"First off, you left his, and secondly by jumping at some one else it's not giving it the proper time to heal, it's cheapening, may I be blunt?" he asked, I nodded. _I was always blunt why should he need to ask if he could be_.

"By jumping in to Dave's arms, you're treating him like he was some random hookup who never had a chance in your life, and from how you've been I know that's not true." I could always count on him to give me the cold hard truth, even if I didn't want to hear it.

"I don't want go alone." I said pulling myself further away.

"You don't need to, we'll always be here for you." Harley said reaching out and touching my hand. Something flickered across his face.

"You're a wolf aren't you." he asked his eyes widening. I nodded not knowing what else to do. Dave's hand motioned me over, apparently there was some one he wanted me to meet. I lowered my head exhaling and walking over to his side.

"This is my girlfriend Leah Clearwater." I wrapped my arm around him for comfort. I still hadn't looked up, what did I care who he was introducing me to.

"Leah I'd like to introduce you to…" stopped mid sentence. Apparently he was missing something, maybe he didn't know their names. I saw there feet, they looked familiar. _Leah, listen to yourself, some ones feet look familiar? You're really losing it now_.

"No… need… we've… met… before…" My eyes shot up and my body stiffened, I definitely recognized that voice. _It is him, he his here, he is standing in front of me now! He's changed, has he gotten bigger? He's huge! I don't remember him being that big_. _Why is he glaring at me, My arm is around David isn't it, FUCK!_

"Oh shit!" I heard Jacob yell, I didn't even notice him until he was between Embry and I. _Embry please don't hate me, please! You dumb bitch, you look like you dumped him ran off and tried to forget about him by screwing some other guy_. _Shut up! That is what you did though! I haven't screwed Dave! _I yelled mentally. Jacob was now trying to force Embry out the door. _When did Embry get bigger then Jacob?_

"Embry, run home, now… I'll take care of this… just get away before you do something you'll regret." Jacob was pushing with all of his might. No Embry had definitely gotten stronger. As if by a sheer act of will Embry turned and ran, faster then I'd ever seen him run. He was going to phase any second tearing his clothes apart, something to my knowledge he hadn't done since his first transformation. Jacob was staring holes in to me. As if the sight of me sickened him. I wouldn't break the silence, no Jacob was definitely waiting for that.

"What's dumb asses problem?" Dave said laughing next to me. I disengaged my arm from him stepping away but he didn't notice. Jacob reacted instinctively his muscles flexed and his knuckles connected with Dave's face making a large cracking noise. He dropped to the ground immediately. I smirked for a second. _I wish I would have done that myself_. Dave stood back up readjusting his nose and Jacob beckoned him forward. _Jacob no, he's just a new werewolf! _I stepped in between the two stopping both of them.

"No, we're not going to fight here, Jacob back off." I said more begging then anything else. Something must have clicked in Dave's mind.

"You know them?" he asked me, I nodded not looking back. I didn't need to worry about Dave, I could take him if I needed to, Jacob I couldn't.

"You don't need to protect them from me dear, I wasn't going to hurt them too much." He said with a cocky air. I rolled my eyes. _Hah, you picked the wrong guys to get cocky on, Jacob will rip you to shreds, and after how he reacted to you insulting Embry, I'm pretty sure he won't hold back_.

"I wasn't protecting them from you, Dave." I said trying to get him to think straight. Jacob laughed in front of me. _Yeah Jacob I know you could beat the shit out of this kid, he's never even fought in wolf form_. Jacob took off his shirt to make his point clear, he was definitely bigger, and stronger then Dave, and he was probably faster too, he was the second fastest in the pack when I was in it. _Second to me_.

"Well let's take this outside then, and I'll show you my power." Dave said, still mocking Jacob. _Really Dave, you stupid idiot can't you see he's a wolf too?_ Jacob's facial expression mirrored my own.

"Don't follow me Leah." He said wincing, as if my name hurt him. _Why would it hurt him? You dumb bitch, you walked out on him as a friend_. _He trusted you as his Beta_.

"He's not ready to see you yet, especially since you replaced him so quickly." He let the acid seep in his voice. That really hurt. Jacob turned to walk away, apparently he was leaving. Dave stepped up to grab his shoulder, trying to salvage and pride he had left.

"You will not talk to my girlfriend like that, Mr. hot stuff. The only reason I don't tear you limb from limb is because she's holding me back!" _Did he just call Jacob 'hot stuff?' Does he honestly think he has a chance against Jacob? I could kick his ass_. Jacob rolled his eyes and I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling. Jacob turned back to Dave and punched him in his recently fixed nose. Dave dropped like a sack of hammers, again. Jacob walked over him standing above his chest. showing who was the dominant one of the two

"If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you." he said turning to walk away, he didn't look at me. He started sprinting, human form. _I need to follow him_._ I need to find Embry! I need to talk to him!_ Dave stood up for the second time painfully putting his nose back together, a tear escaped his eye. _You are such a little pansy_. I thought.

"It's a good thing you held me back, I would have ripped him to shreds." I rolled my eyes at him

"Please, I can take you out, they would have annihilated you." he laughed not taking me seriously.

"Not if I was a wolf." He shrugged offhandedly.

"You dumb ass, those two were wolves, in fact, both are Alpha males from the rez I came from." He still didn't seem worried. I rolled my eyes. _Why the hell am I going out with this idiot? You're using him to get over Embry remember, you fucking whore_.

"Embry…" I said quietly. Then I ran out of the door. Dave was running behind me.

"Don't follow me Dave." I yelled at him, he stopped. He better stay back, I'm not sure if Embry or Jacob will be able to control themselves again. I ran behind a house and found Embry's scent. I undressed and phased following the scent to the edge of the reservation. There lay one bike. Embry's scent was all over it. He must have stopped and decided he'd come back for it. He couldn't drive naked. I'd wait for him here. I needed to, I had to explain.

**Give me all your comments, they make the world go round, and modivate me to write. Rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, comments, questions, concerns, ideas, thumbs up… all here. I'm bringing the next chapter out soon.**


	10. Long Road to Ruin

**Disclaimer: I =/= Stephenie Meyer - I don't own Twilight ( I do not equal Stephenie Meyer, Therefore I don't own Twilight)**

**Disclaimer deuce: The killer in me is the killer in you! I know you all hate my Leah in the story, but it's a logical thing for her to do, and I'm sorry if you don't like her any more after this chapter.**

Embry's POV

I was glad I didn't bring my cell phone with me today, it would have been destroyed during the phase, I did manage to pick up my keys as a wolf and hide them under my tongue.

I didn't know what to think anymore, all I knew was I was running as fast I as I could home avoiding any open space I could. For the most part I ran in the woods near the road, but when that opened up I'd move out of my way to stay in the woods. Because of the distance I needed to go around towns and such Jacob was much faster riding his bike home, he'd beat me there by a long shot. I had too much time to think on my way back. _What the fuck is she doing here?_ Most my time was spend thinking explicit words how much I hated her, but deep down I knew that couldn't change the fact I loved her.

_You are one fucked up guy_. I told myself. _I'm a_ _masochist remember? _I asked myself, I was in front of the house and there were clothes on the front porch, along with my cell phone on top. I phased to tie the clothing to my ankle and put the cell phone in a pouch I kept around my neck so it wouldn't break, I phased back and headed back. A couple minutes later a voice entered my head.

_"Embry, don't go back there!" Jacob called, picturing a couple hours ago when I saw her_.

_"I'm just grabbing my bike then turning around and coming back, leave my head I need to think_._" _I demanded of him.

_"One of the Cullens could get your bike_._" He thought then realized it was a sunny day_.

_"It's my bike, my responsibility_._" _I said as if it was a command. He stopped and phased out and left me to my own thoughts._ Had I been lying to Jacob when I said I was going to turn around and back? Every part of me wanted to confront her, not run away, the problem was half of me wanted shove my tongue down her throat and the other part wanted to scream at her_. _I knew which side would win, the side that always wins, it's reasonable_. _That fucking little whore left me and goes and what fucks around the first guy she sees? Does she even miss me? Does she even fucking care what that did to me?_

_I bet she was fucking playing me all along, just fucking dragging me along_. _That sweet little whore she is, that slut, I fucking hate her_.

I calmed down and phased back human by some trees across a meadow from my bike, I changed throwing my cell phone in my pocket and throwing on a tight fighting tank top and pants that did make me look good. My vision wasn't perfect from phasing, but in the distance I could see a body sitting in front of my bike.

_You idiot that's her! _I stopped mid step. _Was I really ready for this? Are you kidding? Of course you're not ready to talk coherently with her, hell you weren't when you when you two were going out_. _Shut up! You're not ready for this_._ I know but she's not giving me a choice_. _Oh fuck Embry, she's crying_. Her face was in her hands. She was sobbing. _Could I really do anything besides comfort her when she's crying?_ _Could I really be mad at her?_ The answer was no, I couldn't be angry with her when she was obviously crying over me.

I approached silently. She hadn't noticed me until I was ten feet from her and the wind blew my scent at her. Her eyes were red rimmed. She must have been here since I left how many hours ago. She wiped the tears out of her eyes quickly hiding it as if I wouldn't notice. Any anger I had disappeared. I couldn't speak. _Why was I mad at her? She's fucking going out with some random dude? But she was crying! So, you think she wasn't using that to get you back? She wouldn't would she? Of course she would, she left you while you were medically unstable_._ You could have died!_ I couldn't break the silence. I couldn't face her like this. I could face her when she wasn't crying over me. I couldn't look at her. I stepped around her to the opposite side of my bike. _Are you seriously just going to walk away, she's right there, she's everything you want and more! Yeah and everything I want and more is going out with someone else_. I pulled my bike away and put the key in the ignition. She stumbled then stood up and her eyes were on fire.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" she yelled, her voice was ragged, but it still had the beauty it had before in it. _What? Like you want to swear at you?_

"No." I finally responded quietly. It was her choice. She stood in front of the front wheel and I rolled my eyes and simply turned my bike. She moved with me.

"I know you want to say more!" she said making a vice around my front wheel with her arms.

"You made your bed. Now get fucked in it." I said with anger seeping over. Her eyes flared, apparently that crossed some mental line.

"You think this is about sex?" I shrugged in response not even looking at her anymore.

"I don't know, the only thing I've done wrong apparently is not fucked your brains out, which is something I regret." A sound approached from the trees, my eyes turned. It was David.

"Leah, we have been looking all over for you." David ran up to her and hugged and kissed her. It felt like a knife was being stabbed in to my stomach and twisting. I saw the person behind David, his eyes met mine for a second then his widened. I turned my wheel away from Leah kicking my bike to life.

"You made your bed. Now get fucked in it." I said driving off giving the finger as I left.

_Her _POV

I hadn't decided to kiss Dave he just kissed me I froze in place. _No, please no not here not with him_.

"You made your bed. Now get fucked in it." Embry said riding away on his bike. He was giving the finger. _Wow, that is a different Embry, he barely swore before_. I was too ashamed to look at Dave. My eyes turned to Harley for support. He jaw was dropped as he watched Embry leave. His eyes turned to mine, seeing how bloodshot they were. It was obvious he knew who that was.

"I'm going after him, don't follow me." Dave shook his head trying to wrap his arms around me. I pushed him off.

"No Dave, don't follow me!"

"And leave you to deal with that dangerous freak? I think not." My eyes turned to Harley and he was surprised at what Dave said.

"Leah is more then capable of handling things herself. If we didn't show up she probably would have dealt with it."

"I will not risk it!" Dave said adamantly.

"You will risk it, you WILL not follow her" he commanded in his Alpha tone.

"If you attempt to, you will have to deal with me." Harley said crossing his arms. Dave was obviously disgusted with both of us.

"I can't believe you're letting her deal with a monster like that." I laughed harshly and started running to the opposite side of the meadow, as long as Harley was going to help me no one else needed to know I was a werewolf. I sprinted faster then I should be able to, I smelt his trail. As soon as she was in the cover of the forest I stripped down to phase. I was chasing his smell, every now and then wondering if I'd be able to keep up with him on the freeway. I followed his scent and it became clear I wouldn't be able to. My nose on the ground, the scent growing weaker every step I took, I had to slow down, I was at it for hours. _I needed to find him, I needed him_. _Sure you do, that's why you dumped him, ran away and hooked up with the first guy that liked you_. _Shut up damn it! _The scent was getting weak it moved to an opening in the woods.

Embry must have realized I was following him. He was on the side of the freeway, leaning up against his bike waiting for me. He couldn't see me but he was staring exactly where I was. I made a low growling sound. He rolled his eyes and kicked his bike to life, pulling away. I kept my eye on him as we ran past St. Cloud, each exit I expected him to turn off to. It made sense it was the biggest small town around. He kept riding. He turned off but I couldn't see what town we were in. I followed as close as I could, I heard him turn off his bike. _Is he going to stop running?_ I changed back in to human form and put my clothes back on. I ran out and saw his bike in the distance by a water tower. _Why is it there? He's not running, and if he is he's in wolf form and I can catch him_. I ran to the bike, the key was out of the ignition. His smell stopped he didn't go anyway, then I looked up, yes that's where his scent went. _Embry why are you going up a water tower? _I thought to myself before grabbing the rungs. I climbed up hesitantly. I reached the top, he was facing the other way, on the phone. I couldn't believe it, it was really him.

"Yeah Jasper, I'll be fine, I'll come home after this is all over." _Wait he's living with the Cullens now?_

"Yeah she is here." He said. I noticed he didn't say my name. Something really had Jasper spooked.

"Bye Jasper. And thanks" he said sighing. he closed the phone and turned around.

"Hi…"

Embry's POV

She had joined me up here. It took everything I could do to not turn around. Jasper sounded worried on the other side of the phone.

"Are you going to be okay? You sure you don't want me to come meet you?" I smiled at Jasper's question. Jasper was too nice, when he wasn't a cold calculated killing machine.

"Yeah Jasper, I'll be fine, I'll come home after this is all done."

"Well you know I'm here for you, no matter what happens, if you bring her back drunk and drugged up I'll still be here for you." I smiled.

"Bye Jasper. And thanks." I hit the end button. _I guess it's time to meet my fate_. I turned to face her but I couldn't look at her.

"Hi…" Her name got caught in my throat I couldn't say it. I looked every direction, anywhere but at her.

"Embry, look at me." she asked taking a step closer. _Please just leave, maybe some day I will be able to deal with this, but not today, I can't handle the fact you replaced me_. _I'm not strong enough_.

"No… I can't" _She's standing in front of you and you can't say her name? You're pathetic_. Tears were forming in my eyes. _Great, now you're crying_._ I can't help it!_

"Embry, are you crying?" she asked I still wasn't looking at her, I was looking up but I could feel she was only a foot away from me. She hadn't dared touch me. The tears were now running down the side of my face.

"Please… just… leave…" I said barely audibly.

"You need to look at me first." Her voice said from underneath me. I looked down at her and the tears became visible to her.

"I can't look at you…" I choked on her name again.

"Leah…" I finally managed to get out. There were tears in her eyes. Nothing could stop me, I lightly wiped them out of her eyes. I pulled her to me wrapping my arms around her. _You stupid idiot what the fuck are you doing, she'll go back to her boy friend, let go of her right now! _I knew that was the logical thing to do, but since when was love logical?

"Ten minutes late" I managed to get out, before more tears lined my face. Her eyes met mine, without thinking my lips were on hers. It was the fiercest kiss we'd had. _It feels so good, and yet so wrong_. I pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I need to leave." I tried to get around her but her arms wrapped around me.

"I just got you back I'm not letting go." I shook my head pulling her hands away from me.

"No you didn't get me back, I made a mistake." She was crying but I couldn't look at her.

"You made your bed…" I said before moving to the ladder. She grabbed me and quite physically pulled me back.

"Why here, why did you lead me here." I shrugged after she asked the question.

"This is where I go to get over Clearwater." She looked confused.

"What do you mean, 'get over Clearwater.' I don't understand."

"We're standing on the Clearwater water tower, Jacob brought me here two day's ago to get over Clearwater." I was pulling away I needed to get away.

"Please Embry, don't leave I need you." she cried trying to stop me.

"You have your boy friend, you replaced me. I was waiting for you, I couldn't look at another girl, I couldn't touch any one else." I grabbed the ladder and slid down. She was chasing me down sliding. I didn't move out of the way. I slid and caught her in my arms. I don't know why I did that but I couldn't let go of her. She didn't want me to either by the look in her eye. I sighed and she tightened her grip.

"What did you mean when you said you 'Ten minutes late'?" I loosened her grip and put her on the ground, very much so against her will.

"Before our battle with the Werebears, I was going to tell you something, but I argued that we needed to focus on the battle ahead. So I was going to tell you right after the battle, but I was injured, and I never saw you again." I said not sure if I was going to tell her where this was leading, I needed to get away.

"What were you going to say." She asked _don't tell her_. _Don't tell her_. _Don't tell her! Do NOT tell her you were about to tell her you love her!_

"It's not important, you've moved on." I walked away and she grabbed my arm then my shoulder and pulled me back to her. Her arms grabbed my tank top pulling my lips to hers. I couldn't resist I wanted her too much. I needed her. Her lips tasted better then I ever remembered them. Her smell was better. It was my personal addiction. I didn't have the will to pull away but I did need air to breathe still. I took that moment of control to take a step back. _What are you doing? Isn't this what you wanted? Yeah, but not to be her fucking post while she goes out with some one else! _

"Stop running and fucking kiss me already, you know you want to damn it." Leah said getting a hold of me again. _Stop running from her and kiss her! Hey what could it hurt, if she's kissing you like this she wants to get back with you, doesn't she? _

My lips passionately met hers. We were both making up for lost months, it felt so good. My hands ran up and down her back pulling her closer to me. A quiet moan escaped my throat. She cooed under me. I grew stiff remembering what I'd learned yesterday in math. Logical course doesn't always imply logical answer. _Meaning she could be making out with you, but not want you like that_._ You idiot, she's still taken!_

I pulled away slowly softly, trying not to alert her to my escape. I had to get away why I still could will it to happen. She caught on. I jumped on my bike and kicked it to life. _If I drive through Clearwater to get to St. Cloud I can probably ditch her, I don't want her following me_. she was moving to block my patch I turned my bike and kicked it forward, begging it to get away before she could get her hands around me or it. I made it, and I didn't even need to tell her anything, I didn't need to tell her that I loved her. I didn't need to tell her I still love her. Maybe if I get away. _She will find you, she'll find a way_. _I knew that, I just wanted to delude myself in to think I could go back to how it was._

I guess that left one thing to do, get home and wait for the hurricane to hit.

**Yeah ahuh, I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants, but there will be a twist and or turn here some where. Comments, rolls of twenty dollar bills, ideas, high fives, reviews! AND, because of the fact I got 5 reviews within, what 2 hours I put up the next chapter, I need to fix up the next chapter but if I get so many reviews I'll probably put it up tonight too.**


	11. Squall and Rinoa

Embry's POV

_Am I hiding in my room from her? Yes you are_. _No I'm not_. I knew she'd find her way here, she'd gotten pretty good at that, she wasn't a tracker but if I was what she was looking for I knew she had the determination to find me sooner or later. That was one thing I admired about her. Edward Jasper and Emmett were in my room in a heartbeat, Jacob shortly after.

"Edward told us you're hiding from her." Emmett laughed. I did notice however even though he was making fun of me he didn't say her name. Edward nodded.

"You are our brother. We will physically keep her out if you want us to." Edward said confirming my thought.

"Don't think the guys are the only ones who would either." Alice called from the hallway.

"I may not like you, but you'd do the same for me." Rosalie called also from the halls. Apparently the whole Cullen family wouldn't fit in my house.

"I don't know what I want, I want this not to be messed up but there is no chance of that happening." My eyes turned to Edward.

"You knew she was here didn't you?" He nodded. I was reeling.

"You read it from some ones mind, that's why you guys out of the blue invited me along." Once again Edward nodded in response.

"Are you mad?" Edward asked, Jasper knew I wasn't, actually it was far nicer then I deserved.

"What did I do to deserve friends and family like you?" I said looking them in the eyes.

"For me it started with the shopping." Alice called from outside the door, Rosalie shushed her, and I laughed.

"You were always there for me." Jacob said crossing his arms.

"You always were a good person, I can read your thoughts, and you're a good person, besides the occasional insult to myself or Bella." he said shrugging and leaning against the wall.

"I personally liked the jokes you made against Bella and Edward, no you've always been up for a challenge or a game, and you don't cheat like Edward or Alice." Emmett said.

"You don't smell as bad as Jacob." Rosalie commented from outside the door.

"From you, I'll take that as a complement." I responded, knowing full well she could hear me through the closed door.

"Nessie really loves you, you're a good person." I heard Bella's voice. _Was the whole family going to go through their personal testament?_

"Probably." Edward responded to my thoughts. Renesmee opened the door and smiled.

"You don't hold back like Jacob does." Renesmee's smiles were contagious.

"Your intentions are pure, you struggle like everyone else but you strive to remain morally balanced for the most part." That was Carlisle.

"You've done so much for this family I wouldn't know where to start." Esme gushed from outside the door. My eyes turned to Jasper, I guess he was the last one left.

"Eh, I just like you for your car." Jasper said smiling. I laughed back, if there was anyone I'd given anything to in the family it was Jasper, and I didn't even think I gave him anything.

"This feels really awkward, is the whole family crowded around the door or something?"

"No silly, we're spread out across the hall way." Alice answered laughing. I smiled

"She's here." Edward responded. The room emptied, leaving Jasper in the room with me.

"You can always jump out the window if you want." Jasper suggested opening the window next to him.

Leah's POV

This had to be the Cullens house, the land around it, how the trees surrounded it giving it cover, this was just like near forks. _You are looking for similarities, so you'll find them_. _Shut the fuck up_. I neared the front porch and a girl who looked probably nine or ten years old was there. _Holy shit, that's Renesmee_. She spread her arms as if to protect the house from me.

"You can't come in, you're the reason he sometimes cries himself to sleep." Her eyes were fierce. _Embry cries himself to sleep because of me?_ That hurt too much, how could I have done that to Embry. I needed to see him.

"Ness, you're not going to stop me, I need to see him." I was ready to force the issue if I needed to.

"You can go past, but first you must see what you've done to him." _What did she mean?_

"I'll show you. Then you can go past me." I bent down and Renesmee reached for me. Her hand touched my cheek and colors flew threw my head, stopping at Jacob in the bed at the Cullens. He looked around the room. "Where is Leah?" he asked, every one shifted uncomfortably." Then her eyes led me to the moment he read the note, stopping on the look on his face. I winced in pain. _You deserve this, you bitch_. _The least you can do is watch it and stop complaining_. I was right, I did deserver this. The vision spun to Embry crying with Jasper across from him. "I think I really loved her… I was going to tell her before all of this happened, I was ten minutes late." _Is that what he meant when he said 'Ten minutes late' today? Oh no!_ Then it turned to crack in the door, there was a muffled noise, the door opened slightly. Embry was whimpering to himself. "Embry?" the small voice, Renesmee's voice "No Lee, don't leave me, I need you." Embry said turning over. The picture changed but showed the same thing, Embry crying, this time with the door wide open, he was wearing different pants, then again different clothes. _He cried himself to sleep this many times? _I immediately felt guilty. I felt the small hand pull away from my cheek and I was relieved, my eyes were red. _This was all my fault_.

"You may pass me." she said stepping to the side. _What do you me she may pass me? Will I need to pass other Cullens?_ I opened the door and all the Cullens were standing there waiting for me, save Jasper, he was no where to be seen. I didn't see Jacob, I had assumed he was living with them too. Alice disappeared up the stairs and Emmett sat down on the steps. None of the others had moved. Rosalie rolled her eyes. I wondered why but I didn't ask, I hesitated moving towards the stairs, it looked as if Emmett was protecting the upstairs from me.

"If you break him again I won't let you near him." He said turning his side letting me by. I slowly made my way up the stairs as the Cullens stared. Alice was standing waiting.

"I told them to trust you, don't misplace my trust." She said disappearing. Jacob was sitting against the wall, not blocking the way, I could have walked past him but I stopped he looked up at me.

"Hey…" he didn't say my name either, I guess no one did around Embry anymore. _Did I really have that lasting affect on him? Of course you did he loved you_. _Meaning he doesn't anymore? He shouldn't but he probably does, you bitch_. My eyes met his.

"I don't know where to start with you, You broke my trust, you left the pack without a word, you were my beta, I trusted you more then anyone in the pack and you turned your back on us without saying good bye. This isn't about us. I can forgive you for running away." He stopped himself and took a deep breath. "Don't break Embry again." He stood up looking down on me and slowly walked away back down the stairs. I followed Embry's scent to the last door in the hallway. I looked down then back up and Jasper was in front of it, definitely blocking the way, unlike his siblings he didn't look like he planned on just turning and letting me through.

"I told him he didn't need to talk to you, that I'd physically keep you away if I needed to, he said that he'd need to sooner or later either way." He was uncomfortable.

"I still don't want to let you through." he said as if talking to himself. I didn't know what to say, I wouldn't move if I was in his position either. Jasper turned his head as if to hear something inside the room that I hadn't.

"I'll kill you if you fuck him up bad again." He said staring in to my eyes. _With most people that'd be an idol threat_.

"I know you will." He turned to the side laboriously. He sighed and disappeared like the rest of his family had. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Embry's POV

I could hear the door open but I didn't turn to look at it, I knew it was her. She followed me here. _She is too persistent to not find me_. I sighed and turned around accepting my fate what ever it would be. Her eyes were red from crying, matching mine.

"I told them not to do that, but there wasn't any stopping Jasper, Jacob didn't want you here either, Alice wanted you to talk to me, the rest didn't know what to do, Ness got really mad at you." I explained quickly. _Why did I tell her all that? You ramble when you're nervous, duh_.

"Why is she mad at me?" She asked even her red eyes couldn't do much to detract from her beauty.

"She just didn't quite understand, she is a bit too logical." I answered. I didn't want to talk here I felt like the whole thing was being listened to. It probably was.

"Can we go for a walk." She had a guarded look in her eye, like she assumed I was going to run away.

"Come on, I thought you'd still think you're faster then me." she snorted offhandedly in response to my accusation.

"I am, still faster then you." my eyes turned to the window. I waved goodbye to her and jumped out the window, landing loud as I could on the ground, I turned over and laid on the grass, I couldn't understand quite why I had, but I guess I just was tired and emotionally I'd been through too much, and it wasn't probably going to get better. I looked at the kitchen there stood most the Cullen family with disapproving looks, Jasper looked slightly amused. Leah looked down at me also wearing an amused look on her face. _Yes I was thinking with her name again, I might as well get used to it_. She jumped down her feet landing on either side of my hip. _That was kind of hot_ I thought to myself. She sat on my stomach looking at me raising her eyebrow. _That was definitely hot_, I noted to myself. I didn't move, I was comfortable, she wasn't even putting that much of her weight on me. Her hand reached up and brushed the side of my face, _Yep, definitely hot_. _Embry come on, that's pretty weak_. _I can't help it I haven't seen her in too long_.

"Get a room." Jacob yelled from the kitchen. I blushed bright red, Leah didn't she just stared at me. Emmett whistled.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" She asked seductively. _Shit there goes my game plan_. Leah smiled happy to have thrown me off, she knew it too.

"Don't you want to go somewhere a bit more private?" I didn't know how to respond, it was nearly everything I could not to tackle her and make out with her.

"Yes… it'd be nice to go some where else to talk." I stuttered out, she laughed at that. She hadn't moved yet.

"You do know there is a viewing audience on the other side of the glass right?" she rolled her eyes. It apparently didn't bother her but I wasn't sure about what was happening.

"Let them watch." _Wait, watch what?_ I thought before she pulled me by my shirt up to her and softly kissed me. Without consciously deciding to do so my arms wrapped themselves around her back. It took me a second and then I shook my head released my arms and pushed her off me. Soon she was suspended in the air by my arms.

"No…" I told her as if I was talking to a preschooler. She smiled hanging there in the air.

"You know you want to."

"At the very least, not in front of my family." Emmett was laughing from inside the house, I could hear him clearly. Without much effort I tossed her in the air with a bench press. I got up to one knee before catching her in my arm.

"Sexy." She cooed in to my ear before kissing my neck. _Damn, come on Embry, think of something else. Get your head straight_. Her kisses were shots of ecstasy in my veins. I sighed. Her face feigned innocence. I forced myself to stand up and put her down, each fiber of my body protesting.

"No, we're going somewhere to talk." I said convincing myself as much as her. I started to walk and heard a groan from Emmett.

"Pay up." Jasper called from behind, looks like Emmett had lost the bet.

I don't know how it happened, I knew I had intended on coming out here to talk, but talking was something we were not quite getting around to. I think it started when she tackled me in to the tree I am now leaning up against. Yes, that's how it started, she forced me in to a corner and kissed me with the passion of months lost. She seemed smaller then I remembered her, but once again it was more likely due to the fact that I'd worked out and gotten bigger once again. I gently rubbed my up and down her back. One of her hands was running through my hair and the other had slipped under my tight shirt, relearning the surface of my back. I followed her lead doing the same. Something was wrong. I pulled myself back and took a look at her, a good look at her.

I feared her, her small beautiful frame, the woman of my dreams. The heartbreaker, I couldn't stop myself from loving her. I couldn't even remember why I wasn't making out with her right now. _Boyfriend, she's taken_. I took a deep breath. We had run far enough to be out of all their hearing range. She wrapped her arms around me and tears rolled down my face. _Am I about to do this? Make her choose? It's not wrong is it? No it isn't_._ You just might need to live with the fact that she might not pick you_. It was impossible to let go this was everything I missed, the safety, the protection, knowing some one needed me, to some one so important to me I was irreplaceable. I flinched my body stopping. _You're not irreplaceable to her_. She felt my body stiffen and loosened her grip coming to my front seeing the tears in my eyes. I could see it in her eyes, she wanted to know why I was crying but wasn't stupid enough to ask, she knew it was her fault. I was in a situation, I had made out with and she was going out with some one else, did that give me the right to condemn her? _Of course not, now kiss her_. _There are more important things in my life then making out with her_. _Name three_. I thought, I struggled then ignored the challenge. _You know you want this, you want her more then anything_. _And when she walks away and doesn't need me to make out with her, then what, I just walk away?_ I knew I had finally won my fight. I finally focused on her eyes, I needed to say what I needed to say, I couldn't back out of this, it'd only hurt me in the end.

"Leah, you know I need you, right?" she nodded quickly not quite sure where I was going with it. I would regret this, rather my body would, I wanted more of her, I wanted all of her.

"I want this as much as you do, maybe more." She rolled her eyes, _she doesn't have anything holding her back, I do_. She didn't believe me.

"Leah, I want you to break up with your boyfriend… I don't know where that will leave us. I want to give us another chance." She looked hurt immediately. _Did she really think I'd be okay with just being her sex toy that won't have sex with her?_ Her arms grabbed either of my shoulders.

"Embry, can't we worry about that another time?" _Just listen to her, come on she wants what you want give in, screw her brains out, you said so yourself you regretted not doing it_. I shook my head regrettably.

"I want this too, but I won't like you tomorrow if we do this tonight, and you go back to him tomorrow." Every syllable hurt, every single one ripped me apart. She looked at me trying to respect my wishes, but deep down I saw something in her eye that screamed I betrayed her. I knew I did what was right for me, and most likely her, but I couldn't help but regret it.

"I need to leave, I need to think Embry" I handed her my cell phone number.

"Call me if you want to talk." She sighed as she began to walk away.

"Leah I want you to know you mean so much more to me then this. I understand if you walk away and don't come back." I said painfully.

"But what about you Embry?" she asked and I took a deep breath looking over the Sauk River, it was a beautiful opening I'd brought her to.

"I'll be here."

"Why?"

"I'll be waiting here."

"For what?"

"I'll be waiting here for you, so, if you come here you'll find me. I promise."

**READ THIS BEFORE YOU SUE ME, I didn't write the "I'll be here" quote until "I promise." It came from a video game, if any one can name where it came from I'll be EXTREMELY impressed, it's a very awesome story based game…**

**Now my author note, I thought that quote would be a great way to end the chapter, it's so beautiful (yeah I'm still a guy, and straight) Ideas, love notes, rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, thumbs up, reviews… you know the deal. **


	12. Which to bury us or the hatchet?

**Which to Bury; us or the hatchet?**

**Disclaimer: I am definitely not Stephenie Meyer**

**Disclaimer deuce: I'm running on low for material I've already written I'm going to slow down the writing now… more reviews equals faster writing**

Embry's POV

Has it only been a week? It could have been a year, my body every part of me screams for her. I needed her like I needed the air. I didn't ask for her phone number cause I knew I'd collapse two days later; I resented the fact that she didn't. I resented the fact that she hadn't once called me. Once again we were staying home from school. _Why not go see her? A little thing called pride_. _Where the hell has pride gotten you? She knows I need her, apparently she doesn't need me_. _I told her I'd leave her life, she left me, she chose David, I don't care I need to fucking fight for her, I'm going to see her_. I had made my decision, I was going to go see her. I started for the garage. I didn't tell the Cullens, I'd call when I left, I'd apologize and ask for forgiveness, especially Jasper. I made him promise.

* * *

(flash back)

Leah had just left, I missed her already, pathetic I know. Jasper was waiting for me on the porch, as if he didn't mind, of course he didn't he was an amazing person. I stopped for a moment the turned to him

"Jasper, I told her I'd let her decide between David and I. I might get weak, you need to stop me, even if I'll hate you for it."

"I promise I'll protect you from yourself, I'd protect you from her too if you'd let me, but I know you won't."

"I might hate you because of it." I told him truthfully. He smiled.

"I know, but I'll do that for you either way. Because that's the friend you need, not the friend you want."

* * *

(present day)

No I'd personally apologize to Jasper, he'd feel horrible for not stopping me, but then again how would he have known. I was out in the garage, I was prepared to take my bike but the front wheel was missing. _Probably one of the Cullen's wanted to work on it_. It didn't matter I'd just take my car. I stepped in and turned the key but it didn't turn. _That's odd, I've never had ANY car problems before_. I sighed climbing out of the car. I popped the hood and looked under. I was missing a car battery. I shut the hood softly, I wasn't going to take my anger out on my car. Jasper was at my side.

"Hey Embry what's up?" he was relaxed, as if nothing was different then any other day. He was so good I almost believed he hadn't removed my car battery and taken my front wheel of my bike.

"So what brings you out to the garage?" I asked Jasper. His reply was a nonchalant shrug, as if he had nothing to do with my misfortune.

"Just making sure my friend doesn't do something he would regret." I sighed, I couldn't win this fight, but I could still probably out run him, if I got past him to get outside… they wouldn't follow me outside, not in direct sunlight. Jasper's watched my eyes move to the door.

"You won't make it, I'm still much faster then you when you're not a werewolf." _Maybe I'll try my luck, just once_. I took a step forward then broke in to a sprint, I tripped. I caught my self with my hands on the ground. _What did I trip on? I haven't tripped since I was a new werewolf_. I made my way back to my feet and Jasper was between myself and the door. _Did he really move THAT fast? Was that what was moving out of the corner of my eye? Holy shit he's fast_. I was embarrassed, no one had simply made a fool of me like that. Anger started to raise up in me, not nearly enough to overpower me. I didn't even come close to phasing. I didn't lose my temper often, today would be no exception.

"Damn it Jasper, let me see her, I'm a fucking nineteen year old going on twenty five." Immediately I saw the irony in my statement.

"And I'm one hundred sixty six going on twenty" I blinked for a moment, I'd never heard his age, that would make him the second oldest Cullen by age.

"Damn it Jasper I hate you." he laughed.

"And I care about you too much to let you fuck yourself over like that, besides you made me promise, even if you'd hate me." I sighed, he was right.

"I still hate you." he chuckled at ease.

"I know."

Leah's POV

I couldn't do much of anything. I needed him but I didn't want to lose David either. Harley sat across from me in his home. Trying to talk to me but I was losing it again.

"How could he do this to me?" Harley looked slightly disgusted but he hid it well. He took a moment to relax himself.

"What he is doing is completely rationale, did you expect him to be your booty call when you went out with Dave." That remark did hurt. _It hurt but that is what you wanted_. _You saw how much it hurt him when you walked away, you chose Dave over him_. _I didn't chose Dave over Embry_. _By not breaking up with him and going to Embry, that's what it looked like from his view_.

"But I need Embry, and I don't want to lose Dave either." Harley seemed hard pressed to keep his emotions off his face.

"This isn't fair." I mumbled immediately hoping he didn't hear that, he did though.

"You think it's unfair to _you_? Embry is waiting for you while you go out with someone else." Harley was struggling to keep his tone in check.

"And if that's not bad enough even if you pick him it'll look like he was your second choice, because it took you that long." I looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand. It was his phone number. _I wanted to call it, but what would I tell him? I just called to say I miss you, and when he asks if I broke up with Dave? No Dave and I are still going out_.

"Dave and I are more like friends, why can't Embry see that." Harley shrugged next to me.

"Then just be friends." Harley responded playing with a pen in his fingers. _I don't want that, I want it to be how it is_.

"But I like how it is." Harley was getting very frustrated, how he controlled himself I still didn't know.

"Then walk never call Embry, live happily ever after with Dave, what the fuck ever." The sarcasm didn't go unnoticed. His father came in from washing dishing, he didn't seem to judge me, but he heard everything.

"Do you think what I'm doing is bad?" I asked him honestly hoping for some guidance

"There is no good, there is no bad. Just perspective and opinion." He said not quite looking me in the eye.

"But what do you think?" I asked hoping to get a better perspective. He stopped and looked at me for a moment before speaking.

"Don't look to others for knowledge, this is your story." He left the room. And once again his words had me miffed.

"What he means is the answer you're looking for is in you. Others will steer you where their interest lie. Others can't help you. This is your life, are you who you want to be?" They both gave me a lot to think about but in the end, like his father said no one else could help me. _I needed Dave right now, I need him to help me_. _I need Embry too, but I don't want him to wait for me_. I thought to myself I'd made my decision, I'd go out with Dave. _What about everyone else?_ _This is my story_.

Embry's POV

School days drudged on, all the same. Every so often Becky would try to talk to me. I wanted to be polite but I was getting frustrated, my fuse was short now these days. I struggled to stay calm all the time. Civil War History was my only reprieve from the hell of school, usually Jasper and I laughed our asses off. I took the wrong door leaving. I stopped something wasn't right. I heard a sound and felt a wooden bat hitting my back. I didn't fall. It wasn't nearly swung hard enough to knock me down. I turned and saw Becky's boyfriend still holding the bat. _Bad idea_… I thought as anger starting rising in me. Four of his friends shared his same expression of fear. I could see it in their eyes. Something like _'Oh fuck that didn't knock him down!'_ Each of his friends had either a bat or a hockey stick. The one to his right charged at me swinging his bat. I caught it with my left hand then lifted him up by the throat with my right. I twisted the bat out of his hand and tossed him in to the side of the building. I flipped the bat in my hand so I had it by the handle. The jealous boyfriend swung at me again but I swung harder, breaking his bat in half with mine. I wound up and swung taking a shot at his stomach. I held back, I didn't want to but if I didn't he could have died. He joined his friend also against the wall of the school. I stared down his other friends who all turned and ran. _Cowards, every single one of them_ I thought. I despised people like that, who didn't have the courage to fight even when it wasn't tipped in their favor. They were just common bullies.

"Listen." I said trying to remember his name, I couldn't. What did his name matter anyway?

"Dumb Jock, I don't want your girl friend she's a skank. Now if you leave me alone we won't have any more problems, but if you don't I'm going to break that pretty little face of yours." Hopefully he'd shut up and leave me alone from now on. Edward was at my side, pulling on my shoulder. I guess I was choking the kid. I wasn't that mad at him, I was just frustrated, and this guy pushed too hard.

"Come on Emb, let's get out of here." He said not rushed but worried. I nodded letting him go. As we made it to the car everyone was waiting wearing worried looks.

I hadn't realized how much danger I put my family in until we got home, Rosalie was explaining very impatiently. I was immediately sorry. _How the fuck could you do that, first they take you in and fix you up and now you're fucking over their family? Maybe I should run away? Yes that'd be better for their family_.

"You aren't going anywhere, besides the fact you're still family you disappearing would only raise more suspicion, no you're probably going to have make nice with the jocks and shit." If that was all, I could do that. I would handle that, it was the very least I could do for the family that took me in.

"I'm sorry, I never thought… I didn't mean to." I said stumbling over my words.

"You really are a screw up." Rosalie continued attacking me.

"You know he's not the only one who has slipped up, and I didn't have a good excuse for it." Jasper said coming to my defense, which only made me feel guiltier. Rosalie stopped immediately. Those were lines even she wouldn't cross. An awkward silence spread through the house, I was the only one uncomfortable. I needed to get away from everyone for a little bit, I hadn't played my drum set in a couple days. I headed down avoiding the fate that was coming to me.

Eventually sooner or later I'd need to make good with the school. I didn't want to face that. I broke in to a Jazz beat on the drum set, a slow sensual rhythm. I relaxed in to it, adding fills. I liked the sound of it, but I didn't know where to go from there. The door to the upstairs opened I was surprised. Edward appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Edward turned to the TV pressing the record button. He stood their as if waiting for enough time to listen to my drum part. He walked over to the key board at a normal speed. He played only a couple notes at first, then kept building and some how he'd made a full Piano accompaniment for my drum part.

"Emmett" he said slightly above a speaking voice, with the door closed. Emmett opened it and if he knew the recorder he was on he made his way down the stairs at a human speed. He was at Edward's side and Edward was whispering in to his ear. He nodded and walked over to pick up his Bass guitar, Jasper came down the stairs. He wasn't called, he simply made his way down the basement. Besides calling Emmett down, and talking to him no one had said a word. Jasper picked up his electric guitar and plugged it in. Jasper started playing a basic rift, feeling his way in to a song. Edward took the lead, playing a more complete melody. His eyes turned to Jasper and Jasper mimicked the melody on guitar. After a couple times through the full melody with Jasper, Edward stopped. He looked up thoughtfully as if trying to decide. The song sounded good. Edward smiled as he played a very complicated but soft counter melody. I knew we'd been doing this for at least fifteen minutes, since I started anyway. Jasper slowed down and ended the song with Edward.

"Wow." I said not knowing what else could describe the song we just played. With Edward's counter melody the song sounded amazing. Edward walked to the TV turning off the recording pulling out the DVD. He sped up the stairs, now completely sure that he wouldn't get caught running too fast. He returned with a sharpie. He scribbled in his perfect script "Embry's Call" Emmett snickered at the name. Edward put it in a DVD case next to the first couple songs together.

I smiled getting up from my drum set. There was pizza on the table, two boxes were empty, I guess Jacob already came by, I grabbed the two other boxes and took them up to my room. I placed my ipod on the jack they Cullens got me hooking it up to the nice sound system in my room, all of which I protesting them getting me but they refused to budge on it, especially Alice, I think she was sitting I was weak against her rapid fire attack of gifts. I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics as I devoured the pizza in front of me, then the songs lyrics caught my mind.

"Make your decision and don't you dare think twice  
go with your instincts along with some bad advice  
this isn't the way I wanted it to turn out at all  
you're blaming me, but some of this is still your fault  
I tried to move you but you just wouldn't budge  
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge  
I think you know what I'm getting at

You said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that.

No I don't hate you. Don't want to fight you

Know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you

No I don't hate you. Don't want to fight you

Know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you"

I laughed at the irony. How perfectly did that song describe it? I turned off my music before anything else could come up that would peg the situation again. I tried to think of anything but her, so naturally she's the only thing I could think about. I knew I had to work on my home work but I couldn't get over how everything always seemed to come around to screw me over. Why did those bullies pick when I was too mad to take it to attack? Why did she have to pick him over me? _Shut up Embry! _I forced myself to relax.Know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you.

**(The lyrics in the chapter are from a song, I don't own it. The name of the song is**

'**Which to bury; us or the hatchet?' by Relient K)**

**So yeah, I'm going to need to start writing again… because now I ran out of stuff to re-edit, I'm probably not going to get to writing again till Sunday, I don't know… but if you want me to write more send me love in review form, because reviews make the world go round. Send reviews, rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, thumbs ups, comments, questions, concerns to me…**


	13. Seven AM and Thanksgiving preperations

**Disclaimer: What's crackin' little bitches, still not Stephenie Meyer… I want Transformers 2 to come out….**

**Disclaimer deuce: sorry for how that disclaimer went, it's something like this chapter, it needs to be there to get a couple of key things done, but I'll need to come back and rewrite it later, it might be my worse chapter ever.**

Embry's POV

My cell phone was ringing. _Who is calling me at seven A.M.? _I thought not recognizing the caller since ring tone wasn't for one of the Cullens. I shook my head out waking up.

"Hello?" I responded still waking up.

"Hey, Embry I'm sorry for waking you up." I recognized that voice, I was awake immediately.

"Lee, what's up?" I asked trying to sound causal, trying to sound like I hadn't been waiting for this call since the moment she left. _What's up Embry? Come on, that's dumb even for you, you know exactly why she's calling_.

"Embry, I've decided I'm going to go out with Dave, I'm sorry, but I didn't think it'd be good to see you again, this is too hard on both of us." Any hope, any trust, and aspirations for the day dropped straight off after that statement. I didn't say anything.

"Embry?" Leah asked as if she didn't know I was there. _She can hear me breath from the other side of the phone, she knows I'm here_.

"Embry are you okay?" I struggled to silence the laugh that came out. _Am I okay? You just broke my heart again, and you're asking if I'm okay? Could she be that dumb? Is it even logically possible? Of course I'm not fucking okay! _I wanted to say everything. I wanted to scream at her.

"What do you want me to say? Have your fucking happily ever after?" I said holding back what I really wanted to say.

"Bye Leah." I said before anything else could slip up. I hung up on her. To me it meant you didn't care at all about that person anymore, well I cared more then anything, but I couldn't listen to her anymore.

* * *

(some weeks later)

I had just remembered Thanksgiving was next week and I was serious when I said we should do something as a pack. I flipped open my phone, it was eight in the morning but I knew Sam would be awake by now. I dialed his number trying to remember it, but not sure if I got it right.

"What!" a very annoyed Sam answered. I quickly realized it was six A.M. there.

"I'm sorry Sam! I'll call back later sorry." I said tripping over apologies.

"Call? Embry Call is that you?" His voice was immediately softer.

"Yeah it's me." I could hear Emily in the back round she sounded excited. _Why is she excited, if I get my way I'll never once see her_. _Too bad you're not getting your way_. I knew I was right, I'd be hard enough to sell Jacob on leaving Nessie for that long of a time.

"So how have you been?" he asked now completely awake.

"Yeah, I was thinking Jacob and I should come back for thanksgiving, and well it'd be nice to do something with all the packs and stuff."

"Yeah sounds great, when should you two be arriving?"

"Well I don't know, I just kind of thought about it right now so I figured I'd call, I forgot it's two hours earlier back there, sorry."

"No problem Embry, we'll be waiting for your arrival." Sam sounded excited, I had to admit I was too. I don't think I've called the pack since I left, sure I tried to call my mother once a week, but she didn't like me being so far away. I understood that so I called her every week. Jasper was at my side, sensing my good mood, happier then I'd been since, well before I found her in Minnesota.

"What's up, why you so excited?"

"I want to go back to La Push for Thanksgiving it's been a long time since I've seen the guys and well, it'd be fun." Jasper nodded, he was for anything that would make me happy.

"Have you talked to Jacob?" I sighed shaking my head.

"I was kind of hoping to make it an imprint free event, but I don't know how he'll take it." Jasper shrugged and Jacob bounded down the stairs still not fully awake.

"There is one way to find out." Jasper turned to Jacob.

"Hey, Embry wants to go spend time with the pack over thanksgiving, just you and him." My mouth dropped open, that wasn't like Jasper at all. Jacob seemed to struggle with it, and Ness ran down the stairs and pulled at Jacobs pants.

"You go have fun with Emb." Jacob wanted to protest but Renesmee put her hands on her hips and pushed her lip out defiantly, she was so cute when she was trying to be stern. Jacob gave in, he couldn't resist her. He couldn't deny her anything she wanted, even if it was him to go away.

* * *

Alice had packed everything we would need, and bought us plane tickets, I couldn't believe we were going to be landing in Washington in the next fifteen minutes. It was amazing. I'd never been on an airplane before. Everything under me looked small, petty, as if it didn't matter… and yet each and everyone one of those cars carried some one who had worries and problems just like me. _Well not just like me_. I thought chuckling to myself. We stepped out of the terminal and waiting for us was Sam. I suppose it made sense, but we were just going to run back. We both greeted Sam with large hugs that would have cracked a couple ribs of a normal person. We made our ways back to Sam's car. Everyone must have assumed we were related, we were all freakishly large, and freakishly muscular. It was as if none of the problems that had happened ever existed. We were greeted by Sam's pack plus Quil. I did notice Seth was missing. Sam saw the look in my face, realizing we were missing one.

"Yeah Seth isn't here yet, he's got some stuff to take care of, he said he'd meet us at the park." I smiled, _Maybe this imprint free thing will work out?_ As a large pack now we started jogging, Sam in the lead, some of the pack jostled for the second place behind him but Jacob and I didn't. We reached the edge of a basketball court. It'd been so long since I played basketball.

Sam smiled looking at me and threw me the ball, I hadn't played basketball since I became a werewolf, the hoop seemed so much lower now. _Wait a second, I bet I can dunk! _I thought grinning.

I looked behind me to make sure no one was watching. Quil laughed obviously he knew what was going on. I sighed and bounded towards the net a bit too excited. I managed to clear the backboard jumping past it. I heard the pack breaking in to laughter. I saw Seth in the distance. My last memories of him were of him hiding from me, obviously he knew where she was and didn't want to tell me. I turned around and made for the other side of the hope, the one that wasn't surrounded by the pack. I dunked on in landing hard on my feet. Seth had joined the rest of us and we made an informal circle.

"Here's the plan, tomorrow Thanksgiving Day, will mark the first annual Olympic Peninsula games." Sam said grinning. I liked the sound of that. I heard some cheers from the wolves.

"The games will be refereed by the Elders of the tribe." Sam said continuing on his plan he'd obviously been thinking of since I called him.

"I was hoping these games could be a four day event, but right now all I've got for games is the hot dog eating contest, pack versus pack basketball, rock put, and the five mile sprint." I chuckled at the last part, five mile sprint was right. _This could be lots of fun_. I thought to myself as I effortlessly put the ball between my legs in air before dunking. Sam looked at me amused.

"And we can have a Slam dunk contest."

**I know this is a really short chapter, and stuff, but I need more ideas for the games… PLEASE PLEASE review and give me ideas for the Olympic Peninsula games… I know this is kind of a jarred chapter with lots of jumping back and forth but I figured it needed to happen. Make sure to check my poll, it will DIRECTLY affect my next chapter… and my story so answer it if you want to see the story how YOU want to see it. so in conclusion, give me reviews, twenty dollar bills, love notes, high fives, thumbs up, and of course reviews! (AND GAME IDEAS)**


	14. Isn't it Ironic? Don't you think?

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer created Twilight, I am not Stephenie Meyer. Therefore I did not create Twilight.**

**Disclaimer deuce: I think it's funny that all the characters I make you're made to hate.**

Leah's POV

My mother wasn't home, Billy Black wasn't home. I headed over to Sam's house hoping they'd have a clue where some one was. _Hasn't any one heard of a cell phone? Like you'd have their number_. I thought it was ironic that I had planned on making my big entrance and everyone was gone already. I knocked on the door that once would have been mine. Emily answered it stepping out to hug me immediately, I used to just push her off, I didn't want her to hug me, but I figured I'd be nice. _Woah, when did Leah Clearwater become nice? _I thought frustrated _Embry Call_. _At least I wouldn't have to deal with Embry or Jacob here, I could spend some time with the pack, explain why I left_. Emily looked slightly conflicted.

"Well all the wolves went down to the park for some games." I nodded why did she look like there was something she wasn't telling me.

"Is Sam okay?" I asked wondering if something had been wrong with Sam lately she was acting off.

"No, but they are planning a whole Olympic Peninsula Games." She rolled her eyes.

"No imprints allowed." That was the part frustrated Emily, obviously. I laughed, it sounded like something Embry would make up. _It was probably Seth, it's been too long since I've seen him, I came here to surprise him and the pack, plus since I know Embry's in Minnesota this won't be a deal_.

"Thanks Emily." I said turning to leave, I had just phased and ran across the states over the last couple of days because I didn't need anything besides the clothes on my back, I had enough left at home. I turned and headed straight for the park. If the pack was there my family mom probably was there, or with Mr. Swan. I cringed internally. _You need to get used to it, it might become more_. I tried to jog at a human speed to the park. I was pushing it just a bit fast though. Glare was in my eyes from the sun, but I saw the pack on the basketball court.

"Need an extra player?" their eyes all turned to me. Most of their mouths were open, Seth's wasn't. He sprinted to me and gave me a big hug. The pack exchanged looks obviously not knowing what to think.

"We're not really playing what with the packs how they are." Jared said before Sam shut him up. I didn't like what was going on. My eyes turned to Seth.

"Where's mom?"

"She's at a meeting with the other elders, and Ms. Call." Sam shot Seth a look that didn't escape my notice. I didn't want to cause problems.

"Where are they?" Sam shifted uncomfortably.

"They're at the Calls." He answered reluctantly.

Embry's POV

We walked through the door at my house. The elders turned to us, their eyes widened unexpectedly, my mom was the first to react, running to my side.

"Mom, I told you I was coming home." I told her. I didn't tell her that my home was with the Cullens, there was no need to be cruel. Jacob picked his dad out of his wheel chair for a hug before setting him back in his wheelchair softly. I moved to Billy Black. Shaking his hand.

"Good to see you Dad." I said with an air of cockiness. He blushed red. Jacob back handed me and I laughed.

"Guess you never heard I'm an Alpha huh?" I turned to my mother who was giving me a very disappointed look. Sue Clearwater on the other hand found the whole thing slightly amusing. I rolled my eyes at my biological father.

"Oh come on Billy, you really thought that I magically became a werewolf? You know descendents are the only one who can phase." Sue Clearwater seemed to be enjoying this a bit too much.

"Well Sue it was your daughter who pointed it out." Sue's smirk disappeared instantly. It was my turn to smirk. Jacob pulled me to the couch hoping I'd done my damage for the day. I had restrained myself for the most part. Over the next hour we talked about everything, but mostly the Elders filled us in that nothing has really happened since we left. They didn't say it like that, but that's what it meant. We told them about how there were at least five times as many mosquitoes there. The door opened.

"Hey everyone I'm back" _She's here? Why is she here?_ I hadn't turned around to confirm it was her but I didn't need to I heard her voice.

"Holy shit!" she said as I turned around and she saw Jacob and I. She turned and ran almost immediately. I stood up for a second to get her then my eyes turned to Sue Clearwater, as if asking for approval.

"Are you kidding? Get my daughter back!" she yelled at me. I hopped the couch and Jacob ran around it. We bounded out the door after her. I hoped she didn't make straight for the trees to phase, stopping her in form would be much harder. She hadn't. she was still running on the road. I caught up to her. We were running a lot faster then what was safe. I jumped and grabbed her around the waist falling to the pavement. In midair a spun so my back would get it and not her. I caught the pavement and her and I didn't move. Right now I was happy. I had my arms around her again. And for a short moment I could fool myself in to thinking she didn't want me far away from her. She turned her body to face me in my tight clutch of her. She was looking down at me trying to hold a stern look on her face, but she faltered laughing. The look she gave me was one that confused me. It looked like she wanted to kiss me but couldn't with Jacob next to me. I grinned, she slapped me. I stood up in pain. Leah released herself from me. She took a step behind me and gasped.

"Embry, we need to get you back to your house fast, my mom can help you she's a nurse." I didn't understand but my back hurt, so I guessed it had to do with the fact that my back was burning.

"What are you talking about?" I said not sure what happened. She stepped in front of me and pulled my shirt off me from the front, meaning the entire back of my shirt had been rubbed off on the pavement. I winced, _Was it that bad?_

"We better get moving before your skin heals over it…" Leah said rushing me to run. I followed her lead and Jacob fell behind me.

"Damn Embry, you really did take a bad spill." He said running at our side. _She's right here_. _This might be a dream_. I reached out and touched her arm. She turned to me questioningly.

"Nothing, just trying to figure something out." _Did you just do that? You are such a idiot, if this was your dream you would be holding her, she'd love you_. Yeah this wasn't a dream, this isn't how I'd want it. We were in front of my old home. Leah spun me around and showed my back, some people winced but Billy laughed.

"Looks like you really did a number on him Clearwater." Billy laughed.

"Leah, you're cleaning this out, for doing this to him." Leah protested but Quil senior laughed and interrupted.

"How did this happen?" Jacob smiled behind me and stepped in front of Leah and myself. I turned to face the elders.

"Well Leah was running really fast, and Embry dove, tackled her. Then spun in air so he'd catch all the ground and Leah wouldn't." Something in Leah's eye realized something, as if she hadn't noticed that last part. Sue eyed Leah and she disappeared in to a bathroom looking for something.

"Where do you keep your tweezers?" She said coming out of the bathroom. My mother answered her but that's not what was on my mind. _Tweezers? I hate Tweezers, is there stuff embed in my back? _Leah returned with a bottle of peroxide and tweezers. Fear was clear on my face. She grinned evilly and made her way to me.

"There isn't enough room to do this here, I'm taking him back to my house." Leah told the elders who were still talking. We sprinted out the door and ran to her house it'd been a while, I hadn't been here since the night before the werebears.

"So why couldn't we use your room?" She asked walking inside the door. I shrugged.

"My mom is renting it out to someone else, it helps pay the bills." I said as if defending her.

"Lay down on your stomach and try not to move." I did so, I almost asked her to be soft on me, but it would have been in vain, if she wanted to be hard on me she would be, whether I asked her to or not.

Leah's POV

I couldn't believe he was afraid of tweezers, he must be traumatized. _That was pretty nice of him to take all the fall so you took none_. _Oh shut up already_. _Like you didn't bring him back to your house so you could be alone as you fixed him up_. I grabbed the tweezers and pucked one piece of asphalt out of his lower back, he winced slightly. _Oh, he's going to love this_. I thought with a little vindictive pleasure pouring some hydrogen peroxide on his open cut. It fizzed up but he didn't even move, it seemed like it didn't cause him pain at all. My dark torturous side was slightly let down. I couldn't help but rub his back a little, I felt an immediate response, his body tensed for a second then relaxed.

I worked my way up his back pulling out each and every piece of asphalt and pouring peroxide on it. My hands ran up and down his back. He thought I was looking for stray pieces of gravel, I wasn't. I was enjoying this, no matter how short how little I got to, I would enjoy this moment. After about a minute of not finding anything in his back he came up to his elbows for a second. My arms rubbed between his shoulder blades on a thick knot. He groaned deeply and sighed dropping back to a completely relaxed position he was in before.

He was enjoying this as much as I was. _Are you kidding, he ENJOYED getting his back torn apart to get his arms around you_. That was really nice, kind of cute, very endearing, and _exactly_ something Embry would do. I wrapped my arms around his midsection, _who was I fooling? I need this guy_. He turned in my hug and looked up at me. Confusion was in his eyes, a silent argument, he really thought way too much. He was struggling against his own demons. His hand met my face and I leaned in to it, it was like being warm for the first time in months. I knew that was a horrible analogy but my body missed his. He leaned up and kissed me. I reacted instinctively and responded but stopped short on the side of his body. There were marks. _Those are scars from the werebears remember? _I told myself. I looked down and Embry's face betrayed his true feelings. He looked ashamed of himself. He pushed out from under me, I was protesting rather fiercely. He scanned the room. His eyes turned to one window that was open. _Oh great_. I thought and before I could move to stop him he bounded out and smoothly jumped through the window.

Embry's POV

_Embry you dumb ass why did you kiss her? didn't you see her reaction? You stupid idiot you knew she has a boy friend and you kissed her! I thought she wanted me to kiss her! _I still thought what I did was logical but I didn't allow my thoughts to agree with what I did, it was despicable, wrong… but so right. I bounded back in to my house, my back all but a distant memory. Jacob saw the look in my eye, the look of a running man. He was at my side.

"What's going on." I gave him a look that shut him up. I ran out of the room to grab a blanket and pillow, there wasn't any room in this house anyway.

"Nothing, I just want to avoid her as long as possible." I said forgetting Sue Clearwater was in the room.

"What did Leah do?" Sue asked obviously angry.

"Nothing it's my fault I screwed up, well I'm going to be here tomorrow, I just need to get my mind cleared before tomorrow." Sue wasn't completely convinced but it wasn't up to her.

"What are the blanket and pillow for?" Quil senior asked. Apparently he was the only one looking at this logically.

"Sleeping, I'll see you all tomorrow." I bounded out the back and Jacob followed closely behind me.

"I need to grab a new shirt my stuff is still at the court." Jacob put a hand out to stop me.

"I'll grab it for you Embry, listen sleep at my house tonight." I shook my head.

"Are you kidding me? their is barely room for you there, I'm not going to fit there… listen Jacob I can handle sleeping outside, I brought the blanket and pillow because I prefer not to sleep in form. I'll be fine, I'm a big werewolf." He rolled his eyes.

"Is that why you're running from a girl?" laughed and rolled my eyes.

"That ain't just a girl, that's Leah Clearwater." As if it being her made all the difference in the world, to me it did. Jacob seemed to understand.

"I'll meet you at the cliff."

Leah's POV

I ran back to the Call's home, I knew that's where he'd run but when I got in the door I realized he wasn't there, and everyone was giving me a look. The worse look by far was my mothers.

"Leah Danielle Clearwater, what the hell did you do to that kid?" it'd been a LONG time since my mom called me by my middle name. The other elders shared her same sentiment but none of them said anything.

"Do you know where he went?" I said ignoring question my mom asked. None of them responded. _Figures _I thought, I walked through the house trying to pick up a scent. I smelt him here, but couldn't follow his scent.

I made my way back to the park, the old pack plus my brother was finishing up their basketball game and getting ready for supper, apparently they were grilling at Sam's house. Jacob's scent was stronger here, as if he'd just came by.

"Was Jacob just here?" I asked the pack.

"Yeah sis, he grabbed his and Embry's stuff" a basketball hit Seth in the back of the head.

"Wow, so much for 'we promise not to tell her.' Sam quoted angrily."

"Hey I didn't tell her where he went." Quil growled after Seth.

"Only because you don't know." He shook his head.

"No, Jacob said something about a cliff." Seth said proudly. Quil was now in front of my brother staring him down.

"Shut up now, Embry deserves his time if he wants it." Seth looked away ashamed. _The cliff, he's at the cliff? Why didn't I think of that! _I thought turning and running away.

Embry's POV

I was jogging to a place to sleep, I'd drop my stuff off in the forest, go hunting for dinner then nod off to sleep, I'll get to dealing with everything else tomorrow, but tonight I was going to find my own answers, by myself. My phone buzzed in my pocket, it was Jasper. I flipped it open.

"Hey what's up?" I said trying to act as if nothing was wrong, as if I wasn't running from her again.

"Alice is starting to see visions of you, nothing concrete by any means, but she said she saw you sleeping outside with a blanket and pillow."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, well it was a bit unfocused, as if she couldn't quite see it, and she hasn't been able to see anything of Jacob's future yet, we're trying to figure that out." I nodded, I found this all extremely interesting.

"Wow, that's pretty interesting." I didn't want his questions to follow a certain line I was pretty sure they were about to cross.

"So, why are you sleeping outside tonight?" Jasper asked, amused more then concerned.

"Nothing really, there just isn't any room for me in the house, besides I'd rather sleep on grass then on wood floor." I lied smoothly, that was just an excuse, I didn't want to talk to any one, I just wanted tonight to think, and he wouldn't know any different.

"Okay, take care of yourself, if anything comes up you know I'll be on the next flight out." I smiled, that wasn't just an empty promise. He really meant it. I never understood what he said about being a horrible person. The guy had a heart of gold. _A heart that's made of gold can't really beat at all_. I said to myself thinking back 'Faust, Midas, and Me' by Switchfoot. His heart didn't beat either, so it could be that heart of gold.

* * *

I'd gotten done eating so I might as well call it a night, I could get a couple extra hours of sleep, or tossing and turning, which ever one. I never slept well anymore. I haven't slept well since the day she left me. I adjusted myself under the stars looking up at them. The blanket was really just so I had something over me, not so much to keep me warm. I didn't know what to do anymore. I never had the answers… every thing seemed to be moving ahead of me, and now my one time to get away from her and she shows up. My mind was shot, I couldn't comprehend anymore, I didn't want to. I just wanted to sleep and let nightmares clear my mind of today's exploits. I closed my eyes and let myself drift in to the personal hell that would soon follow.

Leah's POV

"So why are we looking for Embry? If he wanted to talk to you he would come see you." _I know Seth, but maybe he wouldn't, it's never that simple when it comes to guys_.

"Because we've already called the rest of the pack, no one knows where he is, and I think he's sleeping outside." Seth shrugged spinning his flashlight in his hand.

"We've been out here for a couple hours and nothing, you really think you'll be able to pick up his scent in your human form?" Seth asked a good question. The smell hit me. For Seth it might not be as strong but for me, it was familiar, right… perfect. I stopped and turned off my flashlight, realizing now it was stupid to believe that I'd need it, or that my eyes would find him before my nose picked up his scent. He was in form near here… his smell was much stronger, I followed it and Seth ran quietly behind me. It was around eleven at night. I didn't know why I needed to find him. I didn't know why I needed to see him.

_He runs away very fast, kind of cowardly_. _Maybe it's just the opposite, he runs for my sake, so I don't need to explain, to give me a chance to be without him_. _Maybe he runs when he's too weak to fight the emotional fight over you_. I had never thought why he ran, I just never wanted him running from me, with the fear in his eyes I saw so clearly.

I turned past an opening and there he was. Laying with the blanket across his legs. _There is no possible way he was this big before, he must be working out or something_. Seth appeared next to me stopping my silent admiration of the man laying on the ground. _Yes man, he's matured so much, he'll always be the same guy, but so much more_. I thought to myself.

"What do we do now? Wake him up?" Seth asked removing me from my silent reverence. _That's a good question what are you going to do now that you found him? I've got a couple ideas_… I blushed and smiled.

"Seth pick him up let's bring him back to our house, he can sleep on the couch, I'll grab his stuff." It was obvious Seth wanted to ask why, but he didn't, he smiled. _Seth can be the best younger brother ever, or the biggest pain in the ass, right now it was the first_. He scooped up the nearly seven foot beast of an eighteen year old and walked next to me.

"Do I want to know why you're kidnapping your boyfriend?" I winced for a second but hid it before he could notice. _No one here knows about Dave, I'm pretty sure my welcome will be worn out faster if they do_. I shook my head in response to Seth's question.

"No you don't want to know." We had made our way back to my house I opened the door for Seth and he entered our living room. I cleaned off the couch as best I could, it wasn't big enough for Embry, but it might be better then sleeping outside, besides now I could watch him. _You know how creepy that sounds? _It didn't matter I'd sleep right here in front of him, I slept much lighter then he did. I watched him breathing in slowly, as if some how he'd managed to relax. I sat up watching him breathe, the changes in his breath, the way his shortened, I assumed he wasn't sleeping well. It was all I could do not move closer to him, I needed him, he needed me, but right now I didn't know what that meant. His lips moved slightly and he started to mumble.

"All the miles that separate." He managed to get out of his mouth, it wasn't the same romantic bull shit I was hoping for, but he mumbled, as if he was humming a tune. He was out. I was sure of it.

"We're together, if only in my dreams." He mumbled. I knelt by his side. Some tears streamed down my face.

Embry's POV

"I need you Embry." I felt different, but I couldn't open my eyes, maybe I was dreaming, but I didn't want to believe that. _Open your eyes, before you fall asleep again and forget this!_ I was too late, I was already past waking up again.

**Yeah I know it was weird to end there, but ehh, kind of wanted to throw a cliff hanger, what if Leah DIDN'T say that? what if she did? I don't know give me epic theories… what do you think? You know the deal, comments, rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, here in the review area.**


	15. Things I SHOULD never say

**Disclaimer: not Stepenie Meyer If I was, these ideas of mine would see the light of day, is it is it'll only be fanfic (and don't get me wrong I love posting here)**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I'm REALLY sorry how long it's taking me to post but I don't have a working computer… it might be a while before I post again, sorry (by a while I mean up to a week)**

Embry's POV

I started to wake up and I realized I wasn't on the ground outside. The smell… it was… The Clearwater's home. I heard sizzling, most likely bacon, I opened my eyes and before me was the most serene sight. Leah was sleeping in the recliner her head leaning on her knuckles. At that moment I didn't know which to do, hug her or run away. I forced myself to sit up and Seth was cooking. The way her hair cascaded down her head, landing beautifully just above her shoulders. She looked so innocent, so perfect to me, with her imperfections… I couldn't find any one thing about her I'd change. _Besides the fact she keeps running away from you? Kind of like I do to her? _Her figure began to move, as if quietly waking up. I had to keep myself on the couch away from her, she hadn't came to yet but was in the process. She yawned and stretched and I smiled. Her eyes opened and met mine almost immediately, and in that second we didn't move, we didn't ask questions we just looked at each other. Neither of us flinched neither of us backed down. It wasn't as if we were angry, just trying to see the other for who they were.

_This should be fun_. I thought evilly. I stood quickly as if to make for the door, Leah was on her feet jumping towards me, I turned back and caught her. smiling victoriously.

"Not funny." She said with her arms still around me. I shrugged.

"Maybe not, but it worked." I said chuckling. She tried to act mad at me, but apparently was enjoying this moment as much as I was. I looked over Leah's shoulder for a second and Seth had turned and stared at us, but he did it silently. _He doesn't want her running away any time soon, any time at all, if possible_.

"Breakfast is ready." Seth called noticing I was watching him. I waited for Leah to release her grasp on me, she did but not without holding on for a couple more seconds. Wordless statements were all over her face, begging me not to leave her, as if I could in this state. I was too glutton for punishment. _Masochistic,_ I thought laughing to myself making my way to the breakfast table. We shoveled down what food there was on the table. I was avoiding asking why I was here, how long this charade would keep going, anything that would cause a stir. After breakfast Leah headed up stairs. I hadn't moved I was deep in thought.

_When will this perfect little world end? When will she turn and run again?_ She took three steps down the stairs and looked back at me.

"You coming up or do you need a special invitation?" I quietly pushed my chair in, nodded to Seth who was now cleaning up breakfast. _How did that work? He made and cleaned up from breakfast? _I was sure he had his theories about what would happen up stairs but I didn't know and that meant he definitely didn't. I had an idea what Leah was planning but tried to keep my mind from straying in that direction. I didn't know what to make of it all. My body yearned for her, but is that what I really needed? _Are you kidding, she's practically inviting you in to her bed_. I followed her up the stairs, she didn't wear her look of a seductress, it didn't look like she was trying to fuck to forgiveness. _And you have a problem with her fuck to forgiveness approach?_ I smiled to myself, it sounded perfectly fine to me… to a point. _Remember, she's still David's girlfriend_. _So what do you really want from her? _I thought for a moment before heading up the stairs. _I want to screw her brains out, but can't_... I didn't know what any of that meant anymore, but I wasn't holding myself back anymore. _Screw her brains out right now, this might be your only chance_. _Yeah before she goes back to her new lover David_. I guess I'd finally agreed. _Shit, don't I need a condom? _I thought quickly remembering things from health class. _Dumb ass_… I told myself before going in to the female cycle, that was one of Leah's touchy subjects, and true on most guys it was a touchy subject, I never understood. People say "female cramps" I shrug, then I say "itchy balls" and as if on cue they turn away in disgust.

I turned the corner in to her room behind her, something was different about her I couldn't put my finger on it. All I knew is I wanted her like right now might be my only chance. _You're joking right? You don't have a clue if she'll run back to him right now_. The idea sounded bad to me. I turned to her, I recognized it, she looked timid, afraid… hurt.

The fear in her eyes was something I didn't expect, unsure I took my place in the chair near her bed, like I did before this whole thing was all messed up, before we made out passionately, before we went out, before David. _You followed her up in to her room, now stop pussy footing around it and go for it_. I sighed to myself forcing myself to leave the chair, if I was going to hurt myself I might as well get it done. I sat down on the bed next to her and put an arm around her, pulling her to me. She pulled away for a moment, and then leaned in to me as if that was what she really wanted. _You need to say it while she's here to hear it, you were ten minutes late every time in your life, I don't fucking care if it's not the perfect moment, say it while you can!_

She turned to face me and tears were in her eyes, she looked down ashamed. I grabbed her chin pulling her up to look me in the eyes. I needed to see those beautiful eyes, even if they were red from tears. They weren't though, seemed like these were new tears.

"Leah Danielle Clearwater, I love you, I've loved you for as long as I've been going out with you, probably longer. I need you in my life." I said getting all the words out. It wasn't as eloquent as I would have liked but I finally said it.

"If you don't want me in your life again all it'll take is a good kick to the groin, but I need you." I said just before pulling her chin to mine and locking my lips to hers. I didn't cringe waiting for the pain I knew was coming, I enjoyed every millisecond, then every second, as they expanded. Soon she was kissing me back wrapping her arms around me. She pulled herself on to my lap; some where I was completely comfortable having her. She attacked my lips with hers as if I might disappear, not taking a second for granted. We finally broke for air, but only far away enough to breathe. Our lips were still touching.

She opened her mouth as if to say something before I stopped her kissing her again, pulling her on top of me perpendicular to the bed. She noticed this and pulled away slightly, her hair grazing my face. I lifted her and turned my body so now we were lying on the bed the right way. The bed of course didn't fit us, but we were on it the right way now. _Come on, don't be a coward, you've already taken two leaps of faith, might as well take your next_. Her hands were in my hair pulling it as she fiercely kissed me. One of my hands was in her hair and one was rubbing her back outside of her shirt. My hand slid down her back and rested on her ass. After air went out of her body, I slowly started rubbing it. She pulled up just far away to look in my eyes as if to ask a question, but didn't want to. I could see the question in her eyes, what has changed you Embry? _You have, and if I never get to be with you again, if everything will go back to the hell I've been in_. _I don't want to regret not having sex with you_. _You do know you'll have to go farther then rubbing her ass then right?_

She seemed to be enjoying this so I thought I'd take the next step. I started pulling my hand away from her ass, she obviously didn't like that. I slid my hand across her stomach then under her shirt and her breathe slipped out of her as my hand slid under her bra. She was surprised but only pushed closer to me. She slipped her shirt of as I did the same to mine. _Well now the tricky part will be the pants, theirs no subtle way to pull off your pants_.

She pushed her bare chest against mine. I groaned pulling her closer to me. The animal side of me was taking over, not the werewolf side, the animal side of a human, and I was definitely fighting with myself over it. _Wait a second isn't this taking advantage of her? You're kidding right? She's been trying to seduce you in to this for a very long time_.

I pulled her hips on top of mine pushing softly against her. My hands were still paying with her breasts. I looked her in the eye as I reached for her pants. She didn't respond just stared at me. Soon she figured out that I wasn't going to move until I got the okay to do so. She grumbled and reached down taking a hold of my pants and unzipping them. Like wise I pulled her pants down. I felt myself inside her and she moaned. She pushed herself off of me holding her body off mine with her arms and legs. _Damn it no! _I thought to myself. Her eyes looked fierce in to mine.

"Why now Embry? What has changed you?" _ahh fuck_. _Don't tell her the truth, don't tell her the truth, don't tell her it's because you want to screw her brains out cause you don't know if you ever will get that chance again_. _Tell her you've wanted her for so long but didn't have the balls to fuck her! Anything but the truth Embry! ANYTHING but the truth!_

"Well Leah, I knew I might lose you forever, I just well I wanted to have sex with you I didn't want that to be something I regretted later." _You dumb ass! That's the truth!_ I silently screamed at myself. She climbed off the bed pulling her pants back up. She bent over to grab her bra and gave me a very nice view of her ass. _If that wasn't intentional I don't know what is_.

She put her bra back on and turned to me crossing her arms under her breasts pushing them up. She gave me a stern look. _You have got to be kidding me_. _You're going to lecture me looking like that? She has to know what she's doing to you_. She took a step closer looking down at my pants, her look faltered, and she gave an amused look, but quickly tried to go back to the pretense.

"Looks like some ones excited." She said has her hand grazed my pants. _So this is what they meant when they said 'blue balling_._' _I thought to myself. She closed the distance then turned around, giving me a nice view down her bra. Something she obviously knew she was doing. She leaned back on me rubbing her ass to my groin. _You have got to be fucking kidding me, damn it stop or go, none of this in between bull shit_.

"Nice view." I muttered to myself, obviously she heard me loud and clear. She grinned in front of me. _Damn you Leah, damn you seductress_.

"Yeah, I like how it looks out the window." I rolled my eyes. She laughed in front of me._ I can't take this anymore I need her, something!_ I thought to myself. I grabbed her shoulders spun her and lifted her up and on to my hips. She slyly climbed up above my hips resting her legs above my bones. She leaned in with her forehead touching mine, she in her bra and pants, me in just my pants. She breathed heavily in to me. It was her amazing smell ripping in to my nose, only slightly hindered by the morning. I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her closer to me, looking up at her. If I looked straight forward I'd be slapped for staring at her breasts.

She noticed my eyes didn't leave hers. She smiled, I needed my fix of those heroin eyes. She was my heroin… I needed her.

"Even now you try to be a gentleman. She rolled her eyes reaching back with both her arms grabbing mine and pulling them to her chest. _Holy fuck are you going to screw me or walk away? _I enjoyed it while it lasted, I wasn't going to cringe away, I'd take what I could get. I didn't let go, I wasn't me anymore. She leaned down and kissed me lightly. I released my hands, forcing myself to. She climbed down my body and reached for her shirt.

"That was fun, we'll have to do that again." She said as if we were playing a board game.

"That was my first time… I always thought it'd be different. That was my first time…" Leah said trailing off walking to the bathroom. _Shit, Leah that was your first time? I thought you and Sam_...I grabbed a sheet of loose leaf and a pen and scribbled on it.

"Leah, I need time to think, I'll see you in a couple hours at the games…"

_Embry_

**Leave your comments, rolls of twenty dollar bills and high fives right here… (sorry for the delays)**


	16. Seth, That's just wrong

**Disclaimer: This is getting old, I'm not Stephenie Meyer okay?**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I don't belong here I've got to move on dear, escape from this afterlife. So anyway… I'm sick now, which doesn't mean I stay home, it just means I do everything I've always been doing only I can't talk, or breathe now… wahoo way to go my once a year sickness**

Embry's POV

Really I hadn't run anywhere but where I was going to be. I ran to the park Seth was already there. I had changed in to some basketball shorts and a large Kevin Garnet jersey Alice had given me upon arriving in Minnesota. I remember that conversation.

* * *

"Didn't Garnet get traded to the Celtics? It's not like you to buy something that's out of date." Alice rolled her eyes. Obviously she didn't see it that way.

"Garnet was in Minnesota so long they practically made him a citizen here." Alice commented.

"He was a citizen you know." I responded flatly. She pouted crossing her arms, she was so cute when she acted like this, not attractive cute, just the kind of cute you have trouble saying no to.

"You know what I mean, besides Jasper thought having something like this might give the impression we know Minnesota better." I shrugged, I knew Garnet played for the Timber Wolves and I was from Washington. _Hey if it makes their life easier_.

* * *

So here I was wearing my black Garnet jersey for the first time, I knew Jacob packed his blue Garnet jersey and was probably wearing it now, I thought it'd be a funny sight. I dropped my bag at the end of the court and picked up a basket ball that was lying on the ground. I smiled, our first event was the slam dunk contest, our panel of judges would be Quil Senior, Billy Black, Sue Clearwater, and my mother. I made my way to the hoop putting down a simple dunk, nothing special about it. Seth on the other hand was all over this idea, He was dunking circles around me, he had practiced, I wouldn't be surprised if he won. _When did he come out here? When did he start practicing?_ I thought trying to put the ball between my legs before dunking. I did manage to do it, but Seth had already put the ball through his legs twice before dunking, this kid was a maniac.

My mind was still reeling from what I saw him do. If I didn't watch him with my jaw dropped maybe I could dunk too. I made a couple attempts at doing a 360 spin while putting the ball through my legs for the dunk, none of them worked. I threw the ball at the backboard and it bounced right back to my hands. _Wait a second_. I thought to myself. I tossed the ball in the air jumped caught it and dunked. _Now we'r_e getting somewhere. The pack started to join us, first came Jacob and Billy, Jared came next growling about being away from Kim. _Pathetic, he's been neutered, he used to be so much more, such a strong dumb ass, now he's a pansy dumb ass_. I thought to myself, really this whole thing was for Jacob and I, mostly me. As the rest of the pack made their way here I was worried. _Where is Leah? Is she coming or not?_ She did arrive, early it was just my fears getting the best of me._ You fool you need to get away while you still can, she'll hurt you again_.

She was wear a tank top that showed a fair amount of cleavage, not too much, but definitely noticeable. It was definitely meant for me. The next closest person who wasn't imprinted near her age was her own brother.

She bounded to my side grabbing the basketball from my hands staring me in the eye. My eyes did drift down to her shirt._ Hey come on Embry head up here! What do you expect after what happened a couple hours ago? Don't even think about it Embry_.

"Hello, Leah to Embry, any one home?" My mind refocused, then my eyes moved up to hers. She leaned slightly closer to me whispering too quiet for the listening audience to hear.

"I'm glad you like the view." I blushed. She smiled one of her intoxicated smiles, the kind I could never resist. I leaned in closer to her my mouth now only millimeters from her ear.

"God you're hot." She shivered, apparently she found what I just did sexy too. She pushed her body a bit closer to mine, but not so close that it looked suspicious.

"You're not bad yourself, Garnet got traded though." I smiled to myself before stealing the ball and spinning as fast as I could to dunk, I didn't quite do a 720, I'd say more like a 700 degree spin. I landed hard on the ground and took a second to assess my balance. Yeah I was okay. I stood straight up somewhat dramatically. Leah coughed behind me. I tossed the ball to her. I didn't move I was standing between her and the basket. She charged at me obviously thinking I was going to move. She jumped and my face caught the side of her hip. I didn't move though, and she didn't make it to the hoop either. We kind of both landed hard on the ground, the ball still palmed in Leah's hand. We were both laughed. Everyone was here by now and Sue Clearwater looked somewhat disapproving of the situation. I realized belatedly that Leah was kind of laying on top of me. It was just about as unromantic as possible, but that didn't seem to make a difference to her.

"We should probably get up, your mom doesn't seem to approve of this." I said Leah still lying over me.

"Nah, I think I'd rather make out with you." She mumbled quiet enough that the rest of the pack now coming together couldn't hear us.

"Yeah, but not with the pack here." I said pointing out what I believed was the obvious. She still hadn't moved from being on top of me… she seemed content to lay there.

"I don't know maybe the people watching would make it more interesting." I growled starting to make a feeble attempt to push her off.

"Please Leah, We've got some Olympics to compete in."

Sam stood in front of the group, explaining how this event would work, apparently we'd all put down a dunk, and the elders would agree on the best three, and then those three would get a chance to dunk again. Jacob growled something next to me about having two parents as judges. I laughed, Jacob had gotten over how awkward it was, but Billy still wore an awkward look in his eyes every time our eyes met, it could be the fact that I started calling him "pops" or "dad" I smiled to myself. No that was completely impossible. We lined up alphabetically.

Quil picked up the ball as if it was a foreign object to him, he looked like he was cursing the fact his last name started with an A. I smiled Jacob was next, then me. I guess we never decided if my last name was "Call" or "Black" but I think we were sticking with Call, since otherwise I would have been in front of Jacob. Behind me was Leah, then her brother Seth, the rest of the pack behind them, last being Sam. The look Quil wore was definitely amusing, he looked up to us, then back down like we should know what he should use this ball for but he didn't. He began to run to the hoop and his arms made a full rotation before dunking, otherwise known as the windmill. He landed and tossed the ball to Jacob.

Jacob had apparently thought about this, he ran straight for the basket, not hesitating. He spun mid air and dunked doing a 360. I sighed as I caught the ball after him. I hadn't decided what I was going to do yet. I might as well try catching it in midair. I thought to myself. I started jogging towards the hoop tossing the ball in to the air, it bounced off the back board. I spun catching it behind my head and dunking it. It wasn't an extremely difficult dunk, but one that definitely took some practice. I landed and made my way to Jacob while Leah dunked. I turned as the ball was tossed to Seth.

Seth was wearing a mischievous grin. I watched in awe as he threw the ball against the back board and ran to the hoop. He jumped doing front flip before catching the ball and dunking it. I immediately grabbed my jaw to make sure my mouth wasn't hanging open. He smiled making his way over to us. He was wearing a huge grin now.

"What do you think of that Embry?" he said taunting me. I rolled my eyes and Leah snickered. None of the rest of the pack did anything that compared to what Seth had pulled off. Obviously Seth was going to make it to the next round. Billy Black cleared his throat.

"The three people who made it to the next round are, in no particular order Brady, Embry, and Seth." The rest of the pack left the court and stood on the side cheering.

"Brady, show those old farts how to dunk!" I heard Collin yelling. Soon I heard Sam.

"Do your pack proud Brady!" Jared and Paul were screaming similar things, apparently this was a pack versus pack affair. Leah put her hands to her mouth next, as if we wouldn't hear her normally.

"Seth, show those losers how to dunk!" Jacob rolled his eyes, then a he laughed evilly.

"Go Embry, show them how a Black dunks!" he yelled. Billy and Sue's eyes turned to Jacob to reprimand him but it had no affect. Quil yelled cheers for both Seth and myself obviously not picking sides on this one.

Brady looked down at the ball not sure what to do with it. A sigh escaped his mouth before he bounded towards the hoop, passing the ball behind his back before dunking. Sam's pack burst out in to a deafening cheer. It soon became a contest. Brady handed me the ball I looked down on the ball contemplating silently. If I had any chance of beating Seth I'd have to do something pretty good. _Ah what the hell_. I thought palming the ball. I ran and spinning mid air and putting the ball between my legs. I managed to finish it with a full 360 something I hadn't been able to do when I was practicing. My pack broke out in to loud cheers even Seth. I tossed him the ball, but didn't look at him, I wasn't going to get proud until I saw what he dunked.

He grinned when I handed him the ball, apparently he was going to top what ever I did. He bounded towards the net spinning putting the ball through his legs twice before dunking, landing after a 360. I forced myself not to swear, there wasn't cheering like there was when I dunked, not even Leah was cheering, it was silent.

"Here you go" he said handing me the basketball walking past me.

"Show off" I muttered angrily. _Did he need to add another pass through the legs to my dunk?_ Obviously Seth had won, the Elders didn't need to discuss it but none the less they did. After talking for a couple minutes they turned back to us.

"In first place is Seth." Cheers erupted from both packs, but the loudest was definitely Leah.

"Second place goes to Embry." I smiled in response. Jacob whistled as the packs cheered loudly. I wondered if they didn't call last names because of me, I thought this whole situation was funny. I wouldn't be offended to be called Embry Call again, but they didn't know that.

"Third place goes to Brady." Sam's pack broke in to applause much louder then before. We didn't have any metals or anything, Quil had a clipboard and a pen. Sam motioned with his hands and his pack moved closer to him, we followed but hesitated.

"Our next event will be lunch." He said smirking. Some laughed but Sam looked like he was serious. We were headed back to Sam's house, I didn't understand but my sense of smell picked up quickly why we were here. _He wasn't kidding about the hot dog eating contest_. Standing there to greet us stood Kim, Rachel, and Emily. I didn't really mind, until Sam, Paul and Jared, were in their arms almost whining about how long they were away. I rolled my eyes, Seth groaned and Leah crossed her arms in disgust. Sam led us to the backyard, there were picnic tables set up. We all took a seat at one, I was between Seth and Quil. Both were wondering about Minnesota, since neither of them had been there. I filled them in the details, it was much like Washington, just sunny more often. Emily, Kim and Rachel returned with tubs full of hot dogs.

They placed the tubs down in front of us. I didn't reach for it, but at the opposite table, Jared's hand was slapped away by Kim.

"No, we're having a contest, who can eat the most in a minute." They split up the tubs, each hot dog already in a bun, their must have been two hundred sitting in front of us. Quil Senior was at our side, with his clip board, the elders were spread out to count how many people were eating. Emily gave the count down and yelled to start. I stuffed hot dogs in my mouth, but I knew Jared and Paul would probably win this one. I couldn't keep track of how many I had eaten, but after the minute was up the elders and the three imprints gathers to tabulate. I didn't stop I just continued eating the hot dogs, Leah laughed in front of me.

"Emb, the contest is over." I shrugged stuffing another hot dog in my mouth. They were a bit cold but I didn't mind.

"I'm still hungry." After we'd finished our own gigantic lunch Sue coughed to get our attention.

"First place is Jared, second place is Paul, third was Jacob." She didn't carry the same pomp and circumstance as Billy Black had for the first event, apparently she didn't think this should be an event, or at least her daughter shouldn't be competing. _Hey at least she didn't win_. I thought to myself laughing a bit.

"Meet at the park again for the Originals vs New Pack basketball game." Sam said over the chatter. _Damn, Sam's taking this stuff seriously, well it's fun so far_.

"Embry can I talk to you, alone?" I was ripped out of my thoughts by Leah. That was a bit too formal, we didn't ask to have a word, she just grabbed me and kissed me. _Maybe that's what this is about_. I followed her, she didn't lead me back to her house like I expected, we ran to the woods, getting well out of hearing distance. She stopped and turned to face me. Once again I noticed how nice her tank top looked. _Damn Embry, You can't think straight like this, eyes above shoulders_. I got myself focused just long enough to realize Leah wasn't going to fight fair.

"Hey Embry." She said seductively. I chuckled a bit.

"You say that as if you just noticed me here." She was thrown off, but only for a second. She took a step closer, she could hug me now. She stopped for a moment, then did hug me.

"Embry, I don't know what's going on anymore, but please please don't ruin this for me, don't tell anyone about David, no one knows, everyone thinks I'm still your girl friend." It hadn't crossed my mind that no one else knew about it yet. She hadn't let go of me, I didn't want to say yes, but when I was holding her it was nearly impossible to say no to her.

"So what? We act like we're going out and act all buddy buddy they're watching then you go and call David when ever they can't see us?" She seemed hurt a bit but she didn't say anything. Apparently she thought I was right, so did I. She pulled herself closer to me. _Don't let it show how hard this is for you to say no, she'll know she controls you_.

"Embry, please… I need your help." I shook my head fiercely. _No one thing I wasn't going to do was going to hide her boy friend so she had it easier_.

"No Leah, I can't do that, Damn it, I need you, I wasn't lying when I said I love you. Why the fuck did I say that? Why? I'm such a dumb ass." I turned to leave shaking my head she grabbed my wrist stopping me.

"Embry, you are an amazing person, far better then I deserve." Leah said not sure what to say. I needed to get away before I was pulled back in. I pulled away but her grip around my wrist tightened. I needed to say it, it was harsh it was cold, and I didn't mean it, but I needed to make it clear.

"Leah, you made your bed now-" she cut me off with a loud noise.

"Shut the fuck up Embry Michael Call and listen to me." I was surprised at best, my mouth hanging open staring it her, no one else would talk to me like that

"You listen and you listen good." She said staring me in the eye. She had the fierce look in her eye, the fight like there was definitely something she had to say.

"Now I've wanted to tell you this for a long time but I never had the courage to say this to your damn face." She said sneering anger was becoming clearer on her face, she looked really pissed, and for the first time in a very long time, I actually feared for my physical safety.

"I've been afraid to say something I might regret later, I didn't want to hurt you, but damn it you're making me." I watched and it was as if with each passing second she was boiling.

"Embry Michael Call, I need you, I know this whole thing is fucked up beyond reason, but I need you." She grabbed me by my basketball jersey and pulled me to her, I fell forward and her lips attacked mine. My mouth was hanging open when she said all of this, so she didn't even need to fight me, she had me the second her tongue touched my lips. Her hands one of her hands stayed almost ripping my jersey to pull my closer and the other one was now grabbing my hair, trying again to pull me closer then I already was hers. My hands weren't at my side anymore. After the shock had worn off my hands reached around her, and as she kept pulling closer I lifted her on to me. Her legs locked tightly around my hips. Her grip on my hair loosened as she pulled away far enough to look me in the eyes. One thing I'd learned about Leah, is no matter how much I'd learned, she could always surprise me. She looked at me victoriously. I groaned leaning back in defeat. I didn't pull my head and upper back up. She did. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me back to her my lips met hers again. Once we disengaged again for air, it was obvious she'd won. I wore it on my face. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to gloat. I sighed heavily giving in.

"We'd better get back to the park."

**Yeah I know it took a long time to write that compared to my other chapters but it's hard without a working computer… but this chapter is done… next chapter will be done whenever I can do it. I hope to get it done before the end of the weekend but I'm not making any promises, I've got tons of homework otherwise I could have it done tomorrow. Thanks for everyone whose reviewing, you keep me writing every time I want to stop. (meaning the other 20 of you who have this on alert should review every once and a while and give your opinion) Leave your comments, hugs, high fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills **


	17. Wrestling with the wolves

**Disclaimer: Yeah, so stuff… not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: My computer is back up and running so DEPENDANT on how many reviews I get and what people say I can have another chapter done by Saturday, that is dependent on the response I get for this one.**

Embry's POV

The game was about to start, the rules had been made clear, call your own fouls, no body checking, and no contact over normal basketball games on anyone less than six foot six inches tall. That rule was made mostly for Leah, but it applied to Seth, Brady and Collin as well. They were the guards for both teams. Quil was the center for our team, mostly because "the Garnets" were going to be forwards. Sam was lined up against him at Center for the jump ball. None of us had played much basketball. Especially since phasing, who had time for basketball when they were turning in to a wolf every day? Sam won the jump ball and the game that that ensued couldn't really be called basketball. Every time someone tried to dunk someone else caught them in the air and threw them on to the ground. After about five minutes of this, the teams realized it was smarter just to keep the ball in the hand of the guards since we weren't allowed to body slam them like we were the other players. Leah tossed the ball up to me and before it got near me Jared tackled me.  
There wasn't any malicious intent, we just kind of were fighting around. I could see the Clearwater's shrug looking over at Brady and Collin, they continued to play even though we were wrestling instead of playing anymore. After about ten more minutes of wrestling Jared with no real goal the elders stopped us. I looked down at Jared with victory in my eyes. Apparently my team had won the game, but no one was really paying attention. I stood up, helping Jared up to show there was no hard feelings.  
"Damn Embry, you've gotten bigger, I used to kick your ass." I smiled, he was right he did. I cracked my neck trying to readjust it. I stretched my back next. Just when I thought I'd adjusted my back correctly a small figure tackled me perfectly, a shoulder ran straight in to my hip and pulled me down to the ground. I quickly realized by how light the person was who was on top of me that it was Leah. I got a hold of her shoulders and spun her then tossed her off of me so I could stand back up, correcting myself again.  
She raised her eyebrow to me, in question. Then she pouted. Whatever she wanted she was almost undoubtedly going to get.  
"So you're not afraid to wrestle Jared, but me not a chance?" I wasn't expecting that, I was at a loss of words for a moment.  
"Save it Leah, I've got a better Idea." Sam called from across the court. I was surprised he'd eavesdropped.  
"Follow me." Sam motioned. The pack followed but Leah intertwined her arm in mine, leaning her head on my shoulder. This didn't seem wrong anymore. I couldn't tell if it was myself forcing it to be right or what. But I needed her she needed me. We walked that way hand in hand. I stopped momentarily and turned to her, I leaned down and kissed her head, inhaling the smell of her hair. We continued to walk, much slower than the rest of the pack.  
"Embry, thank you so much for doing this for me. I mean it, I don't know what I'd do without you." I considered this, and even though I didn't want to be mean the comments still came in to my mind. _Really? What have you been doing then? All this time without me if you don't know what you'd do without me you seem fine pushing me away until I'm needed. _Her eyes met mine and I tried to look away so she wouldn't see the conflict in them, but as always I was an open book to her.

"Embry, What's wrong… did I say something wrong?" Leah said standing in front of me. She didn't play any games, she wasn't pouting or trying to get me to tell her. She wanted me to, but wouldn't force it. I wanted to tell her but didn't want to ruin this. _What does any of this mean if the truth ruins it?  
_"Leah I want to believe you, but you left me, and went and found a new guy, moved on with life, you don't need me that same way… I understand you don't feel that way, I just don't understand why you keep coming after me when we're here, listen if you just want to act like friends and I'll say we're going out that's fine, I don't mind, I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking. I just miss you so much I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay. I don't know!" I don't think I ever finished my rant, rather it ended. I ranted when I didn't know what to say, when I was nervous, or trying to say something right. _Did I tell her to leave me and go back to David?_ That's what it sounded like to me.  
"Embry, every day I regretted leaving, but I couldn't go back because I regretted it, I had made my decision and I needed to stick to it, I missed you every day, and many nights I couldn't sleep because I thought of you. I need you Embry, I didn't say it to keep your mouth shut about Dave, I really do need you Embry… please understand this is very hard for me." Her eyes met mine and tears started forming.  
"I know I David has been a mistake, I shouldn't have gone out with him, he took advantage of me, and I've always known that, but I still went out with him." I quieted her, my hand rubbed the side of her face.  
"I know this is hard for you, but this is hard for me too. I trusted you completely with my heart and you left me, you chose someone else… I will try and trust you again, but it might be difficult for me to do. You need to understand this." She nodded I was hoping she'd understand. Really I didn't know if I'd ever be able to trust her the same way we did before. She knew that though. She gave me a hug and I struggled for a moment wondering if she ever held David that way. _ Stop dwelling on that, she once loved Sam, and she gave you a chance.  
_We made our way to the small opening, there was a circle marked on the grass. Sam wore a grin on his face, shared by the rest of the wolves.  
"You missed the first couple matches, the last match of the first round is you two wrestling." I turned to face Leah, the grin on her face was wide. She was getting what she wanted. _You should let her win? Are you kidding? No, I'm going to have my fun, and she'll never see it coming. _I smiled as Sam started going over the rules.  
"Since I am the only one who actually wrestled, we're making this simpler. The first person whose shoulders touch the ground three times loses." I faced Leah and she was still smiling, definitely expecting that I'd let her win. _She'll never see this coming_. The pack crowded around closely, apparently this was the match everyone wanted to see. Even the elders were crowding around, My mother and Sue Clearwater were laughing, saying how 'Embry doesn't have a chance.' I smiled as Quil Senior signaled for us to start. She was in no kind of wrestling stance, she looked completely relaxed. She pouted at me. _That won't work this time. _I thought to myself evilly.  
"Embry dear, you're not going to hurt me are you?" Leah said feigning her fears." I sighed playing my part well. I put my arms out as if in surrender. She took a step closer to me. I didn't move. I could reach her now but for what I wanted to do she needed to be closer.  
"Oh Emb." She said still continuing her mock fear. She still was in a causal stance. _One more step closer Leah, just one more_. She took the final step and I wrapped my arms around her locking her arms in a useless position before picking her up and spinning her putting her flat on her back on the ground. She looked up at me quickly realizing what just happened.  
"You asshole!" She screamed at me and the pack erupted in cheers. She got back up and charged at me, my arms wrapped around her overpowering her and softly putting her back on the ground. The third time was something similar. I stood up victoriously she grumbled behind me before tackling me and pinning my arms and legs under her. I had won, there was no need to push my luck, I might as well take whatever she was going to throw at me.  
"We'll have to do this again sometime, when I have my advantages." She whispered in to my ear. I groaned slightly.  
"I'm pretty sure I'd win right now." I grinned in response. I smoothly tried to smoothly force myself out from under her.  
"It's a good thing we're not wrestling now isn't it?" I said trying to remind her that match was over.  
"Leah, please, we need to continue the games." I said trying to remind her other people were around, or at least people were waiting for us.  
"It's not my fault if they watch us." I laughed pushing her off of me before getting up. I dusted myself off then extended my hand to help Leah get up. She took it attempting to pull me back down. I caught myself then yanked her up and she guided herself in to my arms.  
"Actually I do think it is your fault they're watching us." I let her go returning to the wrestling matches. Sam had beaten Jared quite easily. As it stood the next match would be myself versus Jacob. I smiled as we entered the mock ring. He crouched in to an attacking stance. He jumped at me, I took a step out of the way, then caught him around his waist and slammed him on to the ground. He got up quickly growling. This time he walked towards me standing straight up in no stance at all. I bent down slightly lunged then stopped mid stepped and caught his arm and head in a weird sort of half nelson. I spun him in the air forcing him down to the ground on his back. I backed up as we both got in to our ready positions. I lunged and he dropped to the ground, a second too late I realized what he was doing, I was flying through the air and he caught me, grabbing me around the stomach. He held me in the air for a second before putting me down, not very softly I might add. The fourth time we locked up he also got the better of me.  
Falls were two each. I side stepped and lunged, I caught a hold of Jacobs leg and pulled him down spinning him in the process. I had won the match. I stood up starting to sweat. I guess that wasn't unusual seeing how warm I was running these days. I stood up and locked eyes with my next opponent. _Shit, there is no way I can beat Sam, he wrestled for eight years, maybe if I use my speed._ I thought to myself.  
Sam let himself in to our informal ring but some people protested saying that I needed rest. That idea was preposterous at best I could do this at least for an hour without being winded. I slowly circled but he didn't he moved gracefully and charged me before I knew what happened my back was on the ground. I kicked my feet and jumped back to my feet. He circled but I saw his movement this time, I caught his arm trying to go for my leg, he pushed then twisted regripped my leg and I was on the ground again. This was a bit more humiliating then the loss I gave Leah, but I might have deserved it. If I was going to lose I might as well lose on my own terms. I charged and got my arms around Sam I lifted him and sprinted, I kept my head down and legs moving just like in football. His arm wrapped around my head putting me in a headlock. I was running out of air, but found a tree to run Sam in to. His grip released and I slammed him on the ground. I knew it wouldn't count for anything, but it'd help my dignity a bit. Sam stood up dusting himself off. He smiled, I didn't need to explain myself, he understood. We jogged back to the circle, the packs cheering.  
"Nice going Embry." Jared yelled slapping me on the back. Apparently he wasn't able to do get a shoulder down on Sam. I readjusted my neck and Sam stretched out.  
"Are they going to give me that one?" I asked Sam, he smiled and shook his head.  
"Figures." I stood up ready to finish this. I made my way then went for his leg. He caught my arm and swept my legs out from under me. I tried to catch something to regain my balance but his palm was centered on my chest forcing it down. He offered his hand to me, I had considered pulling him down but didn't. He pulled me up to my feet and I turned back to m pack walking away. Jared and Jacob faced off as I stood by myself. I didn't move too close Leah. I figured she'd be mad with me anyway.  
"Wow you got your ass handed to you." I chuckled, Leah wouldn't miss a chance to gloat, even if she wasn't the one who beat me. Jacob had beaten Jared, Three to one. I smiled putting my arm around Leah.  
"I want a rematch, later." I smiled to myself, she'd have as many as she wanted.

**Seriously people, I know over sixty people read my last chapter and three reviewed. I don't know if I'll post the next one if there aren't more reviews. It's what keeps me writing most people don't review anymore, if I put in two to seven hours on a chapter and you enjoy it I think you can take a minute to say that… I'm done with my rant I'm just frustrated…**

Give your reviews, high fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills, and such here (don't make me keep Leah going out with David, I'll do it)


	18. We didn't start the fire

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer… Have I ever just said that before?**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Thank you for all the reviews, keep it up and good things will happen!**

Embry's POV

My phone rang at my side, it was Jasper, I looked down with my hand around Leah. _Why is Jasper calling me? Maybe he's just worried_. I flipped my phone open.

"She's with you now isn't she?" he asked right away, without even saying hello, he believed some times there were more important things then being polite. _How did he even know she was here?_

"Jasper, how?" I said confirming his suspicions. I didn't say yes, but we both knew that didn't matter.

"Alice saw you holding someone by a bonfire, she assumed it was you and Leah, but it was pretty blurry, which is why she assumed it was you." I couldn't believe Alice was starting to see me.

"Tell Alice not to hurt herself trying to see me." I said forgetting Leah was at my side. She stiffened realizing I was talking to Jasper. _Who the hell else would call me? Everyone else I know is here. _I heard some quiet arguing on the other side then a female voice that was very familiar to me.

"Hey Emb!" she said jubilantly, in a way only Alice could. I couldn't help but smile around her.

"Hey Alice, how's everything at home?" she sighed frustrated.

"You know, same old same old, not nearly as fun without you and Jacob around, mostly you though." I laughed.

"Yeah it's nice to know I'm missed." I laughed, Leah was getting a bit ansty at my side.

"And no, I won't stop trying to see you, it's one of the only things I've got to do. There aren't any good movies in the theatres." I smiled, it was a breath of fresh air to hear from Alice.

"I'm sorry, I'm coming back on Sunday though." Leah reacted next to me, tensing, then relaxing again, forcing herself to.

"I'll talk to you when I get home."

"Bye Embry, don't have too much fun."

"Bye Alice." I said before hanging up the phone. Leah wasn't looking at me anymore.

"What's up Leah?" She took a moment to respond, she was still under my arm. She hadn't moved yet.

"What am I supposed to do?" I didn't understand what she was getting at.

"I was thinking we'd stay in La Push." Really I hadn't put any thought in to it, but I did know I wanted the Cullen's in my life, and I needed Leah, if I could make both coexist I'd find a way, I'd buy her a house myself if I needed to. She would hate that, unless it was a house for us. _Oh you'd like that too wouldn't you living in a house alone with Leah, every day. _I tried to kick the thoughts out of my mind but they lingered.

"I don't know Leah, but I'm part of their family now, I'm staying with them or near them. If you want to stay around me, I'll find a way to make it happen." Her eyes met mine and I could see they were unsure, but not of my sincerity, but of if it would go as smoothly as planned. We were walking back for supper now and I turned facing her grabbing both her shoulders looking in to her big beautiful brown eyes.

"Leah, if I've got you, there is nothing I can't do, or fix, or work through. If I have you there is no problem to hard for me." _There's a flip side to that you know, without her you're a mess. _I didn't say that part out loud. She wasn't completely comforted though.

"Leah, I'm not losing you if I've got you back." she took another step closer wrapping her arms around me resting her head on my collar bone.

"Embry, you have me back." I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"And nothing else matters." I mumbled in to her hair.

"You really got to stop being a lyrical hit man." I laughed deeply.

"You probably don't even catch half of them." She grumbled.

"Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm." She hit my back but didn't let go.

"You say that a lot, those are lyrics too aren't they?" I nodded smiling. She rolled her eyes then backed up and smiled.

"If anyone could make me a better person you could." She said with a cocky grin.

"All I've got to say is a must have done something good." I answered finishing the lyrics.

"Damn how did you know that."

"I am awesome, awesome I am the awesomest!" I said continuing to quote lyrics.

"Yeah whatever, shut up before I punch you in the nose." We continued walking in silence. After a couple minutes she finally spoke.

"Say something just no more lyrics." I smiled, I was planning on only speaking lyrics the rest of the night. I didn't say anything.

"You're better then drugs, addicted for life." I said blandly, she attempted to hit me but missed.

"You shut up those were obviously lyrics." I finally decided lyrics weren't smart to say right now, but I'd sneak them in when she wasn't thinking about it, or expecting it.

"I'm sorry Leah, I will stop… for now." I said smiling, she took another swing at me.

"I some times feel like I don't know who to trust besides you." I smiled. _One more lyric couldn't hurt could it?_

"Don't let these spiders. Crawl up beside us. They want to bite us. Inject the virus. Raise up your lighters. Praise to the righteous. Need you to guide us. Get prepared to go."

"EMBRY!" she yelled at me. I put my hands up surrendering. Eventually she intertwined her arm in mine again and we continued to walk, she leaned her head on my shoulder. _And nothing else matters_. I thought to myself. I saw in the distance a fire. I laughed to myself.

"What is it Emb?"

"Smells like we're having hot dogs again." I shrugged, I really didn't mind but I thought it was funny. We cooked our hot dogs over the fire, some people like Paul didn't have patience and just burnt their dogs and ate them. I took my time cooking them, Leah curled up next to me watching the fire. _This must have been what Alice saw. _I thought to myself. I pulled the two hot dogs off the stick and ate them with buns plain. I leaned closer to Leah. This must have been what Alice saw. Leah was getting tired, she was yawning.

We'd been out here for a long time. Telling stories of I looked up at the beautiful night sky.

"When I look at the stars I see someone else. When I look at the stars, the stars I feel like myself." I said quietly no one but maybe Leah could hear. I smiled when she didn't respond. She must have been sleeping. My eyes turned up to the sky again.

"Stars looking at the planet watching entropy and pain. Maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives can pass as sane?"

"What song is that?" the voice at my side said not moving. I looked down, I guess she wasn't asleep yet.

"Stars, by Switchfoot." I whispered in to her hair, her smell everything about her was so intoxicating to me. There was no where I'd rather be though. I was so happy, I was grinning from ear to ear, I knew it. Her breath was slowing and before she faded I heard her say.

"Wipe that grin off your face." I knew her eyes weren't open, she just knew me that well to know I was grinning right now. That of course only made it worse. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on hers trying to relax. I was relaxing there before falling asleep and my ears heard something that interested them.

"He's so much happier when she's around, it's like he's a completely different person." I wasn't completely coherent but I thought that was Rachel.

"She's happy too, I haven't seen her smile like this, it's good to have her back too. She wrote me every now and again, never told me where she was, but it's obvious she's so happy with him around." I was pretty sure that was Emily

"Until she dumps him and runs again." That was definitely Jared.

"Quiet Jared they're so happy, just look at them." That had to be Kim, everyone else would have just told him to shut up, without taking in to account his feelings.

"Yeah, I don't know where I stand on this, as if it would matter. Embry is going to go ahead with it whether I approve or not, I'm just afraid he'll be broken by her again." Jacob, no doubt about it.

"Give Leah a little credit." I couldn't distinguish who that was, I was slipping in to sleep.

"Why? You all might have had fun with your imprints when Leah left, but I helped put him back together. It was like he died… he was just getting better when she came back, after how many months he was just putting himself back together, by the way, thanks for being there for him." Once again that was obviously Jacob and he was very sarcastic on the last part.

"Jacob, shut up he didn't want our help, he never came to us and asked for it." I think that was Sam, but I couldn't know.

"Oh, so now we need to wait for him to come to us? You dumb ass. Don't you remember what he said to you when he left, the pack wasn't there for him when he needed it. So apparently he's suppose to come to you a bubble ball of tears begging for your help, even Paul isn't stupid enough to think that's right." I heard a slapping sound I only could assume was Rachel to Jacob but I didn't know. _Don't fall asleep Embry, this is good stuff._

I struggled against sleep that was fighting with me, it was so comforting though.

"I think he loves her." that was a female voice, I was way to far gone to distinguish which one though.

"I knew that long before they broke up, I could see it in his eyes in the garage, the way he ran from her, the way he put her needs in front of his. I admire him for his willingness to put everything out there without regard for the consequences." I thought that was Jacob but that I couldn't be sure of anymore.

"That's all fine and dandy Jacob, but is it enough? Will he let her back in to his life the same way?" I heard a deep laughter.

"Look at him. He's not protecting himself, he jumped right back in to it, whole heartedly. He loves her, even after everything that happened he loves her… he can't help it." I was fading quickly I couldn't make everything out.

"But look at her…" some one continued… _Don't fade now Embry please._

I was woken up by a stir at my side. It wasn't morning, I could still smell the fire, but it was dying down. I heard the sound of people getting up, no one had woken us up though. They seemed content to let us sit there. I could hear voices behind me though.

"I don't know about letting your daughter stay with my son, You saw what that did that did to him." I didn't wake up I wanted to hear this conversation. I tried to keep Leah from moving next to me.

"It did a number on Leah as much as it did to Embry, but I don't think either of us can stop them from getting back together again even if I wanted to."

"You want them back together?" the voice of my mother asked as if the thought was ludicrous.

"I don't want them getting hurt but look at them for a moment, what do you see?" the conversation stopped I tried not to move.

"They look so relaxed, as if this is how it should be."

"Exactly, whether we want this we can't stop it. Look at them, they are in love, and I can't think of a better man for my daughter."

I smiled as I started to act like I was just waking up, Leah at my side doing thing same. She stretched out pulled herself closer to me. I smiled standing up slowly helping her to her feet. This was a moment I wanted to tell her I loved her but didn't. She knew I loved her. Whether she knew how much that meant to me or not… I guess I'd find out.

**Send me lots of review shaped love otherwise… I don't know don't make me threaten, but I'm a writer, I can screw up this good story muahahaha…. Actually the more people review the faster I write, and since people reviewed like crazy last chapter I got my writing going even though I've had guests and stuff over the whole time. Review if you want me to update quickly. Send rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, comments, ideas here.**


	19. Vicarious

**Disclaimer: I'm not Meyer Stephenie… wait huh? Well yeah I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Yeah so I guess this is my next chapter…**

Embry's POV

I had slept on the Clearwater's couch again, Leah offered her bed but I figured that might not be a good idea. Thinking back now I was an idiot. _Weren't you just trying to have sex with her yesterday, and then you turned down sleeping with her? Are you really that stupid?_ I sat up cracking my neck. I adjusted myself as I'd made a habit of doing every morning, then I realized it was four a.m. I quietly moved upstairs to check on Leah. I was going to take a walk but she wasn't sleeping well. She was rolling and looked very uncomfortable. I wanted to comfort her but didn't know if I should. Theologically I could fit on the bed next to her, but I didn't know if I should. She was mumbling almost incoherent statements, almost because something she said I did catch.

"Embry don't leave me." She pleaded in her sleep. I couldn't keep myself from her any longer. I climbed on to the bed next to her and put my arms around her waking her up.

"I'm right here Leah, don't worry I'm not going anywhere." She relaxed almost immediately. She was facing me here eyes full of tears. She clasped her hands around my back and pulled herself closer to my, putter her face on my shoulder.

"It's okay Lee, I'm here." Her body stopped for a moment, then continued to try and calm itself down.

"No one calls me Lee anymore." She said, not as if to correct, just a statement. I patted her back.

"I guess I never noticed." I said smelling her hair. Her face tipped up to mine and she kissed me lightly on the lips. My thought processing stopped. Even now she had that affect on me. If I wasn't concentrating, it just disappeared. Her eyes met mine, and realized what she had done as she pulled away. Her lips curled in to a small smile. I ran my fingers from her temple to her jaw, down it and stopped at her chin, she had a similar reaction to me. I smiled, to me it was as if we had level playing fields.

"Hey, that's not fair, I just kissed you." I shrugged.

"I just touched your skin, I think you had the unfair advantage." She curled herself up closer to me.

"I'll show you an unfair advantage." She grabbed me and pulled me closer kissing me passionately, the same passionate kiss we've shared so many times, yet not once had it lost its affect. She pulled away and smiled victoriously.

"And that's even with my clothes on." my left hand slid slowly down her back. She shuddered.

"I win, now you should get some more sleep." She shook her head angrily, like something I said was horribly wrong.

"No, maybe I want to stay awake with you now." I rolled my eyes. Her hand removed itself from my neck and strayed lightly across my chest. my eyes rolled back in my head as I shuddered at her touch.

"Just imagine if I didn't have this nice tank top and shorts on, what'd that do to you." Leah said teasing me.

"Don't make me." I groaned rewrapping my arms around her pulling her so our bodies were touching. Her hands ran up and down my back skimming it tickling my back on purpose, I'd gotten good enough to not move when her fingers did this, if I did she'd try to tickle the shit out of me. She cooed next to me, I pulled her closer and relaxed, she did too.

"You just going to lay there or do something?" she said a bit disappointed in my lack of initiative. I smiled teasing her.

"Eh, my neck hurt from sleeping on the couch, and I figured I'd just fall asleep up here." I said teasing her, truly my neck did hurt from sleeping on the couch.

"What?!?" she sounded truly offended.

"I came up to check on you, I was going to go outside to sleep, my neck was hurting." She pushed me out of the bed, I took the hint and made for the window.

"No Embry, don't leave" I rolled my eyes and collapsed on the ground next to the window, this wouldn't be as comfortable as the outside, I'd regret it when ever I woke up.

"Embry, please come to back to bed with me." I chuckled at that connotation.

"You make it sound like we were having sex." I said jokingly, honestly that sounded amazing.

"That's the point Embry." She said rolling her eyes. I stood my ground, well laid my ground was probably a better term for what I was doing. I knew I was being childish, and really I wanted to go sleep next to her, but I wouldn't let a little thing like logic ruin my fun. I heard Leah let out a whine. _Why haven't you screwed her brains out yet? I kind of got stopped didn't I? Yeah that's right, you'll need to work your way back up to there again. _

"Embry Call, please come back to me, I want to fall asleep in your arms." _That sounds too good. Why are you resisting?_ That was a good question. _What are you doing? Get your ass back in to her bed. That sounds dirty. You know you wish. Yeah I do. _I concluded my conversation and stood up and made my way to the bed. Leah moved to the side as if showing my place. I climbed under the covers next to her and her arms almost immediately wrapped around me again.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch." I laughed lightly. I worked my way back in to her arms. I turned and laid on my back, as she was turned with her body to face mine at my side.

"What are you doing Embry?" I thought what I was doing was fairly obvious, I was trying to get a couple more hours of sleep. _She doesn't mean to? Does she?_ I didn't care what time it was, I'd take her that second.

"I was going to go to sleep, unless you had something else planned." I said trying to hint at it, I'm pretty sure she picked it up loud and clear she wasn't dumb by any means. Whether she'd just toy with me or not that was a different question.

"I don't know, I thought we could play cribbage." I smiled at that, and closed my eyes leaning back, what I needed right now was sleep. I felt weight shift from my side to on top of me. I didn't open my eyes. Her eyes roamed over my bare chest and I didn't open my eyes, I could fall asleep like this, it'd be very comfortable. Then something happened that made it impossible to fall asleep. Her hips were rubbing up and down mine. That definitely turned me on, and where she was she could definitely feel it too.

"Feels like you don't want to go to sleep anymore." I groaned.

"It isn't fair." I whined opening my eyes finally in defeat.

"What isn't fair?" she asked still rubbing her body up and down mine.

"It's fairly obvious when guys are turned on, we can't hide it, at least you girls down have a freakin' blinking sign that says 'hey if you haven't noticed I'm very turned on right now' it's just not fair." Leah laughed but didn't stop. _Please don't blue ball me again. I need you, and if you're not going to let me go all the way, don't let me go._ I groaned as she continued. _But please don't stop._ My hands roamed to her chest, I could feel she wasn't wearing a bra, which just turned me on more. _Why the hell would she? I don't know I've never asked if females sleep in bras. It'd probably be uncomfortable. Yeah this is definitely comfortable. I meant for her. It is for me too._ I reached under her shirt and grabbed her breasts. It was a great feeling, the same great feeling I had before. Without deciding to do so I was pushing my hips back against hers. She started to moan and I grabbed her ass pushing against her again, this time fully aware of what I was doing. _Wait a second Embry! No time to wait, got to take it while it's still firing. No stop and think. Where has thinking gotten me lately? _I stopped and thought about it for a second, really it seemed that Leah came back to me for how good I was at making out, not for my personality or other traits. _Is that a problem? Not until she finds some one whose better for it I guess. _I stopped and thought, no I didn't want it this way.

"Leah, why did you come back to me?" she stopped for a moment realizing my hand was no longer up her shirt or grabbing her ass. _Why the fuck do you have these damn epiphanies right before you're going to get some?_ I laughed to myself forcing my mind to refocus. She still hadn't answered my question.

"I don't know Embry, I needed you. I still need you." _Isn't that good enough?_ It was something I needed to know.

"You see more in me then this don't you?" I asked. She hadn't moved from on top of me, it wasn't that she still meant to be there, she just didn't move.

"Embry, of course there is. You're the most truthful, respectful, and best guy at holding back I know." She added the last part with a bit of regret, as if I should give in to her right now. _You should, why haven't you yet?_

"Leah, I just need you so much, I don't want to lose you again, I don't want you to find some one better then me at this, because believe it or not I'm pretty sure there is a lot of people better at this then I am. I don't know what to say, but you mean so much more then this to me, but if this is all I am to you, I need to get away before I've jumped in all the way…" I stopped for a moment to look down.

"I guess it's too late for that too." I was too afraid to look her in the eye, too afraid to see the confirmation of my fears. Her hand gripped my chin and pulled it so my eye sight turned to her. I guess she deserved this. I'd remembered I needed to shave.

"Embry, I don't know all the answers, and granted I might not say this perfectly right, it is after all four A.M. I don't think I'll be as eloquent as I could be later. Embry you're right if I wanted some one to just make out with there would be plenty of people, some maybe better then you, but that's not why I'm with you, you have faith in me, and you see the better side of me even when I don't think it exists." I didn't quite understand but she made her way back to my side and curled next to me.

"Let's just get some sleep okay Emb?"

"And nothing else matters."

**Chapters are getting harder to write… because I'm watching House MD instead of writing… it took me five/six days to write this, I used to put them up around one a day or more, if you want me to write like a maniac again I need more reviews. This chapter is for Dyn, because she won't leave me alone about writing… I almost stopped writing this story all together… if you want me to keep writing then tell me, send me a review, tell me what you think about every chapter, send me a PM, I read them all and to anything more then "update please" I almost always write a reply…**

**Reviews, rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, and threat letters against my stopping writing…. here**


	20. Morning race

**Disclaimer: I am so not Stephenie Meyer, it's not even funny**

**Disclaimer Deuce: curses, see this is the part where I said "four days of Olympic Peninsula events, and realize I only had the patience to write about one days worth of it… woe is me**

Embry's POV

I moved slightly. _Wait a second I shouldn't be this comfortable on a couch. _A soft mumble brought me back to reality. I wasn't on the Clearwater's couch. I was in Leah's bed. That thought alone made me smile. My arm was around the girl of my dreams. As she woke up it appeared she went through the same experience I did. First she didn't know where she was, or why an arm was around her, this caused her to tense, then she relaxed realizing it was me and leaned in to me again.

"Morning sexy." She said to me smiling. I kissed her forehead. This screwed up, angry, emotionally unstable beautiful person was mine. She was only going out with David still because she didn't want to break up tell him she was going out with me over the phone, a little bit a decency she saved for him, something I didn't know if he deserved. A sudden desire for a morning run came over me.

"Leah, want to go for a run?" She shook her head next to me and I smiled. I asked her to be polite. I stood up and she pulled against me, I ran down stairs and grabbed a shirt, something that looked decent for November. I threw my shoes on and was ready to run, I expected Leah still hadn't gotten up but to my surprise she was wearing something that would pass for day clothing. I smiled before bounding up the stairs. I softly grabbed her. she accepted mine going down the stairs with me. I pulled her in to my arms, holding her up. she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself up a bit more to kiss me. I enjoyed it for what it was worth, then she leaned back and I supported her back in one arm and her legs in the other. I made my way outside before she knew what I was doing. I started running, really this wasn't heavy for me at all, I ran with weights on my back all the time. I spun her in to a backpack on my back. I accelerated my pace until I was up to my normal morning jog pace, which was actually a sprint. She laughed behind me

"Is this how you got bigger." I nodded not slowing down in the slightest. I saw a large tree and wondered if I could climb it with Leah on my back. _One way to find out. _I turned off the path and jumped at the tree clawing and gripping and pulling myself up forcefully. I wasn't nearly as good at this as the Cullens but Leah seemed to be enjoying herself. I jumped from branch to branch, no destination but up. Finally when we reached the top of the branches we could put our weight on we stopped. Rather I stopped.

"It's beautiful up here, It's just amazing." I nodded pulling Leah off of me. I had changed since her absence. I liked taking risks now, I liked adrenaline. I often wondered if I had an adrenaline rush would I be stronger then a vampire? I didn't know… and if I did, would I be stronger then Emmett or just Alice? I walked across the branches as if they were tight ropes.

"We should probably get back for breakfast." I causally reminded her. I returned to her side then kissed her lightly on the lips.

"See you down there." I said turning and putting my hands out spread eagle, before falling backwards down. I flipped and then dropped head first straight down. I caught a branch to flip me upward and landed on my feet seconds before Leah hit the ground.

"Embry are you okay?" I shrugged

"Never better."

Sam was running out of events, or so I thought. We had all gathered together at the park. It seemed to be the sort of event center of our meets. I hadn't won an event yet, but today I would. I knew I was most likely the fastest member out of form, and I thought I might have caught up with Leah in speed in form, she'd have no way of knowing yet… I'd want to surprise her with that. How else was I suppose to do that

_"By the way, I know you take great pride in the fact that you're the fasting but I think I might be faster?" _I know It'll go over bad, but if I hold back she'll get even more angry.

"The first event will be the human sprint." Sam called out to everyone. For anyone listening in from the distance this would sound weird. Some one on the outside might wonder why say human? For us it meant no phasing, we'd have a phased run but right now it was unphased. Sam pulled out a crumpled map showing the edge of first beach. That was our finish line. Quil Senior was there waiting as the judge for who gets there first.

I felt quite confident that I'd win this race but didn't say a word. Next to me stretching Leah felt the same.

"Why don't they just give you first place already?" she said grabbing her food behind the rest of her leg.

"Who knows maybe some one else has been running?" With her free hand she slapped my shoulder.

"Whatever you ran faster then I can while you were carrying me." she said emphizing the word carry.

"shh, they might get the wrong idea about us Lee!" I teased her jokingly.

"What ever if they didn't know it already." I rolled my eyes. Really neither of us were huge fans of public displays of affection, but we usually had an arm around each other. Other times we got out of hand… but that could be the fact we hadn't seen each other in months. She turned away from the pack and whispered in my ear.

"I want you right now, I want to kidnap you and take you." I groaned a little.

"Now what did you have to tell me right now?" I said whispering back in to her ear.

"Sorry Emb, had to level the playing field."

"Something tells me you're not sorry at all." She smiled and took another step closer so our bodies were almost touching.

"Just beyond those trees, I was thinking about how fun it'd be right there… right now."

I tried to clear my head at the starting line, to help me out I lined up between Paul and Sam. Sam could see me trying to shake something, he had no idea.

"Something happen that have you miffed?" Sam asked. _Yeah Sam there is, something about your ex girlfriend saying how much she wanted to fuck me a couple minutes ago. How do I say that without saying it?_

"Yeah, I've got a lot on my mind." _Not a lot, just one thing, the way Leah would feel. Damn it focus Embry._

"Hah, by a lot you mean doing Leah." That was Paul next to me. _If only he knew in his stupidity he found the reason._

"Shut up Paul." Sam yelled over me. _One time Paul gets something right and Sam shuts him up. The world isn't fair is it?_

My mother started a count down, and then the race began. After ten strides I was ahead of the pack, by thirty they were distant behind me. I pushed harder, I could run faster, I hadn't ran without any weight on me in a long time. I pushed myself harder faster, I didn't need to win. I needed to run as fast as I could. The fact that it was faster then everyone else was simply a nice bonus. I pushed myself to the point where I felt like I was running too fast, As if my legs weren't touching the ground any more. I'd never ran this fast before. I saw Quil Senior in the distance. If I could push myself harder I did now. My body wasn't screaming in pain, but rather not sure if it could go any faster physically. I passed Quil Senior still sprinting realizing I couldn't slow down before the water. I sighed and launched myself in to the air, and out in to the ocean. I was going to make my way back in but realized it's been a very long time since I've been in the ocean. I stood up in the five foot water, I started making my way back, either way I didn't want to get pulled under. Amazingly I was quite tired from the run. I made my way back to shore as I saw Jacob and Sam neck in next running to the shore. They both spotted me pushed to get ahead of each other. They didn't slow down either, just made their own way splashing in to the ocean, Sam slowed down but Jacob hadn't he was still running full speed at me.

I didn't know what he was doing until it was too late. I tried to move out of the way but his head dropped and his shoulder rammed in to my hip as his arms wrapped around me. I was under water quickly and he pulled me up. It had become obvious what we were going to be doing for the next hours. The rest of the pack joined us, and very quickly it became Alpha's versus. Soon it wasn't us dunking everyone, more of a useless attempt not to get dunked when there were more then two to one odds. Sam, Jacob and I got a couple good shots in, but after it was all said and done we were exhausted. That would hold us off until after lunch at least for physical activity.

I looked over to the beach for the first time since the Alpha dunk contest started, it looked like the elders were standing watching us, or talking I couldn't tell which. I made my way back with my arm around Leah.

"Hey I'm going to run back to your house to change clothes." I called Leah making my way back to her house.

I got to the house and made it to the couch. I grabbed my clothes and put them on. Sitting down for a moment, and like that I was out.

It might have been the fact that I strenuously exercised for the last two hours, or it might have been the fact that I've been sleeping less and less every night because of Leah. Whatever the reason I was out in less then five seconds.

What woke me up was a pillow straight to the side of my head. I readjusted my neck as was my routine after waking up, I didn't sleep well I should have gotten comfortable. I opened my eyes, the pillow was swung very strongly. I guessed not by Leah, she'd want to have her fun with me instead of wake me up that way. I was right. My assailant was none other then Seth.

"Come on Embry, lunch time, then we've got the wolf race." He said, I forced my way up and followed behind him to the door.

**This chapter is a bit shorter, and technically speaking it doesn't move the story forward… sorry. Hey I did write it much faster, it's hard for me to write without any imperative, basically I know that there is too much fluff in the next chapters and these ones so it's hard to get excited to write (that's where all those shiny reviews come in) Basically if Dyn and another reviewer weren't kicking me in the ass to put this one out quick I wouldn't have, that and I told you all if you reviewed a lot I'd put it out quick so I did. The opposite is also true. Meaning I can't promise how long it'll take me to write, but it will DEFINITELY be quicker if lots of people review… rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, comments here**


	21. Victory!

**Disclaimer: This is a story bout a boy, who wrote a fanfic, and isn't Stephenie Meyer… and while he said so his disclaimer paragraphs… he doesn't want to get sued when he writes.**

**Disclaimer deuce: Sorry this one is shorter but hey if I didn't put it up it might have never gotten done.**

Embry's POV

The meal was fine, nothing tasted bad. I suppose I was just spoiled after everything I've eaten at the Cullens. For them cooking wasn't about getting something to eat, it was as if making art. How could people trying to serve ten people who ate like thirty? Our next event was the event I'd been waiting for all along. Race in form, I needed to know if all my work made me faster then Leah. If I won in her defense I've been running every single morning. No one else in the pack ever worked out. We all headed for the woods, the guys talking, Leah walking a bit further in so we could cop a look at her. Most the pack had learned the hard way about sneaking a look at Leah. I couldn't blame them it was insane to think some one that hot is stripping in front of them and they won't at least take a look. I cleared my mind and stripped, It'd been a long time since we all laughed and phased together. We phased together but then we were apart. I only heard Jacob's thoughts.

_"Finally, so what's up with you and Leah?" _Jacob thought at me.

_"I don't know, but right now I've got a race to win." _ My mind focused on the run. I don't know why I chose to run every morning, it seemed like the best exercise I could do, it gave me some time to think. We lined up, I lined up on the opposite side of the pack as Leah for a reason. I just thought it'd be better this way, I don't know. I do know she hates losing, but more then that she hates winning if I let her.

_"Let her win a race? Are you kidding me Embry?" _That was Jacob again. I knew I was faster then Jacob, so really the race was only between Leah and I.

_"That's a bit cocky for you." _I barked out a laugh and rest of the packs didn't understand. They all turned their heads then realized Jake was smiling too, must be something we're talking about.

_"I know I've changed a bit." _Quil Senior made his way to in front of us with a pistol.

_"What is this, a horse race?" _Jacob thought. I chuckled again and crouched in to running position. The pistol sounded and I pushed forward. In a matter of strides I was ahead of the pack, but Leah was still far in front of me.

_"Holy shit, what's she run on rocket fuel?"_ I dug my feet in trying to get to my full stride speed but I needed to work up to it, my muscle needed to accelerate. Leah was simply a bullet, no acceleration just pure speed. My body was accelerating, now the distance between Leah and I wasn't growing. Or I thought it wasn't, she was very distant, probably thirty yards in front of me. I dug in and pushed harder. My legs weren't at their maximum speed yet, I forced myself faster as I was very slowly catching up to Leah. The distance between us was closing. Ever so slowly I was making my way up to her, pushing my body harder against the ground, leaping farther with each bound. After a seemingly insurmountable time I was at her tail. She growled and pushed her legs harder slowly pulling away. _No Leah._ I had no knowledge of what my maximum speed was but I was pushing myself my legs further then I ever had, I wasn't in pain… it just strained, it was like I was stretching out for the first time in a year. Suddenly Leah and I were neck and neck. Our destination was the peak of the Olympic Peninsula. We were headed north and the distance was getting shorter faster. I relaxed mid stride and forced myself faster, fast as I physically could. My shoulder passed hers. Then my hip, and as the finish line came in to sight she was behind my tail. I passed Sue, Billy and my Mother and all their jaws were hanging open I slowed down and turned around to see Leah. She hadn't stopped she charged at me and tackled me. She pinned me still in wolf form. She growled very angrily at me. I chuckled. I didn't understand what was going on. _She must be pissed because I won. _I thought to myself

_"Holy shit you won?" Jacob thought at me_. I had forgotten about our mind link.

_"Yeah, but now I have to deal with a very pissed off Leah." _I thought. Leah hadn't released me yet. She had me pinned and I didn't know what I was going to do. I tried to move slightly but Leah really had me pinned, her mouth was open as if she was going to bite me. Truthfully I had the strength to get out be of she slipped right now her open teeth would fall on my throat, and I'd rather that didn't happen. Her eyes met mine and they changes slightly. They changed from angry to playful. I didn't understand but then I was swatted by a paw coming from the left. I looked at her and she was giggling as a werewolf. The idea was ludicrous. My wolfish eyebrow rose. _A giggling werewolf?_ I wanted to laugh but didn't know if I'd be safe to. Jacob was the next wolf in crossing the line then seeing Leah growling on top of me. I felt the pressure of Leah being pulled off of me. Jacob had pulled her off. I was more or less relieved but part of me didn't want her gone, it was a different experience as a wolf. I made my way to trees to phase back and did. I put my clothes back on but Leah hadn't she was still fuming. She was pacing back and forth trying to relax. She left and finally came back as human… she was yelling before I could see her.

"Embry you ass hole!" I heard as she came in to view. The rest of the pack was making their way here. The looks on their faces were shock and awe.

"You beat Leah in a race?" Jared called out not thinking how stupid it'd be to provoke her wraith. Leah made her way to me and looked like she wanted to hurt me again. She stopped her self short.

"How did you? When did you?" I tried to remain calm but this situation was rather amusing to me.

"I've been working out every single day." I said offhandedly. She looked a bit puzzled.

"Why it's not like you need it." I looked down then away. She grabbed my chin and redirected my eyes to hers.

"Why Embry?" _Why is this so important to her? Why does she need to know?_ I sighed

"It helped me with something." I said trying to avoid the next question that was obviously coming.

"What did it help you with?" she asked still holding my chin.

"It helped me get over you, or it was. I enjoy running now." I said off handedly. She looked hurt, and I wanted to comfort her but I was truthful. The rest of the day was uneventful but as we knew, Jacob came in third. We ate as a large pack again, and had a bonfire like the night before. We were sitting at the fire my arm around Leah. Where I wanted to be, I was content. I smiled brushing some hair out of Leah's face. She truly was beautiful. There were parts of her, dark parts but just like any other person, but when she smiled… she had me. she fell asleep in my arms I gathered her up in my arms and slowly made my way back to her house. I didn't want to wake her but I heard her breathing change and knew she had. she tried to act like she hadn't woken up and I laughed.

"Leah I can tell you're awake." she sighed changing her breath to normal.

"Let's just pretend you don't know that." I rolled my eyes. We made our way back in to the house Sue was waiting for us. She raised an eyebrow at me carrying her inside. Leah dropped the act a bit too fast. She jumped out of my arms and Sue held out a pile of mail.

"It's yours Leah." She nodded ignoring it.

"No, you need to check it." she rolled her eyes then turned to me. The traces of sleep in her eyes had all but disappeared.

"Wait for me upstairs I hope this doesn't take too long." I nodded in response. I drudged up to her room. She must have thought we were having sex. I still didn't know if we had yet. _What determines sex? What determines being a virgin? Why is there such a huge magical line in the center? It seemed off to me… some one who'd never kissed a girl and a guy whose done everything but sex are virgins? And the difference between them and I is I did have sex? Did what happened even count? Don't I get some leeway since we hadn't seen each other alone in too long? You think too much._ I smiled at my last thought and sat down on Leah's bed.

Leah's POV

I sifted through the junk mail I'd accumulated mostly it was credit cards and college offers. It looked like all junk one slipped out of my hands and landed on the ground. It wasn't the same as the rest of them. I threw the rest of the envelopes in the trash but picked this one up. The address was hand written. It had no return address on it. I carefully ripped it open and pulled out a sheet of paper… hand written again.

_**Dear Leah,**_

_**Hey Leah it's Patrick, You know your friend since second grade? Whatever I needed to write to you… It's been a while. I moved to Seattle a while back and haven't heard from anyone in La Push since. I guess that's my fault, hah. Umm I don't know why I'm writing you I just needed some one to write. I know I didn't give an address to write back to. I really miss the time we spent together. Like the time you almost hit me with a five Iron trying to golf? Yeah I missed all that dumb shit we did. I know it's my fault for moving away from La Push but you did too. I sent this to your parents cause I didn't know where you went exactly. I guess I've ran out of things to say.**_

_**Patrick**_

_**Note I**_

**Sorry for taking so long school's been horrible and everything's slowing me down. I hope my writing will pick up once they get back to Minnesota… Everyone review otherwise David might beat up Embry and win Leah's heart. (just kidding David is a pansy) (or is he?) Reviews, high fives, questions, rolls of twenty dollar bills… here.**


	22. A moment of Geek and the talk

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer does own Edward Cullen, but Stan Lee has Wolverine. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!**

**Disclaimer Deuce: okay this chapter is to appease my geek inside me. That and I thought about this at school and I thought it'd be really funny to have a real discussion about it.**

Embry's POV

I awoke to the smell of bacon. _That smells good_. I thought to myself before trying to move. I then realized Leah was sleeping on my arm. I leaned in and inhaled the scent of her hair. _Now that smells good_. I thought to myself chuckling. Leah stirred next to me. I hoped my amusement hadn't woken her up. She stretched out and her and pushed my face away. I laughed as she realized I was there, taking a mental checklist of her surroundings.

"Sorry" she yawned turning her face away so I didn't smell that. I started getting up adjusting my back as was my routine upon waking up. I finished and was starting to get up. Leah wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against my back. I smiled. I stood up and threw my shirt back on.

"Hey who said I was going to let you go?" I shrugged and patted my stomach. Smiling again.

"The bacon said so." I turned and left before she could cross her arms in anger. I made my way down the stairs. I nodded to Seth who was cooking. I stepped over to him and tried to help him with the eggs. It felt awkward cooking in some one else's kitchen. As I flipped the eggs I heard Leah stomping around upstairs.

"What did you do?" Seth said raising an eyebrow in question. He obviously heard Leah angrily moving upstairs. I laughed lightly.

"Do you really want to know?" Seth didn't need much time to consider that. He shook his head very definitely. I laughed again at his response. I put the eggs on the table and Seth finished soon after as well. Leah made her way down the stairs looking amazing as usual, but very pissed off as well.

"Eggs?" I offered as if I didn't understand her frustration. I set her plate before filling mine and I ate. She stewed on the other side of the table. I shoveled the food in to my mouth as had become routine. Seth followed but Leah ate slowly, deliberately. Seth cleaned up after himself and headed out the door. I cleaned up with him but figured it wouldn't be smart to push my luck. Seth left and I accepted my fate. She finished her food and she cleaned up after herself. Her anger had faltered… like it was dying in her with every second.

"Embry, do you find me attractive?" Leah asked. I struggled not to laugh. _How can she possibly think anything like that?_ If this was a serious question underplaying it was definitely the wrong choice. I made eye contact with her and made sure she was focused on me.

"Leah, you couldn't be further from the truth. I think you look beautiful, no matter if you just woke up, or if you'd been preparing for hours." I leaned in and kissed her, she returned it and wrapped her arms around me. She pulled away.

"Thanks Emb." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. I smiled at her and made my way out the front door.

The pack was gathered in the living room of Sam and Emily's home. The pack was talking. I took a spot on the couch next to Seth, Leah went in to the kitchen to talk to the girls. Seth stretched out.

"You know I've always wondered something since I first phased." I turned to him actually quite curious. He wasn't looking at anyone.

"Do you think we could take on the X-Men?" most the guys laughed but I thought about it for a bit.

"Well, I don't know, I mean Gambit, and Cyclops maybe. I would need to know how powerful those optical blasts are, and how much those cards hurt." I said taking his question seriously. Seth seemed to enjoy the fact I was taking it seriously.

"Same with Jubilee." I said thinking harder.

"What ever, we're stronger then them." Paul said rolling his eyes. Seth turned to Paul.

"Oh yeah? And how do you intend on beating someone who can fly and shoot you with lightning?" Paul didn't answer but Quil did.

"Wear rubber. You know Magneto would have nothing on us." Quil said also taking the question to heart.

"Storm could still cause a blizzard or a snow storm." Seth said continuing his argument.

"Well we're pretty warm, I don't think we can get cold anymore…" I had to give Quil that point.

"What about Night Crawler?" Seth asked adding to the discussion.

"The German monk? Doesn't he loathe violence?" Jared said dismissing him.

"Well the guy has some mad skills, besides didn't you see him in the beginning of the second X-Men Movie?" Jacob leaned forward.

"Wait a minute, I was going by the cartoon we going by the movie?" I shrugged in response.

"I think anything applicable should be considered." This discussion was actually getting interesting.

"Well in theory none of us could catch Night Crawler." Sam said paying attention to the conversation.

"But just because we can't kill him doesn't mean he can kill us either." I nodded, that did make sense.

"What about Toad?" I added. The rest of the pack looked at me with a question.

"You mean that character whose only ability is to be… a toad?" I rolled my eyes at their lack of vision.

"Didn't you see him in the movie, the guy was like a maniac, plus he was played by Ray Park." I added at the end. The rest of the pack looked at me once again, like I'd spoken a foreign language.

"Ray Park was Darth Maul in Star Wars." I added flatly. They nodded in response.

"Well Toad wouldn't stand a chance." Paul said dismissing my statement.

"But Darth Maul on the other hand." I said without finishing my idea. Jacob interrupted me.

"Let's keep this to X-Men Embry." Jacob said. I shrugged. _Darth Maul would kick our asses, no contest. _Jared laughed.

"There are no X-Men that could stand up to me." He was very proud of himself. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh please Jean Grey, or Professor Xavier could take over your mind, not that there's much to take over." I said rolling my eyes. Jacob laughed next to me as a bowl was thrown in my direction. I caught it, realizing that Emily wouldn't like broken dishes.

"Well that's not really fair some one who can use mind control?" Collin said sitting on the ground leaning on the chair Sam was in.

"Fine, apart from those two there is no one else that would stand a chance." Paul said agreeing finally.

"I'm the Juggernaut Bitch!" Brady quoted as if that was a decisive argument, it was. Some of us started laughing. Jared began to speak but I cut him off.

"Pimp slap yo ass!" I said to Jared. Once again the same people laughed, and the rest looked at me not understanding.

"Well Juggernaut is hard to battle, he's basically invincible." Sam noted shrugging his shoulders.

"Invincible until you take his helmet off." Quil added.

"Yes but once his helmets off Professor Xavier was the only one who could deal with him, so what now." I said cockily.

"Yes you do have a point." Jacob commented next to me.

"Okay so we don't have a definite answer for Juggernaut, but aren't you guys forgetting, someone?" I said stating what I believed was the obvious.

"Oh, like who?" Brady said slightly interested.

"Only the biggest bad ass in all of Marvel Comics, Wolverine!" I exclaimed finally.

"Oh him, yeah I could take him." Jared said unimpressed.

"Bull shit, you couldn't do shit to him!" I called back across the room.

"Whatever he just has claws, I'd bite his arm off, big deal, problem solved." I rolled my eyes and Jared's over confidence.

"Yeah right, you know he heals much faster then we do, besides his bones are covered in Adamantium, the strongest metal ever, you couldn't bite through that either, so even if you manage to skin him every single vital organ in his body is protected by the strongest metal known to man. And if you COULD do something to his organs, how do you know they wouldn't grow back?" I finished, believing I'd said enough.

"Yeah but." Jared started but I cut him off again.

"But nothing, he could cut through us his claws are also the sharpest metal known to man, but nothing, he could cut through all of us and we wouldn't have a prayer against him!" I finished again.

"But he's played by Hugh Jackman in the movies, Hugh Jackman! He's known for being in "Oklahoma" the musical, come on!" Paul exclaimed trying to argue from a different direction.

"Shut up, he did an amazing job with the part, he was a total bad ass." I said arguing from my original point.

"Plus he's hot." I heard from the other room. I nodded.

"Hugh Jackman _is_ hot." I commented flatly.

"What you check him out?" Jared jumped at the opportunity to try and make me look bad. I smiled. I baited him for this.

"What, you too afraid you're gay to know when a guy is hot or not?" Jared looked dumbfounded, it wasn't fair for me to pick a verbal battle.

"I came to have a battle of the wits with you, but it appears you are unarmed."

"Wait what?" Jared responded. I laughed again, it was cruel and harsh, but he couldn't beat me up like he could when we were kids. The rest of the packs tried not to show their obvious amusement but some failed. My phone was ringing, it was Alice, I was slightly surprised, Jasper was usually the one to call me.

"Ohh Embry you dog!" I laughed at the pun.

"What did I do?" I thought about it for a second. There was silence on the other side.

"Or should I ask what AM I going to do?" I heard some quiet arguing then the phone being passed.

"Nothing Embry, you're not going to do anything don't worry about it." That was Jasper. I had to laugh at his and Alice's relationship some times. Didn't always understand it, but I always enjoyed it.

"Do I want to know what Alice is referring to?" I could hear Alice trying to yell so I could hear but Jasper was muffling it very well.

"It's nothing Embry, Enjoy yourself." Something, some amusement in Jasper's tone gave away that he thought something was going to happen.

"Jasper… please tell me what's going on." Alice's voice was muffled and Jasper was laughing.

"Really Embry, it's nothing, have fun." The emphasis on fun had me wondering what exactly he meant then my mind turned to sex. It was the only reason why he'd empathize enjoying myself and having fun, they basically meant the same thing.

"Ah, bye Jasper." I said awkwardly finally. I heard chuckling from the other side of the phone. Then I heard Jasper's voice saying _'See I told you he'd figure it out.'_ He said that as if I couldn't here that either.

"Bye Embry."

"Bye Jasper, if you're going to hide something from me, do a better job, you know full well I could hear you." he laughed before hanging up the phone. I returned my phone to my side and tried to act naturally, as if nothing had happened. Jacob's eyes were immediately drawn to me.

"Emb, hey I need to talk to you about something." I nodded and left the house with him before people caught on. We continued walking until we were well out of hearing range of the pack.

"Embry, I didn't pick up most of what was said on the phone next to you, but it sounded like they told you that you are going to have sex with Leah."

"Yeah." I responded not sure what else to say. _Holy shit! Alice must have actually seen me having sex with Leah, that's embarrassing!_ My face reddened.

"What is it Embry?" my face hadn't returned to it's normal color it was supposed to be.

"If they knew I was going to have Sex with Leah… that mean's it was like Alice saw us, and if Alice saw us Edward saw us…" I couldn't even say it, it was embarrassing. Jacob started laughing.

"I'm not sure if I want to have sex or not." I said more to myself since Jacob was still laughing. He calmed his laughing but he was still smiling.

"Sounds like you're pretty sure to me." he said before he laughed again. I punched him in the shoulder and he started to rub is.

"The future isn't set in stone, if you don't want to decide not to. If you do want to, don't be a fool, wrap your tool, and have fun." I stopped Jacob and faced him raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Embry, I think I should have had the talk with you a while ago…" he sighed heavily. My jaw dropped. I couldn't speak because I was shocked. _Jacob are you honestly going to do this?_

"You see Embry, when a man loves a woman…" he faded off again.

"Shut up!" This time my I closed my fist and punched him across the face, hitting him above the jaw, not actually wanting to break something. He went down and came back up laughing.

"Sorry, couldn't resist mate." He said making an obvious movie quote. I rolled my eyes. I started heading back and he stopped my and looked me in the eye.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

**Woot! Quotes FTW!!! This one took a while, thank you for the hard core reviewers, your da best, I don't care what David says about you, I don't believe it! Speaking of David, his reappearance is in two chapters, what will he do? Will he save a bunch of money on his car insurance? Will he bake Embry a cake? Will he total Embry's car? Will he admit that he's a lesser man and jump off a cliff (like so many readers want?) Review and find out!!!! (please insert another quarter for another rant) Reviews, rolls of twenty dollar bills, high fives, and silly questions like "OMG ARE YOU REALLY A GUY?" right here. Then the other notes like "Seriously, are you a guy, I don't believe it, guys don't read twilight, and they definitely don't write it." Yeah those questions that aren't really questions, they go to PMs, Catch you on the Flipside. (by the way reviews directly determine writing speed, or how fast I post)**


	23. Cells

**Disclaimer: Strong in the Stephenie Meyer, I am not**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I had no idea how many of my readers didn't know I'm a guy. Seriously I'm a guy… is it that hard of a stretch for a guy to be straight, romantic and good at writing and writing twilight?**

Embry's POV

I had decided to try and figure out my cell phone as I weighed my opinions. I had finally moved all the songs I wanted for Jacob and the Cullen's. I had made my decision. I would wait to have sex with Leah until we were going out again. My attention returned to the pack Leah was talking to Rachel and Emily on the other side of the room. My phone started to ring.

_"You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you You're so vain, Ill bet you think this song is about you Don't you? Don't you?" _I flipped my phone open trying not to laugh at the ring tone I'd just set.

"Hey Rose what's up?" I said and the pack was chuckling at the song that played for Rosalie's ring tone. It really did sum her up though.

"Why are you wussing out." My eyes widened. Every one in the room besides Emily and Rachel had better then average hearing and could here this, including Leah. And more then anything else I didn't want her to hear this. I made my way out the door quickly.

"Oh Rose, I have no idea what you're talking about." I said trying to sound causal as Leah's eyes never left me. I closed the door behind me.

"Damn it Rosalie, they can hear what you say in there." I heard her perfectly pitched laugh from the other side of the receiver.

"That's kind of the point Emb, why are you backing out?" she said honestly not knowing.

"Well because I don't really want to do her when she's going out with David." I kept moving further from the house.

"Yeah like I believe that." I rolled my eyes.

"Since when did you start caring?" she laughed again and sighed.

"It's boring here and it's sunny to damn much, we're stuck inside all day, which is fine for Emmett and I, we have our fun, like last night."

"That's quite okay Rosalie" I said interrupting her. I didn't want explicit details on Emmett and Rosalie's sex life.

"Hold it Emmett wants to talk to you." I heard wind, It must have been Rosalie flinging her phone across the room.

"Now I know Alice said you're not going to have sex with Leah, but I would like to take a moment to be your older brother." I could hear anticipation in Emmett's voice. _Oh shit! He's not going to try to have the sex talk with me too is he?_

"Emmett, you don't need to have the talk with me, Jacob did that." I said trying to stop him.

"What gave you the idea I wanted to talk to you about safe sex?" He said starting to laugh. _Okay so maybe I overestimated this. _

"No Embry, I don't know if you know this, but women love it when you nibble on their ear, breathe in to it… and when you're taking off their clothes…" he said fading slightly.

"Hey, wow, wait a second Emmett." _Emmett wasn't trying to tell me about safe sex at all, he was trying to tell me how to do it better._ I stopped and laughed for a second, which was definitely like Emmett.

"Hey Emmett, it's okay umm I'll ask if I need something."

"Don't be too soft Embry." Emmett said continuing without provocation.

"Please Emmett stop I don't want to hear about how I _should _be pleasuring Leah." Emmett laughed on the other end of the phone. I turned and stopped breathing immediately. I was looking Leah in the eye. _Holy shit she must have heard that! _the color faded from my face, then returned in a bright crimson color.

"Hey… Hi Leah." I said awkwardly removing the phone from my ear.

"Hey Embry… who are you talking to?" Leah said slightly amused, but still embarrassed.

"No one important." I answered knowing full well Emmett could hear us because of his hearing.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you get some." I heard out of the phone. I turned it off quickly, I wouldn't suffer another embarrassment from Emmett. Emmett knew Leah was there, he was just trying to make it even more awkward. My focus returned to Leah.

"So, are you going to get some from some one I don't know?" Leah said closing the distance between us confidently.

"No, err, umm. That doesn't mean anything." I muttered trying to cover my tracks, failing miserably.

"So do you think you're going to get lucky with me or something?" she said pushing her body against mine I started to back up but stopped. She pushed me but I didn't back down, I didn't say much.

"Never." She turned with her ass against my front.

"Well maybe you will." I admired her ass as she walked away. _Hey was that so wrong? _I thought to myself, maybe I'd get that later. My mind drifted. _Would it really be so wrong to have sex? _I asked myself, maybe I would have sex, I'd love every part of it, take it in while it was there. I looked back to the house and sighed. I made my way back but my stopped when I felt my cell phone vibrate and heard "Indestructible" by Disturbed, that was Emmett's ring tone. I really didn't want to hear what he had to say but I picked up the phone.

"That's my boy!" I heard from the phone, it took only a second to register what he meant.

"Holy crap, are you guys just staring at Alice or something?"

"Actually Edward is just giving us the low down as Alice has the thoughts, it's much better then television." I heard chuckling in the back round and Edward's voice.

"Embry's going to hit you with his luggage when he gets back Emmett." I smiled finally using the visions to my advantage.

"Bye Emmett, I'm glad you're happy for me, but could you stop scolding me or giving me props every time my argument in my head changes?" Emmett made a sound then agreed. I turned off the phone and set it down. _Alice is getting better at reading my mind, but I guess it's because she's focused on it, I'd like to talk to her about it, maybe I'll call her._ I took a breath of air before reaching for my phone. A slow jazz sound of "Black Magic Woman" by Santana started. That was Alice's ring tone. _She IS getting good._

"Hey Alice." I smoothly answered my phone.

"Hey Embry!" she cheered, she sounded very excited to hear from me. I hadn't realized how much I missed her little ball of happiness she seemed to carry around with her.

"You're getting really good at reading me aren't you?" she seemed to appreciate my noticing.

"It's very hard to see but I'm really focusing on you right now so I'm picking up a lot more. It's still fuzzy but it's clearer then it was last week." She continued as she was excited.

"Hey I'm looking forward to seeing you soon." I could here her gratuitous joy. I really didn't think I was nearly as exciting and fun as she made me out to be.

"Yeah well I'll see you soon." I said as I came to the door in front of Sam's house. _Should I knock? That seems silly, I was already here._

"Bye Alice." I said concluding the conversation from my side.

"Well have fun!" she exclaimed and then giggled to herself before hanging up. I went to open the front door but Leah opened it before I could.

"Come on, let's go for a walk, I've got some things I want to talk about."

**Yeah I know it's a really short chapter but I felt bad since I haven't posted in over a week, a family tragedy happened… I'm leaving for the weekend Friday morning so leave me lot's of reviews and comment to come back to, thanks for your story loyalty? I don't know you know the drill, high fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills, and questions, comments and concerns here…**


	24. Sad But True

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight and spells her name like this Stephenie Meyer, however in spell check it says that Stephanie Meyer is the right way to spell it… craziness!**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Go team dignity!**

Embry's POV

We walked away from Sam's house and I shoved my hands in my pockets as we walked. I knew where she wanted to go what she wanted to do but I wasn't sure if that was what I wanted. I did know I needed to figure it out before we stopped to talk. We continued walking, I lead us away from the houses, I couldn't stop walking. Walking helped me think when my mind was muffled.  
"Embry can we stop and talk?" _Well no, because we'll never talk if we stop, I need to keep moving._ I thought to myself. I wouldn't tell her that though.  
"Walking helps keep my head clear." I said offhandedly. I didn't realize it could have a second meaning. I quickly regretted my words.  
"What did you me 'keep your head clear' what did you mean by that?" Leah said as if attacking me. I turned and stopped her putting my hands out in front of her.  
"I mean I need to do something walking calms me down helps me think, that's all." We both ignored the fact that looming over us. That Leah obviously was talking about distractions.  
She pulled herself closer to me and intertwined our arms. We continued walking until the road ended. We wandered in to the woods.  
"Why don't you trust me anymore?" She finally said stopping in her tracks I stopped only because her arm was still connected to mine. I worked to stifle a laugh coming out of my throat, I covered it as a cough.  
"Remember that part where you ran off and got a different boyfriend? Yeah that was the point I stopped trusting you, or maybe it was when you left me when I could have died!" She pulled away letting her fingers go.  
"Oh you just expected me not to care? You somehow expected that'd it'd be okay? I guess you never realized I haven't been able to look at another girl since, but hey what's that matter you replaced me so fast what difference does it make?" The look on her face was that of betrayal. All of a sudden she didn't know who she was talking to. It was a different person then I was. I expected her to run but she didn't she stared me in the eye trying to find me underneath.  
"You have no idea what you did to me, don't you get how much this hurt me?" Leah shifted her weight in front of me uncomfortably.  
"You do understand that I could have died and you would have not been at my funeral? You do understand that don't you?" She was very uncomfortable but I didn't budge and inch.  
"I knew you'd survive." She said trying to defend herself.  
"Oh, so because you knew I'd live through it that was enough?" I paced back and forth with both my hands pulling in my hair I was pulling my hair out over this woman.  
"So you never apologized for leaving, you never apologized for what you've done to me after all of this, so I assume you're not sorry for any of this, so nothing has changed, you don't even want me now…" I shook my head angrily. My body tightened my arms clenched and my muscles flexed. She didn't deny any of it. She didn't take anything back. She regretted nothing.  
"Don't follow me." I said looking her in the eye before crouching and jumping in to a tree. I heard her move but I jumped in to another tree, granted I was nowhere near as good at moving from tree to tree as the Cullens but there was no way Leah could follow me. I crossed to a clearing, then phased. I sprinted back to the pack, hopefully Leah ignored my wish and was trying to follow me, that would give me time to talk to the pack before leaving. I pushed harder faster, but not nearly as fast as when I was racing Leah, I didn't know if my body could run like that again. I phased back to my human form and redressed pulling out my cell phone.  
I opened the door without knocking still angry. Her scent hit my like a brick wall. She was definitely here. She appeared at the doorway to the kitchen with tears in her eyes, Emily was next to her, then Emily made her way to me and slapped me in the face. My expression didn't change, and neither did Emily's  
"How dare you say that to my cousin!" Emily yelled at me, I looked over her at Jacob who was now standing. His expression was that of worry, as was the rest of the pack.  
"Jacob, we're leaving." I turned to the rest of the pack ignoring Emily who was over a foot shorter then me standing in front of me.  
"Quil, it was great seeing you again, Seth you suck at keeping secrets from Edward, Jared we'll have to wrestle again later, Paul don't give my dad any more grey hairs, Collin, Brady?" I stopped I knew neither of them that well. Brady laughed.  
"It's okay Embry."  
"No it's not okay!" Emily exclaimed under me. I continued to ignore Emily standing in front of me trying to reprimand me. Sam stood with his arms crossed obviously displeased I was ignoring Emily but understood why. I rolled my eyes and made my way out the door Jacob following behind me. My arm was caught.  
"You ARE going to apologize to Leah before you leave." I laughed and softly removed my hand from hers.  
"I'm not sorry for my words, I don't give fake apologies like you do." I said staring Emily in the eye. Sam was now moving closer to me trying to stop me before I continued. He couldn't stop me.  
"You can tell Leah how sorry you are for all of this, but stop it's always made me sick to know that her cousin went and fell in love with her man and still she loves him, it's fucked up. And then you have the gall to go and apologize for it, like you're sorry." I laughed harshly.  
"You're not sorry at all, you've never been happier then when you're with Sam. Sam with you, and yet she still loves him, and here I am trying my hardest to put her back together and she runs off with some two bit half boy half asshole cause she doesn't love me anymore. So no, I'm not sorry for a word I said, it's all true, and if the truth makes her cry, then she's got to fucking look at her life and change it." Emily stood shocked that I'd talked back to her.  
"I'm sorry I yelled at you Emily." I said much softer before turning and running out the door with Jacob. I flipped my phone out dialing Jasper as we ran.  
"Hey you still got some friends in Seattle?" I asked as we ran before phasing.  
"Yeah of course, what do you need?" Jasper asked slightly curious.  
"Let's just say we need a ride to the airport I think we wore out our welcome." Jacob snorted next to me.  
"You mean YOU wore out your welcome." I laughed.  
"Yeah sorry Jasper, I wore out my welcome."  
"Hey no problem I'll have them pick you up at the edge of Seattle."  
"Don't you need to ask them?" Jasper laughed on the other side of the line.  
"No, with the right amount of money people move, that and fear." I smiled, Jasper will be Jasper.  
"Hey I'll make a couple calls. I'll call you back and tell you what you're looking for." Jacob and I stripped our clothes near the woods and phased. I filled Jacob in on what happened with Leah while we ran to Seattle.  
_"Wow I can't believe you said that!" Jacob thought at me. _His mind then drifted to all the times I'd minced words or said less then I meant when talking to her._  
"Yeah I can't believe I said it either, and even as I look back now, nothing I said was untrue." _My mind replayed the conversation again._  
"Nope, I didn't lie, I could have said it nicer though." _I thought to myself regretting how hard I was. My mind turned to David, and my heart hardened. We came to a clearing and phased in tree cover. We tried to walk casually but it seemed odd to appear from the trees on an abandoned road near Seattle. My cell phone rang.  
_"Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que ce'est? fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better Run run run run run run run away Oh Oh Oh Psycho Killer"_ I laughed as I flipped open the phone.  
"Hey Jasper what's up?" I said calming myself down.  
"They will be driving a black Sedan, they won't ask a single question, and you two won't say a single word during the whole trip." I laughed slightly. I was curious how this all worked out but I wouldn't ask.  
"Yes sir." I said mocking a salute over the phone.  
"Take care Embry." Jasper said seriously.  
"You too I'll see you before you know it."  
"I highly doubt it." he answered. I guess he was right with Alice and all. He hung up and I followed. Jacob had heard everything I had said. Parked down the road behind a tree was a black Sedan, as Jasper had described it. I was very curious about his network but I wouldn't ask. We approached the car and two large men got out of the car, there eyes betrayed their feelings for only a second. They were definitely surprised by our size. We climbed in to the car and as Jasper said they didn't say a single word, Jacob and I kept the same tone. They dropped us off at the airport without a word and drove off. Without much hassle we were up in the sky again. I abhorred first class flights, it made me feel like a stuck up prick but I hadn't bought the ticket. Sitting a couple rows ahead of us was some one I recognized from TV but didn't care to grovel over. Really I was just in a bad mood. We touched down in the Minneapolis airport I walked off quickly with my backpack in hand, a wave of calmness hit my hard. Jasper must be around. At first I didn't see him then I saw a man wearing a long trench coat. I looked outside, Yes it was sunny outside and Jasper came around. I assumed he must have gloves on under his sleeves, sure enough when his hands appeared they were gloved. I was wondering why he didn't come closer, then I realized I was standing near a window on a sunny day. I made my way to him and he placed his hands on my arms softly. My body relaxed immediately. My body soon wanted to sit down and the calmness dulled slightly.  
"Hey, I kind of need to wait a couple more hours till the sun goes down to leave if that's okay with you." I didn't say it but I wondered when he got here.  
"Oh I've been here since before sunrise, some one had to pick you up" he said as if he could read my mind, no he could only read my feelings, and sometimes that was more useful then Edward's ability to read thoughts. We sat in the terminal for the next hours I tried to sleep Jasper seemed content to do nothing and Jacob was asleep on my opposite side. The sun was going down and like Jasper I was wearing a trench coat, it was a cool fall day but I didn't wear it for that reason, it was to try and not stand out, Jacob wore one on my other side. Jasper wore his hood up on his trench coat, not chancing the sunlight coming in. Jasper stiffened next to me.  
"Well we've got two problems and both of them are werewolves" he said quietly to me, Jacob could hear me. I didn't understand at first, I was trying to rest.  
"Hey Harley, thanks for picking me up, My holiday back at La Push didn't go as planned." _Holy shit you've got to be kidding me. _I felt a warm wave of comfort wash over me.  
"Put your hood up and stay where you are, we don't need any extra attention more then the security staring at us as it is." Jasper said barely over a whisper. I followed his command and put my hood up, Jacob did the same. Leah wouldn't cause a ruckus here, not if she didn't know we were right here.  
"Hey no problem Cousin." He said with his voice drifting, his eyes turned to us with the rest of his body, then he took a large sniff and started making his way towards us slowly, then moved his pace faster. For a moment I didn't understand then I felt Jasper's body stiffen. _He smells Jasper, he's never smelt a Vampire, his natural instinct… _I thought to myself before standing and matching my pace to Harley's. I pulled my hood down theatrically and extended both my arms.  
"It's been too long friend it's great to see you." I called. Harley's attention wasn't on me but it didn't need to be. I grasped Harley in a tight hug which he wasn't expecting and his arms wrapped around me because they were already out.  
"You don't want to do this Harley, stop now. Leah will tell you the same thing, she's running here right now to stop you, Stop now." I whispered in to his ear, still hugging him. Leah was coming up behind him. Her face betrayed both a surprised and an amused look. Leah came to my side but I didn't release him right away.  
"Oh Amy it's so good to see you too!" I said as jubilant as I could. Leah smirked at my name for her but played her part.  
"Harley we've really need to leave to get home in time for dinner!" Leah called smiling. Harley's eyes focused slightly and I started to release my hug.  
"You don't want to do this here." I said finally letting go of Harley, his body relaxed I assumed by Jasper's command. I turned back to Leah.  
"Give baby David my love." I smiled insincerely at her. She had to work to keep from laughing I turned around quickly and made my way back to Jasper and Jacob.  
"Come on, I think we should go for a walk." Jacob nodded and followed behind Jasper as we made our way away from the terminal. We continued to walk with no destination until Jasper decided it was dark enough to leave. Jasper pulled his hood down as we walked outside. We piled in to the Volvo and Jasper sped away, it felt as if started breathing again after we were out of the airport, honestly he might have stopped breathing, then I realized what he did.  
"Jasper, you waiting all day in a place full of humans, just to pick us up, I know it was horrible torture why did you do it?" Jasper seemed finally relaxed, for the first time since I've seen him today.  
"I thought you needed me." He said asking a question in response to mine. I never knew how Jasper was so loyal to me.  
"It was great to see you, but I don't want you to torture yourself over it." Jasper nodded. Jasper's eyes returned to the road and silence filled the car for a couple seconds. Lights passed in and out of the car as we drove through the cities.  
"Embry?" Jasper asked as if he didn't know I was awake.  
"Yeah Jasper?" I asked wondering what he was getting at.  
"I'm sorry about your trip."

**Sorry that's kind of a crappy ending to the chapter but I didn't know what else to put, and before you come after me with torches and pitch forks know that I felt Embry was getting kicked around too much and losing a bit too much dignity. Well you know the deal writing = time/comments. So give me lots a comments and I'll write more and faster. Thanks for reading everyone, I'm still figuring where this will go but I've got plenty of ideas, none the less give me yours, and a some rolls of twenty dollar bills if you don't want me to get a job and just write like a hobo. High fives here, and stuff… so comment.**


	25. Welcome Home

**Disclaimer: Well let's see, I don't think Stephenie Meyer would be writing this… especially the songs I put in there…**

**Disclaimer deuce: I had fun with this chapter… It all came from the lyrics of Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria.**

Embry's POV:

When we got in to the house and Emmett was grinning. I stepped further in and saw something I'd seen before.  
"Is that Guitar Hero World Tour?" I asked Emmett. He nodded still grinning.  
"Actually we have Rock Band in right now." My mind was still blurry.  
"Wait a second, when did we get an XboX 360?" Emmett laughed and Edward shrugged.  
"A couple hours ago?" I rolled my eyes.  
"Oh Emmett got bored and wanted to play something so we picked it up." Emmett passed me the microphone.  
"Come on I found a song you need to sing right now." I laughed as they picked a song called "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria. I didn't like singing in front of people. Esme and Carlisle left the room disheartened by the choice of song. Edward was on the drums, Jasper climbed on guitar and Emmett on bass. The song started and it had a bad ass guitar part, then drum part. Something told me there was something in the lyrics that Carlisle and Esme didn't approve of, and the words began.  
"You could have been all I wanted  
But you weren't honest

Now get in the ground." _Oh, it's going to be a song like that isn't it? well I know there is a reason he picked this song…_

"You've choked off the surest of favors  
But if you really loved me  
You would have endured my world" _Damn I guess I know why they picked this one, I wonder how bad it's going to get.  
_"Well if you're just as I presumed  
A whore in sheeps clothing

------- up all I do!" _Well I guess that's why they left. I assume that was fucking. _I

laughed to myself.

"And if it's here we stop

Then never again

Will you see this in your life" _Wow this is some heavy shit right here, I guess I see why they wanted me to sing it._

"Hang on to the glory at my right hand

Here laid to rest, is our love ever longed." _Wow seriously this is some heavy shit, no wonder Carlisle and Esme stepped out._

"With truth on the shores of compassion  
You seem to take premise to all of these songs" _Crap I'm almost failing!_

"You stormed off to scar the armada

Like Jesus played matyr

I'll drill through your hands" _Woah… this is a bit heavy for me. _I shook my head at the lyrics. _Crazy._

"The stone for the curse you have blamed  
With love and devotion I'll die as you sleep." _Wait, what the hell? _I spent my time trying to figure out what I just sang.

"But if you could just write me out.

To neverless wonder… happy will I become."

"Be true that this is no option

So with sin I condemn you

Demon pray, demon out" _I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what that means… What the hell could be next?_

"Hang on to the glory at my right hand

Here laid to rest is our love ever longed

With truth on the shores of compassion

You seem to take premise to all of these songs."

"One last wish for you  
One last kiss for you

Please make up your mind girl  
I'd do anything for you." I felt the song building.

"One last wish for you

One last kiss for you

Please make up your mind girl

Before I hope you die!" _Wow._ I thought to myself as Jasper played a guitar solo. The song ended and I hadn't gotten over the lyrics. I didn't know what I felt about them, I knew right now I felt most of them, but if I could never say them, then I remembered Edward could read my mind and turned to him, his eyes were on me. Color drained from my face.

"I need to go think." I said quickly running out of the house. Edward nodded but everyone else thought it was strange. I made my way to the garage grabbing my keys for my bike, the loud engine would help clear my mind. After leaving the driveway I took a back road and a couple turns and I was on the freeway. I pushed to eighty and held there, the wind in my face the loud noise of the engine, all were comforting. I weaved out past an Acura, slightly closer then I should have. I guess I was pretty aggressive. I turned off at the Clearwater exit and took it back to it's water tower. I parked my bike at the bottom of the water tower and climbed up the rungs. I heard a familiar bike and saw as I made it to the top, Jasper's motorcycle. He parked at the bottom of the water tower next to my bike and was up the rungs at my side.  
"What did Edward tell you?" I asked without turning around to face him. I turned to face him and read his face, I'd gotten better at reading him when he wasn't trying to hide something. Right now he wasn't hiding anything, I knew that much.  
"Nothing, Edward told me nothing, I came because the lyrics of the song were pretty strong, knowing you, knowing what you were feeling, I'm guessing you came here to figure out what you really think about her." _So we've gone back to call her Her? Did he ever stop calling her Her?_

"Well you figured me out I guess." Jasper laughed next to me and put his cold hand on my shoulder only for a second, as a sign of comfort, but when some one does that it's supposed to be warm, I guess the sentiment could be lost on vampires, but not the meaning.  
"Emb, I haven't ever gotten close to figuring you out, I cheat." I laughed in response to Jasper, he was my best friend, even though he was a reformed blood addict. I laughed to myself.

"What is it Emb?" Jasper asked not understanding my laughter.

"Just thinking of titles for you."

"Like what?" Jasper asked curiously.

"Reformed blood addict." Jasper chuckled next to me.

"Like HA? Humanalic's anonymous?" Jasper said continuing my thought

"That or Humalic." We stopped and pondered for a bit.

"I think I prefer Blood Addict." Jasper concluded. I shrugged at his side. We stared silently out across the freeway and over to the fields, neither of us saying a word, the cold November wind was refreshing. Here we were at eleven P.M. on top of the water tower, watching the cars fly by, for most you wouldn't be able to appreciate the scenery, but we could, we both had much better then average sight.  
"Jasper, did I make the right choice." I said without elaborating he knew what I was talking about though.  
"Yes Embry, you did, she'll come back if she can." Jasper sighed wistfully. I raised my eyebrow looking at Jasper.

"How do you know?" I asked him. He was never close enough to her to get her feelings off of her, unless he did at the airport, which was unlikely given the distance.

"I don't know… I just feel it off her, and not because of my ability." I nodded in response. I looked in to the vast night, having one of my many moments of reflection.

"I some times wonder, if I jump what will it feel like to land, how will the air feel in my hair, how will my bones break? Will I die?" I asked out loud. Most people would immediately tell me not to think of such things. Most people would tell me it's not worth it. Most people would tell me they need me and I shouldn't do it. Jasper isn't most people.

"It feels great, the wind flying through your hair, and for a short moment believing you have control, that you can end your life if you please… then you realize it's all for naught, you can't end your life, you have no control, you simply have what you had before… Just now you realize that is it." I wasn't surprised at Jasper.

"Really, it's all just futile, because as we grasp for control, we realize we never had control, just the illusion of control, not real control at all. With age comes wisdom? Ha with age comes stupidity. I'll take my ignorance and young vigor over age and realization of the real world." I stopped and realized he was ranting.

"Jasper, the difference is… You're immortal I'm not." Jasper threw his head back and laughed.

"And just like I you have no control. Just the illusion of control, oh how I wish I could return to that sweet bliss that came with my youth." I raised my eyebrow at Jasper.

"Are you calling me stupid Jasper?" he smiled.

"No, just young." He continued as he stared wistfully.

"Granted it's not all bad, I've changed you've changed me." he threw his head back and laughed.

"You're the most interesting thing that's happened to me since I joined this family."

"Jump Embry, but it won't change anything." I looked at Jasper then took two steps and leapt. Jasper was right, the air felt like freedom I expected pain to follow but instead I felt cold hands wrapping around me and before I knew it I was on Jaspers back on the ground.

"What did you do?" Jasper shrugged.

"I just jumped down instead of jumped up caught you and pushed off the water tower, flipped and landed on the ground." Jasper said offhandedly like it wasn't a big deal. My jaw dropped at Jasper, he never ceases to amaze me. Jasper walked back to the bikes and climbed on his.

"I needed to get away from Edward, I wasn't prepared to have him hear those thoughts."

"Edward didn't tell anyone emb, not even Bella." I must have looked relieved and surprised because Jasper continued.

"Edward gives us our privacy for the most part." Jasper said. We drove back home on the freeway I wasn't pushing the speed limit and neither was Jasper this time. We got back home and everyone was doing their own thing. My bodies sleepiness finally caught up with me and hit me like a truck. Once I had stopped things and stopped for a second I was tired. I threw my body in to bed and turned on the radio by my head.

"So if you're pissed like me

Bitches, here's what you gotta do

Put your middle finger up in the air

Go on and say "F--- You!" _You've got to be kidding me. _I laughed listening to the lyrics.

"I hate my job, all of my rich friends

I hate everyone to the bitter end

Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight

I hate my life!" _Hmm sounds pretty accurate. What about the Cullens? Their my rich family I argued with myself._

"So much at stake, can't catch a break

I hate my life!

No it's nothing new to hear "It sucks to be you"

I F------ my life!" I turned over trying to fall asleep, now laughing, _How true._

**Yeah I got lots of reviews on my last chapter, Peeps! I'm back in my groove now that they are back in Minnesota, I couldn't write like I can now. Thank you to everyone who reviews you help me keep writing I would have given up a long time ago without the help of all my reviewers, especially Ari who has commented on every single one of my chapters, thanks! But anyway I'm really poor so give me those rolls of twenty dollar bills, as always high fives work too! Give reviews… Catch you on the flip side**


	26. Dang Testosterone Fueled Boys

**Disclaimer: We have guns, No what you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing, because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded. (no I'm not Stephenie Meyer, and I haven't figured out how that quote relates to that yet…)**  
**Disclaimer Deuce: So This chapter is longer and stuff… I expect lots of epic reviews!**

Leah's POV

It'd been a silent ride back to the reservation with Harley. I could tell he had many questions but didn't ask any. I was grateful for that. We arrived at the place I was living, and unfortunately Dave was waiting for me. I called it the place I lived because my home was La Push, no I just left home.  
"Leah dear, I missed you." Dave jumped up and hugged me, I returned it, it didn't feel the same though, not as the same as Embry.  
"Dave could you excuse us we've got some things we need to talk about." Dave looked offended like nothing could be more important then him right now.  
"Hey she's my girlfriend, I can hear what ever you need to say." Harley's eyes turned to mine and behind Dave he wore an amused smile. I kept my face monotone.  
"We were at the Minneapolis airport and we ran in to some old friends." Harley said as his voice faded. Dave didn't pick up the hint.  
"Really? Anyone I would know?" Harley laughed, some times he could be a jerk, but I saw the humor in this even though it frustrated me.  
"Yeah, Embry and Jacob." Harley said offhandedly. Dave still didn't follow. He wore a stupid look in his face. _Why the hell am I going out with this doofus? Because you're looking for something besides Embry, remember? Trying to force some one else to be the right guy. Shut up bitch._  
"Dave, you remember, the guy who busted your nose… twice." Dave immediately tensed and got angry.  
"What the hell were those losers doing there?" _Wow Dave, you blow me away with your insulting prowess. Seriously? I dumped Embry and came back to this?_  
"That's not what I'm worried about, but the company they kept… I think that was a Vampire." The look on Harley's face said he didn't believe what he was saying himself. _I suppose it'd make sense, Vampire's are in their history as well, but they've never met any themselves, it makes sense that he doesn't even believe it. All he knows is his natural instinct is to hunt them, but Jasper is NOT the vampire you want to hunt Harley._  
"He's not a problem. We'll leave him alone." Harley's eyes widened and his mouth opened.  
"Leah dear, you should probably unpack, we wolves need to talk about this, Harley let's get everyone together." I laughed evilly. _Might as well tell him._  
"Yeah, Dave… here's the deal, I'm a werewolf as well, the only female one in history, Jacob, you know the one who used your face as a punching bag? Yeah he's my Alpha." Dave didn't like that I used a reference to his face as a punching bag but I thought it was good.  
"Maybe Just the two of us should go, check it out." _No! You could both get killed, not because of the Cullens, because you're testosterone run dogs.  
_"I'm going with you" Dave cheered next to me.  
"They'll never see it coming." I laughed at the idea we could sneak up on them. _Sure Alice can't see us, but you really think they won't smell or hear us, we're wolves you think we can sneak up on them?  
_"You'll lead us right to them and we can take them." Dave said laughing hysterically. I shook my head furiously.  
"I'm leading you nowhere, No I'm going to protect you from yourselves, don't go. You'll get hurt or killed." I said frustrated with their lack of foresight.  
"Let's go, we'll catch them by surprise when their sleeping." Dave cheered I rolled my eyes. Harley walked Out the door and David followed, I followed close behind them knowing I'd need to protect them from themselves.

* * *

We neared the tree's near the Cullen's home, I was now more worried about fighting then before, sure Harley and Dave were smaller but they were both faster than me, Dave was the fastest and smallest in the pack, Harley was the largest, and second fastest, Harley was the Alpha but he still was smaller than Jared or Paul, meaning Embry and Jacob were still quite large compared to those two, I also had learned that Harley had spent time hunting in form to try and develop fighting skills while in form, Harley wasn't going to be a push over, and he was probably going to be faster than Embry too, but Dave definitely. However I didn't favor either of them over Embry, no Embry was faster then I was, and the largest of all the wolves. _Is that the first time you actually admitted he is faster than you? Yes, yes it is. _Even if I didn't have feelings for Embry I would need to stop and admire what a wolf he'd become, easily the most effective killing machine of us all, Sam didn't stand a chance against him and neither did Jacob, maybe they did but it was just my perspective that he'd be the most powerful wolf, maybe it was my twisted heart.  
"What's the best way to sneak up on them?" Harley asked seriously, I couldn't believe Dave was excited for this. _Damn testosterone fueled boy, yeah he's a boy, nothing more. _Embry didn't want to fight but he was never afraid to, I guess that small difference meant the world to me.  
"Well it's umm impossible to sneak up on them, they don't sleep." Harley asked terribly serious. He gave me a look that said I should have told him sooner, I returned it, they never gave me a chance to.  
"well umm, they're kind of like the seven eleven they're not always doing business, but they're always open." I responded trying to say the same thing in a different way. Harley raised an eyebrow to me. We stepped out of the woods until we could see the house and on the front porch were three familiar faces. Jacob and Embry in front both with their arms crossed looking very intimidating to me. But the real intimidating one was right behind them. _Jasper_. Embry turned back to Jasper and said something I couldn't hear, Jasper disappeared in to the house and Embry and Jacob took two steps off the front porch and crossed their arms. It looked funny to me, but only since I knew Jacob and Embry so well, Embry was so soft, kind, the idea of him being scary was funny to me. We took steps out of the woods I couldn't make it out but it looked like Embry was angry, his frame was shaking.  
"YOU BROUGHT THEM TO US?" He yelled as clear as day. It was two in the morning. His body was shaking.  
"Phase… right now…" I said quietly but neither did, they were petrified by the transformation of Embry that was happening. It made sense, they'd never seen one of our wolves transform, even from a distance it was obvious that Embry was massive compared to us. Jacob was standing at a distance still human with a smirk on his face, he caught the fear in Dave and Harley's eyes.  
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Dave said with his jaw dropped. Harley's expression was the same, his jaw was closed.  
"Leave now and no one will be harmed, we'll forget you came, but if you fight us you cannot win, if you could they won't let you." Jacob yelled out to us. I knew all too well who they were, _The Cullens_.  
"Come on let's phase, they probably can't even move, I bet that Embry guy is slower then Chad." Dave said commenting about the slowest werewolf. _How wrong you are Dave, you're probably faster than him, but I don't know if Harley is. _Dave and Harley made their ways in to the trees to phase. Embry turned and Jacob stripped and phased behind him. I ran in the forest to phase, I couldn't stop anything in my human form…

Harley's POV

I phased and Dave's mind joined my own.  
_ "Let's show those big slow Wolves how real wolves fight."_ Dave cheered I didn't share his enthusiasm however. I stepped out of the trees and saw a second wolf barely smaller then the first.  
_"You've got to be fucking kidding me." _Dave thought at me._ No, they aren't kidding around we shouldn't either, We better hope they're not fast or we're F'ed. I thought to myself, luckily Dave couldn't hear my grim assessment of the situation like Leah's pack could. _A smaller werewolf roughly the size of Dave stood in our way. It must have been Leah. She seemed to be trying to stop us. Dave and I both had the same thought and bypassed her and ran at the two very large wolves in front of us.  
_"I want Embry." _Dave thought at me. _Your funeral _I thought to myself, as I turned and faced off against the slightly smaller Jacob.

Embry's POV

"_I want David." _I thought at Jacob. He could feel my want for revenge, my need for blood, it wasn't like me and it worried him I could feel it, but he wouldn't stop me, after all he got a couple shots on David already.  
_"Okay I'll take Harley then."_ It appeared as if that was how David wanted it anyway as he lined up against me, I could tell he was very quick on his feet, possibly faster then I was, but I did definitely had a size and strength advantage, I could already tell I was stronger than him in the way he ran, much less the fact he was the size of Leah. He jumped back and forth before attacking, It gave away his speed, he was definitely faster than me, but not enough to give him a real advantage, I could see he had never fought before, or was at least new to it. I jumped to the side then pounced ramming my head in to his side throwing his much smaller body ten yards in the air.  
_"Oh this is going to be fun, I wasn't even trying that time."_ I thought and Jacob scolded me. I turned to see Jacob was definitely focused one Harley Brown. He wasn't as green as David was. He moved gracefully and Jacob was having a difficult time keeping up with him, Sure Jacob was bigger and stronger but Harley was using his speed to his full advantage, They were well matched, Jacob just wasn't used to fighting someone faster than him, and never a wolf bigger then Leah. David stood giving me a look as if he thought his flight courtesy of my head was an accident, like he wouldn't be caught off guard again. He ran at me in the same pattern as before, I moved and got under his head and launched him much farther in to the trees this time. Once he returned he looked sore, I charged this time he moved quickly but didn't know where to go and I my mouth on his shoulder biting down then releasing. _Embry, you don't want to do any permanent damage! _I thought as I let go. _Why don't I? _I thought to myself then answered that it wasn't me, before I could distract Jacob with my dark thoughts, he needed to stay focused, Harley was getting the better of him still.  
David was limping. _Stupid David, never show your enemy your weaknesses._ David jumped at me trying to catch me in mid air, I took three bounds forward and jumped straight up catching him in mid air and landing him on his back pinning him to the ground. My left paw was on his throat. He tried to squirm free but caught my right paw across his face, it was more of an insult then a real attack. He slipped out from under me and ran then phased back to his human form. _You dumbass there is no time out. You think any real foe would give you a time out? You know what you've done to me and you think I'll give you a fucking time out?  
__"EMBRY NO!" _I heard Jacob yell through his thoughts, as Harley took the momentary distraction to get his teeth on Jacob's leg. David was across the expanses of the field. Leah was still trying to stop Jacob and Harley. She didn't know what I was going to do, really I didn't either. I bent my body, and then I sprinted at David. My thoughts were all dark, how he'd stolen from me the one thing that mattered to me. My body flexing my body not running nearly as fast as it could but he was in shock facing me he hadn't moved an inch. _Who are you Embry? Who do you want to be? Make yourself who you want to be._ I heard Harry Clearwater's voice in my mind. I continued to sprint and leapt in midair phasing back to a human catching David by the shoulders and tackling him to the ground. I heard a cracking sound I'd only assumed his shoulders. I knew I cracked something. I cocked my arm back while I was kneeling on the ground over him and punched his jaw breaking it and my knuckle at the same time. I kept David pinned under me as he yelled in pain I pulled my fist back again and turned to Jacob and Harley fighting.  
"STOP NOW! Or I'll keep going and I can kill him before you get here." I knew it was a bluff but Harley didn't. I didn't have the killer in me anymore. Jacob and Harley detached each other and Harley backed away slowly. I looked down at David with anger in my eyes… I clenched my fist then let it go. I stood over him and held back the urge to spit at him and walked away back towards my home. _Yes, my home. _Jacob was at my side in his wolf form in a second he blocked Leah from seeing me, but it was more of a symbol of protecting me from her. She disappeared in to the trees for a moment then came back hastily dressed, I was still naked, but hidden by Jacob's body, I put my hands on his shoulder where he had been bitten and jerked around. Leah approached and Carlisle appeared next to me with some shorts. I threw them on and Carlisle ran behind the house and returned with Jacob phased and dressed, his shoulder and side were pretty badly ripped up, Carlisle led Jacob inside. Leah was now face to face with me.  
"Why don't you make like a tree… and get the fuck out of here." Leah raised her eyebrow to me.  
"Really Embry? Movie quotes?" she said not sure if she should be amused or not. She took another step closer, confidence radiating off her. _How does she do that? How is she that confident? How? Because she rules your world remember? Shut the fuck up! _ I was angry but she wasn't going to rule my world this time.  
"Well are you here to apologize for what you did to me." She smiled and ran her fingers up and down my shoulder that was barely marked from our little encounter with David.  
"I was thinking of a more… physical apology." _No no no! Embry don't let her manipulate you like this again? Come on you know you want to feel the way her skin feels her fingers on your bare chest! NO!!! _I screamed mentally her fingers traced my chest and I felt my body start to respond and I shut myself down.  
"No Leah, that's not good enough this time, there some things that a little time can't erase. The way you left me isn't okay, it wasn't fine. I needed you and you weren't there you left me for dead. I can't be with you until you're actually sorry please leave, you came with him! How the hell do you think I'll be okay with that? Go back to your new lover…" I said regretting every syllable. Every sound… then the look on her face.

Leah's POV

"…Go back to your new lover…" My mind froze at those six words. He was my only lover, he was my love I don't know what that made Dave, but I couldn't respond, couldn't argue, I shut down. I knew he regretted what he said it was plain on his face, but he didn't take anything back. I could tell he wanted to be with me but that wasn't good enough for him, he wanted me to fix my problems. I turned my back and in defeat made my way back to the woods. I was leaving him again, but it wasn't my choice.

Embry's POV

I watched her go but needed to run in to the house, I made it inside the door and closed it behind me. At that moment my body gave out, before I hit the ground I was caught by Alice. Little Alice was holding me in her arms, supporting my weight. I immediately tried to escape her grasp. I didn't need to be held, but seeing that she was definitely stronger then me, especially after fighting and everything she didn't let go, in fact she grabbed me and flipped me in to her arms and cradled me like a toddler, a nearly seven foot tall toddler."Alice, let me go." She shook her head and held on to me tightly I tried to move but she wouldn't let me, Edward and Jasper were in the kitchen area and neither of them seemed at all amused by the scene.  
"JACOB!!!" I heard a high pitched scream and Resnesmee was at his side. she looked like she was about to cry. Carlisle was still attending to Jacob's shoulder, Emmett was attempting to hold back Resnesmee who was not taking it well at all.  
"It's okay Nessie, I'm fine" he said before wincing in pain as Carlisle reached in to Jacob's arm cleaning it out. Resnesmee Squirmed against Emmett, it was obvious she wasn't getting through but not for lack of trying. Alice turned me in her arms and I tried to escape again but if there was a time when I could rival Alice's strength it wasn't when I was emotionally and physically exhausted. She slid out of the house smoothly I didn't hit the doors, her grace wasn't hindered by my bulk. When I stopped trying to escape I realized how well supported I was. Alice was giving my very good back support. I finally relaxed in her grip as awkward as it looked it was quite comfortable besides the cold hands on my bare back. we ran to in to the forest and leaning in against a tree looking rather uncomfortable was Rosalie. I squirmed quickly to get out of Alice's grasp but failed.  
"Yeah I have that affect on men." Rosalie laughed as I tried to escape, I noticed she wasn't making fun of the precarious situation I was. I raised and eyebrow to her.  
"You're not a vampire you can't really defend yourself from the smallest big sister ever." Rosalie commented as if she could read my mind.  
"Yeah, that's right!" Alice said as if not offended by the comment. I turned to face Alice and tried to give her a stern look but regardless she beamed a smile back at me."You my big sister? Oh come on." I said rolling my eyes. I didn't even know where start.  
"Well I'm the youngest in our family, I'm guessing I'm only around sixty to seventy, and well everyone else is older then me, beside you're only nineteen, you're my baby brother!" she said giddily. I conceded finally then I asked the question I should have asked much sooner.  
"Why here? Why is Rosalie here too?" Rosalie laughed not at all offended by my question. Alice sat against a tree with me in her arms, it wasn't because she was tired, more of a comfort issue for me.  
"Yeah, Jasper told me what he said to you, I can't believe he told you to jump off the water tower." Rosalie rolled her eyes at Alice's husband.  
"You know he's a great philosopher but a horrible advice giver, besides he's a guy you needed a female's perspective here." I turned my body to face Rosalie.  
"You're about the last person I'd go to if I wanted advice, I'd expect you'd say stop being a pansy and deal with it." Rosalie once again smiled, maybe I was being cruel to her I knew I was judging her for worse then what she was.  
"Granted most times you're right, but not right now. We were all watching and listening, and well… I kind of admire you for having what it takes to really let her go." Rosalie said not holding the same confidence she usually held.  
"I used to think you left, ran away, let her go because you were too afraid of commitment. No I guess as odd as it seems, I think you ran away because you wanted commitment, didn't want her to be forced on it."  
"I still can't believe Jasper said that, come on is he trying to get Embry to kill himself?" Rosalie asked as if Alice needed to protect Jasper. She shrugged in response. I guess some times there was no explanation for Jasper.  
"Besides we figured you need to let it all out after everything you just went through and thought it'd be better with us then those guys, we've noticed you're more emotional then all of them." I shrugged, I tried to hide my emotions, my inner struggles, my demons, but how am I supposed to do that with people like Edward and Jasper around?  
"I really think I love her." I said fading off barely completing the sentence. Rosalie laughed sharply, it kind of stung but that was Rosalie, Alice tried to reprimand her from behind me but I noticed.  
"You think you love her? Come on Embry, everyone knows you love her, it's as plain as day. What Jasper didn't tell you that?" Rosalie eyed Alice behind me.  
"What? Jasper thought it'd be better for Embry to find out by himself!" Rosalie rolled her eyes at the answer.  
"Oh please, guys need all the help they can get, their usually clueless but I figured Embry was a step above that." I played with a stick in my hand focusing on it.  
"I didn't know… I've never had a girlfriend before… I didn't know anything." I said slightly ashamed looking at the ground.  
"It's okay Embry, Rosalie can be a bitch." Alice said obviously angry with how Rosalie was responding.  
"So I guess the guys never told you all that other stuff…" I drifted off again not paying attention to what was going on around me.  
"no… Wait what other stuff?" Alice asked me quickly. I sighed heavily and divulged my past.  
"I never had a girlfriend because I couldn't look at anyone else besides Leah. I guess it's just who I am, kind of messed up I know."  
"How cute." Alice cheered softly at me. I forced myself up and out of her arms quickly until I was standing and Alice was standing in front of me again but this time Rosalie was right behind me.  
"Stop treating him as a child Alice. I can tell that's what's pissing him off." I was surprised that Rosalie noticed. Rosalie's cold marble fingers moved on to my shoulders and not to lightly rolled the knots out of them. I didn't know if I should be relaxed or in pain but it was definitely both.  
"You know, I guess I misjudged you when you first came around, I can see why Jasper is attracted to you, if you tell anyone this I'll venomously deny it but You're a good brother… and a good friend." Rosalie said forcibly causing my muscles to relax. Alice smiled.  
"And don't worry, it'll work out for you in the end." Alice comforted as she hugged me.  
"If not we can go take care of Leah." Rosalie added.

**Wowzers that's a long chapter! Or atleast longer then I've written in a while, I know I promised some people it'd be done before the morning, but I got tired and went to bed at midnight instead of staying up writing, I hope you like it. Leave rolls of twenty dollar bills (seriously peeps, I'm a poor college student that needs money) high fives, all that jazz here… if anyone has any idea's for the story I'm VERY interested I've got plenty but I always like to incorporate other things in to it.**


	27. Don't Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I shot a man in Reno… Just to watch him die… Well Stephenie Meyer I am not.  
Disclaimer Deuce: After talking with many of my reviewers I'm very excited with where I'm going with this story, and where other stories are going**

Embry's POV

"Go home! Get stoned!

We can end up making love instead of misery" _What? Wait what? _I thought to myself rubbing my eyes.

"Go home! Get stoned!

Cause the sex it always better when you're mad at me!" I turned off the radio next to me as I was still half asleep, What day was it? I'd lost track, days blended, school or not made little difference to me. We skipped so much for sunny days it didn't matter, The Cullen's took turns doing our homework, initially Carlisle disapproved but realized we missed way too much class to learn anything, I knew most of the stuff but with what had recently happened I had no will to do anything. Though Jasper had wanted to he'd been talked down from giving me his own brew of anti-depressants. Jasper wanted to help no matter how crazy or addictive it might be. _Good old Jasper._ I thought to myself, as if on call Jasper appeared at my side, impeccably dressed, no different from any other day.

"Can I get you anything Embry?" _What the hell is this, a hotel? Don't people wait till I'm not here to bust in to your room at a hotel?_ I groaned and flung a pillow at him which he caught without looking at it.

"No, I'll cook for myself." I said. No matter how much I _do_ for the Cullen's I felt like a loafer. I worked my way to my feet and Jasper had placed my pillow back on my bed neatly, he was starting to make my bed for me. I grabbed my sheets in upheaval and threw them. I knew it was immature, but I didn't want to be taken care of by Jasper, not like this. He knew it… he was just doing this for laughs now.  
"I hope not, Esme would be so hurt if you didn't eat what she made for you." I grabbed something small and round and whipped it at Jasper who caught the baseball before I figured out what I'd thrown. I growled at my goading best friend and made my way down stairs to another amazing meal. I could never complain, the Cullen's made everything exquisitely, Every now and then I'd make food for myself, I couldn't let my taste's get too picky, every now and then I wanted to enjoy a disgustingly greasy burger. That was something I did want to enjoy today, sure the Cullen's couldn't leave, but Jacob and I would go out to Burger Time for lunch. My stomach groaned while I imagined the "Bigger Burger" from Burger Time. It was one way St. Cloud had endeared itself to me. Another way was a family owned Burger place on the other side of town called "Val's" I was told it was going to kill me eventually but I figured since I stopped aging and my body healed really fast that I could probably handle it. Sure La Push and Forks had good food, but wasn't nearly as large as St. Cloud. I loved the ten or so different Pizza places. Who could have known the subtle differences? I kicked myself out of my dreaming about food to go down stairs to eat breakfast, I couldn't eat pancakes or waffles anywhere else now, Jasper and Esme had gotten far too good, I wasn't a huge fan of them until they were for breakfast nearly every day. I couldn't eat it anywhere else now. I didn't want to lose that with any other food. I shoveled the food in my mouth very thankful for the amazing food.  
"Thank You Esme, you did an amazing job." I stood up and brought my dishes to the sink, she smiled and I gave her a quick hug as I knew she loved to get. She'd become a second mother of sorts to me, and I knew she loved me like one of her own, maybe she even considered me one of her own? Edward looked up from his conversation with Emmett and nodded in response to my thought.  
Jacob was playing with Resnesmee on the floor, Resnesmee could go out on the sun, she had given a lot to me by wanted Jacob to spend time with me.  
"Hey Nessie, Jacob, do you want to go out to lunch today, just the three of us?" I asked knowing full well that little Nessie would be up for anything. Jacob readily agreed. He, like the rest of the Cullen's were open to anything that might make me feel better. Right now that meant indulging my stupid need for greasy burgers today. I heard some noise from downstairs. I opened the door down stairs and from this angle I could see the lower half of Alice standing. I made my way down and saw she was holding a violin to her shoulder. I looked up and noticed Rosalie was on the drums, she gave me a look that was amusing something along the lines of "I probably should have asked but we gave it to you anyway." Yeah, that was exactly like Rosalie…  
"Emmett, Jasper we've got a song we want to play." I stood there a bit mystified. I felt kind of out of place, Jasper appeared at my side calming me down grabbing the acoustic guitar.  
"Don't worry You're singing Embry." Jasper said reading my emotions. He then sensed my apprehension.  
"We set up the words on a screen to run through as we play… but you should know the song." Alice smiled as she tuned her violin. Emmett's bass was already on him he was cordless so he walked up and hit play.  
"Honestly, wouldn't someone one else be a better singer for this song?" I had no clue what this song was, but I was sure Jasper or Emmett could sing better then I could. Alice plugged her Violin in and smiled. Was I suppose to recognize it by what she played? She started playing quickly and I DID recognize it right away. It was Devil went down to Georgia. I thought about it for a second and realized may I did have the best voice for this my voice was lower then Emmett's, but in all reality Emmett's would sound better. I grabbed the microphone and the microphone stand and swung it behind me and sang.  
"The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.  
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.  
When he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.  
And the devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: Boy let me tell you what:  
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.  
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.  
Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due:  
I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you.  
The boy said: My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,  
But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been." Alice broke in to a Violin solo that was exactly as I remembered it. We continued through the rest of the song. I kept my mouth closed as I gawked at her Violin skills. The song came to an end with Alice playing yet enough solo then she moved to my side as soon as she was done.  
"wow your voice was amazing Embry!" Alice cheered next to me.

"My voice? And what's that make your violin skills." I thought out loud. Alice chuckled and hugged me. Emmett moved to turn off the video recorder and only seconds later Alice was telling me how she'd been playing for thirty years. I wasn't sure if she was just building me up or if she meant it but I guess I wouldn't know. Carlisle made his way down the stairs.

"Embry please don't get too fair away today because of the circumstances." I nodded immediately understanding. _He's not going to say out loud he doesn't want me fair away encase of Werewolf difficulties. _I nodded agreeing with him. I'd never make it any harder on him, if he wanted me to stay home today I would have, I wouldn't have argued, Edward raised an eyebrow in my direction as if to say that was crazy. I knew it was. Edward disappeared momentarily then reappeared and tossed his keys across the room to me which I caught effortlessly. It was almost as if my reflexes were improving by just being around the Cullens. The idea of stealing Edward's car every time we needed to go somewhere didn't sit right, Jacob was working on his Rabbit in the shop on and off, trying to soup it up. He'd fared better then I for refusing Cullen gifts. I didn't know how, but their guilt worked on me. I shook it out of my head as Edward sat with an amused look on his face. _Oh go tell Bellapoo. _I thought sharply at Edward. He winced then smiled again at my attack against his boredom.

I left before I could get caught thinking anything else. I tossed the keys to Jacob and climbed in shot gun, Resnesmee hopped on Jacob's lap before he passed her back to the back seat, she jumped on mine and when I took a hold of her she pouted and gave me her best cute begging face. I didn't budge for a moment.  
"Sorry Ness, doesn't work on me." I told her flatly. She crossed her arms in disappointment and crossed her legs… I was now holding her up by her arms, for a mortal this would be painful. Jacob simply laughed at my side as I held her up by her arms.

"Ness, it's against the law, really you should be in a booster seat, but no way I'm making you do that." Ness seemed happy that I was letting her break some of the rules. She climbed in the back and put her seat belt on happily. We headed out and once we were a mile out I sighed and sunk in to my seat. Letting every stray emotion ever stray thought I'd been hiding from Edward and Jasper out. I sighed loudly. Visibly I went from looking okay to miserable in about four seconds. Jacob sighed noticing my dramatic change.

"So it wasn't about the Bigger burger from Burger Time?" Jacob said chuckling to himself.

"Are you kidding me? I NEED a bigger burger, no this was about the Bigger burger… Just being able to think and feel is an added bonus." I felt like a large weight fell off my shoulders… Like I could breathe again. I didn't like hiding it from the Cullen's but I didn't want them to know how bad it was. After We finished devouring a large quantity of burgers that I'd even lost track of I got out of the car. Jacob tried to lean out but Resnesmee beat him to it flying out the window and in to my arms.

Instead of talking like most people would her fingers pressed against my face showing my scenes of everyone leaving after the Volturi came, then of saying good bye to the Pack in Forks.

"Ness, I'm not going anywhere, I just want to think it's hard to think with people reading my mind at home, I'll be a phone call away and I'll be back in no time." Jacob left with Resnesmee in the car behind me. I wasn't going anywhere in particular.

For the next hours I walked with no destination, tears flowing down my face for a large portion of it. I kept telling myself I didn't want to think about it, but I knew now was the best time to think about it, when my mind could roam without getting caught. I'd been back for a couple weeks but Leah was gone, she wasn't coming back I pushed her out of my life, I loved her and I pushed her out of my life. She had her problems but we all do, why am I not there now? I asked myself. My phone rang. I heard the seductively slow song Black Magic Woman play. As promised I picked it up immediately.

"What's up Alice?" I tried to say hoping my voice didn't sound weak from the crying.

"Embry… Are you okay?" Alice asked genuinely worried about me.

"I'll make it." I said trying to say as little as possible. I heard the Cullen's arguing then Edward had the phone.

"Just come back when you're ready, if something comes up we'll call you otherwise we'll leave you alone I'm sorry we called." I wanted to say don't worry about it I'm okay, but I figured the less I said the better.

"it's okay, Bye." I said hanging up the phone quickly, really I wasn't that far away now. I'd walked back home, slowly in the same direction I came. I walked along the now frozen river, then on to it. Tears streamed my face and made it hard to see, much less talk. I hadn't spoken a word out loud since I left Jacob until I talked to Alice and Edward. I wasn't dressed for a full day of walking outside but that didn't really matter to me. I didn't get cold anymore. I walked to the edge of the river to a large tree and punched it as hard as I could, I heard a cracking noise and then the tree was falling. I stepped out of the way but kept walking, the large tree broke the ice behind me and I continued to walk in no rush at all. I remembered what I'd heard from a man once. "If you're walking on thin ice you might as well dance." I moved my feet quickly to dance but lost my motivation to do so and climbed off the ice before I went through it. I wasn't walking straight anymore, I couldn't my body wasn't balanced, I was crying to hard, I couldn't see straight I managed to climb through the barren wasteland of snow, everything looked dead, dying. Everything was silent, it felt like all life had abandoned this land, so why did it look so beautiful at the same time? Maybe it was the beauty of death. Or maybe what I wasn't looking at wasn't death at all just an intermission from life. I looked down at my hands they weren't even cold, maybe I was just as dead. I looked up to the sky as if to look for something but never find it.

"Things are changing  
It seems strange and

I need to figure this out

You've got your life, I've got mine

But you're all I care about" I sang as tears rolled down my face, my throat was rough but I kept singing.

"Yesterday we were laughing

Today I'm left here asking

Where has all the time gone now

I'm left alone somehow

Growing up and getting older

I don't want to believe it's over" I said as every line my voice grew more ragged it became harder and harder to understand what I was saying, much less sing it.

"Don't say goodbye

'Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

'Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

this time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

if you're gonna say goodbye" I sang the chorus and my voice was fading, I wasn't even sure I was pronouncing most the words any more but I needed to say it all, I needed to bumble through every lyric, get it out.

"Do you remember in December

When we swore we'd never change

Even though you're leaving, our feelings

Would always stay the same" I sang between heaves of tears. I tried to calm myself down but the lyrics themselves were getting me going.

"I wish we could be laughing

instead I'm standing here asking

Do we have to end this now

Can we make it last somehow

We both know what we've got to say, not today

'cause I don't wanna leave this way" I said finally falling down to my knees my legs not having the will to stand anymore.

"Don't say goodbye

'Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

'Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye." I bumbled not sure if I believed the next lyrics but I sang them regardless.

"And if it's over

It hurts but I'm giving you my word

I hope that you're always

Happy like we were, happy like we were." I said running my fists in to the snow trying to feel cold but it didn't affect me. I bumbled through the chorus

"Don't say goodbye

'Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

'Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye." I began to force myself up to my feet walking towards the house I knew was where I lived from the river.

"Yesterday we were laughing

Today I'm left here asking

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're going to say goodbye." I choked out. I made my way to the house trying to calm down but it was a lost effort if they couldn't read my mind of my feelings they still had good vision and intuition. Made my way back in to the house meeting the Cullen's face on. I felt relaxed immediately, Jasper, Esme and Alice were standing right in front of me. Jasper took a step to the side to calm me down.

"Embry, you have so much greatness in you could soar with the eagles." Esme gushed. I rolled my eyes making my way up stairs. I muttered at the top.

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked in to jet engines." I quickly remembered everyone in the house could hear my voice. Emmett's was the only voice I heard laughing. I made my way to my room and a pizza box was left on my bed. Since The Cullen's were very neat I assumed Jacob left it for me. I ate the pizza and laid in bed trying to find my only reprieve from my living nightmares.

**DS, Sorry for how long this took to write. There has been a lot going on in my life lately. But yeah I hope you like it… I never realized how many people looked up "Welcome Home" after I wrote it in my story, I like the song yeah I know this is a lyrical chapter and not story based but filler chapters make the world go round. Leave your comments, Concerns, Questions, High fives, and rolls of twenty dollar bills.**


	28. Please

**Disclaimer: when my time comes forget the wrong that I've done help me leave behind some reasons to let you know I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I've been told that my story shouldn't be a musical, then one of my other reviewers told me to tell that reviewer to shut the hell up because they like it, ahh good times.**

Embry's POV

"Can't you see that I'm sick of this?  
Chances are you're oblivious to how I feel  
Sitting on your throne, and I'm sure that I'm not alone,  
Not alone, not alone." I groan trying to wake up. I was just that kind of lucky, Lucky that lyrics such as these would be playing when I woke up. I shook out the sleep in my eyes and swung at the ipod trying to turn it off, failing.  
"Tell me please,  
Who the fuck did you want me to be?  
Was there something that I couldn't see?  
Never knew this would be so political.  
And please, I'm still wearing this miserable skin  
And it's starting to tear from within  
But it's obvious that doesn't bother you, so please" I finally turned the radio off and forced myself out of the bed that was too comfortable to be legal.

I managed finished waking up, cracking my back readjusting my neck stretching my arms. I finished what had become my daily routine. I was awake as I was going to be today. Really it didn't seem like I woke up anymore, I was asleep all day, it was with this fervor that I went to school, Edward told me every day of school felt like this. Not to me, it wasn't because I was going to school, it was more like I didn't know what was the point of waking up in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening. Sleeping until life stopped sucking sounded better to me. I drudged down to the kitchen to the amazing breakfast I always took for granted. I wanted to be thankful, I wanted to be gracious, I didn't deserve any of this, I never did anything worthy of meriting a family as good as this one, yes a family. Edward rolled his eyes at me as if I'd said that out loud. It was true, I'd done nothing to deserve this, nothing. This argument would go no where, if anything it'd result in me having another something I didn't need. Edward interrupted my thoughts.

"Speaking of that…" He said as if I'd told him. Everyone but Bella ignored the fact that it sounded like Edward was talking to himself.

"Shooting range or dancing lessons?" Jasper leaned against the refrigerator with an amused look. Alice stopped next to me about to beg.

"Embry! You don't want to learn how to shoot guns!" Alice said begged next to me, she grabbed my arm and started pulling on it like a four year old. Honestly I had wanted to learn how to dance some day, but becoming accurate with a gun was definitely higher on my list of things to do. _I wonder what kind of guns?_ Edward nodded to Jasper and Jasper stood up straight and answered my thought.

"We'd be using all kinds of guns, including muskets… I've got a couple of those too." _Muskets? Are you kidding me Jasper? _I thought to myself, No they weren't kidding, they probably moved all that storage by themselves.  
"I've got a dozen different hand guns, some rifles, and a sniper rifle, however if you're interested I could… Acquire another." Alice jumped in front of my eyes.

"I can teach you how to swing dance, Tango, WALZ!!!!" Alice jumped up and down in front of me. I didn't want to disappoint Alice but I was actually excited to learn about guns. Edward's eyes moved to Alice then he shook his head. I picked up my fork and flung it at Edward.

"Stop that!" realizing that was the first thing I said this morning. Edward caught my fork without flinching, I knew he would it was more the gesture then the actual attempt that mattered. Alice pouted in front of me like a little kid, she had to know how cute she was when she was like this. Not an attractive cute, just the little sister you can never say no to kind of cute. Edward laughed and nodded. Jasper had resumed his relaxed lean against the wall. Rosalie and Emmett entered the kitchen.

"Oh come on Embry, don't be such a guy, I'll teach you how to dance dirty like." I wasn't sure how I felt about that. What did Rosalie mean, 'dance dirty'? Edward plucked my thought out and answered it.

"She was going to teach you how to dance all sexy like, and stuff like that, Alice prefers Tangos and Latin dancing." Emmett's grin widened.

"Emb, I've got machine guns, including some old school Tommy Guns." Was this really a challenge between the guys and the girls of the Cullen clan? Edward laughed and nodded.

"Honestly I'd like to do both." I answered, Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Always trying to make everyone happy?" Edward actually came to my defense. He shrugged and made his way to the middle room.

"He honestly wanted to learn how to dance, but he's very interested in guns too." Edward said pleading my case I never made. Jasper disappeared momentarily then returned holding a gun in his hand. He smirked the threw it at me quicker then human eye but not quick enough that I couldn't catch it. I moved it cumbersomely in my hand. I looked down and gasped.

"It's loaded? You threw a loaded gun at me?" Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Oh please Embry, it's not like theirs a single one of us in the room that couldn't catch a bullet, besides the fact it wouldn't hurt us." I turned and saw that Jacob and Resnesmee weren't in the room, I took note of that because I don't think Bella would have either being shot at on accident or on purpose. I felt the grip of the gun in my hand, it felt oddly comfortable, something I didn't expect.

"The gun is one of the largest hand guns I have, packs a lot of kick back, but it also packs a punch, if you like it I might get a second for you." my eyes betrayed the question I didn't ask.

"If I'm teaching you how to be accurate with one, I want to teach you how to be accurate with two." _The Cullen's are nothing if not thorough. _I thought to myself. Edward smirked, that really had gotten annoying. Apparently Bella was the only one exempt from comedic tour of everyone's thoughts. Alice's eyes went blank. Everyone's attention turned to her. she pulled out of her trance like state.

"We're not going to school today."

Leah's POV

I woke up in a haze, the same way I always did these days. _Why the fuck did Embry have to make this complicated?_ It seemed pretty simple to me in a messed up way. I needed to be with him. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and cracked my neck. _Wow Leah that was feminine. Shut up. _I thought at myself. I threw on a shirt without checking what it was. I never did anymore, I stopped caring what I looked like after my last run in with Embry. What the hell was the point anymore? I'd stopped talking to David regularly but never really broke up with him officially, what did it matter anyway? I didn't do anything with my days.

I ran, I thought I pondered, really the wolves had put up with me because they thought I was going to help them kill the evil vampires, since it was in our blood, we needed it. I didn't understand what they thought I was going to give them, I told them not to fight every time they brought it to my attention. I was dressed for the day, as much as I ever was any more. I looked worse now then when I first started phasing. Why the hell would I care what I smelled like? If I didn't need to talk to David it made it easier on me, I was eating like I did before I started Phasing, which was not nearly enough to feed a wolf. I was thin, too thin to be healthy. I still phased regularly, I needed it. It was my small addiction, at least when I was a wolf I felt like I had control of my life.

I came down the stairs. All the wolves were in the living room, all twelve of them. Most of their jaws dropped looking at me, I'd changed and I hadn't seen most of them since I came back. Harley coughed and the wolves attention returned to the discussion.

"What if the other wolves interfere?" Chad asked. Chad was one of the twins, really, I hadn't seen anything like what his brother Ethan could do. It wasn't like their minds were linked, it was like they were one mind. They moved together, better then any other two people I'd ever seen. I'd seen them hunt together, it was beyond graceful, it was scary. Dave snorted in response to Chad's question obviously he wasn't a unbiased voice.

"If they get in the way of killing the Vampires, they might as well be vampires, We'll kill them too." That comment woke me up immediately. My eyes turned to Harley immediately. Apparently that question had been bugging him for a while.

"we'll try to avoid killing them, but it might be inevitable." Harley said shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Oh really? If they get in the way huh? So if there is a ten year old girl that gets in the way because she doesn't want you killing her mommy and daddy you're going to kill her too?" Harley bumbled on words and I couldn't take this anymore.

"You guys don't know anything about these Vampires! How can you possibly want to kill them without knowing anything about them?" I asked wondering what was wrong with them

"You have anything else to tell us about them?" Harley said crossing his arms across his chest trying to take control of the meeting.

"Oh maybe that the father figure is a Doctor and he's never drank human blood. He's been saving people's lives for I think well over one hundred years." I said trying to make my point clear, these people weren't a danger.

"What about the one at the airport?" I flinched immediately. Something they all caught. _Anyone but Jasper! I can explain everyone else. _I tried to calm myself down. I needed to be calm.

"He's working on it." I said quietly. Dave jumped on that quickly without hesitation.

"What is he working on?" Dave said giddily. _This is not the one you want to pick a fight with Dave._

"They don't suck blood, he just has more of a problem with it." I said as if it was something to be ashamed of. I didn't understand, wasn't what they were striving towards admirable? Living without drinking blood? Their most fundamental basic instinct? _Wow when did you become the Vampire's advocate? _The Cullen's had changed me, more then that Embry changed me.

"We attack next week, unless Leah you have some more news for us?" I shook my head furiously. _They are still attacking? That's crazy!_

"If nothing else that one at the airport is a danger to Minnesota and must be killed, who knows how many more of them are like him?" I shook my head, this was wrong why was I still here? That was a good question. I turned to the door and walked out as causally as I could.

"Where are you going Leah?" Harley called out at me. I ignored him and continued to walk. He walked after me.

"Leah what's wrong?" I turned at him and realized I wasn't emotionally stable, I needed to keep this short, I needed to keep from breaking out in to tears.

"Nothing, you just said you'll try to avoid killing my ex, my Alpha, an innocent girl, and an amazing Doctor whose saved my Alpha's life." I couldn't take it anymore. I ran in to the woods and he didn't follow. I knew what I had to do. I stripped down and phased, I needed to warn the Cullen's I needed to get them safe. I ran as fast as I could but I'd gotten weaker from my lack of food. My body wasn't running anywhere as fast as I used to. _Jacob might be able to keep up with you now, that's sick!_ I thought to myself laughing. I was tired, much more tired then I should have been running this distance. My body was aching in pain, I'd let myself get too weak. I knew if I got out of the forest I would be able to see the Cullen's house. I phased and my body was growing weak, I barely managed to put my clothes on before exhaustion hit me. I tried to walk out to the clearing but my body was too tired too week. I fell forward, I expected to land on my face but didn't, instead I was caught by strong warm arms. I didn't look up, I all I remember was the warmth his arms, but something wasn't right…

**Let's see here, Well I'm going to start writing the next chapter right away, I know that's kind of a cliff hanger but I can easily do worse then that, if tons of you review who knows I might even update before the weekend! Give me all your rolls of twenty dollar bills! gots to pay the bills some how! Comments, questions, ideas in the review column, please review makes me write faster, better, stronger… no wait…**


	29. Wake up and smell the Spaghetti

Disclaimer: TDFireProof? Stephenie Meyer he ain't.

Disclaimer Deuce: I have a bit too much creativity it's oozing out every pour of my body, I'm working on a new project (again I know) it's about Felix and two of his pupils PLEASE read my page and give me your opinions.

Embry's POV

Alice told us the future became blurry for today. Jasper took the chance lead me to a make shift shooting range in the back yard. I originally thought it was going to be makeshift, but it was set up amazingly, just like everything the Cullen's did, it wasn't half way at all. They took an old barn that was on the property and sound proofed it and set up a shooting range for short ranged weapons inside of it. I took a step inside and marveled at what they could get done when I was sleeping. I lined up aiming the gun and Jasper smiled as he stood in my way.

"Hot shot, until you learn how to shoot accurately you're going to use good stance when you shoot." Jasper smirked at me correcting how I held myself. I aimed carefully and hit the target near the middle.

"Hey, I'm doing pretty good, so now can I shoot how I want to?" Jasper rolled his eyes pulled out a smaller gun from the rack near us and causally aimed it and snapped off three shots. The second two followed in the hole his first, bullseye. I rolled my eyes at him and took aim again. I felt Jasper calming my body down, but not so much that I was tired, just enough that I felt relaxed. I shot five shots, they were all within decent range but none of them perfectly on target. I turned to joke with Jasper but something in his eyes changed, he wasn't paying attention.

"What is it Jasper?" I said pulling him out of his trancelike state.

"It's nothing just keep working on your shooting." Jasper disappeared out of the door and I rolled my eyes and refocused on the targets.

Jacob's POV

After seeing the affects of Embry's morning jogs I'd decided I should take them when I didn't have anything else to do, it was nice to catch some time by myself also. I never pushed myself like Embry did. I wasn't running for the pain, no one ever said anything about that to Embry, but even I could feel he enjoyed the pain of running. That's why he pushed himself farther then was healthy for a normal human, luckily none of us were that anymore. I knew Edward could see it, and to Jasper it must have felt a train hitting him every time Embry walked in the door after a run. I was so stuck in thought I almost missed the sound of some one phasing back from their wolf form. _Who the hell?_ I thought to myself running faster through the trees. I saw the form of Leah stumbling over herself and she started falling forward, I jumped out and caught her putting my arms around her.

"Leah? What happened to you?" I asked then realized she was out. I scooped her up in my arms and led her back to the house.

Leah's POV

_Wait a second? Where am I?_ I didn't open my eyes, I wanted to remember where I was first. My fingers moved slowly, not gaining attention if some one was watching me. I heard a drumming sound, it was kind of above me. the smell was of vampire. _Where was I? Cullen's remember?_ I thought to myself, I slowly opened my eyes, and sitting against the wall and with legs over my body so I couldn't leave sat Embry. He wore a stupid shit eating grin on his face, as he drummed. I tried to move his legs but they didn't budge. His smirk grew, I stopped to notice his drumming. _Holy shit I didn't know Embry could drum? When the hell did this happen?_ I heard drum rhythms that sounded very complicated. I struggled and pushed Embry off me, he tossed the sticks and practice pad and turned and pinned my shoulders to the bed.

"You're not going anywhere or doing anything until you've eaten, and I mean a lot of food." My eyes met his, and the fire in his eyes was real, it was rough, strong, dependable, and yet passionate, caring, and accepting. Deep behind those emotions, I could still see how he felt about me, he hid it with his smirk and mannerisms, but it was still there. the door opened and Esme glided down the stairs and placed a large plate of spaghetti at my side. Embry's hands softly removed themselves from my shoulders and he picked up his drumsticks then headed over to the drum set at the end of the room. I finally took in the surroundings, it looked like a music studio, with a bed in the middle. _Why was this bed here? You dumb ass they put it up for you."_ Embry grabbed a remote and the TV started playing, I heard a primal scream then Embry started drumming, _Holy shit this guy can play. _I thought as I started to eat spaghetti.

"You know I make you want to scream

You know I make you want to run,

But know it's too late you've wasted all your time." I heard in as I continued to eat spaghetti. The food was amazing. How did vampires make food so amazing if they knew nothing about what it tastes like? I was stuffed, I hadn't eaten that much since thanksgiving and next week was already Christmas. I wasn't sure If there was a deeper meaning to the songs lyrics, but Embry switched songs to a punk rock song, he wasn't as apt at it, but it's lyrics definitely was about us.

"Today didn't have to be this way

Tomorrow is another day

Another Chance to make things right

A chance to make sense of last night

Today didn't have to be this way

Tomorrow is another day

Another chance to make things right

A chance to fully live your life" I stopped what I was doing and listened, he still wore a smile, but it wasn't the cocky one he wore before, it was something else. Something I didn't completely understand. I couldn't do this yet, I just needed to get my head clear. _Why did I even come? To warn them! remember?_ I almost slapped myself in the face and headed up the stairs. I was rushed, I ran upstairs and Esme and Carlisle were sitting patiently, not doing anything in particular. They both turned acknowledging my presence as if they didn't hear me run up the stairs.

"Oh, hello there Leah, are you feeling okay?" I ignored Carlisle's question.

"I need to tell you about something very important." I said hastily moving from side to side. I felt my body and nerves loosening, not by my will but by an unnatural force, Jasper had made his way down the stairs and was standing there, his face was neutral, unfazed by my presence, as if he didn't have anything to do with my unnatural calm. I wished I could read him like he must read me. It was so frustrating. Alice appeared at the bottom of the stairs holding a shirt and pair of pants. She tossed it at me. I expected it to smell bad, it didn't, _In fact…_I thought smelling it again. _This smells like Embry!_ I thought and shot her a confused look.

"I gave it to him to 'de-vampirize' the smell." She said making quoting signals with her hands. I then realized how bad I must smell, even to them and my face turned red, once again Jasper calmed me down. Embry came up the stairs with drumsticks in his hand, the way he walked, the way he held himself, he was perfectly comfortable around the Cullens, there wasn't hesitation, there wasn't fear, just family. I shook my head at him.

"There's a shower up stairs at the end of the hallway." Embry causally said passing by me and walking up the stairs. _Was I supposed to follow him?_ I asked myself, I followed behind him and he continued walking at his regular pace as if he didn't know I was behind him. he was walking down the hallway, but instead of going in to the bathroom he took the last left and went in to the room I remembered was his. I stopped at his door. He tossed himself on to his bed and looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"They were all to kind to tell you this, but I'm not going to be, you smell like shit, go take a shower." Inwardly I laughed, some things about him had definitely changed, but it was definitely Embry underneath it all. I left his doorway and turned to the bathroom to take a long overdue shower.

Embry's POV

"A heart that's made of gold can't really beat all." I shook my head out waking up. I reached in to my pocket and turned off the ipod. I forced myself awake quickly, I must have dozed off laying on my bed. I looked around, Leah was sitting quietly in the corner. _Waiting for me to wake up? That's a definite change, she used to try and seduce me right off the bat._ I sat up quickly and blood rushed to my head. I grabbed my forehead trying to get my head in shape. Leah stood up quickly and I put an arm out to stop her.

"Just give me a second." I said letting blood flow out of my head. I stood up slowly.

"I need to tell all the Cullens." I nodded and stepped out of my room and made my way to the kitchen and she followed closely behind me, but not too closely, it was odd, I guess she still feared me. by the time we were in the kitchen every one else was as well. Leah let her breathe out slowly then looked at the room full of Vampires.

"They are coming to attack, I don't know what they thinking, but they thought…" Leah said drifting off. I wanted to know what she meant. I turned my eyes to Edward, his face betrayed any real expression.

"Please continue" Carlisle politely asked.

"They thought Jasper was a… a… Threat" I finally finished. Jasper's facial features didn't lighten or tighten. I scanned the room, no one's facial expression had changed but Embry and Jacobs.

"We foresaw this happening." Jasper answered calmly. His body hadn't moved, none of the Vampires had.

"We've had contingencies in place for this." Jasper continued calmly. Fear coursed through my body.

"No, we have no intentions to kill any of them however, if you've got any information that could help us fight affectively against them so we don't need to hurt them, it'd be useful" Jasper's eyes turned to Embry and they looked each other in the eye for a moment then his eyes returned to mine.

"Actually, give us some time to discuss some things." Jasper said, leaving the room, the rest of the Vampires disappeared as well. Leah gave me a look saying she didn't buy that and I laughed.

"Come on let's walk we've got a lot to talk about." I told Leah trying to speak causally. I led her outside and we talked. I tried not to open up but every time she started talking about memories I started smiling again. I stopped her and asked her why she had come.

"I'm sorry? I came to save your life." I rolled my eyes. So that's how it was going to be.

"So I guess nothing has changed then huh?" I said turned to walk away. My arm was caught by her.

"No Embry… Just… I'm sorry how everything turned out. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry I should have never done any of that, I love you." Leah said and leaned in and kissed me with the same passion she had at thanksgiving, I returned it without thinking about it then stopped myself, my arms were around her.

"What's wrong Embry?" Leah said smiling.

"I… I… I just need to take this slow. I was kind of very hurt at thanksgiving taking it too fast." Leah looked away quickly as if I'd scorned her. She turned her face back to me. I grabbed her in a hug from the side, much more like a friends hug, but still had underlying meaning.

"Come on we need your info on these Werewolves." I said leading her back to the house.

**OKAY So first and foremost I want all my readers to go to my page and read the short summary for my new story I REALLY want your opinions, if you give me ideas they might make it in to the story because I haven't started writing it yet, I will give proper props to those who do help me out with ideas, please at least give me if you like it or not.**

**Thanks for reading my Chapter, I'm sorry it took so dang long to update but the computer was dismantled and we painted the room then shampooed the carpet (heh… Shampooed that's a funny word) Anyway, Please leave all your comments, Ideas questions, high fives, thumbs up, knucks, and reviews here.**


	30. So What do vampires do for fun?

**Disclaimer: Anyone know a good lyrical way to say I'm not Stephenie Meyer (no I don't need one I'm just running low on ideas)**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Never forget… there's life after death… and taxes.**

Embry's POV

I often wonder how I can do so many things. How I've learned to drum in a couple months, how I'm already shooting bulls eyes, how I can learn so fast. Then I remember. I have no life. Don't get me wrong, I love every second of my lifeless life. People don't get the amount of time I have. I only go to school half the time, half the time I just stay here doing something I enjoy, right now, shooting holes in to a cardboard cut out. Usually I use this time in the morning to drum, but as is I don't because Leah is sleeping there. Besides the fact I miss school so much and I don't have homework, I don't play any sports, no after school activities, I don't cook, I don't clean. I don't work. It seems extremely lazy of me but every time bring that fact in to the light my family rolls their eyes at me and makes remarks about being a martyr.

If all of that wasn't enough time I don't sleep like I used to. I sleep less, waking up for patrols every night and forcing myself to survive on less sleep has made less sleep necessary. It didn't bother the Cullen's at all that I slept four and a half hours a night, they couldn't care less, they were always awake, Jacob had managed to get back to a eight hour sleep schedule because he was perfectly happy with Resnesmee. He doesn't have to deal with the same chaotic circumstances I do.I wasn't angry at Jacob, I was happy for him. He deserved it after what Bella did to him, silently I never approved of it, beside the fact that Bella got everything handed to her, she also broke my best friend's heart, and toyed with him until her lover came back. _Edward really isn't that bad though. _

"Thanks" I turn and Edward appears next to me. He must have been outside during the whole thing. I'd scowl at him for eavesdropping if I didn't already knew it was beyond his control. I made a grunting noise and returned my focus back to the cut out whose face had been shot up horribly.

"I'm surprised I never put it together before, it seems so natural, so simple? Why didn't I think of it?" I rolled my eye and shot three more bullets in to a hole I'd made in his head.

"Maybe because you're an annoying prick that thinks too much?" I asked not looking away from my target. Edward didn't even seem offended by my words, probably because he heard much worse from people in their minds. I could see Edward nod out of the corner of my eye. Edward moved quickly to the front of the target standing in such a way that my bullet would land between his eyes. I lower my hands and sigh.

"What do you want Edward?" he smirked and crossed his arms.

"To help you shoot better, You think that anything you need to shoot would just stand still and let you shoot it?" I rolled my eyes and spun the loaded gun in my hand.

"I don't expect to need to use a gun." I said speaking the obvious answer. Edward shrugged.

"Oh come on, I'm bored." I raised my eyebrow in question, bored enough to get shot at? What eavesdropping on Emmett and Rosalie's sex got boring to him? He laughed in response to my thoughts.

"Bella went out hunting, she still hunts a bit more often then us, she doesn't trust herself around people so she hunts more often then ever Jasper." _Jasper_. I thought to myself, He'd changed, he was still the same person, but it didn't look like he was as ashamed of himself, like he was happier now. Edward didn't confirm or deny my thought but we both knew I was right, Jasper was happier now, and if Jasper was in a better mood, that meant that Alice was in a better mood, which seemed only plausible in theory, not in practice. I still didn't understand what Edward was trying to accomplish.

"Come on you know you want to shoot me, think of it as an early Christmas gift." _Christmas? Oh shit!_ I realized I'd forgotten about it completely and it was only two days away. The color from my face drained. I had no clue what to get ANY of the Cullens. Much less all of them. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Oh please you don't need to-"

"Shut up" I said beginning to pace. Edward laughed at me but I kept pacing.

"You know this is completely absurd right? We don't want anything, don't even worry-" I turned quickly aiming my gun at him and opened fire then I lifted the second gun and pointed it at him, I heard a loud laughing noise and Emmett appeared at my side. I looked down and realized I'd just shot at Edward and not only that but I picked up a second gun to continue, I knew it wouldn't hurt him but once again, it was the intent that counted. Emmett saw the way I looked down at my hands and he patted me on the back.

"Hey man don't worry it's not a big deal, honestly I've wanted to shoot him for years." Emmett said comforting me, ME the guy who just shot at some one. Emmett's eye turned up to Edward.

"Moving target?" Edward nodded and started moving. I stood dumbfounded. Emmett coughed at my side bringing my back to reality.

"Are you going to shoot him or not? You'll never be able to knee cap a guy if you can't hit them running." Edward was running at a normal human pace and I closed one eye and shot at his knee cap and quickly he caught the bullet, I noticed that one, but from the way he was smirking he must have caught every bullet I shot so far. My shots were good.

"Left hand." Edward called out to my and I tossed the gun to my left, I struggled but pegged him on the shoulder and head, missing his leg, or I would have if he didn't catch every bullet. I looked at my watch, it was seven. I'd already been doing this for three hours.

"Maybe Leah's up so I can practice drums." Emmett shook his head.

"Well Leah's been up for an hour, but her and Rosalie are using her room to teach her how to seduce you." I groaned aiming my gun at Edward and shooting at him one last time out of frustration, Jasper appeared at my side and laughed.

"I'm glad you've found a constructive stress reliever." I laughed as Jasper considered it was constructive. I put both guns down and looked around.

"Let me guess? The girls all went out together?" Carlisle appeared at the entrance to the barn.

"All of them." He said. _Esme too? _Edward nodded.

"Something about female bonding." I rolled my eyes.

"That means only one thing…" I said drifting off.

"Shopping." Edward, Emmett, and Jasper answered in unison. Carlisle chuckled. I heard a heavy jog and behind Carlisle stood Jacob.

"Yeah they took Nessie with them." I turned and looked across the crew of vampires, we stood around awkwardly.

"So… What do we do now?" Carlisle laughed. And the other vampires stayed silent.

"We do some male bonding?" Carlisle suggested. I shrugged.

"Well anything we'd do that is "masculine" is either food related, or too easy for you guys." I said somewhere between a groan and a complaint. Jasper crossed his arms.

"Like what?" Edward started laughing as I went through a mental list.

"Well first off, we can't go out drinking because you guys don't drink." Jacob laughed and Carlisle smiled.

"Blood doesn't count?" Carlisle asked. I expected him to reprimand me. I am, after all only nineteen. Edward shook his head in response to my thought.

"We can't go out to eat or something cause you don't eat." Jasper shrugged indifferently.

"We can't go mountain climbing because it's not even challenging anymore especially to you guys." I said looking over at the vampires.

"We can't play paintball because you are too fast and can dodge them." I continued down the list, Emmett laughed at my last comment. Carlisle shrugged.

"How about skiing?" he offered. I looked for any faults in the idea, I couldn't find any, maybe I'd be fun.

"I've never skied before, but it sounds fun." I responded actually kind of getting excited.

"But I don't have any gear for that." I responded before thinking. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"We'll buy you a pair of skies. And you can just wear a sweat shirt and pants." I groaned.

"Well we'll just rent a pair of skies for you and Jacob this time, so we can get going now." I felt immediately relieved, they'd probably buy skies for me that were more expensive then my mom's car. Jacob coughed.

"If it's all the same to you, can I try snow boarding out?" Carlisle nodded.

"Of course, Emmett will show you, he's a snow boarder himself." Emmett grinned before he Jasper and Edward disappeared. "We'll need to take two cars to fit all of us, let's take the jeep and the Volvo." Carlisle continued speaking, he led us outside and through the snow to the garage. By the time we got there all of our supplies were loaded. I jumped in the passenger side of the Jeep. Emmett was sitting then turned to me smiled and turned the Jeep to life with a loud rev of the engine. We pulled out but didn't go down the driveway, instead Emmett drove off the road through the front yard spinning out then fishtailing across the front yard as he went. I laughed holding on to the cage of the vehicle for my life. After spinning out again we cut through the yard to the road. We caught up to the Volvo on the freeway and Emmett grunted.

"Well Carlisle's obviously driving." I laughed quietly. Then looked at him hoping he'd explain. He read the expression off my face as he closed the distance between the other car and the Jeep.

"Well it's quite simple really, Carlisle is the only one with the patience to drive under a hundred miles an hour." I looked down at the speedometer, we were still going eighty, ten over the speed limit. Emmett removed his hands from the steering wheel and rubbed both his temples on his head as if this crawling speed was getting to him. I definitely notice we were tailing them at less then one car length in slightly less then perfect driving conditions going eighty and his hands weren't on the wheel. I instinctively grabbed the wheel. Emmett laughed at me but grabbed the wheel anyway.

"Oh please I can do much worse then this." Emmett said as he closed the distance between the two cars, I could have sworn we were touching. Carlisle took the turn off and sped up, this road was covered in snow, and no one was on it, Carlisle hit the breaks then spun and regained control going eighty backwards this time, it was hard to make out his facial features, but I could definitely see a cocky grin on Carlisle that was much more like Emmett then Carlisle. Emmett reached his hand out and gave them the finger. The passenger door opened on the Volvo and a foot hit the ground and they spun back to their normal driving position. It was only a fifty here but if their were any other cars or cops we'd slow down. We slowed down driving through a couple small towns. After a short drive through the country we could see the hill covered with snow, just the top of it at first.

"That's Powder Ridge." Emmett said pointing out the window.

"Oh, You've been there?" I asked curiously I didn't think he had yet.

"No, but I can tell what a hill with snow on it looks like." He said smirking, I back handed him and he didn't even catch it, apparently he was laughing too hard. As we approached the hill it became more obvious with ski lifts that it was indeed a ski hill but I'd never been to one, I came from a poor upbringing why would I have been skiing? As we turned in to driveway I realized the place was relatively empty.

"Where is everyone? I asked I knew skiing was a popular pass time." Emmett laughed turning off the jeep and jumping out.

"The place opened five minutes ago, we've basically got the hill to ourselves for another two hours. Emmett walked to the back of the Jeep and started pulling out our gear.

"Let's go party."

Six hours later I'd learned some very valuable lessons, first is never trust Emmett. It's not that he's untrustworthy, he'll just play a trick on you or something of the like. I trust him with my life, just not with my ski poles. Secondly, Carlisle is a better teacher then Jasper, Jasper who, decided it might be best to show me how to ski by going down backwards to instruct me as he went only frustrated me further. Carlisle on the other hand skied next to me showing me how to stop and turn, by the end of the day I was turning with my ski's together, the quick turn compared to the 'pizza' turn or 'snow plow' turn. I also learned another thing while Jasper was trying to teach me, as much fun as chucking my ski poles at him is he'll just catch them with his ski poles and toss them back at me, without even flinching, much less losing balance going down the hill backwards. Jacob learned how to snowboard pretty quickly, maybe I'd try it out next time. All the Cullen's were as I assumed exceptional skiers. Carlisle had surprised me though, he wasn't so fatherly. It was like he was the older brother, not the father. Although I didn't know his real age it wasn't what he acted like, he acted very mature for how he looked. His youth slipped through when he was skiing, instead of reprimanding Emmett he just pegged him with a snowball. Edward seemed to enjoy himself but was something of a loner for the day.

Edward's disposition changed the moment we got home and he saw Bella. I rolled my eyes and they launched themselves at each other like they hadn't seen each other in years. I nodded to Leah as I saw her across the room, the rest of the couples came together but not nearly as passionately sickening as Edward and Bella. I had nothing against Edward and Bella being in Love. It just was some times too much to watch. I laughed to myself, I could be the same way too with Leah, I used to anyway. I looked around and saw Leah sitting on the couch. Tired, apparently from the day with the girls. I made my way down stairs to the drum set shutting the door behind me, bags were laying in front of Leah's bed and I rolled my eyes. _Shopping_. I made my way to the drum set and started drumming soon after the door opened. I didn't look up I didn't really mind who it was until ten seconds later I realized nothing had happened. I looked up and saw Leah with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised at me. immediately I countered with an eyebrow of my own, knowing how silly this looked.

"What are you doing in my room?" I laughed and put down my drum sticks and stepped out from behind the drum set.

"Drumming, but I was unaware that you have _Claimed_ this room. If it's yours I will leave." I said then I walked by her. Her arm caught mine and turned me and pulled on my shirt till I was low enough to kiss her, and she kissed me with a passion that screamed her desires. She jumped in to my arms and attacked me with a kiss then let herself down, running her body down my stomach as she went. _This isn't like her. This is more like something Rosalie would do._ I stopped for a moment and thought. _You've got to be fucking kidding me._ Leah pulled on my arm pulling me closer to the bed. I followed with my mind still processing the events that probably took place today. I softly let her down on the bed and smiled and shook my head.

"Sorry, but I don't think so, not yet anyway." Leah didn't look hurt she just looked sad and nodded her head at me. I thanked her and turned away making my way back upstairs. _You are a stupid dumb ass. She's not going to wait forever. Take her before you can't._

**Hey Sup, thanks for everyone reviewing I've over 200 now, I'm glad to say it. I'm getting going on writing but I think we've got a "Cullen Family Christmas" before crazed werewolves from Minnesota. I wrote this chapter to include Carlisle because he's kind of left out in most stories, mine included and I feel bad, I mean come on, give the man a break he's in his 20s and he's a doctor!? When does he get to go out and get wasted like his 'kids' I mean really now.**

**If you haven't read my Idea for my next story Read it now and PM me your feelings on it, ideas, or concerns (I've only gotten like two or three PMs) If you don't…? I'll threaten to…? Start writing Star Wars Fanfic? LOL Yeah good times, but really I'd like to hear opinions.**

**And as always Any ideas, questions about my story, High fives, rolls of twenty dollar bills, are ALWAYS welcome. (I really meant those rolls of twenty dollar bills) But yeah I love to hear feedback on my story, thanks.**


	31. Christmas Eve

**Disclaimer: "Well you know what they say - people in glass houses s-s-s-sink ships." "A penny in the tree is worth two in the bush, isn't it?" "And don't cross the road, if you can't get out of the kitchen." "I gotta get you a proverb book or something, man, this mix-and-match shit's got to go." … Sorry I don't know how to hook that in to saying I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Well I took a long time to update because finals were kicking my ass, still are in fact…**

Leah's POV

I rubbed my eyes waking up slowly, morning was a horrible thing. I hated waking up, but today was the day before Christmas. As was my morning routine I woke up and cracked by back and neck, then rolled my shoulders back as they cracked as well. _Very feminine Leah. Shut up. _I thought at myself angrily. I tossed a tank top on and then a sweatshirt over it, even though it was December I was always warm enough, one of the perks of being a werewolf I guess. I drudged upstairs after putting pants and socks on dragging my feet as I always did in the morning, I didn't like mornings. I made my way upstairs in to the kitchen, Embry was already wide awake and done with his breakfast. _How the hell does he do that? I know he stayed up three more hours then I did and he's wide awake._ I thought to myself as I was annoyed. Edward laughed next to me.

"Yeah Embry's been up for over an hour already." _Why the hell doesn't he need sleep? Why the hell doesn't he sleep anymore? Why the hell does this piss you off?_ Admittedly I was jealous that he seemed to run on diesel instead of food, I'd think he took diesel if I didn't watch him devour food. I sat across the table from Embry and as if magically, a plate of eggs appeared in front of me. I shook off the fact that it was unnerving how fast the Cullens could move and focused on the food in front of me. Esme walked slowly carefully towards me like some one trying not to scare a kitten. _She does realize that she's not the one I'm afraid of right?_

"Leah, your mom sent a letter for you." I understood immediately, I'd told her to forward any messages to me. That meant it was a letter from Patrick. Patrick was an old friend I just started mailing back and forth. In his messages I could tell something was up, something he wasn't telling me, every time I asked about him the last couple years he had either dodged or ignored the question all together. He only gave me his mailing address after the first five messages, but only at first to make sure I was getting them, now I was responding. I smiled in response as Esme handed me the letter still in the envelope. I grabbed a pen and some paper and made my way out the front door. "Hey, I'm just going to go read this and take some time to myself. Jasper coughed loudly, and I raised my eyebrow to him._ What is his deal?_ Alice appeared and tossed a sweatshirt at me.

"All that white stuff, yeah that's snow, at least LOOK like you're prepared for the cold." I laughed tossing the hooded sweatshirt on. The smell of vampires didn't even bother me anymore. I started out towards the snow, then realized I wasn't in my shoes and threw them on before heading down to the river in the back of the "Cullen Ranch" as Embry once called it. I made my way down to the river then climbed a tree and sat on it so I would stay dry and out of the snow, in hindsight I could have probably just sat in a car in the garage but I didn't want Edward over hearing this, honestly I didn't want Edward overhearing anything I ever thought, but this was part of my personal life, this was just me, it was where I was who I was, someone who didn't see me as the bitch I'd become, I didn't want to lose that, didn't want anyone to tarnish it. I slowly opened the envelope and saw the familiar hand writing of Patrick. I stopped and notice how perfect it was, really I'd never stopped to notice, until this point I thought it was from a computer but I knew it wasn't this time because of the paper, this was hand written, how did he write that nicely? I opened and read.

_Dear Leah,_

_Hey, It's Patrick again. How have you been? I'm glad to know hear you broke up with that David guy, he wasn't good enough for you. I could just tell.__Listen I guess what I've been trying to say is you're a really good person, and I just miss the time we spent together, I'd like to meet up with you. I was kind of wondering if you were interested in going out with me.__  
__Patrick_  
_Note X_

I reread the words carefully, making sure I'd read them right. I hadn't told Embry or any of the Cullens about Patrick, really it wasn't any of their business. But now it was. I groaned with my pen and paper in hand. _Why does Patrick need to complicate it? Well it's obvious, because if it was simple it wouldn't be your life._ I laughed, Yeah that sounded about right. I sighed heavily playing with the pen in my fingers. I looked down and started writing, might as well get this over with.

_Hey Patrick, sorry but not right now, I'm trying to patch things up with my ex-boyfriend. I hope you understand. I'd like to see you again someday things are pretty crazy around here though. Yeah Dave was an asshole, he used me I should have known that from the beginning I just needed to get over… well never mind. So you never told me, how did that big internship in Seattle work out? What are you doing now? You never seem to answer my questions, just kind of ask your own questions, I don't really mind but it feels like I don't know you, like you're hiding something from me. Well as always it's nice talking to you, I'm sorry but I'm trying to fix things, I hope you understand.  
Leah_

I sighed heavily and folded the note in my pocket. I suppose if I wanted to go out with Embry I should tell him about this, besides hiding it from the Cullen's would be very difficult. I stuffed both in my pockets I rolled my shoulders back and forced myself to relax, or at least look relaxed. I forced my mind to focus on something else, anything to keep Edward out of my head, but that thought kept him interested and he appeared at the door before I could get to Embry.  
"What are you hiding Leah?" Edward asked skeptically. I rolled my eyes at Edward and Rosalie appeared at the doorway.  
"Honestly she can hide anything she wants to from you." Edward crossed his arms and Embry came up behind him.  
"Hey Leah, what's up?" _How can he act so causal with everything we've been through, is that even plausible to be that untouchable? Nah he's just learned from the Cullen's he's practically one by now."  
_"He is one." Edward said responding to my thoughts. Rosalie left frustrated, she didn't like being on the outside of arguments. But Edward's message was very clear, Embry was one of the Cullen's now, and that meant they'd protect him, and apparently in Edward's view, from me as well. Edward simply nodded at my thoughts as Embry climbed down the front porch and to my side.  
"What's up Lee?" He looked like the picture of relaxed, but then he faltered for a millisecond and I could see it, he was afraid, he was afraid every time I had news, every time I needed to talk, he was as messed up as I was inside, and as sick as it sounds, it made it easier.  
"Well an old friend asked me out, but I don't want to hide it from you so I told you, I told him no because I am trying to patch things up with you." I said smiling. Something about Embry's face changed quickly, he was comforted, then worried, then content, I noticed it, _why wasn't he okay? Why wasn't he so happy with me? Was it something I said? Did I say something wrong?_  
"That's great Lee, hey I'm going to go down to the Quarry for a run." It sounded odd to me, since he usually just ran here, besides the quarry was covered in snow, something was up but I didn't want to push it. Turned back to the house but Edward was at the door.  
"Here take my car, your car kind of stands out." He flung the key's to Embry and he caught them before he had even asked, I guess that was a plus side of having a mind reader here.

Embry's POV

I climbed in to Edward's car and sighed heavily, it wasn't going for a run. I never really cared where I'd go, fast or slow, to anywhere at all. _Stop thinking lyrically. _I chuckled at myself turning on Edwards Volvo. I had no real reason for leaving but to think, As much as I enjoyed thinking by myself sometimes it was nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of, luckily Emmett happened to be outside, I stopped the car near the "shooting shed" as he came out.  
"Hey Emmett, can you come with me, I need someone to talk to." Emmett nodded and climbed in the car. He laughed and buckled his seatbelt, as was one of the requirements for riding in a car with me.  
"I'd say you're like my mother or something but Esme really couldn't care less if we used a seatbelt or not." I laughed in response to Emmett.  
"So… Where are we going?" Emmett asked, honestly I hadn't decided yet, silly I know but I just needed to go.  
"That's a good question." Emmett shrugged next to me. I drummed on the steering wheel drawing a blank on ideas.  
"There's a strip club on the other side of town." Emmett offered with a slight grin on his face, it was trying to sound serious but I knew he was trying not to laugh.  
"I heard that Val's place has the best burger in town." I shrugged, it really wasn't something I could do with Emmett but maybe we could sit and talk instead. He shrugged.  
"Sounds fine to me, as long as I don't need to eat any of it." I smiled as we pulled on to the main drag across town to get to Val's. Even though Jasper was here for me to the point of abnormality Emmett was here for me too. They'd never let me down, they truly were my family.  
"So, Little bro, what's the low down?" Emmett said stretching, as if his muscles ever got sore. Really it was just a mechanism to make me more comfortable. _Is that forced? Or has it just become that much of a habit that he does it without thinking about it?_ I wasn't sure which it was. I picked up my Cell phone and dialed in Val's phone number and order a meal, big enough for at least three. I returned to the car and Emmett opened the door for me so I could get in with my hands full. I opened a bag and started eating.

"You sure you don't want any Emmett? I feel so guilty eating in front of you." Emmett laughed and stretched out.

"Embry, you smell more appealing then that, and that's saying something." He grinned looking back at me. I laughed only because I knew I smelt like wet dog, all the time to him. After I'd finished eating Emmett sighed and opened the windows slightly, not enough for people to notice, but enough for some new air to get in. I knew he'd become accustom to my smell, that just didn't mean he naturally preferred fresh air.

"So what's this all about anyway?" Emmett asked slightly causal. Emmett unlike Jasper and Edward was less likely to blow things out of proportion.

"Leah was asked out by an old friend and she told him no because she was trying to patch things up with me." I said getting my problems off my chest.

"That's it? You do realize how hard that must have been to tell you? Maybe she's serious about fixing it." I stopped for a moment making sure I did understand.

"Now I'm not trying to go all sappy on you, but she might just be trying to be nice to this guy." I hadn't thought about that but it started to make sense. Was she really just trying to be nice to this guy?

"Now I know women are mostly trouble and make more drama then their usually worth… but it's not normal for them to just come out and tell us about something…" I laughed in response, Emmett was right, at least in my opinion.

"Next time we need to talk we can go hunting." Emmett smiled, and pointed down the road.

"That strip club is still just down the street."

**Wow…. It's been like two weeks since my last update… that's crazy. Well I know you're all wondering? Finals and pre-finals week kind of kicked my ass. Like up and down the whole school. So yeah I'm just writing again. I might not get back to my 2 updates a week pace, well… if I get rolls of twenty dollar bills hell I'll update every day! But anyway since that's highly unlikely, yeah I'm writing again, note, reviews make me write faster. But hey thanks for all of my reviewers, my story wouldn't be this good without you. you know the routine, reviews, high fives, ideas, comments, right here.**


	32. Merry Christmas

**Disclaimer: Yeah so I'm definitely not Stephenie Meyer, she wouldn't have left you in the lurch for a month… or would she?**

**Disclaimer Deuce: I disappeared for a month, and I'm going to blame lack of reviews… well that and lack of computer. Really mostly lack of computer.**

Embry's POV

My Christmas shopping escapades didn't end well, at least not for me, I only ended up buying a small dollar gift for Jasper, but I couldn't think of anything else, I wasn't feeling particularly witty. I was awoken to Alice bouncing up and down on my bed, at 4:30 in the morning. She knew I'd be waking up around now, in fact before she started bounding on my bed I was in the process of waking up. She leapt up the bed at me and I caught her mid air with both my arms and my knees, there she hung, suspended, until she moved her body in to a flying position, emulating a young child. I laughed then attempted to give her a serious look.

"No, bad Alice." She looked sorry for a moment then spun out of my arms and in to a standing position next to the bed. She jumped up and down like a kid in a candy store. I held my hand out stopping her. I woke up adjusting my back, this morning my neck was fine, I didn't need to crack anything there. I sat up slowly, very slowly partially just to get to Alice. She was pouting next to me as if waiting for me to wake up made her a martyr.

"Hey we're going to a service, you coming along?" That seemed out of the ordinary to me. They had showed no major signs of faith besides the large hand carved cross they hung in the hallway.

"Wait, what Alice?" Alice threw a pair pants at me, then a shirt which I caught while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Why are we going to a Christmas mass?" Carlisle leaned in to the room with an eyebrow raised.

"You think we can't learn anything from one of the few things in this world older then I am?" _I guess I never thought about it like that_. I thought back to one of my conversations with Jasper about Carlisle, He used to be very religious. Carlisle disappeared from the room.

"Our family always goes to Christmas mass as a family, mostly to support Carlisle, but it's one of our traditions." When I thought about it made sense.

"Carlisle goes to a mass once a week, not always the same sect, but all for the same reason." Alice continued. I wondered what could peak this reaction, Carlisle always seemed to be in control, what use of it was a religion of sorts. I realized I was being overly cynical.

"The reason is to ask his father to forgive him, and to hope for a greater meaning, a future for an assumed forsaken people. He believes in the good in people, it's why he never drank human blood. He loathes what he became, but realized he could use his curse to help humans. It's why he's a doctor. Really I've always admired that about him." Alice finished introspectively. It made sense now, I felt like a jerk for even asking. I threw on my clothes quickly after Alice left and cleaned myself up, it'd be the first Christian mass I've been to. We piled in to cars and went to mass at a local church. Even Leah joined us. The clothing she wore looked unfamiliar, unlike her regular clothing. Quickly I figured out Alice had bought her the clothes she was wearing for this occasion.

The experience was different then I expected, the music wasn't dry and dead like I'd heard from people who attended mass, in fact the drummer looked familiar. I wasn't quite sure why, but I knew I'd seen him around. Edward leaned behind Jasper to my ear.

"That's because he's in your classes, he's a sophomore at Central High." I nodded and watched him drumming. He was good. I could tell the music didn't challenge him. The priest's homily was interesting. It was a story, this church had a "midnight mass" last night and a bat had flown in, as they apparently always do when incense burns at night. He shared this because it led in to his story. I tried not to laugh when he explained that at night when there was cloud cover a bat would lead the three wise men. The priest must have come up with the homily on the fly, a feat that amazed me. My eyes returned to the drummer. After watching him play again his eyes turned to me. _He couldn't have noticed me though? Why would he? We were in the back of the church_. I turned away regardless. I looked back and saw a small smirk on his face. _He KNEW I was watching him_.

"What's his name?" I said quietly to myself knowing my family could hear me clearly.

"Michael Iverson, and he did know you were watching him."

We got home and to my surprise gifts Cullen's gave at Christmas weren't too far over the top. Thanks to my dexterity from being a wolf I could carve intricate designed that I could never do before. I took especially long on Leah's, she'd seen them before. I wanted to make it special. I made something for everyone in the family, and I gave Jasper a cheap mood ring for fun. I got an Acoustic guitar from Edward who, read my mind once knowing I'd like to learn guitar. Jacob got a dog collar from Rosalie, who still wasn't completely fond of him. _I don't think she's completely fond of anyone_. I thought to myself._ She doesn't appear to hate me_. I thought inwardly. Edward smirked eavesdropping as he always did. The rest of the day was rather anti-climatic. Jasper attempted to start teaching me how to play guitar but after a couple hours the calluses were getting to me. I decided to go for a run.

As far as runs go, this was a slow run, it was only at a sprinting pace for most humans. I took the _slow_ pace to think about things. I knew I couldn't hold out against Leah much longer, I didn't want to either. She had my heart in her hands and I couldn't wait for it to end to start it again. I tried to figure out why I needed it to wait. My most logical argument was we need to deal with the Minnesota wolves first but even that was faulty because it wasn't like we were going some where. I was just afraid to get hurt. I'd committed with all of my heart but my head was still torn. I had always lived my life listening to my heart, but my heart had been shattered. I guess I'd just wait until we'd dealt with the immediate problem.

That wasn't the only thing on my mind though. The wolves were coming at any time, and without Alice's ability foresee their attack we basically needed to wait till they came to us. We were outnumbered, a point no one brought to mind. I didn't know what to do anymore. My thoughts were interrupted by an unexpected running partner.

"Hey, running at a speed I can keep up with you? that isn't like you at all." I laughed, it was Leah.

"So why are you out here running?" I asked causally moving down to a more comfortable pace.

"Same reason as you, I'm here to think." I wouldn't ask her to leave but thinking wasn't possible with her here anymore. Every thought was about her, all the tension between us trying not to do anything outside of being friends. My thoughts were infiltrated by Leah, every thought was her. I did was I do to forget her, I ran, pushing myself harder, until Leah was lost behind me. I pushed myself harder, faster. I couldn't help myself. I stopped short when I realized I'd out run Leah. I didn't intentionally; it's just how I ran. I turned back and stopped for a second looking in the direction I came. I heard her running in the distance then she sprung from the snow covered brush and tackled me on to the ground. I rolled with it and rolled in to a tree with a loud thud. Snow dropped on to me finally I had Leah pinned against the ground both shoulders under my arms and I looked down at her triumphantly, without thought I bent down and kissed her. I stopped myself quickly and jumped off and stepped back slowly. She got up quickly and angrily, I knew I had screwed up. Both her fists clenched at her sides. Her eyes burned with anger, an anger that had been reserved for me as of late.

I was prepared to take any beating she gave me, after all I deserved it. I put my hands out palms up trying to be diplomatic. She opened her hands as she got closer then pushed me hard with both palms to the chest in to the tree behind me. My head struck hard against the trunk and I winced in pain. She then proceeded to push her body against mine and lift her self to kiss me passionately. Though it wasn't the response I was expecting I maybe should have, I couldn't stop her even if I wanted to and to be honest I really didn't. She pulled herself away slightly before sweeping my legs and tackling me on to the ground behind her and climbing on top of me victoriously. I tried to sit up but as I did before she put both her hands on my shoulder and forced them back to the snow. This time a bit more forcefully. She laid her body down on mine then kissed me softly pulling my to her before pulling back.

"So much for just friends." I said sighing.

"Well look where your hands are if you're going to blame Me." she said smirking. My hands were slightly above the backs of her knees, while not grossly inappropriate definitely not a place "just friends" would have them. My fingers slowly slid up the length of her legs, her toned perfect smooth legs. Meanwhile she lowered herself back down to me and kissed me and I returned it, forgetting all my pretenses of holding back. she let go of my shoulders and wrapped her arms around my neck trying to pull herself closer to me as we kissed. I felt grass beneath me and I realized we were melting the snow around us. I tried not to laugh but I was unsuccessful.

"Nothing we're just… well melting snow" she rolled her eyes at me and looked disappointed that anything could penetrate my skull while she was making out with me. I always found it weird that I thought a lot during this time, I wouldn't say I think completely clearly but I just tend to keep thinking. Her hands removed themselves from my neck then grabbed my wrists and put my hands on her ass. She was wearing very high cut jean shorts. I thought they were really hot, but I'd never tell her that. I began to rub her ass as she returned my hands to my neck. She removed her mouth from mine and kissed my cheek and moved to my ear.

"Embry, you're really hot." I knew what she meant, and I could say something back, but it was always my natural reaction to be a buzzkill. I couldn't help it, it was just what I do.

"Yeah, furnace remember?" Leah didn't appreciate my sense of humor and slapped me across the face for it. I was still grinning. It was stupid, but worth it… totally worth it. I stopped to think about it, I'm cock blocking myself and it's worth it? I shrugged internally.

"You're thinking too much again aren't you?" my eyes returned to Leah and I grinned. then I nodded.

"I've got something better for you to focus on." She said lowering her lips to mine. My body reacted and returned the kiss, it wasn't a choice anymore. She slowly lifted her head and kept herself inches away from my face. Her hair gently lay on my face. She exhaled slowly and in took in her scent. She smiled again.

"Merry Christmas."

**You see what happens when not everyone reviews?!?! I disappear for over a month, maybe two! If you don't want me to disappear again you need to review like mad fools… or at least that was what I was going to say until I realized this week I've got my tenth review on this chapter, eh, take your pick. Reviews to press me to write faster, but my computer disappearing for a month definitely slows me down. (Spoiler) I'm almost done with filler, soon the next chapters will have more story intensive content, and less characterizating content (yes I made that up, but I'm writing the fanfic, I get away with that) You all know the deal by now, High fives, knucks, comments, questions, and concerns… and most definitely ideas are all welcome. Review here.**


	33. Boxing Day

**Disclaimer: Nothing lasts forever even though I'm not Stephanie Meyer (November Rain)**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Sixteen reviews on the last chapter? Can you say High Score? lol had to say it. well hmmm, 17 right now.**

Embry's POV

"And the memory now is like the picture was then  
When the pictures crumpled up can't be perfect again." Without my usual groan I turned over and turned off my music. As always I cracked my back in a way that would make most onlookers wince in pain. I made my way down to the breakfast table to eat, Leah was already there waiting. A feat that definitely surprised me but I hid my notice. She was already eating seeming proud of herself for something I only assumed was waking up before me. I sat down to a hefty breakfast engulfing it as I had become accustom to doing. Alice was bringing the last of the toast then stopped dead in her tracks and her fingers slipped for a moment, I caught the toast and she caught the plate before it hit the ground. Immediately everyone was near Alice asking questions, I didn't understand what was the big deal?

"They're coming, they'll be here tomorrow."

Everyone was still reeling from the announcement a couple hours ago that the wolves would attack tomorrow, we all knew it'd happen sooner or later but we thought it wouldn't be so soon. Leah was pacing back in forth in front of me, I swear she was indenting the floor but no one would stop her. Her phone rang and she picked up quickly.

"Hi, what is it? Oh Seth, it's you." she said trying to calm herself down.

"No, nothing's wrong… No it doesn't concern you." she said continuing to pace.

"No, I told you Seth, don't worry about it! What? No you're not coming over here, you don't even know what's going on. No, I'm not going to tell you, just don't worry about it. Hey, I'm the older sister here, I can take care of myself." Leah began to rub her temple as she paced faster.

"Well, fine I'll let you talk to Embry." Leah tossed me her cell phone and gave me a glare that told me not to tell Seth.  
"Hello?" I answered in question.

"What the heck is going on Embry? What's up with Leah." He asked already impatient.

"I can't tell you bud." I answered him.

"Fine can you at least tell me she's not in any sort of danger?" My eyes met Leah's for a moment, I wouldn't lie straight to Seth, with my eyes I apologized.

"No… I can't…" I answered finally.

"I'm her brother, I deserve to know." I had to agree with him. I removed the phone from my mouth for a moment.

"I'm sorry Leah, but he's right he does deserve to know." Leah gave me a betrayed look but I ignored it.

"Your cousins are coming to kill the Cullens. As you could have guessed Leah, Jacob and I won't have that." Seth swore to himself and in the back round I heard another familiar voice.

"Is that Quil?"

"Yeah it is, well here's what's going down, we're going to catch the first flight to Minnesota right now, and there's nothing you can do about it." I rolled my eyes.

"How are you going to pay for it Seth?" I said trying to find a way from getting him to Minnesota, anything to keep him away right now.

"Keeping my sister alive is a bit more important than college, I'll just take it from there." I groaned.

"Listen Seth, I'll make sure it gets paid for, just get to the airport." I said finally giving up, Jasper hearing our conversation nodded and pulled out his cell phone. I turned around to hear.

"Yes this is Mr. Jasper Cullen, I'm going to need two plane tickets from Seattle to Minneapolis, for this afternoon." I heard a slight pause.

"No I don't care what they cost you insignificant ant, get them. Yes the two people you are looking for are large native Americans, names; Seth and Quil." He closed his phone. He returned to his much calmer normal stance. He'd once told me some times fear was the best way to control a relationship.

I made my way outside to think concentrate, even though yesterday that was exactly the opposite of what happened. I made my way down to the river at a relaxed jog, through the woods and the deep snow. I slowed down climbing up and down trees as I went, jumping from tree to tree. I stopped and caught myself on a thick branch silently. I heard something. It wasn't a deer but I couldn't make out what it was. My eyes followed my ears to a distance. I dropped from the tree silently and made my way cautiously. I followed where the sound came from originally, now not a leaf was out of place, I used my eyes but in the distance I didn't see movement. As I followed I heard a soft noise I couldn't distinguish. My eyes followed until I could see a figure. It was a person, some one. From what I could see he was sitting on a rock with something on his lap, as I made my way closer I could tell it was a drum pad, he was practicing in the snow, something I would have laughed at until I realized how good he was. As I moved closer I realized I recognized him. _Holy shit! Is that Michael Iverson?_ I kept watching and I knew it was him. I had to stay quiet, he was much better then I thought he was. Better than me at the very least.

After having watched him for twenty minutes my legs were getting sore from the crouched position I was in. I stood up slowly and made my way back to the farm but not before running straight in to Leah. She started falling to the ground but I caught her before she could and gathered her back in to my arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention" I said slowly releasing her. She pushed her body closer to mine by the same hands that were helping her up were now holding her back.

"No… I can't make that mistake again." She made a disapproving noise under her breath. I didn't want to push her away my body yearned for her, eventually she bypassed my arms and wrapped her arms around me, breathing softly on my neck.

"You want this as much as I do, maybe more even." I let out an unintentional groan then stopped myself dead. I weaved my way out of her arms and jumped up in to a tree knowing full well she could follow me.

"I don't want it like this, I don't want to make the same mistakes over and over again, I can't let that happen. No, no, no, no." I looked down at her knowing full well what this meant.

"I'm sorry Leah, but right now I can't keep ignoring the mistakes of the past and hope they go away. I love you."

Leah's POV

"You want this as much as I do, Maybe more even." I said smiling to myself, Embry let out a soft sexy groan, then quickly realized what he did. I smiled but Embry stopped himself immediately pulling back.

he turned and leapt in to a tree as if it was second nature, some times I still stopped to admire the way he moved, how majestic it was, how simple, how comfortable he'd gotten with his body. They way he controlled it completely, how he knew which branch would hold his weight, how he could be silent or loud in movement, more then any other wolf, he'd learned about himself, and in my absence he learned more, he'd gotten bigger, he'd worked out, and without trying to, he was driving me crazy with it.

"I don't want it like this, I don't want to make the same mistakes over and over again, I can't let that happen. No, no, no, no." He said shaking his head, almost as if he was convincing himself as well. He turned and looked behind him, as if plotting out his course.

"I'm sorry Leah, but right now I can't keep ignoring the mistakes of the past and hope they go away. I love you." In that instant our eyes locked, I could see the love, the passion, the fear, and the need all the raged on in them. Then a split second later his eyes were elsewhere. He turned and leapt away disappearing from my sight. I realized I had stopped breathing. I wanted to chase him, stop him but something was pulling at me, telling me that he'd come back for me. something telling me I didn't need to, I'd pull him back my way. _Your pride, you bitch, it's your pride_. I thought to myself. My pride had gotten in the way of my relationship, I was too afraid to see what I did wrong, I pawned it off on him blamed him, but I was too proud to apologize, maybe that was what he kept running away from, maybe that was what the mistakes of the past were, how much trouble would be fixed if I wasn't so prideful? _Who are you and what happened to Leah? Embry, Embry happened to me_.

I needed to tell him. I needed to tell him now. I needed to make things right. My pride kept arguing, putting it off, but the best argument was now wasn't the time. I wasn't going to be ten minutes late. I wouldn't fix it before the fight with the wolves, but I'd make sure that Embry knew how I felt before it, and I wouldn't leave him like that again, I needed him too. I knew what I had to do now, what I should have done a long time ago… Apologize.

Embry was listening to music in his room, I found it odd, I'd never seen him in his room for anything besides sleep since I came here. I wrote it off in my mind as a coincidence. He was reading a book, I couldn't make it out which, Joe Satriani guitar rifts sounded in the back round. I felt silly knocking on his door as it was already open. He looked up slightly from his book. He noticed me and sighed slightly and put it to the side and turned off his music. I gave him a look for the sigh.

"It was just getting to a good part." He explained and I started turning to leave. He laughed.

"Oh come on Leah, don't be that way." I pouted and crossed my arms and he closed his eyes if my pout was weakening him by the moment.

I was beginning to second guess myself what if he'd gotten tired of all of this? Embry gave me a look apologizing for sighing. I smiled, we'd established so much that words didn't need to be exchanged.

_Words are very unnecessary they can only do harm_._ Wasn't that lyrics he used to quote to me all the time?_ _What were the words to that song before that?_ I knew they were something I needed to know something I needed to hear, something beautiful, something I wished he whispered to me quietly with his arms around me. I needed that again. I was now third guessing myself. _What if this isn't what he wants?_ I pushed all the doubts out of my head, I've never had them before.

I figured they were my mind trying to keep myself from taking a leap of faith from really putting myself out there, I couldn't have Embry without reaching for him anymore, and even though he never said it like that, that's exactly what it meant.

I slowly pushed the hesitation along with a long breath out of my chest. Embry noticed and calmed down making it easier for me.

"Leah, it's okay just…" he said drifting off he wasn't prepared for this. I moved closer to him, all of a sudden the room didn't seem so large, it was just Embry and I, staring in to each others eyes. _Intimate? Yes, Quiet now!_ My overwhelming urge was to tackle him in to the wall and… _Focus you hormone driven dog_. I thought to myself, oh how roles had been reversed.

Once again I took a moment to focus, my eyes refocused on his, his beautiful brown eyes, they were a mid shade of brown, strong, unrelenting, and yet… innocent. I could get lost in his eyes for hours. Mentally I shook all distractions out of my mind everything pushing itself. For at least the fourth time I tried to focus. I looked back in to his eyes with a sense of determination.

"Embry… It's hard for me, this is hard for me." I said finally moving to the topic. Embry moved to the side to try and move out of the way.

"It's okay Leah, it doesn't need to happen now, just-" I grabbed him with both my arms and forcefully put him back in front of me.

"Just shut up Embry, really!" I said not even looking at him. He laughed. I punched him in the shoulder and he winced. My hand rubbed it.

"Sorry I just.... well" I said backpedaling. I took a single step back and Embry's arms shot up can caught me for a moment stopping me dead in my tracks.

"Relax Leah, if you want to leave put this off, that's fine, but know I'll be here." Something sounded very familiar about this.

"Huh? Why?" I asked

"I'll be waiting here… for you… so if you come here you'll find me… I promise." I knew he'd told me that before, but couldn't place when. And it finally clicked for me. He'd always loved me, but never had the strength to say it. It was another way to say it and I felt in my heart I'd fell in love with him long before I considered saying it.

"Embry, I love you… I can't keep going on with this charade it's only hurting both of us and I need you." I said putting myself out on a limb. Embry didn't move quickly. Softly he moved his right hand up to my face and brushed hair putting it behind my ear. It felt so good to feel his hand on my face again. His left hand joined his right and he held my head softly and pulled himself to me kissing me softly, lovingly, sensually, passionately. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't lust driven kiss, wasn't driven by our bodies need for each other. It was slow, soft, meaningful. So this is what love felt like. Embry leaned his forehead to mine pushing his scent closer to mine.

"I love you too Leah."

**Okay so originally I was going to add the part where Seth and Quil come in to MN on the end of this chapter but I thought people would like this ending much more. Wow, this was probably the most romantic chapter I have written. Hmm people might go questioning my masculinity, I better go off and play football, oh, I know I'll go sparring with my friend, yeah that sounds like a plan. I'm really sorry about the length of time between updates, I'm spending a lot of time with a friend of mine (I know crazy I'm not just pandering to the online masses reading my story) and working tons. SOOO you know the drill, give me rolls of twenty dollar bills and I won't do anything but write… seriously LOL good times, but yeah comments, ideas, discussions here in review, if you don't know I reply to all of them anyway.**


	34. New Wolf Divide

**Disclaimer: I'm starting writing at 11:31 P.M. don't expect way too much from me. Oh yeah and I'm not Stephenie Meyer so stop bugging me about it (in reality no one's bugged me about it but hey I'll keep saying it)**

**Disclaimer Deuce: dew dew… dew dew… dew dew dew dew… salsa shark… we're gonna need a bigger boat.**

Embry's POV

"And your voice is all I heard that I get what I deserve" I turned over and turned off my music and was greeted with a groan.

"Hey I like that song." I heard, it only took a second for me to remember why. Seth and Quil were sleeping in my room.

"Sorry Seth." I said not turning it back on either. I was amused to see I wasn't the only one who needed to readjust their neck and back when they woke up, Seth and Quil too had similar morning rituals. I stripped down and changed in front of them, it didn't surprise them, and we'd changed in front of each other countless times. I left the room after changing and went down stairs to the mouth watering aroma of one of the largest if not largest breakfasts I'd ever seen in my life.

Some how the Cullen's had guessed roughly how much everyone would eat because there wasn't anything left and none of us could eat any thing else anyway. After we finished eating we continued to sit there playing with silverware as we talked. I always needed my fingers to be doing something, it was one of the things that always drove Leah up a wall. Before it was flipping a knife between my fingers, that was before Leah took it from me rolling her eyes mumbling something about "looking after kids again." Now it was a fork I was playing with, much less dangerous, Leah however still mumbled about keeping anything dangerous out of my hands. I turned my head to Quil and Jacob across the table from me.

"I'm going to challenge a wolf to a duel. Unphased, if I win they leave us alone." I told the two across the table.

"Hah, we both know it's going to be David who answers the call, so gallant of him." Jacob mocked Quil nodded as this was the first time he heard this plan, I had told Jacob, but I hadn't informed Leah, who at my right side seemed not to approve. She quickly caught on that I'd fielded this idea already.

"You told Jacob but not me?" I didn't understand why this was a big deal.

"Well yes, I mean I wanted to discuss it with him what pros and cons would be of it." she crossed her arms angrily at me.

"And you didn't think you should do that with me?" I put my hands up as if to defend myself.

"Well that's kind of what I'm doing now." Leah made a disapproving noise.

"You've already made your choice, apparently my vote didn't count." My eyes opened wider.

"This is the safest thing to do, if I can beat one of their wolves without phasing then no one needs to get really hurt." I said believing what I thought was completely logical.

"Yes… but you should have talked to me… I just… nothing." Leah said getting up uncomfortably and walking out. I turned to the rest of the pack and Quil motioned for me to follow Leah. I turned immediately and by the time she was on the porch I was caught up with her.

"Lee, what was that all about?" I asked she leaned up against the rail then sat on it.

"It's just… well… I'm just worried about you. You know how much you mean to me. It's just, well telling you I love you was a huge step for me… and… well…" I softly placed my pointer finger on her lip and closed the gap between us wrapping my other arm around her.

"I'm sorry Lee, I just didn't know." I said a bit dumbfounded. It was a whole new Leah Clearwater. My finger that had previously been holding her lips now was running down the side of her face and she shivered.

"I'm glad I still have that affect on you." she shook her head fiercely.

"Nope, it's just cold out, you know it's only five degrees out and I'm in a tank top." I laughed to myself.

"Yeah that has to be it." I said sarcastically agreeing with her. Quickly I took a much more serious tone.

"I need you to promise me something Leah, please." Seeing the fear in my eyes she agreed almost immediately.

"Eh sure Emb, what is it?" she said trying to keep it causal but at the same time worried.

"Just please… be here… when it's all over, don't leave me again… please promise me." she placed both hands on my cheeks and kissed me softly then pulled away a couple inches.

"I promise Embry, I'm not going anywhere." She promised her face only inches from mine.

"You know I love you Leah." She smirked evilly to me.

"Yeah, what's not to love?" he arms snaked around my neck as she softly kissed me again. I heard a sound and turned quickly as a very angry David stood wearing only sweat pants.

"Where's the rest of you, I was expecting more of you." David crossed his arms.

"They're coming, I'm just the fastest." Something clicked in his head quickly.

"What do you mean, _expecting_ more of us?" I grinned, it might be able to intimidate him out of fighting.

"Oh we knew you were going to attack us today." I said offhandedly as if it wasn't nearly the big deal it was. It was all part of a ruse. Harley was next out of the woods flanked by two wolves. They looked like twins but I couldn't be sure, I could only assume they were Chad and Ethan. The rest of the wolves soon were gathered at the edge of the woods. As our plan had entailed Jacob, Seth, and Quil joined me outside. All five of us trying to look much more intimidating then we were. I took a step forward and spoke my part.

"I challenge any one here to a duel, in our human form, if I win you'll all leave us alone, If you win, well then you can come through me to get to the Vampires." David stepped forward before Harley could say a word then his word was spoken regardless.

"Either way we'll still fight, this changes nothing." I shrugged.

"I was just trying to save some lives here." David snorted. I redirected his attention to him.

"Right, I heard you were the one who thought I should be killed for getting in the way. Right… so whose the bad guys again?" I said mockingly. He charged at me as I knew he would. Apparently he'd learned a couple things from our last encounter, he caught me off guard with a hook from his right hand. It connected with my cheek knocking me to my hands on the ground, I turned spun back and connected with a straight punch to the nose busting it.

"Always with the fucking nose!" he yelled staggering backwards holding his face. I faked right and he took the bait moving towards me until I came back left planting my knee in to his stomach he clasped his body trying to catch his breathe. I didn't give him a chance I grabbed his shoulders spun him put my arm around his throat and another in a sort of half nelson I lifted David off the ground so he couldn't push off, turning my lower body so he couldn't kick me. Harley took a step forward as David flailed.

"Ah, this is our duel, you come and stop us, I might just Phase, and that could mortally injure this one, maybe even kill him." Harley took another step forward as David was fading.

"You wouldn't I can read that about you… you're not evil." I laughed evilly as I could.

"Then why are you attacking me?" I asked while still choking the life out of David.

"I can read that you're a good person, but misguided, you're protecting the wrong people these people are dangerous." I laughed buying time arguing. He was right, I wouldn't phase with David in my arms, no matter how much I wanted to I needed to buy more time.

"I used to be like you." I said leaving it open ended. I needed more time to knock David out. He stopped for a moment.

"How so?" he said actually interested.

"I used to believe these Vampires were evil, that all are, truth be told there are only ten to twenty that aren't a threat to us in the world, these are some of them." Harley realized I was trying to delay him and started running at me. out of the corner of my eye I saw movement from the house and a moment later Jasper was standing in front of me with both his arms spread out protecting me.

"You won't hurt Embry." I growled behind Jasper. I didn't need to be protected, Jasper being there stopped Harley in his tracks. I felt David lose consciousness in my arms and I let him fall to the ground.

"I knew you wouldn't let us walk away, I just wanted to lower your numbers a bit." I said grinning evilly as I stepped up to Harley past Jasper.

"I kneed him in the gut to knock the wind out of him before I choked off his air so he couldn't fight."

"Oh yeah? What was with the punch to the nose?" I heard a wolf on the other side. I shrugged in response.

"Vindictive pleasure." I heard snickering from the other side and some one mutter _"I've wanted to do that for years_._" _The Cullen's joined us outside. We were evenly matched, unlike other battles before we didn't have the advantage in numbers. These weren't misguided newborns either. The wolves disappear in to the trees and phase, I smile and phase in place ripping my clothes apart. The rest of the wolves stripped first.

_"Really? You're just going to rip through clothes every time?"_ Seth thought at me.

_"This way Alice always needs to buy me new clothes, it's like her dream come true_._" _I responded. Leah barked a laugh. Edward and Jasper walked up to the line and eyed to wolves that were flanking Harley, the largest of their wolves.

"Ethan, Chad you two are facing us, we're the best fighters here." Emmett snorted in disapproval and crossed his arms. The two wolves seemed to be beaming, proud of themselves, but it wasn't the kind of pride that David exuded it was pure. I could feel it coming off them, or maybe I just loathed David so much I warped everything he did to look evil.

_"Nah you judged David right, he was a bag of douche, I can't believe I ever dated him_." Leah thought at me.

_"Wait what!? You were dating the guy Embry just knocked out? Well I guess I see how that worked out_._" _Leah immediately regretted thinking about it.

_"What do you mean "how that worked out?" _Quil asked.

_"Well Leah went out with him and now he's unconscious on the ground_._" _Seth thought laughing.

_"I wanted a sister_._" _Leah thought pointedly at Seth. Chad and Ethan charged at Edward and Jasper. As the strategized earlier Edward was going to completely follow Jaspers thoughts, only following his lead so there wasn't any thought or response, any thing Jasper thought they followed fighting. To my surprise it looked like Edward and Jasper were on the losing side. Chad and Ethan were working as one, but Edward and Jasper had nearly a century of experience on their side, they weren't getting beat but if they slipped up they would be.

The wolves paired off against our pack, then the rest paired off against the vampires. Harley waiting for me, he wanted to duel me. Both of us felt it neither one of us had to say anything. I growled low and crouched before leaping at Harley.

Kevin's POV

I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew this Vampire. I don't know why or how but I couldn't place where. What was worse is this "Vampire" had yet to attack, he'd just evaded or blocked my every attack. It didn't seem like he wanted to hurt me at all. As if he didn't want to fight.

_"Stop thinking and fight him Kevin_._" _Harley growled at me. I couldn't shake it, I always pictured Vampires as blood thirsty monsters, red eyes, and fangs, his eyes were golden, as if clean, which didn't make sense to me, why would a vampire's eyes appear clean, spotless. He'd opened his mouth before, no fangs, but the part that really had me miffed was the fact that he wasn't bursting in to flames in direct sunlight, _I mean that's how it's supposed to be right?_

_"Focus Kevin!" _I heard Harley command at me. I sighed and obeyed the command charging at who seemed the oldest of the Vampires. I looked in his face, it showed compassion, pity really, and regret, then when he smiled I recognized it. I stopped and forced my body to fall in front of him then ran backwards.

_"Holy shit!"_ I thought as I recognized him. I turned back in to a human and threw holding myself up on my back by my arms.

"Doctor… Doctor Cullen is that you?" The Vampire looked at me for a moment then his eyes widened.

"Delhi, isn't it?" I gasped. It was Dr. Cullen. He was the Doctor who delivery my younger brother Aden.

"It IS you!" I said finally confirming it out loud. The Dr. Cullen nodded in response.

"Yes, this is my family." I turned and saw what was happening. Jack was the wolf fighting his wife, I could see that, he wanted to help but didn't, I would. I sprinted at jack and wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to the ground.

"Jack, unphase right now." I said avoiding a swipe of one of his paws. I was on top of him laying on his back on the ground, he became human and pulled his sweat pants on.

"What is this all about Kevin!" He yelled at me pushing me off. He turned back to the woman who, like Dr. Cullen stopped fighting and joined her husband. Jack took a swing at me but I dodged it, I was always faster then him.

"Look at that man, that's the doctor that delivered Aden!" Jack turned his eyes to him then took a second.

"Shit, that IS him. What's he doing here?" Jack as always was my dumb younger brother.

"This is his family we gotta stop this."

Embry's POV

Harley was good, really good. He'd learned from our last encounter. Neither one of us had managed to gain the upper hand. I took a couple steps back to think before I attacked but two humans ran past and stopped Harley.

They whispered in to his ear for a minute then Harley transformed in to a human and put his clothes back on quickly ordering the rest of the wolves to do the same. Now that the fight was over I let the pain inflicted really sink in, I phased back to my human form and my left arm was broken. I winced in pain. I gave Harley a matching one on his right arm, but like me he didn't show pain until now. Apparently Carlisle was the doctor who delivered one of the wolve's younger brothers, that was a lucky break for us. Carlisle came to my side and pushed my arm in to place with his hands, Edward disappeared and reappeared with a sling, I grumbled my disapproval but they insisted, and to my dismay, so did Leah.

Leah's POV

I didn't want to listen to Dave, but he deserved at least this much. And I needed to tell him this, I needed to let him know how I felt. We stepped out in to the woods, the vampires could still hear us here, but not any of the wolves, not that Dave needed to know this. I stopped and looked him in the eye, I needed to do this, for myself as much as him, it'd be hard but it needed to be done.

"Dave… I'm sorry but, I'm breaking up with you… I'm sorry." I said apologizing. Dave looked sad. I could see he was on the verge of tears.

"I love him Dave… I'm sorry." He looked away for a moment, then his eyes returned to me.

"I just want you to be happy, in the end if he makes you happy." Dave drifted off before turning around and walking away.

**Yeah I know that's a bit of a twist, seeing Dave/David as a real character with some upsides besides all his flaws?!? IMPROBABLE! Well I updated fast, don't make me regret it by not reviewing or who knows how long I'll be gone, you're all in for a huge chapter next chapter so don't miss out. Leave me tons of commets, questions, ideas, high fives, knucks, heart shaped reviews, and rolls of twenty dollar bills…**


	35. Set it off

**Disclaimer: Hmm Well I'm still not Stephenie Meyer… and I should apologize for Disclaimer Deuce in Disclaimer classic.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: "well, well, well, sorry for dropping in… unannounced… we thought it best to hunt the strongest prey first."**

Embry's POV

I laid in my bed awake because I couldn't sleep anyway. My broken arm made it increasingly difficult to do much of anything and I couldn't sleep in a chair because I couldn't get comfortable without getting hurt there either.

I couldn't complain however because I never expected our encounter with the wolves to go so well. Best case scenario I thought at least some one would die, and myself and Harley were the only ones who came out with any real injuries.

Harley was laying on the on a bed moved in opposite of me, propped up much like I was. I heard him wince and I laughed.

"You know you caused this, you got me first." I grumbled. We were both very sleepy.

"Shut up." was all he mustered as a response. I laughed louder then time then winced in pain against my shoulder and swore loudly. I gripped my shoulder in pain as Harley laughed then had the same reaction. Leah stepped in to the room quickly as if a reaction to my pain. She softly sat on the side of my bed not to stir any movement and softly placed her hand on my cheek.

"Embry, is there anything I can do?" As always she felt she was some how responsible for this, how could I tell her I couldn't have dreamed for a better outcome. _Well besides one where you're put up in your own room with the guy who gave you the injury to begin with_. I could always recover from pain, injury. She was with me that's all I wanted. Using my good arm I pulled her closer to me and softly kissed her and pulled myself back.

"Yes Lee, you can go get some sleep." She shook her head then very softly rubbed a bruise on my arm.

"No, I'm not tired I'd rather be here." I sighed and responded.

"No, Leah, please go to bed, if I need anything the rest of the Cullen's are here, I'll be fine, you haven't slept at all and you need it, now go to bed, please." She pouted next to me and I felt my resolve wavering but regardless I kept my face composed.

"Alright, but only if you let Jasper help you out." I sighed and nodded giving in. Leah left the room and my eyes turned to Harley who wasn't logically watching Leah leave, but rather looking at me.

"She loves you, you know that?" I smiled in response and nodded.

"Yes, I know. I'm very lucky." I responded. I heard Jasper outside the door waiting. I turned back to Harley.

"Jasper is about to come in here and… aid our sleeping efforts, don't fight it, it's nothing bad, he's got a certain talent, he can control emotions, he's going to help relax us so we can go to sleep, I'm usually against this but, yeah Leah kind of made me. So don't try and fight it." Harley nodded. Jasper stepped in to the room and he immediately tensed up.

"Oh… that's Jasper." I nodded. I watched as systematically Harley's body relaxed, I was already relaxing, Jasper remained neutral as I drifted off to sleep, I only could assume Harley would soon follow.

I was awoken by Alice, she wore a frantic expression that wasn't normal to her. She woke Harley up as well, he awoke with a start and a quick reaction which caused him pain. He wasn't used to his surroundings. I shook the sleep out of my head. I woke up a bit slower from my aided slumber.

"Alice? What's wrong?" I asked as she moved with haste in her eyes.

"It's hard to see with the wolves around but I believe a vampire is coming here and once more he'll be here very soon." I jumped out of my bed quickly and Harley stood up quickly as well.

"Wait, another one? There is more?"

"Yes, and most likely they won't share the same diet as the Cullens" I answered Harley.

"Same diet? What do you mean?" He asked not quite understanding yet.

"Well, this one may feed on humans." Harley apparently didn't like this prospect.

"We must kill it then." Harley answered. I shook my head quickly.

"We can't simply kill them for sucking blood of humans." Harley seemed confused and betrayed at the same time.

"Why not?"

"If we kill vampires for sucking blood of humans we'll be slaughtered. It is a vampire's core nature, to sustain themselves on the blood of humans, and we can't condemn others for following their basic instinct. It's something we believe in but not everyone feels the same way." Carlisle answered from the hall.

"That and there is something like a vampire royalty that would kill us if we tried it, they are very, very powerful." Jasper said answering Harley's actual question.

"We don't know who this vampire is, for everyone's safety we'd like to get the wolves out of here." We got up and headed outside but we stopped short on the porch, standing in front of us at the mouth of the yard was a single man, I could tell he was a vampire. Something about him was familiar. Instinctively I put my hand up against Leah pushing her back in to the house but Leah didn't go, Alice stepped out to push myself and Leah as well. As I was trying to protect Leah I lost control of my body and was lifted in to the air. Alice seemed dumbfounded as well as she floated along side me. Then as if we were pulled my body without my consent was thrown out of the way, I collided hard with a tree and groaned in pain as my injured arm collided hit the trunk of a tree. My eyes turned back to the person standing in front of us. His hand and eyes were on us. He wasn't surprised, then I realized what had happened. He did it.

"Embry!" Leah called running towards me. she made it to my side checking on my arm. I tried to be brave but when it moved I winced loudly.

Without warning the vampire collapsed to his knees and covered his head, as if in excruciating pain. He screamed a primal scream and Jasper was in front of him immediately grabbing him by his collared shirt and kicking him backwards. The other vampire got to his feet quickly and Jasper's fingers caught the edge of his polo and ripped down the front cutting it in half. The Vampire seemed to be fighting against something and running away instead of defending himself. Jasper reached out and caught the other vampire's wrist and forcefully pulled him in to a punch that caught the side of his jaw. Without releasing the other vampire's wrist Jasper spun and round house kicked him in the stomach. The other vampire went down and Jasper climbed up on to him with his knees on either side of his body above his hips and pulled an arm back to punch before he was pulled off by Emmett and Edward.

I stood up and made my way over to Jasper. I ran quickly to get near him to help Emmett and Edward stop him. from behind it looked like Jasper was literally shaking in anger, and the other vampire was curled up in to a fetal position. Alice moved quickly in front of Jasper putting a hand on his chest.

"Jasper, calm down, I'm fine, so is Embry. Stop this." Jasper stopped shaking, and systematically relaxed his body first by rolling back his shoulders, then down his spine and through his legs. He exhaled deeply and I felt a sudden calm shoot over me, then release me. The vampire previously lying on the ground was now getting up slowly. Edward moved quickly in between the vampire and myself. Emmett followed a second behind. The expression on his face was confusion for a moment then his eyes returned to Leah at my side. His eyes were bright red. His eyes turned to me.

"Patrick? Is that really you?" the vampire nodded and smiled in response. I heard a slow growl from Jasper and Patrick's eyes turned back to Jasper for a moment.

"I don't like you, I don't give a shit what your name is." Patrick growled back in the same voice, obviously a vampire. His eyes turned back to mine for a second, then they widened.

"Call? Holy crap is that the Call kid?" I nodded not letting my eyes away from him for a moment.

"How did you? you weren't six feet tall a last time I saw you, now you look like you're seven feet tall!"

"Six nine, not seven feet." I responded in my most intimidating voice I could muster. By now the rest of the family was gathered around.

"Leah could I talk to you alone for a little while?" Patrick asked. My body tensed and I felt pain shoot up my bad arm. Leah rubbed it softly and turned back to me. She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." I would of course worry, she never knew how much I worried. I saw every guy as some one who would potentially try to take Leah from me. After David, I had definitely gotten worse. I looked at Patrick then leaned down and kissed Leah on the lips.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." she whispered back.

* * *

It'd been a couple hours since Leah had left to talk to Patrick and I didn't like it. It wasn't that I didn't trust Leah, but rather that I didn't like Patrick, I quickly tried to write it off as him liking her in the first place.

"I know what you're going through." Edward said coming up next to me and placing a cold comforting hand on my shoulder.

"What did you do when Bella was spending time with Jacob?" I asked flat out, I needed to have something, know something to do. Emmett laughed as he ran down stairs quickly.

"Oh you don't want to know, Edward paced back and forth as fast as he could, I thought he was going to burn a hole in the ground he was a nervous mess." Jacob laughed and I smiled. Edward turned back to Emmett to scold him.

"That's not going to help at all." Alice was sitting on a stool next to Jasper talking quietly. Rosalie appeared next to Emmett and whispered something that I couldn't hear. And in one single moment, Bella, Alice, and Rosalie turned and faced me. I turned to face them. The double doors behind me opened as Alice ran past me. Rosalie smiled a mischievous smile that matched Bella's. in a single moment my body was lifted as I felt two cold shoulders against my stomach. My body was lifted and struggle as I may have wanted to I was out of the house and moving backwards. I looked down and realized Bella had her left shoulder in to my against my stomach but was at the same time careful of my left arm that was still injured, her arms were locked with Rosalie's and together they were carrying me away, where to I had no idea. They finally stopped at put me down softly, Alice was already here. Edward appeared in my view and Bella stepped back in to his arms.

"Great job darling." He smiled the two of them disappeared leaving me alone with Alice and Rosalie, again. I was tense, defensive, trying to protect myself, then I forced myself to relax. I was still jarred from the trip over.

"We thought it best to just kidnap you here instead of asking for your consent." Rosalie smirked as she passed behind me. her cold arms wove up my left arm only touching where I was tender for a moment.

"Relax, I've got a degree in massage therapy. Now 'Mr. I'm six nine tall' get down to a height where I can reach your shoulders." Rosalie said mockingly quoting me. I got down to my knees then sat cross legged. Rosalie knelt behind me and forced my left shoulder to relax. Then she continued by massaging my shoulder then my upper body, without planning on doing so I managed to lay on my stomach moving my arm out of it's sling and comfortably on to the ground as Rosalie rubbed my whole back.

"You're a nervous wreck, we would have let you fend for yourself but you're not nearly as fun to see nervous as Edward was." Alice laughed. They continued trying to help me relax until finally I drifted off to sleep.

"Embry…" I heard a voice softly call to me. It was Leah. I turned on my right arm then over to my back.

"Patrick wanted me to come to visit him in Seattle or La Push, I told him I was staying here… with you." I smiled relieved that my fears were quenched but something wasn't completely sated, in the back of my mind. Leah could see it in my eyes. She climbed up the length of my body and breathed softly on my face. I smiled and reached up and softly pulled her to me. we kissed passionately.

"I'm not going anywhere Embry. I'm here with you. I'm yours." I growled low as I kissed her. back the pulled away with my arm on her lower back. her hands traced up my stomach to my chest then back down as she kissed me with much more force. I groaned.

"You know what you do to me?" she smiled. And nodded.

"Yes Emb, Yes I do."

**I'd like to say right now I had over half of this written last Sunday. Two days after I posted my last chapter. I finished writing it today, over a week later. Why? Because half as many people reviewed my last chapter. That and other things came up. people reviewing push me to write, if you want me to post quickly review in the like. I could have had another chapter up in three days last time. Who knows how quick it could be if tons of people give me inspiring reviews. Sorry for the off topic rave. Near the end I was uninspired and tried to force it, I'll try not to do that anymore but I wanted to finish my chapter tonight. Well leave your reviews and ideas. Comments, knucks, high fives, and rolls of twenty dollar bills. I don't know what I'm going to do for the next chapter yet… But I've got some ideas.**


	36. Cadence, Patrick's Day

**Disclaimer: Yeah it took a while for me to write, I didn't get as many reviews, and a couple of my favorite reviewers didn't, so yeah there…**

**Disclaimer Deuce: "Our light that shines strong only lasts for so long"**

Embry's POV

"Tie me to the bed post!" _Wait, what the hell?_ I thought forcing myself awake. My vision was readjusting.

"I would swallow my pride  
I would choke on the rinds  
but the lack there of would leave me empty inside  
I would swallow my doubt  
turn it inside out  
find nothing but faith in nothing  
wanna put my tender  
heart in a blender  
watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion  
rendezvous and I'm through with you."

Finally I turned off the radio. I sat up to the regulated back cracking and realigning I'd gotten used to. I made my way down to the breakfast table. I remembered that Patrick was coming over to tell his story, I didn't like the idea. I wanted to strangle and kill the guy myself, but it may have more to do with the fact that he attacked me and he liked Leah more than the fact he was a vampire. I rolled my shoulder back connected to my bad arm trying to test it out, the pain was still there. I looked around the table and noticed Jasper wasn't anywhere to be seen. I heard the faint noise of a electric guitar from the basement, so low I barely could hear it with the door closed. I opened the door and saw Jasper at the bottom of the stairs playing his guitar. The song was laid back, but fast at the same time, like it didn't have to finish, it was in no hurry to, but was still a fast song, it was hard to describe.

I made my way down to him and watched in astonishment as he played with such skill I hadn't ever seen before.

"Did you write that?" Jasper laughed softly and shook his head.

"Sorry, Eric Johnson beat me to it, it's called Cliffs of Dover." He finished playing the song and I had to make sure my jaw wasn't hanging open.

"I may have made a couple mistakes, you should look up the song, maybe we could play it, it's got a pretty nice drum and bass part too." I nodded and smiled.

"You're going to sing while playing that?" Jasper laughed in response.

"That's the great thing, there are no words, weren't you the one who told me 'words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm'?" he said grinning. I shrugged then agreed with him. He unplugged his electric guitar and started putting it away, but caught an odd feeling radiating off me. He smiled then turned his back and in a blur he returned with two acoustic guitars. I shook my head in disgust, for someone who couldn't read my mind he sure picked up pretty fast. His smile turned to a frown.

"Did I get it wrong?" Jasper asked handing me my acoustic guitar. I laughed again.

"No, but you can read me better then Edward can." I said pulling my guitar in to position. Jasper smiled softly and moved his in to playing position as well.

"See there is a reason for that, your thoughts are guarded, and you keep your own deep thoughts out of your head, you're protected from Edward in that way. Your heart on the other hand, you don't guard it, you are so open with your passions, your emotions, it radiates off you. You can't help it, it's one of the things that keep me puzzled by you." I raised an eyebrow to him looking him in the eye. His eyes finally met mine before he looked down at his guitar and slid his hand up the neck and back down softly, as if reacquainting himself with it. He moved his fingers up and down the guitar as if warming up, and then stopped abruptly as he noticed I was watching him, he instantly felt bad.

"I'm sorry…" he said apologizing for who knew what, and then I realized. He felt bad for showing off. Sometimes Jasper still amazed me. My eyes dropped down to my guitar and as if at a loss I did nothing for a couple seconds. My left hand started moving feeling the calluses that had been building up since I started playing guitar over a week ago, The Cullen's claimed I was a fast learner, but as with everything else I'd become really good at I simply had so much time I had spent six or more hours a day teaching myself guitar, much less the time Jasper spent teaching me. I grabbed a pick and started strumming. I played a song, my favorite song by a band named Anberlin. I tried to sing making an attempt at the first stanza but every time my hands screwed up and I quickly got frustrated. Jasper's attention refocused quickly.

"That's Cadence, isn't it?" I nodded trying to keep playing but every distraction was throwing me off. Jaspers eyes turned to my hands then in a moment he was following the same chord progression I was. He smiled and began to sing.

"Write down, to remind yourself on how it can be, how it can be" I was slightly surprised but I kept strumming and Jasper followed me just the same, I wasn't aware he knew the song. His singing voice was so much better than mine; he almost perfectly matched the band's sound.

"Heartstrings, you're tugging at my heartstrings, now, heartstrings

"Helpless, I have become so helpless to your touch,

Oh, touch me somehow

Restless, you leave me restless

Breathless wait for me." I didn't know all the words myself I was rather surprised Jasper did. His hands moved flawlessly and his voice didn't sound strained as if this was all second nature to him.

"The closer I come to you

The closer I am to finding God

You're a miracle to me

The closer I come to you

The closer I am to finding God

You're a miracle to me." Until Jasper finished singing the chorus I wasn't aware the song had so religious backing to it, I suppose I never really stopped and listened. While listening I stumbled with my fingers as I had stopped concentrating on each note.

"Burning, like Joan of Arc to see you, just to feel you

Cadence, well I dance with the dead cause I believe

Yes I believe, yes I believe

Stifle, Paul said that you stifle him

Again and again and again"

"The closer I come to you

The closer I am to finding God

You're a miracle to me

The closer I come to you

The closer I am to finding God

You're a miracle to me."

"And if these are my parting words

Grant me this, my last request

Hold me here, until I sleep

If I burn, then I burn for you."

The words hit home for me. Double meanings cascaded through my mind as to what it meant, whether it means passion, or a desire, whether it meant pain, or dying. Thoughts spun through my mind as I stumbled on the frets. I concentrated and got back on the melody, Jasper didn't seem bugged at all by my ruining of the song. Jasper sang the chorus and we ended the song together, it reminded me of my first attempts at drum set. Besides the obvious, he overcompensated saying I was doing amazing when anyone could see I wasn't.

Patrick was going to come over and give us his story, how he became a vampire, I personally didn't give a shit. I didn't like him. He didn't need to injure me for me to hate him. He wanted to go out with my girlfriend, I knew that was terribly possessive of me but I was more or less suspicious of any guy who showed any interest, to me they were all trying to ruin my life. Deep down I knew their sole purpose wasn't to ruin my life, just a sad little speed bump of a morale lapse in their road to happiness. The gaping hole in this argument was it was up to Leah as well. _No one had forced her to go out with David._ It was this gaping hole in my logic that caused me so much fear, so much pain. There was no way to control her love, it might last forever it might have never died, just hid, I didn't understand I just couldn't think of this with Patrick coming over soon, it'd rip me apart. _A light that shines strong only lasts for so long._ Jasper had made his way up to Alice. I put my guitar lethargically I wasn't looking forward to seeing Patrick again. Leah appeared at the door upstairs. I turned away quickly to compose myself and put on a smile.

"Hey Lee." I said feigning a good mood. She looked causal but her eyes betrayed something more. She stopped in front of me confused for a moment then she reached out and hugged me pulling herself closer to me, tucking her head in to my shoulder on my left side, softly hugging me and breathing on to my the skin just above my t-shirt. I softly rocked her back and forth in my arms. I sighed quietly kissing the top of her hair and taking her smell in. it was relaxing, it was soothing, it was happiness.

"Embry, I love you… I picked you, I need you. Don't you ever forget that." I nodded and she felt that then she pulled away slightly and looked me in the eye.

"Don't ever forget that." She repeated again before leaning in and kissing me passionately. She pulled an inch away and I needed to ask.

"How'd you know?" I asked curiously.

"Edward." She answered. _Of course._ I thought to myself in retrospect I heard a knock at the door then realized who it was. Patrick was here. My body tensed next to Leah, she felt me and wrapped her arm around mine and cooed next to me forcing me to relax, I'd become much more high strung then I used to be, stresses got to me that never had before. I was angry at any guy that looked at Leah funny, they were all potential threats to me. She leaned upwards while pulling me down and kissed me softly on the cheek.

"Everything will be fine." She whispered in to my ear before detaching herself and hugging Patrick. My body turned to ice as she hugged him, I felt betrayed, hurt, dead. The blood in my veins was the only thing convincing me otherwise as Patrick looked over her shoulder and smirked at me, I barely heard a growl and turned and saw Jasper baring his teeth at Patrick, whose expression quickly changed. They released slowly as I felt my body temperature return to normal.

I knew she wasn't cheating on me, this was just a casual friend she used to have, but I couldn't change the cold feeling I had running through my body. I already didn't trust him. If I didn't distrust him enough already, I knew one slip, one moment of mindlessness and My angel, my princess Leah would be gone forever, I'd always known she didn't like that kind of affection, But deep down I wanted to call her those names, she was my everything and I couldn't live without her, so naturally anything that threatened that drove me crazy. I sat down on a couch and much to my dismay Leah sat away from me, she didn't sit near Patrick either, deep down I imagined it was so this wasn't any more painful for Patrick then it had to be, but I had different plans in mind, I was hoping to make it excruciating, I wanted him to know that Leah and I wouldn't be broken up, I wanted to cause him pain like I hadn't felt for anyone ever besides David. Maybe that was it, it was simply my reaction to having the most precious person to me being threatened away from me.

My attention turned to Jasper, whose eyes never once left me, Edward was on the other side of him with an arm around Bella watching me carefully. All the Cullen's were standing but the four wolves, including Harley were sitting on couches, Leah had decided to sit next to Harley, Jacob next to me, and at the focal point Patrick, he had a self assured presence about him that irked me to no end, maybe I was still finding every flaw with him, hating him for each and every little thing he did, I was sure I'd find everything annoying about him. Now that I was examining him I smiled in the fact that he didn't seem to like Leah's smell. It made sense, Vampire's found our smell appalling, unfortunately for me. Because of Leah's time with the Cullen's it didn't bug her nearly as much. Patrick made a smooth motion to explain that he was ready to begin his story.

"As some of you know several years ago I took an internship in a construction company in Seattle, Well we'd just landed a large contract so our boss took us to a bar and grill, since some of us were under aged. We went and a very attractive red haired woman who introduced herself as Victoria. She seemed particularly taken by me, in my gut I knew something was wrong but I went along with her anyway that night. I don't remember all of it, I just remember being bit on the neck, after the most unimaginable pain I'd ever experienced I woke up and had an unquenchable thirst. It burned my throat, she taught me out to hunt, how to control myself, and even appear normal in the world I'd been nothing but normal in." He took a brief moment as if to assess his thoughts, try to explain the next part better.

"After a while she was teaching me how to fight, that's when my abilities manifested." He pointed at a lamp in front of him and it lifted off the coffee table, then came back down again.

"She told me we were going to kill a girl named Bella." His eyes moved to Bella as she tensed. Patrick's eyes opened wider as he looked at Bella.

"Holy shit, you're Bella aren't you?" Edward wrapped an arm around Bella protecting her from him. She nodded.

"Well she said we could feed on all of Forks and La Push when we were done. I told her I wanted nothing to do with it, La Push was my home town. She tried to force me to stay, but with my abilities I was too much to control, she let me go, telling me that Bella was her only target and La Push wouldn't be touched, I left headed north and I've been traveling back and forth using Seattle as my home." He breathed out, I believed more for a theatrical value than a practical one. His story was done but apparently Edward wasn't pleased.

"So you're home town was La Push and yet, you'd let them be in danger?" Edward questioned pointedly.

"La Push wasn't in danger, Victoria said she'd leave it untouched." Rosalie let out a sharp laugh. Patrick's eyes turned to her.

"And you'd sacrifice all of Forks?" Emmett said obviously not approving. Patrick seemed to be defending himself from all the Cullens. Something I was thoroughly enjoying.

"I thirsted for blood, she was offering it to me. It took all I had within me not to jump at that opportunity." Carlisle calmed the rest of his family.

"Patrick, we're sorry but, we're going to have to ask you to leave." He nodded and turned back to the door walking at a very human pace. He turned back.

"Talk to you later, Lee." Leah much to my chagrin jumped up and ran over and captured him in a hug. My blood froze and I stood up, turned around and left the room. Jasper followed me but I shut the door behind me as I made it to my room. I locked the door and threw myself on the bed. I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't be mad at Leah for embracing an old friend could I?

Whether it was right or not I was, and for that I couldn't be mad. I was too close to everyone else. I looked out my window. I was only wearing my pants. I sighed heavily and leaped out of my room. My legs hit the ground hard. I looked over my shoulder. I saw the Cullen's but not Leah. I broke out in a dead sprint towards the woods. I sighed as I bounded and then leapt in to the air catching a branch with my hand, with the momentum I'd gained I flung myself higher in to a back flip. I caught the next branch with both my arms. I pulled my body up and stood on the sturdy branch. I crouched bending the branch and launched myself higher in to the trees. I sat and leaned against the trunk swinging my left leg off the branch. I let out a heavy sigh out. I swung my leg back and forth trying to find an excuse for me to be out here by myself. I tried to let all my feelings go without a noise but I wasn't so great at controlling my emotions. Frustration mounted inside me as I couldn't shake the discomfort. I softly hit my head against the trunk of the tree arguing with myself, why the hell couldn't I accept this? Why did she hug him? Why didn't she come next to me after she hugged him? Things like this never used to bug me, why now? Why here? _Because you were so sure she was as in love with you as you were with her. _The answer slapped me in the face. _I know she is._ I told myself, but deep down there wasn't the same confidence I'd once had. _You know you might not always be enough for her, you're afraid of that._ A chill spread threw my body. I tried to warm up but instead I lost my balance and fell from the high branch. I tried to reach for another branch but none were within reach, I put my arms out to catch my fall but that only slowed my impact and I still landed on my face. I didn't get up I didn't move I just laid with my face planted in the snow, feeling it melt around me. I felt so pathetic I didn't have the will to move, just feel the snow melt on my body.

I heard footsteps, running. I groaned softly. _I guess someone saw that, not one of my graceful moments._ My body refused to move hoping, they'd just keep walking like they hadn't seen it. As I expected that wasn't the case. I wasn't focusing on sound so when I felt warm hands on my shoulder I was surprised. They were soft, caring, they were Leah's. I got up quickly and wiped the snow off me trying to act dignified. She helped brush me off and her hands brushed my naked shoulders, her touch was lightning to my core. She watched and smiled as I shook as her hand slipped down to make soft circles on my chest. She smirked at the reaction she got from me.

"I'm glad I still have that affect on you." I scoffed at her.

"I'd get a MUCH bigger reaction from you if I did that to you." She gasped slightly then slapped me across the face softly. I turned but didn't turn back. I just stayed there. I slowly turned back to face her. Her eyes caught mine and pierced in to my mind with those strong willed eyes. It was those same brown eyes that captivated my very being. They saw through all the bullshit to who a person really was, I'd always admired that about her, but now that I was trying to give bullshit it wasn't too great.

"Embry what's wrong you're off and I can tell." Leah said crossing her arms across her chest, I tried to focus on her face and not how her arms were placed, successfully my attention stayed at her eyes, however I was unsuccessful in fooling her.

"It's nothing just don't worry about it." I turned back away hoping once for a change she wouldn't catch it. Of course it was vain.

"What is it? Is it about Patrick?" I nodded regrettably. She waited expecting me to answer her. I stood and said nothing, this wasn't something I wanted to talk about, much less fight about it, she wouldn't have it though, there was no avoiding this one. I sighed softly.

"I'm uncomfortable with Patrick" she nodded.

"I suppose I'd be uncomfortable with any guy, but him it's even worse I see you hug him and my blood runs cold, my body shuts down and pain shoots through me, it's one of the worst things I've ever experienced." She nodded.

"Well regardless I'm going to hug him if I want to, he's an old friend of mine." She said offhanded. I expected this, she'd always been stubborn. It was one of her endearing traits, and one of her frustrating ones.

"Leah, he's dangerous-" I began to say before she cut me off.

"Don't even try to use that excuse, it has nothing to do with why you don't want me to see him." I rolled my eyes, though she was right I was going to finish what I started saying.

"You saw his eyes, he drinks human blood, he's not nearly as stable as the Cullens are." She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"That has nothing to do with why you don't want me to see him, touch him or be near him." I sighed and nodded quickly.

"No it doesn't. If you don't know by now the reason why I don't want you around him is he wants to go out with you." Leah looked me in the eye weird.

"You were never like this before." I looked away painfully then looked her in the eye.

"I was enough for you before…" I said looking away. Leah's face contorted for a moment.

"So you're just going to use this Dave thing every time you don't agree with what I'm doing?" I tensed at his name, and at the implications of what she just said.

"You know what, just leave me alone I need some time to think." She said walking away. As I watched her walk away I let my body go with my will to stand, falling face first in to the snow. I didn't move I didn't do anything I just let myself drift off to sleep in the winter's afternoon.

**Sorry that took so long to update, it's my first from my laptop, so the spacing might be f'ed (I hate Word 2008) I'm going to say review and everyone is going to give me thought provoking reviews okay? Good, As always knucks, high fives, "the nod", rolls of twenty dollar bills and ideas are always welcome. REVIEW.**


	37. New Year's Eve

**Disclaimer: Hey peeps I'm still not Stephenie Meyer… hmm… yeah I got nothing.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: HEEEEEEY! BAAAAAABY!!!!! I WANT TO KNOWWWWW!!!!! IF YOU'LL BE MY GIRL!**

**Embry's POV**

"Has someone taken your faith?

It's real, the pain you feel

The life, the love

You die to heal

The hope that starts

The broken hearts

You trust, you must

Confess.

Is someone taking the best…" I slap the clock radio off. Thinking about it logically I shouldn't be taking my anger and anguish out on it, all it did was play music when I woke up, today was new years eve. All the clichés of New Years annoyed me. The idea that people used one day to say they'll change who they are was laughable to me. No one changed because a new year was in progress, it was because they didn't have an excuse to do what they should have before. People would say they're going to change their lives, then give up by March, if not February. New years eve was over hyped. I'd never done anything on it. Most times past I'd spent it with Jacob and Quil, One year I was at a La Push party. I got to watch Leah and Sam kiss at midnight, I was jealous, when the party came around next year I stayed home by myself, Jacob and Quil never knew why, funny how that happened. Hopefully today Patrick would actually leave, I didn't like him In Minnesota. I heard a knock on my door but no one came in. I called for them to come in. Harley turned the corner. Arm was almost healed but not quite yet, he'd taken the down time to stay with the Cullen's and foster a trusting relationship so there weren't any more battles between us, he like myself didn't like Patrick at all.

"If he doesn't leave we'll need to take action, and I mean my whole pack." I nodded in agreement. We didn't need to say his name to know who we were referring to.

"If you do, I'll join you." I affirmed. He leaned further in to the room.

"He's here now, saying his goodbyes to Leah." My body tightened at response to them together, he obviously saw it but ignored it anyway. I sighed softly then jumped to my feet running down stairs with Harley behind me. Patrick was at the door and he was speaking with Carlisle.

"I have nothing against you personally but you can't take up residency here or anywhere if you're going to feed on humans. This state is under protection, and we're not going to kill innocent people for you to preserve your life style, I'm sorry but you've made something of a problem here." Harley tensed when he saw Patrick. Patrick's eyes were immediately drawn to Harley.

"Really, these protectors…" he said fading off as if thinking.

"And more so, I might be inclined to join them, because you'd be endangering our lifestyle. If you decide to not hunt humans we can talk but I'll need to ask you to leave." Patrick started turning to leave but Carlisle stopped him.

"I'd stay away from La Push, it's not safe for you anymore." Patrick's eyes turned to me for a moment and I felt a shared dislike for me. I couldn't read his eyes very well but at the very least he wasn't happy I was around. His eyes turned to Carlisle and silently acknowledged his words. Leah came running through the halls and hugged Patrick.

"I'll miss you Pat." He smirked looked at her.

"Hey don't worry Lee, We can keep talking, I'll come visit some time." His eyes turned back to me and they weren't the pain in the ass look he once had, but something different, I couldn't put my place what it was though. I turned and walked away, walked down stairs, I had a particular song I wanted to play, it was a band that Jasper introduced me to because some of their music could bring him up when he was feeling down, not the song I was thinking of. Rosalie was sitting on the drum set. Honestly she might be better than me by now, I wouldn't know how to judge who was better.

"Jasper, Emmett want to join us? Actually the song I want to play is Five Iron Frenzy so if Carlisle could come down and play trumpet that'd be nice too." I asked at only slightly over a normal talking voice. Emmett was the first one down stairs followed closely by Jasper. Carlisle made his way down smiling.

"I suppose I have time for one song before I go to the hospital for the day." Carlisle came downstairs with a laptop.

"What song is it, I'd like to find the part before playing it." I grinned.

"Isn't it obvious? New Years Eve." Carlisle was on his laptop looking at music, the Cullen's abilities to memorize nearly anything was amazing to me. I looked up to the drum set where Rosalie also was on a computer looking at music.

"Hey Embry, I got this song, mind if I drum?" I shrugged, I guess that left me singing. My largest concern was that I don't have the vocal range that Reese Rooper has. I took the microphone at the front of the room, this had turned in to a mostly Cullen event, everyone who lived here was down now besides Leah, even Harley had came down to see what was going on. Rosalie on drum set started the sound quickly joined by Carlisle on trumpet. I grabbed the mic and pulled it to my face, someone thought it should be recorded. I didn't know who, but it was definitely recording right now.

"It's New Years Eve and I'm full of empty promises

I half pretend to keep this time just like last year.

The band is loud and I'm wandering the shadows

Wishing I was never here. I persevere

A crowded room

These whitewashed tombs

They raise their glasses high

They kiss the past goodbye."

"This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow

My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe,

This New Years Eve, will turn out better than before

I'm holding on, still holding on until they close the door… on me." I took a short moment between the Chorus and the verse to think of its meaning to me. This song had meaning, all songs I sang did.

"It's New Years Eve, and I feel my insecurities

Are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand.

And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration

A second passes by, yet nothing changes!" I sing meaningfully before continuing the verse.

"I hate my skin, this grave I'm standing in.

Another change of years, and I wish I wasn't here!" I concentrate on the song as I go back to the chorus.

"This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow

My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe,

This New Years Eve, will turn out better than before

I'm holding on, still holding on until they close the door… on me." I bring my voice down remembering the soft part of this song, I'd never realize how hard it was to actually sing with a group.

"A year goes by and I'm staring at my watch again

And I dig deep this time, for something

Greater than I've ever been, life to ancient wineskins.

And I was blind, but now I see."

"This new Years Eve, something must change me inside,

I'm crooked and misguided. And tired of being tired!" I yelled finally

"This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow

My heart is on my sleeve,

And yes I still believe, in you…

in you..." I sigh softly as I feel my energy drain from my body. To me it was as if the song, feeling monotonous drew on me heavily. I was tired of going through the motions, I wanted to tell Leah how I felt about her but she knew anyway. The Cullen's all disappeared to their own hobbies. I pulled out my acoustic guitar and started strumming a song that I'd heard. I'd only learned the Chorus so far so I took and attempt at singing a small part of it.

"If we've only got one life…

If we've only got one try…

If time was never on our side.

Then before I die I want to burn out bright." I stopped strumming and exhaled slowly I looked up. My vision followed slowly up the stairs and to a pair of legs. They were Leah's, they were all I could see of her was her legs. I stood up and put my guitar away turning back to her. She had now made her way down the stairs and looked me in the eye. She was a couple stairs up still so she was eye to eye with me. I made attempts to speak. I stuttered , I stammered, I wanted to say anything, but I couldn't. she breathed out softly, I inhaled her scent taking in the calm before the storm. As seconds questions spun through my mind, could I love the person I feared most? Was it logical to give someone your entire being and trust them not to hurt you? Truly it wasn't logical, it was just what love was. It was the essence of love. It was to give everything to someone and trust them with all of you, and get the same in return. _The only aspect of your life you need to control you can't._ I thought to myself. Leah grabbed my head and shook me softly.

"Hey Embry, you there?" she said after shaking me. I nodded in her hands. Her deep brown eyes pierced me. She closed her eyes softly and sighed again.

"Embry I just need some time to think, just give me a little time." I nodded. she turned and made her way up the stairs and walked away. I could feel in the pit of my stomach a pain an emptiness that wasn't there before… like something that was gone right now that I'd lost somehow all I could do now is.

**I'm sorry how abruptly it ended, but something that shook me to the core just occurred and I needed to change the end of the chapter, they were going to work it out but I couldn't because I couldn't put my heart in it. Like I said something happened that shook me to the core… since this is public I'm not going to get in to it. If this event doesn't change… doesn't get fixed, it will definitely change the direction of my story, I have a direction to go with my story, but now I might need to go completely differently… I'm sorry again for how this went, I want to write because writing is a passion i have, however emotionally I can't, until i can finish this story I can't continue writing. I hope to back sooner rather then later, but I don't know if i will be able to, once again I'm sorry, TDFireproof  
**


	38. Author's note

***authors note* sorry…**

**Like I said in the last chapter I'm taking a break from writing this story… personal conflicts all that bull shit. I'm writing something else that is directly connected to this story. Look it up its called "What fate took from Embry" it's one of my stories and I hope you read it and give me your opinion. I'm really sorry I'm not writing this story anymore because I love it but right now I can't in this state I'm in…**


	39. Don't Wake me

**Disclaimer: "I'm not the King, I just sing" and I'm not the Stephenie Meyer, I'm just some poor kid with Microsoft Word.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Yes I'm the one who, the only one who, would carry on this… far. ~Torn by Creed**

**Don't get excited yet, this is just one chapter… to let you all know I'm still around and writing… I wasn't going to make another Author's note over my last authors note… kind of a bitch move. I'm almost done with my other story… or rather I'm in the process of wrapping it up. I'm very sorry for the very long break I took just a bit longer, or for fuck sake if enough of you come back to reviewing (don't reviewers die if you leave them without reading material for 4 months?) I might just pick up this piece beside my other piece, lots of writing, but guess what I stopped doing other hobbies so I might have more time… Why the sudden need to update? Well I was thinking about it but it was Lil' Dinky updating that pushed me over the edge. Don't know why… don't know how… I'm just like 'dog gamn it! I'm updating'**

**Embry's POV**

I watched her walk away. I watched her walk up the stairs and out of my life. At least temporarily. She was gone… and I couldn't have done anything better, couldn't have done anything worse. I did nothing wrong and yet she was still gone. I don't know how long I waited at her to come back down the stairs, hoping for a 'just kidding' or an 'I love you Embry' but she didn't come back. But that was yesterday, today was a new day full of new opportunities to do nothing. New opportunities to see how much life sucked. I tried not to think because thinking pissed me off. Every time I thought critically at why I was mad it made me mad to know I had no good reason to be mad. Jasper had stayed close making it his personal mission to keep me happy, even if it was fake happy but I stopped him. I just didn't want them to worry about me. In the end of the day the only person I really wanted to worry about me didn't care… or maybe she did but she had a fickle way of disappearing. School was more grating than usual, which I didn't think possible.

I was still trying to learn about this Mike Iverson kid, I suppose it was odd for me to be observing another person but it was the only thing that I felt the need to pay attention to. Everything he did it seemed like he was always watching his back. It was all a guise. Every now and then he slipped up and he was kind of strange, kind of funny, kind of goofy. It was all good but it seemed like he had to hide who he was at school. It didn't take long for me to figure out why. He was constantly ridiculed in school he was treated like shit, but not enough to get people in trouble just enough to the point that I wanted to hurt some people. What I didn't understand though was through all of it he kept a small piece of him. He was protective. It reminded me of myself. Almost without reason he'd stand up for people whom he didn't even call friend. I'd asked Edward about it and he smirked. It was he hated being the kid picked on, he couldn't stand around when someone else got hurt. _Superhero complex. _I thought to myself. It was how he held himself that made him stand out to me. That and the fact that he had a cocky smirk when he drummed the way he looked me in the eye and knew I was watching him, the way he knew he was better too. It was that sense of confidence I noticed because he only exuded it when he drummed.

You could almost say I obsessed over him, found him interesting anything was better than thinking of Leah all day. People told me to hold on to hope. Why? Why hope there was no good reason to hope. Hope was a fallacy, a lunacy, a joke. Where did hope get you? Where I was now, Cold and cynical. You can only hold on to hope so long before getting kicked back to the ground repeatedly. I never said that. I never let on to how much I really hurt but it was impossible to hide it with Jasper around. That's why I did my level best to stay the fuck away from him, this made him feel like shit too. After school I had came straight home and shut off the lights, turned on some soft music and hoped the music could distract me from how angry I was. I was fading in and out of a bliss every now and then slipping in to thinking about her. Every time I thought of her my stomach moved uncomfortably. It was that same uncontrollable feeling, I have power, I have control of my destiny, but no matter how strong I am I can't force her… I can't make her want me, this is the harshest reality I come to grips with right now.

I didn't want to do nothing, I simply wanted to do anything else less. It was this darkness this lack of motivation that drove me. Drove me to sit in this restless pit of nothingness. It was odd to think now that life would just continue for everyone else like nothing was wrong, like everything was okay, and how many other people felt this same pain, this same torture I feel now and yet I moved on with my day regardless of their pain because I had her. I felt guilty for ever feeling good. I laughed at myself, and people wonder why I don't want to think. I'm a natural pessimist, realist, fatalist. I forced the negative thoughts out of my head.

I locked the door to my room because I didn't want anyone to interfere. Obviously it wasn't an effective defensive measure being that everyone in the house could rip the door off its hinges. I wanted to be left alone. I left the window wide open because I needed the fresh air.

I forced myself to stop being negative. She did say just give her some time. It didn't mean anything. I always expected the worst hoped for the best. That dirty word had snuck back in to my head, _hope._ Like a venom it spread through my body giving a slight surge of happiness. It touched each part of my body from my body igniting me before I could extinguish the rogue emotion.

I heard a knock on the door and then a muffled call "Edward" I got up slowly and opened it for him. He made no attempt to turn the light on, he just walked in skillfully and sat down on a chair in the opposite side of the room as the bed. Neither of us said anything for a moment. It wasn't that I didn't like Edward, I just was never as comfortable with him as I was with any other Cullen.

"You know she loves you." I rolled my eyes taking advantage of the dark, forgetting for a moment he could read my mind.

"Whatever, what's it mean."

"I read her mind as she left… she didn't want to… she just needed some time to herself." I snorted.

"By to herself you mean with Patrick right?" I retorted.

"No, by herself she's not spending the day with him, she's thinking she wants to be with you but wanted to get this cleared out of the way first." He responded.

"Huh, so you heard all of that?" I asked skeptically.

"No, inferred some of it." He replied honestly. I nodded. I felt like I had just gotten her back and now she was gone again. I stopped myself, slightly ashamed, Now I thought of her as some prize, some cut of meat but really it was never that simple. I never saw her that way, and deep down I felt like she betrayed me when she left me. I felt like she was mine, not in a possessive way but in commitment way. I tried to feel, explain everything in my head but the more time I spent thinking the more time I was negative.

"You think too much." Edward chucked. _Fuck you. _I thought to myself knowing he could hear it. he laughed quietly again. I didn't know if I believed him, I didn't know if I wanted to. _No, I want to believe him, I just don't want him to be wrong._ I didn't want or need his commentary on my thoughts anymore. He disappeared as quickly as he appeared locking the door behind him. I was thankful for that.

I reached for my guitar case through the dark unlatching it and pulling it out grabbing a pick like I'd done so often, now without the guidance of light. My fingers slid up and down the familiar neck of the guitar softly hitting the frets as I went. Then I started strumming. A pattern to a song. Something about singing in the dark was comforting, even if the song wasn't.

"I went to bed I was thinking about you  
Ain't the same since I'm living without you  
All the memories are getting colder  
All the things that I wanna do over

Went to bed I was thinking about you  
I wanna talk and laugh like we used to  
When I see you in my dreams at night  
It's so real but it's in my mind

And now  
I guess  
This is as good as it gets" I sang feeling my eyes getting warm

"Don't wake me  
'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream  
Don't wake me  
'Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough  
When it's you I'm dreaming of  
I don't wanna wake up." I sang trying to hold on to my composure

"I went to bed I was thinking about you  
And how it felt when I finally found you  
It's like a movie playing over in my head  
Don't wanna look 'cause i know how it ends" I sang feeling the powerful words.  
"All the words that I said that I wouldn't say  
All the promises I made that I wouldn't break  
It's last call, last song, last dance  
'Cause I can't get you back, can't get a second chance" feeling tears for the first time.

"And now, I guess  
This is as good as it gets

Don't wake me  
'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream  
Don't wake me  
'Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough  
When it's you I'm dreaming of  
I don't wanna wake up

Don't wake me  
We're together just you and me  
Don't wake me  
'Cause we're happy like we used to be  
I know I've gotta let you go  
But don't wake me." I sang struggling to keep my breathing even.

"These dreams of you keep on growing stronger  
It ain't a lot but it's all I have  
Nothing to do but keep sleeping longer  
Don't wanna stop cause I want you back

Don't wake me  
'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream  
Don't wake me  
'Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough  
When it's you I'm dreaming of  
I don't wanna wake up

Don't wake me  
We're together just you and me  
Don't wake me  
'Cause we're happy like we used to be  
I know I've gotta let you go  
But don't wake me" I sang feeling the tears like ice down my burning face.

"I went to bed I was thinking about you  
Ain't the same since I'm living without you  
I know I gotta let you go…  
But I don't want to wake up." I sang finishing the song. I tried to stop myself from the heaving tears I knew would be coming but I couldn't. Finally I released the bit of control I had and felt heaving of tears. It was all I could do hold off that long and now… now I was a blubbering mess of tears. Heave after heave of cold tears running down my face, I didn't even bother to wipe them off… what was the point? I heard a sound outside and forced myself to stop crying for a moment. A couple bounds then the sound of a thud against the side of the house and then I saw the silhouette of someone climbing in to my room, female. I stifled my tears trying to hide them. I knew who it was immediately. Her scent took me over, but more than that I'd memorized her very outline, the way she moved, the gestures she made. It was Leah.

"Hey… I used the window cause I didn't want to have to ask to come in." I laughed slightly trying to hide the tears. She could sense them.

"I know your breathing Embry… I can tell you were crying… you don't need to hide it from me." She knew me so implicitly she knew how I breathed, how I sounded. And I knew her… The soft sound of her breathing was my favorite lullaby.

This was awkward she knew I was crying she was right there and more than anything I wanted to grab her and take her kiss her passionately claim her, keep her… anything to hold on to her, I wanted to throw her out the window with me and do plenty of things I didn't want Edward reading out of my head right now.

She approached me confidently across the room and sat on the bed looking me in the eye. Our eyes were adjusting to the darkness and I could make out the figure and form of her face. It looked sad. I reached up to wipe my tears away but her hand caught my wrist restraining it. Our eyes locked in the darkness the only light being from moon giving a slight ray in to the room. Her eyes looked weak as well. Like they were about to cry, then she reached up and softly rubbed away my tears with her right hand on my left side, then my right side. When her hand was finished cleaning my face it wrapped around the back of my head slowly pulling our heads together. My hands naturally slid their way under her arms and around her back.

I inhaled her scent as if it was the last time I would, our noses now only an inch away from each other. I didn't want to push the last couple inches closer to the kiss but as soon as she moved closer I couldn't stop myself. It was soft and slow, but not tentative in any way. It was soft, smooth, passionate, and sexy. She lingered for a moment after the kiss then smiled before kissing me again. my hand wrapped gently behind her ear holding her beautiful hair. I ran my fingers gently through her hair as our kiss continued and she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me further in to the kiss. Our kiss turned in to a competition each one of us trying to gain control but neither of us could. We slipped our lips away from contact only to catch breath for a moment, our noses still slid against the other. She wore a slightly unknowing smile, then it became confident, then a soft laugh.

"That wasn't what I was originally planning." She said still smiling.

"I didn't mind." I said grinning from ear to ear. She swung her arm back to take a swing and me but stopped herself.

"My original plan had a bit more talking and a bit less sucking on your face." She said rolling her eyes.

"Like I stated before I didn't mind." I said. She gave me a dirty look and I turned away quickly to avoid it. I turned back to her looking in to her beautiful brown eyes. I ran my fingers across her forehead and down her temple rubbing the side of her face.

"You're my… brown eyed Wolf-Girl." She smiled then punched me in the arm.

"You really know how to woo a girl don't you?" I laughed in response. She looked me and I leaned forward and gently kissed her on the lips and pulled back a couple inches.

"I love you Leah… I love you with all my heart." She smiled kissing me softly again and pulling away far enough to look me in the eye.

"Embry, I love you not for who you are, but who I am when I'm with you."

**Yeah I'm back… not permanently but I wanted to write something to keep those still around reading. Sorry for the big break once I finish What fate took from Embry I'll return to this. For those wondering, everything isn't resolved, in fact life is still at one of those times where I just want to "throw your middle finger up in the air, come on and say fuck you" I wrote the first 1000 words from my heart, then just wrote the rest of the chapter how I needed to. I wanted to write the song in to one of my stories and this made the best fit. Sorry for the long wait, and it will be a wait again, I hope people continue to read and review my stories because reviews make the world go round… and I suppose if there is enough outcry for this story I'll come back sooner rather than later. Well "keep your stick on the ice" Thank you for the reviewers who come back to my story, thank you for the reviewers who never left, thank you for your ideas, thank you for your input. As usual high fives, knucks, and rolls of twenty dollar bills in the review section, along with ideas and miscellaneous love letters.**


	40. Nightmare

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm back, and I'm still not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Disclaimer Deuce: Believe me, I'm just as lost as you.**

Embry's POV

"Hey, ya want to come work on this project with me." I asked Leah. She seemed hesitant. She seemed distant.

"I don't really feel like it." she said not completely paying attention to me. I didn't understand why but I pushed it to the back of my mind. She made her way to a building and started talking with someone.

"Hey Leah, I really need your help with this." I said after following her. She nodded then turned back to the guy she was talking to and kissed him on the lips.

"Okay fine, whatever Embry, let's go." She said nonchalantly. Pain shot through my body. Emotionally. _No! This is a nightmare, wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP! _I yelled at myself and then my eyes shot open.

"It was just a dream." I told myself still feeling the horrible emotional pain ripping through my body. My breathing wasn't even. _It was just a dream, calm down._ I told myself repeatedly. Even though everything was telling me it wasn't real I couldn't shake the terrible pain now residing in my stomach. I clenched my fists, I couldn't sit still. I opened my window and without a second thought jumped out. I landed hard on me feet, making a loud thud. I was in basketball shorts. To anyone else this would be freezing, anyone normal at least. I often found irony on how I was physically tough emotionally weak. I needed to run, I needed to move, I needed to do something. I ran, no destination, just north.

**Leah's POV**

I couldn't bring myself to sleep or get up. I was in my t shirt and shorts from yesterday, I just kind of lazily fell asleep. I heard a loud thudding noise. I shot up a bit too quickly, _why am I so curious?_ _Because, Vampire's are light footed, and so is Embry… usually._ I ran up the stairs quickly then ran to the kitchen for the window I could see where the sound came from. I saw Embry's back. He didn't seem right. He wouldn't usually land like that, and his posture… he wasn't confident, wasn't okay. Something was up. I started out to him but he sprinted away. I opened the door to follow him and Edward was at my side.

"Just leave him be. He needs to sort this out himself." Edward said. He knew what was wrong I could see it in his eyes, but he wouldn't tell me.

"Whatever, I'm going" I said rolling my eyes at him and following Embry out of the back door.

**Embry's POV**

I just ran. I pressed myself for miles and miles, and when my body started to give out I phased and ran faster. I kept running my shorts now tied around my ankle. I ran and ran. Belatedly I realized I recognized the landscape. I realized where I was and pushed my body faster, I didn't want to be stopped. I phased back in to my human form to run through an open field then as I got back to the trees I saw a form land ten feet in front of me in the shade of the trees.

"It's been a while since you've been up here… what brings 'The' big bad wolf himself up here?" He snickered at me. I was too emotionally drained to deal with him. I walked straight up to him an swung a horrible haymaker at him, he easily ducked out of the way and punched me in the stomach, then in fully swung hooking punch across my face. I staggered back for a moment then came back.

"Wow you hit like a girl David, scratch that, Leah hits harder than you." I said taunting him.

**Leah's POV**

Embry rolled back on his haunches for a second head turned away, out of the corner of his face I could see a smirk on his face before he turned back.

"Wow you hit like a girl David, scratch that, Leah hits harder than you." Embry said. I stifled a laugh. I moved to get a closer look, I moved silently until I could see both of them clearly. Embry threw a kick Dave easily blocked way and connected with a punch to his chest, then across his jaw. Embry staggered back again.

'I've been practicing, but something's wrong, you're not this bad of a fighter." Dave taunted Embry. Embry responded with a low grumble He spun and flung his leg with a log kick, Dave easily ducked under it. He swept Embry's leg and Embry fell hard on to his back, Dave immediately stepped up over him and threw a punch landing on Embry's cheek.

I took a step to stop it but a warm hand grabbed my shoulder. I looked back to see Harley. I was surprised he was able to sneak up on me, maybe I was still tired, maybe I was too focused on what was going on, or maybe he was just that good. Dave laughed over Embry.

"It's about Leah, isn't it?" he laughed. Embry quickly tried to strike him but he dodged it.

"I'll take that as a yes… ahh come on… trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up!" Embry yelled before gripping the back of Dave's head and throwing his head for a head butt. Dave blocked it with his arms. Embry reached for Dave's throat and gripped it tightly. Dave started to pull away and then started to stand. Embry grabbed his shirt pulling him up to his feet. Embry's grip on Dave's throat tightened until Dave wasn't standing up straight, he was clasping Embry's arm to try and make him let go. I saw Dave's color return to his face as Embry released the grip, and in a split second Dave's legs were level with his chest in the air. Embry struck Dave open palm on the chest, driving him to the ground. Dave lifted his head back up at an attempt to get back up but Embry drove his chest back in to the ground.

"Yes it's about her… I dreamed it was her with someone else, I watched her kiss someone else." Dave started to laugh as he got up to his elbows again, only to get the same palm strike to his chest driving him back to the ground. He coughed in pain seeing the same response.

"So what? Big deal?" Dave said nonchalantly.

"It is to me… I can't go back to how I was… I'm not the same kind of strong you are… I can't tell her I want what makes her happy. It's selfish I know but, damn it, I want what makes me happy." I was surprised by his words. I didn't expect him to admit weakness to Dave. Dave laughed and coughed from the pressure Embry put on his chest.

"You think it was easy? You think it was easy to say 'I just want you to be happy?' No, of course it wasn't, But I knew I'd lost her and I wasn't getting her back so I let go." He grinned evilly at Embry.

"But looking at you now… I don't think you can."

"I won't need to she won't leave again." Embry said. Dave laughed.

"Do you even believe that?" Dave asked. Embry stood up straight looking down on Dave, and then he took a deep breath. His eyes shot immediately towards my direction. It was impossible that he saw me I was still in the dark.

"Leah…" he said quietly. He didn't look in to my eyes. I soon realized he didn't see me, he smelt me." He knew I saw everything. He walked towards me without fear. It wasn't like him. He wasn't afraid of conflict but he didn't like it. He wasn't walking straight towards me but in my direction, until he could see me and changed his course. His eyes wore a slightly ashamed look. He walked next to me slowly but never once looked up. This was horribly awkward. I couldn't walk this slow and normally neither could he, in fact usually it was everything I could do to keep up with him when we were walking.

Finally the tension got to me and I wrapped my arm around his and stopped him softly. He turned to me fearing the confrontation to come. I softly slide my hands up either of his arms locking them behind his neck looking him in the eye. His hands moved, warily to my back and embraced me softly. I pulled myself to him and laid my head on his chest and shoulder. My grip tightened and pulled him closer, if that was even possible.

"I'm sorry." I said softly in to him.

"It wasn't your fault. It was my nightmare." He said softly. I lifted my head to look at him but he wasn't looking me in the eye. _It was my fault. This wouldn't be happening if I didn't leave._ I slowly reached up to him pulling myself up to his face placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Come on hun, let's go home."

**Embry's POV**

I tried to pay attention in class the next day, he was an interesting teacher but none the less, the events of yesterday still were stuck in my head. I followed Mike Iverson with my eyes, watching him. He was different. It wasn't that he was that much different, just slightly. Thinking back now there were others like him at my old school but I didn't notice such fine detail. I wasn't nearly as observant, and watching him gave me something to do. A game I suppose. At first glance you wouldn't realize he was very observant himself. You'd think distracted, always looking out the door, out the window, but not focusing. Edward told me Mike saw inconsistencies. I heard two of the guys in the back snickering about a comment about Mike. He turned around and said something quietly back at them, he did this often, I never caught what he was saying because he was on the other side of the room.

I watched Mike as he had a verbal argument with three people. I watched his fist clench then release slowly. He went back to tapping his feet, unconsciously. I clenched my own fist, I hated watching bullies. _Maybe if I just beat one or two of them up after school it'll send a message._ My phone buzzed in my pocket, I opened it. It was a text from Edward.

"Don't even think about Emb." I silently cursed Edward from two classrooms over. The bell finally rang and I stood up putting myself between Mike and the two bullies in the back. Once I got out of the classroom Edward and Bella.

"You know the rules, we can't interfere. Don't get too close to any humans, we're just going to leave them behind." Edward said without emotion. I eyed Bella and smirked.

"Yeah I see how that worked out for you." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Seriously… don't interfere with the affairs of… them." He said very quietly. There wouldn't be arguing about this. Rosalie and Emmett joined us, their class was on the other side of the wall the class room I was in. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Embry is getting all emotional? Ahh come on, people are bullied people are bullies, we can't be super heroes here, and even if we were it wouldn't change anything." Rosalie said cynically. I wanted to snarl but stopped myself. Really she was right I just didn't want accept it. I didn't like watching things go wrong.

"Come on, let's go home." Jacob said at my side. I nodded, thinking about Leah. Immediately I too wanted to go back, yet there still was a nagging feeling about Mike. I didn't want to sit by and do nothing.

"He doesn't need to be rescued; he's definitely not a damsel in distress." Edward said responding to my thoughts. I climbed in to Jasper's car with half the Cullens. Jasper looked at me in the rearview mirror.

"If it'd make you feel better I can do something." I made a noise showing my disapproval.

"I'm not talking bodily harm… maybe just you know taking some spark plugs out of their cars… maybe a radiator… or the whole engine… nothing serious." Emmett laughed next to me.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Emmett applauded.

"Our secrecy is our most important job, it's our one rule, have you all forgotten that? You'd risk all that for a human?" Rosalie snarled.

"We are humans too." I said referring to Jacob and I. I felt the tension disappear with a strong calming wave.

"I know we can't do anything, I'm sorry for bringing it up. Rosalie is right, it is the way of the world, there are bullies there are victims." Jasper said coldly.

"I don't understand that though, everything about Mike doesn't say victim to me, sure he's a bit self conscious and lacks confidence but he doesn't seem like the type of guy who'd take it lying down."

"He isn't." Alice said quickly.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Edward told me. He's one fight away from expulsion. Everyone knows it. So they push his buttons knowing he can't defend himself." I clenched my fist angrily.

"I can't just sit and do nothing." I said finally.

"Well that's exactly what you're going to do. Besides that it's none of our business to meddle in his affairs." Rosalie said sternly. I knew she was right but it would drive me up a wall none the less. When we made to back to the house Leah was waiting for me I smiled and made my way up to her.

"How was school dear?" She said in a mocking tone, I laughed.

"Oh just fine shnuckums." I said returning the setiment.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Jacob groaned.

Rosalie's POV

I stared blankly as the wall behind Mr. C waiting for this class to be over. He was all the way in to his talk about how sociology is just sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I rolled my eyes. I heard my name mentioned in the next room.

"Yeah, that hot bitch Rosalie, damn I'd do her in a heartbeat." Emmett smiled at next to me hearing the same thing.

"Yeah right. You'd never get anywhere near her." I heard someone mutter. I couldn't make out who it is.

"Did I invite you in to this conversation? And you think you could Ivy?" the first voice said taunting him. a second one laughed with them. _Ivy? There isn't any Ivy's in CHS._ I thought to myself.

"I'm not saying I would…"

"You're so fucking ugly and fat, give me a break, she probably can't even standing close to you." Another one taunted.

"Yeah no shit, come on your clothes too? Do you wear anything besides jean shorts? You ugly fuck." The second one responded.

"Shut up dumbasses." The voice said louder. I stopped for a moment recognizing it.

"Oh, that one sting Ivy?" One of the three goaded.

"You're dumb too, you couldn't ever keep up with those Cullens. They are all like frickin' nerds or something, you couldn't even hold a conversation with them." The first said.

"At least I don't cheat on tests, and assignments… and everything." Mike said defending himself. I knew it was him now I recognized the voice.

"It's only cheating if you get caught. Besides, when we graduate I'm going to have a 3.2 and what will you have? 2.5? What?" One said laughing again.

"It won't be that low." Mike said defending himself weakly. _Stupid kid, why the hell did he have to get in to their business? And just to try and defend me? What the hell is that dumbass thinking?_ I grumbled to myself.

"Hey don't be hard on Ivy." One mocked.

"He does his line about honesty because he has no friends to cheat off of!" Mike made a sound but didn't respond. _Pathetic he won't even stand up for himself._ I thought to myself.

"He didn't say anything because he knows we're right." They laughed between themselves. The bell rang. I made my way out of the classroom just in time to see Mike walking out the door quickly fists clenched in anger.

_It didn't make sense, I haven't been nice to him, heck I haven't even acknowledged him. Why the hell did he have to stick up for me? _I was more frustrated then I should be. I made my way to the rest of the family near the exit.

"Seriously… don't interfere with the affairs of… them." Edward whispered.

"Embry is getting all emotional? Ahh come on, people are bullied people are bullies, we can't be super heroes here, and even if we were it wouldn't change anything." I berated, but still I wondered. I couldn't shake the feeling. The nagging question that kept getting me confused. _Why did he stand up for me?_

**Yes folks, I'm finally back. I was writing this chapter for a while but I really couldn't get it going, until I got to Rosalie's POV I kind of hated the whole chapter. But I can't think a better way to get through this chapter, I wanted to put this nightmare at the beginning of the chapter, besides that I had no idea what I wanted to do. So yes I'm back to First day without a sun, on a "full" time basis… as full time as I go… but instead of full time I'll occasionally update my other story, "The Vulturi army arises." So yes… not full time at all. Ahh wellz. Remember Reviews are what make the world go round… actually it's gravity but ehh. Remember, reviews, high fives, knucks, rolls of twenty dollar bills are great for your favorite author… some for me would be nice too! Catch you on the flip side, TD**


	41. Lonely Nation

**Disclaimer: ****Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! AND I'm not Stephenie Meyer  
**

**Disclaimer Deuce:**** Remember those words... this isn't the only time they'll appear in my story.**

**Embry's POV**

"Whatever Embry, just go to school already, I don't want to talk about it." Leah said angrily. I didn't want to go to school when we were fighting, it always messed up my day but for the last month it'd been like this. A couple times a week she'd be in a bad mood about something and when I tried to talk to her she'd snap at me, I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I did anything but apparently she thought I did. I didn't know anymore.

"I don't want to go to school like this, it ruins my day if we don't fix this, can we at least talk about it?" I pleaded.

"No, now just go, I don't want to talk about it give me some space!" I didn't know how I was supposed to respond to it but I knew I wanted to fix it. I didn't have a choice though, Leah was in a bad mood, it'd been one of those days, and by days I meant months. Jasper's cold hand pushed up against my shoulder.

"Come on, let's go." He said pulling me away from Leah towards the car. I followed eventually, reluctantly. I climbed in to Jasper's car and before anyone else came to the car he floored it. I stared down at the dashboard seeing the time.

"What the hell? We're going to be forty minutes early." Jasper shook his head as he ripped out of the driveway.

"Not early enough." He said quietly.

"No good would come of the next twenty minutes of fighting. She'll just push you away." He was driving faster than usual, 90 in the 60 just outside our house. I looked down at his arms then up them to his eyes, his body was tense, his eyes pitch black.

"Jasper, you need to feed, go hunting I'll go to school." I said quickly.

"Bull shit, once we get there I'll go." I tried to argue but quickly saw there was no arguing with him. I thought back to this morning's events then I tried to think of anything else. It was obviously impossible. I stepped out of the car and Jasper drove off. I stepped in the front door of school and immediately felt like I didn't belong. I could almost describe the school as desolate. The halls were so empty, and quiet. I saw a janitor here, a student there but nothing substantial. I had over a half hour to burn. I wandered aimlessly for a while not liking the emptiness. _There's a band room, there has to be a drum set I can screw around on._ I thought to myself. I made my way to the band room but heard a drum set. I was slightly disappointed but went over to the door to see who was playing. Whoever the person was, they were good. I turned the corner and looked through the window. _Mike, damn he's good_. I thought listening to him. I walked back to the back of the room there was a door that opened from the hall to the percussion area. I listened to a laid back jazz beat and how complicated it was. He stopped for a moment soon after and then switched to. I heard the door open and Mike stop.

"What's happening James? Why aren't you tutoring right now?" Mike asked. It must be his younger brother. His brother was very smart. He was also musical and a hard worker like Mike, they both seemed to have a strong presence about them. Physically they both seemed tough.

"Oh, yeah, he was sick. Thought I'd come see if you wanted to jam a bit" James responded causally.

"He's down with the sickness." I heard a scoff.

"Really Mike? Really?" he said obviously catching the disturbed reference.

"What do you want to play?" I looked in the window towards a mirror and saw James looking through a back room for a guitar.

"You know these guitars are crap right?" James said to Mike walking out of the room.

"Yeah just a bunch of rich kids who don't care if they break it, it's not theirs." I heard tuning. James must be tuning the guitar.

"Going electric today?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, want to play something with a bit more kick?" James responded with another question.

"I'm feeling like some Switchfoot." Mike replied.

"Okay, what did you have in mind?"

"Let's see… There is Meant to live, Dare you to move, Lonely Nation, Stars, Oh Gravity…" Mike listed.

"How about Lonely Nation?" James suggested.

"Okay, but then you have to sing I can't play that and sing." Mike responded.

"ahh… fine." James sighed in response. Mike came in with a drum beat that was pretty heavy and tight. The guitar came in next.

"She turns like the ocean  
She tells no emotion  
She's been gunning down the fight" It seems like they get off beat for a moment, then jump back on it._ Must be part of the song._

"She's just reminiscing  
Blood, sweat, and one thing's missing  
She's been breaking up inside, inside" I heard James voice climb a couple notes going in to the chorus.

"Singing without tongues  
Screaming without lungs  
I want more than my lonely nation  
I want more than my lonely nation  
Desperate we are young  
Seperate we are one  
I want more than my desperation  
I Want more than my lonely nation" James sang finishing the chorus.

"We are the target market  
We set the corporate target  
We are slaves of what we want  
We're just not amused  
And we're just used to bad news  
We are slaves of what we want

Singing without tongues  
Screaming without lungs  
I want more than my lonely nation  
I want more than my lonely nation  
Desperate we are young  
Seperate we are one  
I want more than my desperation  
I Want more than my lonely nation

Lonely, lonely

Don't leave me hollow  
I'm tired  
Don't leave me hollow  
I'm tired of feeling low  
Of feeling hollow  
I'm tired of feeling low  
Of feeling hollow  
I'm tired of feeling low  
Of feeling hollow  
I'm tired of feeling low  
Of feeling hollow  
Of feeling hollow  
Of feeling hollow

Singing without tongues  
Screaming without lungs  
Want more than my desperation  
I want more than my lonely nation  
Desperate we are young  
Separate we are one  
I want more than my lonely nation  
I want more than my lonely nation  
I want more than my lonely nation  
I want more than my lonely nation" the finished up the song and I snuck away before I could be caught. It was cool that they jammed together. Mike seemed different when he was drumming, when he was around his brother. I made my way back to my locker to find the rest of my adoptive family had made it to school. Students were starting to file in to school, as usual they tried to avoid us for the most part but we heard a laugh or a joke about us that we weren't supposed to hear. It frustrated me but I kept my cool, I was ready to snap but it wasn't the fault of these annoying students. Now was just a matter of keeping my head down and staying out of trouble until school was over. It was times like this when I felt like the whole day was like 10 minutes... holding my breath under water.

**Rosalie's POV**

My least favorite part of the day was right now, listening through the open door to the constant ridiculing of Mike Iverson. I wouldn't mind most times. Don't get me confused for some sick heroine who needs to save the poor kid. It just annoyed me that I was the subject of it all, like he needed to save me. He stood up for me even though I've never gave him a second look, I never gave him the slightest reason to. This misplaced heroism was annoying. What was worse was one slip up one day and he'd been getting it for over month from these obnoxious teens. It frustrated me that these kids had to gossip so damn much. What really ticked me off though was this stupid kid sticking up for me, no damn good reason.

"So yeah Ivy, have you asked Rosalie out yet?" They goaded him.

"Shut up leave me alone."

"Ah is it a sore subject?"

"Leave me alone…"

"Ah poor Ivy, can't have his crush, can't have anyone… maybe that Daniel Miller in the corner will go with you to prom… I heard he's really a catch." One snickered at him. _Don't respond Mike, damn it just don't say anything._

"Heck no, I'm not in to guys."

"Yeah right, haven't ever seen you with a girl, whose your girlfriend?"

"You don't have one do you Ivy?" another one laughed.

"Yeah pathetic bitch like you, you don't have a pair." Another one chimed in.

"You're pretty damn brave with your two friends here…" Mike muttered.

"What was that Ivy?" the main bully goaded.

"I said you're pretty brave with your two friends here… I could kick your ass." He said bravely.

"Hah, yeah right Ivy… you fat ass. Your fat ass would just try to squash me under you."

"Hah no girl would want to touch you."

"Yeah no kidding, twenty bucks says I can get that sexy bitch to kiss me before you can."

"No shitting, that's not even fair, I bet you get her to kiss you before he can even get her to talk to him."

"No no, He was telling us how much of a ladies' man he is, let's see if it's true." They laughed. _I am so fed up with this bull shit_. I turned my attention over to Emmett who was slightly amused and who dropped the look as soon as he saw the one on my face. The bell rang. I jumped out of my chair almost immediately and made my way out of the door Emmett lagging behind.

"Rosalie? Don't do it! Rosalie… stop!" I heard Edward calling from behind me. I turned back to see Emmett stop him. I turned to him thanking him. I couldn't take this same bull shit every day anymore these stupid teens were pissing me off. I intercepted Mike in the hall and stopped him right in front of me. his eyes met mine for a moment. He tried to move out of my way but I grabbed his shoulders.

"Don't act surprised… just go with it." I said to him looking him in the eyes. He was confused.

"What do you mean, 'go with it' what are you-" I sighed rolling my eyes. I looked over his shoulder to see that the dumb asses were watching before pulling myself to him and kissing him passionately. His eyes widened then closed as my tongue entered his mouth for a moment then I softly pulled back and away. Once my mouth was away from his I closed it. _Wow I have no clue how Edward did that with Bella regularly, being that close was difficult. _Mike blinked at me a couple time incredulously.

"Thanks Mike, I'll see you tomorrow?" I smiled at him before leaning in again this time closer to his ear.

"Just keep walking and act like it wasn't out of the ordinary." Mike nodded slightly and walked past me. I turned back to Emmett trying to hide the grin I had on my face. I heard the kids bickering behind me. Embry walked by the bullies.

"Hey, looks like you owe Mike twenty bucks… sucks to be you." He taunted and laughed walking away.

Emmett was grinning when I got over to him as well.

"Damn we should have started having fun at school a long time ago." He said. I laughed walking away from Edward who was goading me.

**Mike's POV**

I can't believe what happened. What were the chances that Rosalie randomly walked up to me and made out with me? I didn't think the chances were even remotely possible. I made my way out of the school towards the school bus not paying attention to where I was going. I opened the door and walked out and looked up. Jack and his two lackeys were waiting for me. the door closed behind me. I looked back remembering it locked from the inside. _Why the hell wasn't I more observant. I can think of a great reason why you weren't._ I said to myself.

"Ivy how the fuck did an ugly fat fuck like you get her to kiss you? Pay her money? That had to be it." I clenched my hands at my side.

"Get out of the way I need to leave to make the bus."

"Yeah… That's not going to happen…" Jack laughed.

"Once again, you're so brave with your two friends here, you're not man enough to fight me alone." I watched the bus leave behind Jack.

"Wow, what happened to you? That bitch kisses you and now you grew a spine?" He laughed. I took a step forward and I felt arms wrap around my arms holding me in place. Jack took a swing punching me in the stomach and I laughed hardily taking the shot.

"You hit like a pansy." I said before he punched me across the face. The top of my foot kicked between his legs and he fell down almost immediately. I ignored the pain in my face from the punch across my cheek. I stomped on the guys foot behind me. I dropped my weight slightly putting him off balance then drove him backwards in to the brick wall behind him. He yelped then I drove the back of my head in to his chin and his hands released. The third one punched me in the in face. I felt a bad cut on my lip. I ignored the annoying pain as I snapped a front kick to his stomach as hard as I could. I struck him with a palm strike to the side of his face. He was still bent over so I punted his stomach. He fell over and I saw Jack getting back up. He took a week swing at me with a haymaker I easily dodged then grabbed him by the throat with both my hands. I walked him over to the wall and shoved him up against it still holding on to his throat with my left hand. I took five or six shots to his stomach with my right hand before bringing him down for a strong knee to the stomach and chest. I finally let him go and watched him fall to the ground. I looked up and saw Embry climbing out of Rosalie's car. They appeared to have a short conversation and Jasper climbed out of the car. I reached down and grabbed my backpack. I didn't mean to walk towards Rosalie's car but it was sitting in the way of my way home and going around the block to get home when I already had a 12 mile hike home wasn't going to happen.

"Nice work back there Iverson." Rosalie commented. Grinned slightly but hid it.

"Yeah well…" I responded slightly embarrassed.

"How are you getting home?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh… I missed my bus so I guess I'm walking home." I said looking down at my feet.

"Get in, you live across the river from us, come on we'll give you a ride." Rosalie said casually.

"well umm…" I said unsurely.

"Come on we don't bite." Emmett said with a laugh. Rosalie shot him a dirty look and he stopped laughing.

"Okay." I said before climbing in the back

**Embry's POV**

I had just watched Mike beat up three bullies at once and I had to say I was definitely impressed, I could never do that before I became a wolf. I looked down at my phone as it vibrated. _Leah's calling._ I took the call.

"Hey Leah… what's up?" I asked

"Embry, I'm breaking up with you." She said emotionlessly.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Don't you get it Embry? I've wanted to get out of this relationship for a while and you just keep hanging on, I don't want to go out with you." I felt pain overtaking me through the pit of my stomach. I got out of the car and signaled them to leave without me and I went jogging away.

"Can't we just talk about it, what's up?"

"No you don't know what I'm saying, I don't want to be with you anymore." Leah said frustrated.

"I guess you're mad about something I don't know… how about we talk about this later… I'll call you in a week… maybe we can talk normally then." I said gripping for straws.

"Fine… Bye Embry."

"Bye Leah." I said. I heard the click of her phone and looked down at it sadly.

"I love you…"

**Yeah that's the chapter. Epilogue soon to follow. This book is almost done. I've been working on it for almost two years, but the story is FAR from over. All my ending comments and stuff I'll leave on the Epilogue. Thanks for reading. Remember authors are like plants, without water, sunlight and reviews they shrivel up and die. True story, I read it on Wikipedia. Remember to comment, give ideas, and reviews, rolls of twenty dollar bills, knucks, and high fives also appreciated. Catch ya on the flipside.**


	42. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:**

**Disclaimer Deuce:**

**Rosalie's POV**

"I don't know, it's kind of creepy you're watching Mike." Emmett laughed next to me.

"I'm just checking that he doesn't expect anything… plus I just needed to get out of the house."

"So you're checking up on your new lover?" He laughed next to me.

"Why? Are you jealous that I'm not watching you from a hundred yards away?" I goaded him.

"Hah, hell no." He laughed again.

"I'm worried like my little stunt made a lot more trouble than I originally thought." I said crossing my arms. Mike was dancing to some music, I'd laugh but he wasn't actually a horrible dancer.

"Ahhh, cold hearted Rosalie cares about the warmhearted Michael Iverson, oh what romance! It could be a movie!"

"Shut up Emmett."

"Star crossed lovers, amidst the hallways, the ice queen Rosalie Hale, and the geek Michael Iverson meet over a common dispute, and love sparks!" I rewarded him for his theatrics with a hard elbow to the ribs. He doubled over for a moment but was laughing regardless.

"That's for the Romeo and Juliette reference." I said as he gave me a mock innocent look.

"But soft, What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Michael is the sun Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon!" Emmett quoted.

"That's it!" I said before clubbing him repeatedly with my fists. _Only time will tell what Mike does… only time will tell._

**Embry's POV**

Seven days had past and I tried not to think about Leah or this call but today I needed to make it. It was this overwhelming pain that started in the pit of my stomach then spread to all of my body, ignoring it was better. Trying to just forget about it and moving on was easier. I knew that's what I wanted to do but I wouldn't. I would keep my word. It was the constant in my life, Billy taught me from a young age, "A man's word is who he is, if he can't keep his word, he's not worth anything. He is no good to the world, because how can the world depend on him if he never keeps his word?" Little did I know back then that Billy was my father. It's weird to see in so many occasions that he stood in for me as a father, and here he was, my real father.

I stopped letting my mind veer off course and pulled out my phone. I flipped it open and stared down at it as if it was a foreign device. I slowly clicked through my contacts until Leah's name was highlighted. I gulped as I slowly stared down at it trying to work up the courage to hit send. I couldn't do it. I closed my eyes tightly and prepared myself. _On one I'll hit send. Three… Two… One!_ I said forcing myself to press the button and awaiting the rejection I knew was sure to come. My heart raced as the phone rang.

"Hi Embry." She said emotionlessly.

"Hey Leah, how has it been?" I asked trying to stay calm.

"Why did you call?" She asked shortly. _This isn't going good._

"Well… ahh… b... because I said I would." I said stumbling over my words.

"I've moved on… I'm dating Patrick now." She said once again showing no emotion. Anger began to rise through me.

"When did this happen?" I said trying to keep my anger down.

"Two days ago." She said impassively.

"I'm glad you too so much time to think about us." I said sarcastically.

"I already told you I'm done, you just can't move on, I'm over you." She said emotion slipping in to her voice.

"Bull shit!" I almost screamed. I made sure no one was watching then jogged further away from the school.

"I'm sorry that you don't see all the things wrong with us, but I'm not going through it anymore, all the fights, all the arguments. It's not worth all the trouble and stress it caused." She said her voice faltering again.

"All the fights you started? You wait five damn days! You… You…" _Bitch! Slut! Fucking heartless monster._

"Say it Embry! Tell me what you really feel about me."She said almost yelling.

"I can't… I can't say it out loud, unlike you I can't verbally attack someone I love." I said angrily.

"I don't love you Embry. Maybe I did once… but going out with you a second time was a mistake." My body flexed in anger.

"Bullshit! You still love me, and you know going out with me wasn't a mistake." I yelled back.

"The first time, but after David, I should have just left. It was no good." _That's not how it felt to me. It was better than the first time. We worked through our problems._

"That's not true and you know it, you loved me the second time, don't lie to me, don't lie to yourself."

"Whatever Embry, it's over." She said finally before hanging up on me. I quickly placed the phone in my pocket before I destroyed it out of sheer rage.

**Wow… this story is done. I'd like to thank everyone for reading, and some of you for reviewing. After all this time it's quite an accomplishment to finish this story. When I started this story I didn't know how this story would end, if there would be any more in this series, or even what was the goal of this story. Now I've got a finished plan for the ending, and plenty of stories to follow this one. For those who have been reading for years now, I thank you, for new readers thanks for starting. The next story is "Call's Destiny" I hope everyone reads it. I might throw in my Prologue for that story tonight if I can find it under my word documents Please review, give general ideas, give me your overall thoughts on the story. Remember, reviews make the world go round. So please drop your knucks, reviews, high fives, rolls of twenties, and ideas in my reviews. Catch ya on the flip side **


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